What an unusual take, to write from the perspective of a somewhat less principal character! Your mind is fascinating!
And your Kajal is beautiful. Her spirit has been broken by abuse and neglect, but it is that brokenness that connects her to Abhira. I love the duality in Kajal both hoping to be saved by Abhira being her voice, and also hoping that Abhira could be saved from having her own voice taken away. It's like Kajal and Abhira are both victims and saviours, weak and strong at the same time.
Had the makers not strayed from the direction that the script would have organically taken after that lovely bangles scene, the relationship between Abhira and Kajal had the potential to be so poignant and powerful. If only..
I absolutely love this OS because it is a reminder, not only, of what could have been, but what ought to have been. Thank you! 
Please keep writing.
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