Was wondering if you were going to post tonight. 😉 Will come back with a post in a bit. 😊
Edited:
Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. Jab tum sab kuch keh deti ho, hum baaqi sabke liye kehne ko kya rehta hai?😆As usual, you never fail with your keen observations, attention to detail, and beautiful descriptions to give these moments life. Thank you.😊
Through this journey that is Raman and Ishita, it has always been Ishita I found harder to crack, harder to sometimes even like. A lot of this, for me, had to with what she does best and RKB loves to hate: give lectures.😆Raman se zyada mujhse itni lambi aur preachy taqreerein nai bardash hoti, yaar.😕😆However, Ishita's tendency (or should I say talent?😉) to give speeches is something I have come to accept as one of her inherent qualities and main traits. It's what drives RKB (and sometimes me) crazy.😆It is therefore that her transformation from Ishita Iyer to Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla can be seen through looking at the quality that makes Ishita, Ishita: Ishita's speeches.
For the purposes of this post, I'll note Ishita's speeches to Raman. Ishita has always been a loving character, and all of her lambi bhashaans had a form of love behind them, coming from somewhere in her heart. With Raman, her relationship started off very rocky, with both disliking the other and Ishita seeing the marriage as nothing but a compromise, and Raman, as a deal. Mirroring the the status of their relationship at that time, Ishita constantly lectured Raman on parenthood, being a good father, and showing Ruhi he loves her. Ishita delivered these lectures to Raman in great anger and frustration, without letting Raman get a word in edgewise most of the time. Behind these lectures was Ishita's love for Ruhi only. It was only that love that gave her the strength and support she needed to fulfill the role for which she came to the house: her role of a mother to Ruhi. Their was little to no softness or understanding between Raman and Ishita when they started co-parenting, and there was little to no softness or understanding from Ishita to Raman when she lectured him at that stage in their marriage. Ruhi was always the driving force for Ishita, and that showed in her bhashaans to Raman.
Over time, Ishita started developing meaningful relationships with her in-laws. While she considered them family from when she married Raman, forming relationships with them outside of her relationship with Ruhi was not something she expected or planned. Gradually, she found another mother and father and gained new brothers and sisters. She began exercising her haq in that role through helping Simmi and Param (for arguments sake I'll ignore the repercussions of that), trying to unite Mihir with Mihika, getting to know Romi as a person (and giving him a ride when needed-- hey, it counts okay😆), and always trying to keep peace between her amma and saas. Her bhashaans to Raman became less focused on Ruhi, and more on everyone else's lives. She accepted she was now, in addition to a mother, a daughter-in-law and sister-in-law, and came at Raman with her lectures from those angles. The frustration and anger with which she used to lecture Raman before in regards to Ruhi were now replaced with a concern that didn't exist before, because she had not then accepted her role as a family member to the other family members in the Bhalla house. Her relationship with Raman was also blurring the lines a bit. Was it still sirf Ruhi ke liye when Ishita wasn't arguing over how to parent Ruhi anymore but was concerned about other family members, too? She became a mother, daughter, and sister, but was not going to tread on the dangerous ground of becoming a wife-- not yet anyway. But still, when she lectured Raman now, it was less through the motivation of Ruhi and more through her own motivation as a member of the Bhalla house.
What's left in Ishita becoming Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla? Her accepting that she IS Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla, of course!😃Now I'll move to present-day. Where do Ishita and her speeches stand now? Thankfully, they're SO much more tolerable for me, because they now all come from a wife lecturing her husband.😃What I once considered Ishita's bhashaans to Raman I now see as banter, nok-jhok, a purposeful tease, from her to him (and of course vice versa). I mean really thinking about it, has Ishita really lectured Raman recently on anything serious-- that can't be covered in her bhashaans motivated through her concern for Ruhi and other Bhallas? I don't think so, unless someone can think of something? The stage Raman and Ishita are in now is mirrored in Ishita's literal speech to Raman today: her thanking him in Punjabi! Now here is a speech I'm sure Raman didn't mind hearing.😆More than that, here is a speech from Ishita that comes from a place in her heart that doesn't belong to Ruhi or her in-laws, it's a place in her heart reserved only for Raman. There is a clear softness and warmth when Ishita speaks to Raman now that was missing before, because before she wasn't speaking as a wife to her husband. Now, there is an understanding, she tries to reason with Raman, she speaks and now also listens. She tries to understand even when she doesn't agree. She even will defend him against her family members when she doesn't agree with the with what she's actually defending! 😆Today Ishita's speech in Punjabi was the epitome of current-day Ishita as an individual and Raman and Ishita as partners: Ishita as a wife, now connected emotionally to her husband through a love that's their own. Ishita's most significant line today was how Raman is not only a good person, but good for her. THIS is Ishita now fully accepting she is Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla (at least in her heart), giving bhashaans out of love for Raman, with the once bitterness, anger, and frustration over the compromise, gone.
I will also add a small note in regards to the bhashaan Ishita gave Tandon. Even though that was not directed at Raman, it was still very much for Raman, as much as it was for her. She voiced her hurt and pain over losing a former love, one that was deep and whose betrayal shattered her. But she has moved on and slowly re-built the pieces of that broken heart. She has faith that a broken heart can be whole again. It refilled the day she met and then became a mother to Ruhi, and she has never felt a void since. Her heart is now, however, experiencing new emotions and feelings which are separate from Ruhi, a recent example being her visible heartbreak at seeing Raman dance with his ex-wife. Today she finally acknowledged these feelings in typical Ishita style: in speech form (both when speaking to Tandon and then later in Punjabi to Raman)!😃
Now all that's left is for Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla to stop beating around the bush and tell her RKB how she really feels directly. Apparently he didn't get the message even in his own mother tongue. I think her only option at this point is to just SAY IT, probably in as a few words as possible, because her trait of giving lambi bhashaans seems to be failing her in this case. But when you're dealing with two dhakkans, I guess this is what's expected.😆
Great post, Nikki! Very insightful!😊
