Posted:
"Raman loves me. Doesn't he? Ofcource he does. What are you even thinking, Ishita? It shows in his eyes. In his words, in his actions. But if he does love me, what in the world is taking him so long to say it to me directly? May be he isn't too sure about me? May be deep inside, he knows he still isn't over Shagun and ohh Godd.. How do i even put it? May be *deep pause* it's like.. What he feels for me must be sympathy, respect and even care but not love? No no no Ishita. Put a full stop on your thoughts. Just stop. *deep breath* But he gave credits for his success to Shagun at that Asia Business Head ceremony? That time, weren't we.. Umm close to each other? Okayy, may be not very open about our admiration but we weren't just Ruhi's parents that time? I thought our equations changed? Or may be it was all a sham? May be i was living in an illusion all this time? Or may be i still am?
And Ruhi? She loves me. I am her one and only Ishima. But slowly Shagun Mumma is becoming important for her too, isn't it?
Godd.. I shouldn't have let Shagun in my own house that night."
"The scariest thing in the world is the fact that u can never know what people's intention are with u."
It all started on that fateful night when Raman was about to confess his love for Ishita. There was a knock on the door, and little did the the lovebirds know.. Their lives had taken a turn. An unexpected turn for the better or for the worse, one could never tell. Shagun turning up drunk with Raman's estranged son and Ishita letting the mother-duo in for Raman's sake. "I had promised i would never come between father and son, even if it means i need to bear Shagun in my own house. Anything for Raman. And Adi."
A few days after that night went fine with Raman ignoring Shagun and trying to mend his relationship with Adi, and Ruhi clinging to her Ishima and being intimidated by presence of Shagun Mumma.
And then one day, Ishita could feel the equations changing. She tried to ignore her feelings, but deep down, she knew something wasn't going too right in her house. She had returned from clinic only to see Ruhi sitting next to Shagun and playing with her saree as she watched her favourite program on TV. Although she jumped as soon as she heard her Ishima calling, Ishita couldn't get that sight out of her head. It was the start of acknowledging the feeling of insecurity Ishita never knew resided in her. Not after Ruhi made it clear that she is only Ishima's daughter in front of the whole society and more imporantly, Subbu's mother.
A few more days later, not just Ruhi, but Raman had also gotten accustomed to Shagun's presence in the house. And Ishita could see all this as Shagun's humble attempts to get back to Raman and Ruhi, but she couldn't help but get affected by Raman's friend-like reaction to whatever Shagun said. "Raman, can you drop me and Adi over to his school? I want to have a word with his teacher." "Sure. Get ready in 10." "He didn't even ask what does she want to talk to his teacher. Ohh Shagun, you aren't doing the right thing."
Earlier it was only minor insecurities. But as the bridges between Ruhi and Shagun and Raman and Adi started to mend, Ishita suddenly started to feel her mere identity in the Bhalla house questioned. "And Romi still refers to Shagun as his Bhabhi."
Ishita was snapped out of her insecurities when she heard her cellphone ring.
*Raman calling..*
"Hello"
"What hello Jhansi Ki Rani? What the hell are u doing? I've been calling u since ages"
"Woh.. I didn't realise my phone has been ringing"
"Ohh Godd. Where in the world i've been stuck up. Accha listen. Bring Ruhi from school today. I am busy in a meeting."
"Busy?"
"Uff don't ask too many questions Madrasan. I have work unlike u. Bye"
Although such conversations have between the two of them but somehow it didn't go too well with Ishita. Owing to her insecurities.
"I need to clear this mess out. I need to do it now."
*calling Raman*
"What is it Madrasan? Don't u understand i am busy? Why do u have to keep calling every minute to eat my brains?"
*almost choking*
"Raman.. I really need to talk to u. If u could come over to my clinic? Please Raman.. I beg of u. Trust me if it wasn't urgent i wouldn't have bothered u at all."
"Ishita? Are u okay? Don't worry i'll be there in 20. The meeting is important but it definitely isn't important than the people i care about."
"People i care about.. He really doesn't love me. He just cares about me. Stop it Ishita. He's coming around na.. Clear this once n for all."
*20 mins later*
"What is it Ishita? Why have u called me so urgently?"
"Raman, can i please know what is it really that u feel for me?"
"Have u gone mad? What do u mean? U called me while i was amidst a very important meeting only to play this stupid game of 'tell me ur feelings?' U don't care about the loss i'll suffer out of this haina? And it's amazing how people call me insensitive"
"Raman.. Please i know it might be a huge loss for u and im really sorry for that lekin i can't even begin to tell u how much disturbed i've been for the last few days. Please free me from all the hurt and say if u really need me in ur life or no."
"WHAATT? What makes you think i don't need u in my life? You are important Ishita, don't u know?"
"I know i am imporant. I don't have doubts regarding. After all, im ur daughter's mother."
"That was long ago. Now, you're my wife. Holy crap are u insane?"
"Raman.. Sometimes i feel u still love Shagun. You still think about her and the times she spent with you. When i see u 4 together in the drawing room when i return from the clinic, i realise how happy u might have been when Shagun was still there in ur life. May be that's why even after so many months of our marriage, u still chose to thank her for ur Asia Business Head position."
"Ishita. You're going overboard now. You know this isn't true."
"My heart knows it isn't true Raman but my mind.. It's playing games with me. Shagun is playing games with me. Im not at peace with my own feelings Raman. Please clear it for my sanity. Ruhi too seems to like her Shagun Mumma a lot these days."
"Ishita. Im surprised. Just a while ago i was thinking look at this lady.. So ziddi. Just won't say i love u to me till i won't say it to her. Seems like i'll have to give in. Can't really control my desires for her and here u are.. On a different page altogether? I don't call u Pagal Madrasan without no reason, u crackhead."
"Raman?"
"Ohh shut up.. Let me clear this once and for all Ishita and i dare u to bring this topic ever again.
Have u gone mad? Feeling insecure about Ruhi? That u'll lose her to that Shagun? This isn't possible Ishita. Ruhi loves u. More than anybody in this world. She might call me as her favourite person but we both know who was behind those dialogues. That girl eats like you, beats like u, acts like u and reacts like u and u think u'l lose her to Shagun? Im so greatful to u for making her my Mini Madrasan and here u are thinking all sorts of nonsense. Whatever im going to do of u, Ishita. Really. Ruhi is clinging to her Shagun Mumma like a guest. She's been reapectful towards her just because she knows u'l be so much impressed by her. Everything she does, she does keeping u in mind so never again doubt her love for u, Ishita. That girl will break."
"Raman. It's not about her. It's about.."
"I know what it is all about, Ishita. Im just strengthening ur faith in her love towards u.
And as for me.. The way i act, the way i behave, i really didn't know it has so much impact on u. Im really sorry i credited Shagun for my success instead of u. I know i was very wrong, and i haven't really forgiven myself for making my anger towards u public par what was i to do Ishita? I heard u saying I love u to that Mani. I was really broken. I had just lost all my senses. U seemed to have find a new life partner for urself. I thought u were leaving me."
"But raman.. U know it wasn't true. I was just helping u win.."
"I know it now Ishita. But back then, i only saw my past repeating in front of my eyes all over again. U changing his name on ur fone, u lying to me that u were at clinic while u were with Mani.. U know all these things Shagun did when she was with me."
"I didn't mean to hurt u Raman."
"I know, stupid woman. That's why i hve forgiven u. *chuckle*
"Raman."
"The bottomline is, we've both hurt each other, Ishita. But we adjusted to each other everytime because i never felt the need to get rid of u. Now i realised it isn't that we are affected by our presence only but by our absence too. That's why we've been tolerating each other patiently. And i don't know about u, but u mean a lot to me Ishita. And what i've felt with u, i haven't felt it with anybody else. Not with Shagun not with anybody. I've been in love before but trust me, it wasn't even half as soul-rendering as it is now. You are magic, Ishita. Im sorry to keep u waiting for so long, but now i guess is the time. I love u Ishita. I have been in love with u since so long and i know for a fact that this love is here to stay, for u aren't Shagun and i aren't the old Raman. I'm your Raman, Ishita's Raman. And Shagun doesn't stand a place in our lives. Adi is important.. But never will u think i'll choose him over u. You and him won't ever be the choices i'll be fighting for."
"I can't thank u enough, Raman. Thank u for coming into my life as a blessing. As u said, this love is here to stay. I love u Raman. I really love u."
"I know Madrasan, i know. Shal we go and pick up Ruhi now?"
*on the way to Ruhi's school*
"Hello Mihir, i need a favour yar. Can u please ask Shagun to shift to your house? Actually she would be more comfortable there i feel..."
-THE END-
And Ruhi? She loves me. I am her one and only Ishima. But slowly Shagun Mumma is becoming important for her too, isn't it?
Godd.. I shouldn't have let Shagun in my own house that night."
"The scariest thing in the world is the fact that u can never know what people's intention are with u."
It all started on that fateful night when Raman was about to confess his love for Ishita. There was a knock on the door, and little did the the lovebirds know.. Their lives had taken a turn. An unexpected turn for the better or for the worse, one could never tell. Shagun turning up drunk with Raman's estranged son and Ishita letting the mother-duo in for Raman's sake. "I had promised i would never come between father and son, even if it means i need to bear Shagun in my own house. Anything for Raman. And Adi."
A few days after that night went fine with Raman ignoring Shagun and trying to mend his relationship with Adi, and Ruhi clinging to her Ishima and being intimidated by presence of Shagun Mumma.
And then one day, Ishita could feel the equations changing. She tried to ignore her feelings, but deep down, she knew something wasn't going too right in her house. She had returned from clinic only to see Ruhi sitting next to Shagun and playing with her saree as she watched her favourite program on TV. Although she jumped as soon as she heard her Ishima calling, Ishita couldn't get that sight out of her head. It was the start of acknowledging the feeling of insecurity Ishita never knew resided in her. Not after Ruhi made it clear that she is only Ishima's daughter in front of the whole society and more imporantly, Subbu's mother.
A few more days later, not just Ruhi, but Raman had also gotten accustomed to Shagun's presence in the house. And Ishita could see all this as Shagun's humble attempts to get back to Raman and Ruhi, but she couldn't help but get affected by Raman's friend-like reaction to whatever Shagun said. "Raman, can you drop me and Adi over to his school? I want to have a word with his teacher." "Sure. Get ready in 10." "He didn't even ask what does she want to talk to his teacher. Ohh Shagun, you aren't doing the right thing."
Earlier it was only minor insecurities. But as the bridges between Ruhi and Shagun and Raman and Adi started to mend, Ishita suddenly started to feel her mere identity in the Bhalla house questioned. "And Romi still refers to Shagun as his Bhabhi."
Ishita was snapped out of her insecurities when she heard her cellphone ring.
*Raman calling..*
"Hello"
"What hello Jhansi Ki Rani? What the hell are u doing? I've been calling u since ages"
"Woh.. I didn't realise my phone has been ringing"
"Ohh Godd. Where in the world i've been stuck up. Accha listen. Bring Ruhi from school today. I am busy in a meeting."
"Busy?"
"Uff don't ask too many questions Madrasan. I have work unlike u. Bye"
Although such conversations have between the two of them but somehow it didn't go too well with Ishita. Owing to her insecurities.
"I need to clear this mess out. I need to do it now."
*calling Raman*
"What is it Madrasan? Don't u understand i am busy? Why do u have to keep calling every minute to eat my brains?"
*almost choking*
"Raman.. I really need to talk to u. If u could come over to my clinic? Please Raman.. I beg of u. Trust me if it wasn't urgent i wouldn't have bothered u at all."
"Ishita? Are u okay? Don't worry i'll be there in 20. The meeting is important but it definitely isn't important than the people i care about."
"People i care about.. He really doesn't love me. He just cares about me. Stop it Ishita. He's coming around na.. Clear this once n for all."
*20 mins later*
"What is it Ishita? Why have u called me so urgently?"
"Raman, can i please know what is it really that u feel for me?"
"Have u gone mad? What do u mean? U called me while i was amidst a very important meeting only to play this stupid game of 'tell me ur feelings?' U don't care about the loss i'll suffer out of this haina? And it's amazing how people call me insensitive"
"Raman.. Please i know it might be a huge loss for u and im really sorry for that lekin i can't even begin to tell u how much disturbed i've been for the last few days. Please free me from all the hurt and say if u really need me in ur life or no."
"WHAATT? What makes you think i don't need u in my life? You are important Ishita, don't u know?"
"I know i am imporant. I don't have doubts regarding. After all, im ur daughter's mother."
"That was long ago. Now, you're my wife. Holy crap are u insane?"
"Raman.. Sometimes i feel u still love Shagun. You still think about her and the times she spent with you. When i see u 4 together in the drawing room when i return from the clinic, i realise how happy u might have been when Shagun was still there in ur life. May be that's why even after so many months of our marriage, u still chose to thank her for ur Asia Business Head position."
"Ishita. You're going overboard now. You know this isn't true."
"My heart knows it isn't true Raman but my mind.. It's playing games with me. Shagun is playing games with me. Im not at peace with my own feelings Raman. Please clear it for my sanity. Ruhi too seems to like her Shagun Mumma a lot these days."
"Ishita. Im surprised. Just a while ago i was thinking look at this lady.. So ziddi. Just won't say i love u to me till i won't say it to her. Seems like i'll have to give in. Can't really control my desires for her and here u are.. On a different page altogether? I don't call u Pagal Madrasan without no reason, u crackhead."
"Raman?"
"Ohh shut up.. Let me clear this once and for all Ishita and i dare u to bring this topic ever again.
Have u gone mad? Feeling insecure about Ruhi? That u'll lose her to that Shagun? This isn't possible Ishita. Ruhi loves u. More than anybody in this world. She might call me as her favourite person but we both know who was behind those dialogues. That girl eats like you, beats like u, acts like u and reacts like u and u think u'l lose her to Shagun? Im so greatful to u for making her my Mini Madrasan and here u are thinking all sorts of nonsense. Whatever im going to do of u, Ishita. Really. Ruhi is clinging to her Shagun Mumma like a guest. She's been reapectful towards her just because she knows u'l be so much impressed by her. Everything she does, she does keeping u in mind so never again doubt her love for u, Ishita. That girl will break."
"Raman. It's not about her. It's about.."
"I know what it is all about, Ishita. Im just strengthening ur faith in her love towards u.
And as for me.. The way i act, the way i behave, i really didn't know it has so much impact on u. Im really sorry i credited Shagun for my success instead of u. I know i was very wrong, and i haven't really forgiven myself for making my anger towards u public par what was i to do Ishita? I heard u saying I love u to that Mani. I was really broken. I had just lost all my senses. U seemed to have find a new life partner for urself. I thought u were leaving me."
"But raman.. U know it wasn't true. I was just helping u win.."
"I know it now Ishita. But back then, i only saw my past repeating in front of my eyes all over again. U changing his name on ur fone, u lying to me that u were at clinic while u were with Mani.. U know all these things Shagun did when she was with me."
"I didn't mean to hurt u Raman."
"I know, stupid woman. That's why i hve forgiven u. *chuckle*
"Raman."
"The bottomline is, we've both hurt each other, Ishita. But we adjusted to each other everytime because i never felt the need to get rid of u. Now i realised it isn't that we are affected by our presence only but by our absence too. That's why we've been tolerating each other patiently. And i don't know about u, but u mean a lot to me Ishita. And what i've felt with u, i haven't felt it with anybody else. Not with Shagun not with anybody. I've been in love before but trust me, it wasn't even half as soul-rendering as it is now. You are magic, Ishita. Im sorry to keep u waiting for so long, but now i guess is the time. I love u Ishita. I have been in love with u since so long and i know for a fact that this love is here to stay, for u aren't Shagun and i aren't the old Raman. I'm your Raman, Ishita's Raman. And Shagun doesn't stand a place in our lives. Adi is important.. But never will u think i'll choose him over u. You and him won't ever be the choices i'll be fighting for."
"I can't thank u enough, Raman. Thank u for coming into my life as a blessing. As u said, this love is here to stay. I love u Raman. I really love u."
"I know Madrasan, i know. Shal we go and pick up Ruhi now?"
*on the way to Ruhi's school*
"Hello Mihir, i need a favour yar. Can u please ask Shagun to shift to your house? Actually she would be more comfortable there i feel..."
-THE END-
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