The Tale of the Two Wives of Raman Kumar Bhalla
This past week highlighted the contrast between Raman's wives... past and present. Enter the worlds of ex-wife Shagun (like Cher) and his Jhansi ki Rani, Tamil-Brahmin wife Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla-Iyer.
Shagun is desperate, shallow, a self-absorbed spa-queen and attention-seeking party animal. She's an opportunist who uses immature tactics to stoke the fire and uses her children as weapons to get ex-hubby Raman's attention. To her, the end justifies the means. She uses, abuses and disposes people to suit her agenda. Shagun justifies her approach in life, is narcissistic and doesn't mind blaming Raman and Ishu for her unhealed wounds. She plays the "poor pitiful me"card, ready to do anything to be the center of attention.😒
Ishu is considerate, pragmatic, responsible, loving, and accepts her imperfections. She is a professional who takes a mature approach to life. She is pure at heart and chooses to see the good in others. Her wounds in life have given her the inner strength to live life gracefully. She respects Raman, his family and her own and co-parents Ruhi with love and care. She respects and accepts Raman's role in Adi's life. She doesn't make Raman or anyone else pay for her emotional wounds.
It may seem inflicting pain in others is fulfilling but it only leaves one's heart in pain even as the need to stoke the fire and keep hurting others never dies down. After all the pain was never out there but in one's own heart- Unknown.
We saw many faces of Shagun at the party, berating Raman for his oversight to sign the medical contract, accusing him of not loving Adi anymore, among other things, and projecting her own shortcomings on to him with a little melodrama thrown in for effect by returning the earrings he had gifted her after Adi's birth.Yet Raman was man enough to own up to his mistake for the oversight.
Why was Shagun making such a big issue about renewing the stem cell contract? Does Adi have a medical condition that may require stem cells for future medical treatment? His odd facial twitches/expressions makes one wonder if that's the case.😔 Is his health another reason Raman is more concerned about Adi?
Just when we think we got a glimpse of Shagun, a caring mother, who is for once putting her son's needs ahead of her own selfish-interests during their talk, the green-eyed monster in her rears its ugly head and she reverts to being an insecure and petty person👎🏼. She revels in Ishu hearing Raman admit that he would never again know the joy of having another child and she had given him the greatest gift of his life, their son Adi, and her weapon😒. Ishu heard the truth in Raman's words, hurt she walked away without causing a scene.
Shagun and Ashok have for years looked to practice their "neecha dhikana" on Raman. She still continues to target Ishu with the same attitude for intentionally misleading her and marrying Raman. Shagun accuses Raman of not caring for Adi because he forgot to sign a medical contract, how much did she care when she walked away from her infant daughter, no comparison here! Not if Ruhi, her own flesh and blood has anything to say about that. Ruhi will guard her Ishima with everything she's got, and even Raman knows that.
Once they see you are doing better without them, that's when they want you back.-Unknown
Shagun was married to Raman,a man madly in love with her and their two beautiful children. She poisoned Adi's mind against Raman and walked away with him leaving Raman to care for new born Ruhi. She traded her family for the promise of an opulent lifestyle with his boss Ashok. Grass seemed greener on the other side. Raman's desperate pleas to consider their children's wellbeing fell on her deaf ears. She walked out on her baby girl without a second glance. Life's lesson: It's good to forgive someone's actions and move on, but never, ever forget the betrayal.
Shagun sees Raman is now a happier family man with a new wife. Raman is also more successful than Ashok. Ashok is busy recouping his losses and plotting with Param to ruin Raman's business. She was happy to divorce Raman but it doesn't appear that Ashok wants to make an honest woman out of her. She was blindsided when Raman married Ishu and they got custody of Ruhi.
She's can't stomach the possibility of Raman loving anyone but her, that's narcissism. She didn't value Raman's attention and love enough when they were married but still feels she's entitled to it now that he's married to Ishu. It doesn't help her see things differently when he hangs out with sociopaths (Ashok and Param). She'll do more harm to her children in the environment she lives in (Adi is already paying the price for it) and her attitude doesn't help either. Shagun didn't appreciate Ishu listing her shortcomings as a parent either. Shagun ought to know by now that Ishu is no pushover.
Shagun left Ritesh's party pleased with herself for a mission accomplished, after all she had sent Ishu a clear message that she will always be in Raman's life because of Adi and Ishu could never give Raman the gift of a child. One woman rejoicing in the pain of another woman's limitations speaks volumes about her vindictive nature. If nothing else, Raman should remember that you can forgive and move on but never forget.
Contrast that with the conversation Raman had with Ishu an hour later. The best part of the evening came when he found a dispirited Ishu on the bench outside his friend's house. Raman didn't expect Ishu to overhear his conversation with Shagun.
Ishu doesn't burden Raman with her personal issues. Her unselfish nature makes her the perfect woman to give Raman a much needed wakeup call about the nature of his relationship with Shagun and its impact on his children.
Ishu may not be able to beget him children but she is doing a mighty good job of raising one that Shagun delivered. Shagun should be grateful and admire Ishu's magnanimity of spirit in raising Ruhi with so much love, something she herself never chose to do.
Ishu knows how to keep her family together without creating waves like Shagun. She also knows how to tackle the scheming Shaguns of the world, she's always stayed a few steps ahead.
I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, it is what he thinks of himself. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Ishu didn't give Raman the angry, silent treatment when he found her on the bench after she had overheard his conversation with Shagun. She laid it all out for him to understand, her pain and sadness without hatred or anger. She assured him that she'd never stand in the way of his relationship with Adi.
Raman was in awe of a graceful Ishu. She didn't belittle Shagun nor did she turn on him like a fish-wife to stake her rights as his wife. She laid it all out for Raman to see that they were in it together, for life. No mean manipulations, no drama, no tantrums, just a talk straight from the heart. When Raman felt uncomfortable with the conversation, and distracted her, Ishu seamlessly and brilliantly let him know it was a serious conversation.
She laid it all out with clarity reminding him of why he married her (for Ruhi's sake) and the importance of their mutual responsibility when it came to his children. All Raman could do was sit with tears shimmering in his eyes and listen to Ishu's heartfelt words, in awe and admiration of his wife, the one his daughter has chosen for him👍🏼. Realistic dialogues⭐️ paired with excellent performances by the actors made it a must-see scene⭐️👏.That's as graceful and magnanimous as they come.
With Ishu's help Raman is gradually investing more of himself in their marriage. He now does little things just to make her happy (become VenkatRaman Iyer for a day on occasion)😉. Raman has integrity, is loyal and grounded and expects the same from the people in his life. Ishu married Raman solely to become Ruhi's mother. Neither of them expected to chip away at each other's walls and see the possibility of a budding, honest relationship.😳
Ishu bears the scars of a young love gone wrong and the rejections that followed. Yet she never blamed anyone for her painful past. She is pragmatic and has a strong inner core. She picks her battles be it with Shagun or Raman. Shagun sees people in her life as usable and disposable at will😒. Ishu on the other hand nurtures her relationships with love and care. Raman chose to marry Shagun (as far as we know) but Ruhi chose Ishu for Raman.👍🏼👏
The more anger you hold in your heart towards the past, the less capable you are of loving the present.-Unknown
Friday was a turning point in Raman's relationships with Shagun and Ishu. Raman realized that if Shagun was just Adi's mother to him, then he needs to give her that respect for the sake of the children and let go of all residual emotions he harbors for his ex-wife. Raman can now move forward in his life with Ishu and Ruhi, and love Adi from a distance (for now).👏
We won't be surprised when Shagun starts to look for ways to use Adi esp. if he has a medical condition to get back into Raman's life. After all Ashok has been cool towards her recently and with Ishu's candid rebuttal to Shagun's scornful accusations at the spa the battle lines had been drawn. Ishu categorically stated she would never,give up her life (Raman and Ruhi),for anyone. Shagun won't take kindly to that, especially coming from intimidating Ishu (though she won't admit it😛). She instantly decided to undermine Ishu at the party.
At the salsa dance when Raman invited Ishu to walk hand in hand by his side for life, as hurt and angry as she was by his behavior, she accepted. This time it was Raman's turn to make a hand- shake promise that, as a couple, he will coordinate with her all matters relating to Adi and Ruhi.This way Shagun can't pull one over on them, she'll have to take on "khafi smart" Ishu too. Now that's a smart preemptive move. Getikaara Iyer ponnu (smart Iyer girl).
Please add your thoughts😃.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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