The Fall OS Contest Voting Round

[Graphic Partner: Vampire-queen]

Just Another Day

It was indeed a beautiful day. As she walked to the place which she would love to call as a home', with hands plunged deep into the jacket pockets and the scarf that fluttered slowly with the gentle breeze, she felt unusually light. It's been five months and twenty-six days to be precise. She had taken the same route everyday. She had seen the seasons changing day by day. The trees in the park that she crossed daily showed how her different each day was. How different every moment is. But she knew well. All do not see it. There is no time for anyone. Everyone is in a hurry. But she was not. Her usual ten minute walk from the nearby bus station to the home was a regular routine. The one that gave a meaning for her once-empty life.

As she walked in, Mrs. Parker smiled behind the reception desk. When she smiled, her eyes go hidden behind her chubby cheeks. "Good morning dear..." She waved as she came closer. "Morning Mrs. Parker, how's your day?"

"Oh, it's great. And what's not there it to be so?" she winked friendly.

Of course, the one thing that she had learnt in past few months was this very important secret of life. What's not there around us? Everything is around us; we just need to look for it with a right mind. And not everyone is blessed with a mind that thinks in the right way. And she lived with that truth everyday.

She walked closer to the room. It was a warm bedroom with a bed that was closer to the wall, and faced the window which was now open. The bed was neatly arranged with a white bed sheet sprinkled with yellow polka dots. The side table had a flower vase with a single white dahlia. And there she was, sitting by the edge of the bed and allowing a mid-aged lady to adjust her gown. She sat with a little annoyance in her face.

She knocked at the door and took the attention of the members inside the room. "Ah, my dear. Right on time!" the lady who was helping the other, beamed and asked her to come in. "So Mrs. John, I would leave you at her care. Have a wonderful time. Would you like something more?"

"Yes..." the lady had a withered voice. "Please close the door when you go. And yes, did I tell you, that I don't like you?"

"Of course Mrs. John. You already told me thrice today. Ok I will leave. Good day."

The helper walked away giving an assuring smile. And then she turned back to her, Mrs. John. Aged 76. She had silver hair which was now neatly brushed by Angela, the one who just left now. She had a flowery gown that went down to her knees. Her skin was now wrinkled. And her face tells everyone that once she was a beauty.

"How are you Mrs. John?" She asked casually as she walked closer to the bed, placing her bag on the side table. "Oh, I am great. But do I know you?"

"Lord!! Where are my manners? Sorry, let me introduce myself. I am Naina. And we will be spending the whole day together, and maybe have some fun too."

"Thank you Ms... Um... Naina, right? Strange name, my love? Does it mean something?"

"yup.. it means Eyes."

"Eyes!!! Lovely!! And you do have a lovely pair of eyes. And I think I like you too. And maybe you are right; we may have some fun, isn't it?"

"Of course. So, did you have your breakfast?"

"Yeah..." her voice was weary. "I hate that oat meal. It's yuck. I want something... like barbecue..."

"Barbecue? Right in the morning? No... let's see by evening. Maybe we can have it."

"That's lovely my Little Eyes. And that lady who went away when you came in, she calls herself Angela. Like an Angel and she say I can't have a barbeque. Isn't it horrible?"

"Oh yes it is. But don't worry; I will make sure we have a barbeque today evening. But what would you like to do now?"

Mrs. John thinks hard for a while and looks out of the window. "The weather looks perfect. How about a walk to the garden?"

"That's a great idea. Let's go"

Naina wraps a shawl around the lady who was now as eager as a kid for a school trip. She helps the elder one to a wheelchair and gently pushes her out of the room. The corridor had some inmates walking or helped to walk or wheeled out by their individual care taker. St. Louis Home was indeed a home for people like Mrs. John.

The garden infront of the home was vast. It was away from the mad crowd. It was a silent and well kept part of the world. "Let's sit there." Mrs. John pointed at a place where there was a wooden bench too. Naina puts the brake on the wheels and made sure Mrs. John was in a good place; content and happy.

By the time Naina settled on the seat near to the wheelchair, Mrs. John had a faraway look. Naina followed her line of sight and reached the autumn leaves that was scattered around. It looked like the golden sprinkles on the green grass. This is one of her favorite seasons in the whole year. As someone had already said, "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower". And it looks like Mrs. John too loved this season.

Naina bent down to pick a leaf that was close to her feet. The leaf felt so light when she twisted the twig. For a moment she missed Mrs. John's eyes on her face and the leaf; as she was slightly taken away from the present to the past.

A young girl was hopping up and down as she walked past the road that was covered with dried leaves. They were not dead leaves; instead they had a glow of its own, as if stating that even the end was beautiful. She could see a pair of open arms waiting for her as she hoped straight to her. She had a beautiful smile as she plucked the little girl from the ground. "Welcome home my Angel? How was your day?"

"Mumma... it was great... I just want to go back to school... It's just fun at school..."

"ohk... so you don't want to stay with your Mumma, huh? You didn't miss me?" It felt so cute when her Mumma acted to be upset. The little girl hugged her Mumma so tight and gave a loud kiss on her cheeks. "Aww... Mumma I missed you too..."

"What's it Little Eyes?" Naina was shaken back to the reality with Mrs. John's voice. "Oh nothing. It's just..."

"Please don't lie to me. There is something in your eyes. And no you can't rub it off. It's something deep... like sadness...Like you are missing something"

"Ummm, it's nothing. It's just..." she sighed and stopped for a while. "I just miss my Mumma."

"oh... it's ok to miss someone my dear. Even I too miss some people at times like..." She tries to think of some names. Naina knew it will be difficult for her to try to remember anything. "Well... I just miss them... what's there in names, right? I just miss them." She gave an unsure smile to Naina.

Naina gently pressed her palm assuring everything would be fine. She passed the leaf to Mrs. John who kept on looking at it for a while. "The fall is almost over Naina... It's soon going to be the start of winter. Do you like winter?"

"I love winter. All white and cold. I always wished to make a snowman. What about you?"

"I love the fall, Little Eyes. Just like this leaf. See, it's almost dead. It has fallen down. Still, see its color. No fallen leaf is like the other. Every another leaf that stays on the trees will have to fall down one day. And why should one just fall down as such? Why not leave with a style?"

Naina didn't have a reply. The elder one had said a life statement. Even in the counted last days, she wants to leave an impression. And what have she done till now?

When her Mumma passed away a year back, she had stopped everything around her. The once full-of-life book store that was owned by her Mumma was now in the verge of shut down. For the past one year, she had stepped in three or four time. Thanks to James, her Mumma's best friend, it was still open. She felt the book store so empty without her. She couldn't breathe inside that store that was once her sanctuary. The Naina who used to love to burry herself behind the books, was missing. It took more than four months for James and his family to persuade Naina to step out of her home. And once she stepped out, she could hardly breathe again. She felt like a fish taken out of a filled glass bowl. After a lot of talks she agreed to work in an old age home as a day caretaker of the inmates.

"You look lost again Little Eyes. And you don't seem to be too old to be lost."

Again Mrs. John took her by surprise. She looked at the leaf again before turning back to Naina. "Whatever it is, try to move ahead Naina. Else by the time you wake up, you will be in a wheelchair like this and maybe a girl called Big Eyes will be beside you." Her wrinkles smoothed when she laughed at her own jokes.

Soon the day passed to noon as they talked and laughed, at times on the popping jokes and at times on the statements that had a deeper meaning within. Soon Angela joined them and the smiling Mrs. John disappeared. "Here comes the Cruela. I am not sure who named her Angela. She loves to pull my gowns wherever she feels so. She makes me eat and acts as if she owns me."

"Oh that's so cruel." Naina acted surprised and winked at Angela. Mrs. John was speaking as if Angela couldn't hear her. "And did I tell you that I don't like you?"

"Of course Mrs. John." Angela said as she wheeled her into the room. Mrs. John insisted that Naina should feed her as she didn't want Cruela anywhere closer. Naina agreed and fed her with porridge and then the tablets. "Read me a book Little Eyes" And Naina took a book that she loved to hear. It had poems on the seasons. The verses where lovely. But somewhere close to the end, Naina was stopped by a hand. She looked up to the elder lady who was about to get sleepy.

"Little Eyes... your Mumma miss you too. And do you know why? It's because she can't see her girl anymore. You are her shadow. Come out to the light, and be her girl again." She paused to look at her side table and tried to reach the leaf on the side table. Naina helped her to get that leaf. "Remember Little Eyes, this fallen leaf may be a dead leaf, but when this one was outside, it was an autumn leaf. It had a glow on it. It was shining out in the sun. It was taking your breath away when you saw it. Go out... live again. You are no Mrs. John to pass this day. Live again. It's not just another day always..."

Naina could see her eyes getting droopy. She smiled at Naina. "Goodnight. Will you come tomorrow?"

"Yes I will. Goodnight Mrs. John."

She stayed till the elder lady slept and beyond that. She could still feel the words around her. For a moment she felt it was like her Mumma talking to her. She slowly grabbed her bag and walked out remembering those words. The leaf that was in her hand felt heavy. She let it fall onto the other leaves. When it hit the ground, she saw it glittering back in the sunshine.

She walked away slowly. She took a bus mechanically. She walked again. Soon she was infront of her bookstore again. She was feeling different. After a long time the store felt as her home again.

James was surprised as he saw Naina walking in. Jenny, his wife stopped him from going to her as Naina walked past them to the inner racks of books. She let her fingers glide through the rows of bound books. The smell of new bound books was haunting from the past. She entered a small cabin that used to be her Mumma's. The simple leather chair behind the desk was empty. But today she didn't feel it hollow. There was something different in the air. She sat facing the chair for a while. After sometime she felt a palm on her shoulder. It was James with Jenny.

"You ok Naina?"

"Actually, I am feeling fine; James. After a long time, I am feeling good."

"That's great Naina. Your Mumma will be peaceful now."

"I know that I took a lot of time. But now I will try to make it up. I will come back to the store every afternoon. Let's bring back the book store to its previous state. Mumma won't like it this way now. Isn't it?"

"Exactly my dear. And don't worry. We will do it together."

She smiled confidently this time. Jenny was too pleased. "So that means you will join us for the thanksgiving? Please Naina, after all, we are family."

It used to be an occasion for get-together when she was alive and this time Naina was not looking forward to it. But now she was ok with it. "of course, I will be there."

Jenny squealed in joy and gave her bear hug. Soon all three were back to their self as it used to be.

Next day morning Naina walked the same route and reached at Mrs. John's door. She knocked and Angela welcomed her in. Mrs. John was back in her grumpy state. "Did I tell you that I don't like you?"

"Of course Mrs. John. Ok I will leave you with her."

Naina walked in to the room placing the bag on the side table. "Good Morning Mrs. John."

"Morning. But do I know you?"

Naina smiled at her. For the past five months and twenty-seven days, their day started with the same question as Mrs. John didn't have the liberty to remember. For all these months, Naina and she had a new day. But yesterday was very different. It changed Naina's life forever. This fall was special for her.

Naina smiled at the old lady. "Sorry, Let me introduce myself. I am Naina. And today we will have some fun."

[Graphic Partner: .SmokeySilence.]

Before I Sleep

"Sarah, sit still, sweetheart," said Aniksha, as she deftly braided her daughter's hair. "You'll be perfectly in time for school." The four year old huffed. "Mummy, I'm going to be late!" "Of course not," said her mother, still smiling as she finished doing Sarah's hair. "How could you be late? It's your birthday, after all." "I know!" said the child happily. She skipped down the stairs, bag in hand, as Aniksha followed her, sending a smile to her in laws, who were having tea. "Bye, Grandma! Bye, Grandad!" Her grandparents smiled back, but they turned concerned eyes towards Aniksha, whose smile got even brighter. "Bye, guys," she said smoothly. "See you!" She followed her daughter out and helped her put the bag in the car.. "I want to do the seatbelt myself," Sarah announced. "I'm a big girl now." Aniksha smiled, let her daughter do the seatbelt wrong, then gently put it on herself. She listened to her daughter's chatter on the way. Her daughter was her life, even if Sarah didn't know it. Aniksha had dropped Sarah off to her class and was about to go , when her daughter caught her hand. "Mummy? Do you think Daddy could come today?" Aniksha's smile faltered, but only for a second. "Even if Daddy can't make it, you know he'll still see you, right?" Sarah nodded. "Of course." At the wheel now, Aniksha made no efforts to stop the tears she had been holding back all morning.Her vision blurred, but she didn't care if she had an accident, not right then. Thankfully- or unluckily- the road was clear, and Aniksha finally stopped at a church. The autumn leaves crunched under her feet as she made her way to the grave, and laid down the bouquet she'd brought. Kneeling down on the cold ground, she traced her fingers over the words etched onto cold marble.

The tears came harder now. Because Aniksha Mendes had lost her husband in an unfortunate car accident twelve months ago...on the same day of their daughter's third birthday. The body had been so badly mangled that she'd hardly identified it.

She began talking then, to the slightly chilly winds that were characteristic of the start of winter.. The graveyard was deserted and silent. There were no birds around on any of the trees, which had begun to shed their leaves. "I miss you, Advik. Funny how it's been a year, isn't it? Because it doesn't seem a year to me. Does it feel like a year to you?" She brushed off a few yellowed leaves from the top of the grave. "Sarah's better now. She believes you'll be back some day. But you won't, will you? Will you?" She swiped her tears away with the sleeve of her coat. "God, but I love you, Advik. I can't stop. Please tell me you're okay. Something. Anything. Your mother sees you in her dreams all the time. Why won't you come in mine?" She choked on sobs as she continued to talk, in that soft voice. Advik had loved her voice.

When he'd asked her out on a date ayear later, he'd told her he'd fallen in love with her since the first time they'd talked. Half the college had been jealous of her when they'd made it official. Not because Advik belonged to one of the most influential families of the city, but also because it was obvious to everyone that he was serious about Aniksha. And without even realizing it, Aniksha had fallen in love with him, this man with the brutal honestly and the ability to make her laugh at the drop of a hat; the person who'd held her when she'd been at her most vulnerable, when her ailing mother had died, and she'd been orphaned. It had been the day he'd asked her to marry him. Not because her mother had passed, but because he didn't want her shutting herself from him.

Back at the house, Aniksha threw herself into work : making the preparations for Sarah's birthday party. In the evening, she kept up a constant stream of snacks and games with the twenty-odd children - Sarah and her friends, then clearing up after they'd left. So when she went to sleep at night, she was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost at once. But suddenly, she woke up. She sat up and blinked, trying to understand what it was that had woken her up. She glanced as Sarah, who was sleeping soundly beside her. And then she heard his voice in the darkness. "Ani?" Advik. The voice was low and hoarse, but he was the only one who called her that. She almost called out his name before remembering that no, Advik was dead, and he'd never call her again. "Who's there?" she said, voice quivering. She groped for her phone and switched it on, letting the light from the screen dimly illuminate the doorway, where a figure stood. Heart beating fast, she jumped out of bed. "Who is it?" She said sharply. The figure moved a step closer. "It's me. Advik."

"No," she said. "No. Advik is dead. Who are you?" But as she moved forward, she could see his face clearly. And this man had Advik's face. He was dressed in a dark tux, with a white shirt and tie. She'd helped him wear that, the day he'd died... "I'm sorry, Ani," said the man quietly. "I'm so sorry." Aniksha steeled herself. "I don't believe in ghosts, you know. So you can leave, with whatever scam you're pulling-" "Do you want me to go?" he said sadly. "I will leave at once if you want me to. I only came because I thought...I thought, maybe you still missed me, too..." An unknown terror gripped her. "You're dead. Aren't you?" "I'm not a ghost," he told her. "Yes, I have been dead...till now. You make me come alive." And because she was an idiot who didn't believe him, she reached out to touch him...and felt solid skin and bone beneath the clothes he was wearing. Advik had gone very still, his eyes closed, and she was reminded, absurdly, of a child dancing in the rain after years of drought... It was him. She knew it now, by some instinct, that it was him. "Oh, God," she whispered. "Oh, God, Advik- you're alive." His eyes flew open, and he - almost hesitantly- drew her to him. "Ani," he whispered, stroking her hair as though she was a porcelain doll. "My Ani.I missed you so much..." At that, she raised her head. "Why didn't you come?" she whispered. "Why didn't you tell us you were alive? Why did you take so long, Advik?" "I was too weak," he said, in a voice of shame. "And I was afraid of hurting you...hurting Sarah...I see her go to to school, every day. And I see you too, but you seemed happy." "I had to be," she whispered.

"Sarah needs me, Advik- she needs us. Come back to us. Stay. Whatever it is- don't go. Please. I love you." "I love you, too," he said quietly. "But I can't- mustn't stay, no matter how much I want to. I can stay the night, and that is all." Aniksha stared at him. "Advik, what is wrong?" She said, looking scared. "Is someone threatening you?" He smiled then, a little sadly. "No. Go to sleep, Ani.You need it." "But I want to talk..." She trailed off, her eyelids drooping. She was vaguely conscious of Advik lifting her on to the bed, then covering her. She felt his hand cover hers, and sleep claimed her again.

A dream. She had to have been dreaming. How else would she have seen Advik? He had gone by the time she woke up. As though he had never been there. She told herself it had all been a dream, but it didn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach. If it had been a dream, it had been a strikingly lucid one. There was no other alternative- ghosts did not exist. Even so, as the day progressed, she found herself often turning her head, wondering if she was being watched, even as she passed the church, with the woods behind. She had actually stopped the car and got out once. But there was nothing, except the wind and falling leaves.

But he came again, in the night. This time, it was the touch of his hand on her forehead that woke her. Her eyes flew open, knowing even as she scrambled to switch on the bedside lamp that it was Advik, and so he was, kneeling down beside her bed. For a long time, neither of them spoke. She was busy staring at his face, checking for differences or signs of fakery. But he was just the same. She touched his face. "I can't believe you're real." He mimicked her action, sliding his fingers down her cheek, making her blush. "Sometimes, I don't know if I am." "Why did you leave?" "I can't stay," he said, looking anguished. "Ani, you can't tell anyone about this...I can't meet them. And they'll think you're crazy." "Sarah-" "She deserves better," he said softly. "Better than me. So do you. Promise me you'll move on, Ani- promise me you'll find someone good enough-" She was shaking her head before he'd finished. "No. I'd rather have this, with you. Whatever you can give me." He looked torn, even as he kissed her, gently. "I love you," he murmured. "I wish I could give you more. Stay forever with you. I promised to keep you happy forever..and now, I'm giving you more sadness. I can't stay away from you, not anymore, no matter how it hurts-" "It pains you to be with me?" "Too much so." He looked into her eyes, and she saw he looked pale and haggard. "But I will come to you as long as you want me to."

"Then," she said,"I want you to keep coming to me."

He said nothing, simply brushing his lips over her forehead. He'd always been gentle with her, even when he'd been- "Why did it happen?" she whispered. "The accident?" His face was bleak. "I was driving too fast. I was late for Sarah's party..." She didn't want to know if he was a ghost or the figment of her imagination, or real.So she didn't ask how he'd survived. Whose body it was that she'd identified. "Go to sleep," he murmured. "I'll be here for a while." But not when she woke up, she realised. As she drifted off, she murmured, "Please come back...for however long you can...please stay..." There was no reply.

Yes, Aniksha was happier. Her friends and her in laws had noticed, and they spoke about it with each other. But Aniksha herself didn't realise it till one day, two weeks later, her mother in law took her aside to ask if she had met someone nice. Baffled, it had taken her a full minute to understand the question, whereupon she had shook her head vehemently, refuting the idea. But this gave Mrs Mendes the idea that Aniksha had now stepped out of mourning and therefore should be introduced to new people.

Mrs.Mendes urged her to at least go out with a few people. While she appreciated the sentiment, it sent her into knots. How could she tell Advik's mother that Advik met her every night? She would think Aniksha was insane. She herself had thought that she was .Didn't some people have split personalities? But Advik seemed real to her. The touch of his skin, the brush of his lips, the smell...everything felt real. Advik could not be dead. She'd seen the stark fear in his eyes every time she'd tried to ask him how he'd survived. Who'd saved him. Where he was living now. Several times, he'd told her that it hurt him to meet her. And that was the reason he didn't want to reveal himself to Sarah, or his parents. And every night, he'd ask if she wanted him to leave. Every night, she said no. But two weeks had passed, and Aniksha was already starting to feel what she had known she would- that just having Advik for a few hours were not enough, would never be. That night, she coerced him to lie down beside her as she talked about Sarah. Advik listened, lying quite still. He was always motionless when she spoke of their daughter, but she knew it was not because he didn't care- it was the opposite, because she had seen the naked pain in his eyes. Real pain, that he was missing out on Sarah. And not for the first time, she wondered if she ought to let him free. What good was it doing for both of them, this half life? But she couldn't - because she knew that if she did, he would never come to her again.

As the days passed, his mother kept setting her up with people. After a month of outright refusals, she finally agreed to met Rahul Sengupta, an NRI who worked in the States. She decided she'd jilt him after the date and prove to her mother in law that no, she was not interested and would never be in acquiring a husband. On the night of the date, she went to an open air restaurant with him. Contrary to her expectations, Rahul was not a bore. He was in fact quite funny, and he kept her laughing with his jokes. But he wasn't Advik. Every time she looked up at him, her heart panged as it realised it wasn't Advik. But it was when they were leaving, and Rahul had offered his coat for her to wear, when she got the strange feeling that she was being watched. As she turned, she saw him in the darkness, clearly silhouetted against the light of the darkness. She blinked, and he was gone, as though he had never been there. But still the back of her neck prickled. "What is it?" said Rahul. She forced herself to smile. "Nothing. I just thought I saw someone." The prickling on the back of her neck did not leave her, and she just knew that Advik was there. Watching her for God knows how long. What would he think? That night, it was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if he'd seen them, but he didn't let her. Advik didn't seem to be in the mood for talking.

He disrobed her entirely and worshipped her, body and soul, whispering again and again that he loved her, as Aniksha's heart broke. She could not speak, even as she clung to him, could not tell him anything besides the fact that she loved him, too. She would have stayed awake the entire night in the hopes that she might have been able to explain it all to him, but strangely, she found her eyelids drooping. She fought the strange sleepiness, but it was a losing battle, and she was defeated in a few minutes. When she awoke -a few minutes or a few hours later,she was not sure- he was gone. The moon still sparkled, bathing the room with the faint light, but he was gone. Gone before morning, which meant that he was gone now...lost forever. Something burst inside her. The desire to see if Advik was real. The impulse to hunt him down, scream at him and force him to come back. Perhaps it was insanity, but Aniksha dressed quickly, tied back her hair and made her way out of her house in the dead of night, at three o'clock. She drove down to the cemetery, fully intending to scream his name , over and over again till he replied. Till he came back to her. But then she heard it. A rustle of leaves, then a squeak. In the direction of the woods. She stopped dead. Was it possible, that he was here after all? Making as little noise as she could, she went in the direction of the sound. She didn't have to go far. On the ground, a few metres away from where the cemetery ended, a man was kneeling, bent over the body of a large animal. A bear? She climbed over the stile and tried to make her way to him,intending to ask if he'd seen Advik- but she tripped. She fell, sprawling in the cold ground, as he slowly looked up at her, and her blood chilled. No, there was no possibility of a mistake. The moonlight was bright here, and she could see it clearly : Advik, half kneeling, half standing, with eyes that glowed like burning coals, and large canines that were protruding out from his lips. Blood dribbled down his chin, staining that white shirt. She screamed. Within a second, he was next to her. Her eyes grew wide and her scream died out as she felt those large canines pierce her neck, drain her of blood.

She began to feel peaceful, otherwordly. As if she was floating in a dream world. Dimly, she knew she was dying. But it didn't matter. She was dying in his arms. Even if he was a monstrous creature now. "Advik..." she whispered, as her vision began to dim. It was that voice, weak and faint, which suddenly hit his brain. Advik let go of her, watching with dawning horror as she hit the ground, her eyes closed. "No..." He knelt down beside her and took her in his arms.

"No!"

Aniksha's eyes fluttered open, even as her body began to turn cold. "I love you, Advik." And then her eyes closed, and Advik held her in his arms as the last of her body heat dissipated away, as his had done...when he'd fallen off that cliff in his car.

The date was September 21^st, this date held a lot of importance to anyone who was going back to school. It was the day when all the children would feel nervous, excited or just happy to be at school again and start the term afresh with friends. On this day at 7 O'clock in the morning, Sunaina stood with a hot cup of coffee, preparing herself for the first day of school. She still had some time left before the mayhem would begin, so took this as the perfect opportunity for herself to take her coffee and sit outside on her porch. She couldn't believe her eyes. She thought her brain was playing some kind of trick as she looked at the view of her neighborhood. She thought it looked like some beautiful oil painting, the kind she could stare at all day without being bored. There was a cool breeze that found its way onto Sunaina's skin and she immediately pulled her hands near her body and at that moment she knew that it was no painting but in fact this was reality. It finally was autumn! She considered autumn as the favorite time of the year and she loved the view from her porch. She looked at the ground and found dry yellow-orange leaves everywhere. She stepped on some leaves and the sound of the leaves crunching was like melody to her ears. Everything looked and felt stunning to her and for her autumn symbolized new beginnings. It's the time when the new school term begins and there are so many festivities like Halloween and Thanksgiving Day. For her it was the perfect season. She took a sip of her coffee and wished that the time could just stop for a while, she was excited for the new school term but she was also quite nervous because of the new challenges.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a distant sound of laughter becoming louder and louder. She blinked her eyes to focus on her surroundings again and saw three girls walking by in their school uniform with perfectly tied hair and their bags slung carelessly on their shoulders. As they passed by her house, she couldn't help but overhear them. They were expressing happiness on going back to school. Sunaina felt a pang of jealousy deep down as she watched those girls walking to school with so much enthusiasm and this primed her mind for her back to school memories. She could still remember every minute detail of her school life and how she used to panic before going to the new term every single time. A big smile spread on her face as she was thinking about all this after a long time. She remembered everything as if she had just graduated from high school only yesterday. Sunaina recalled how her mother on the first day of school would make her favorite blueberry pancakes with chocolate milk as her mother always believed that after the long holidays only chocolate milk could give her energy to go through the first day without feeling tired. For her, the best part about going back to school was that she could start afresh and just like the autumn for her symbolized new beginnings; for her first day at school meant new experiences, new teachers, some new friends along with the old ones and a brand new attitude to go with the new books. She laughed at the memories of how she used to be so excited to go back to school that she would take her mother along to the mall to get all the supplies needed. One of her favorite back to schoolmemory was of the week before the school started and how she always used to clean her cupboard, arrange her books, and get her uniform dry cleaned. She also recollected the feeling of nervousness as she walked the hallway of her school after several months and that feeling got replaced with excitement on meeting her friends and chatting about one's summer activities.

One back to school memory that she always treasured was the last time she knew she was going back to school that is when she stepped in 12^th grade. She knew this was the last year and she remembered everything about that day including her feeling nostalgic. She used to complain a lot about her studies but she knew from her older sister's experience that school life is that time in a person's life that never comes back. She had seen that her sister hardly kept in touch with her school friends and that she would always talk about her teachers and her sports group whenever she got the opportunity. Sunaina had decided that in the last year, she would enjoy each day and imprint those memories into her mind. She particularly remembered on the first day itself she had signed to volunteer for the drama club, she showed interest for the environmental activities, and also forced her friends to take part because she believed that no matter what she did, if she had her friends, there would be double the fun. Sunaina grinned broadly because what she had wanted to achieve then was very much successful because till today she remembered all those events clearly and just last month she was browsing through the photo album where she collected maximum of school pictures. Every time she looked at those pictures she never stopped feeling sentimental and shed some tears of both happiness and sadness.

Her walk down the memory lane got interrupted by a scream in the house. She looked down at her coffee which had gone cold and sighed knowing very well that the day has officially begun for her. "Mom, get back inside we are getting late," Sunaina's 8 year old daughter, Sama, screamed. Sunaina rushed to her room to calm her daughter who was panicking due to her first day. She entered Sama's room and smiled at how lovely her daughter was looking in the school uniform.

"Sama, you are looking lovely and I don't want you to worry, you have 30 more minutes before the bus comes."

"But Mom I cannot find my shoes and Dhruv is not ready yet".

"Your shoes are outside, near the door and I am going to help your brother now".

Sunaina was smiling ear to ear now; she missed this early morning of rushing around the house to get her kids ready for school. Holidays are great but for some reason she also feels very elated on seeing her kids going back to school and how she can run around with them every morning and meet the tight schedule so that they don't miss their bus.

"Mom, I need your help. Come here fast, I cannot find my socks", Dhruv, her 10 year old son screamed from his room.

Sunaina rushed there and saw what a big mess Dhruv had made and said, "Dhruv, your room is so messy. How will you find your socks? You have to clean your room after you come back from school".

"I will do that mom but I cannot find my socks. My teacher is so strict. I have to wear those socks only that is provided along with the uniform"

Sunaina chuckled, remembering the times she used to hunt for her socks too when she was small and how scared she used to be from her teachers, how she misses those days when wearing the correct shoes and socks were the only big responsibilities she used to face.

Breaking away from her thoughts Sunaina guided Dhruv to the laundry room where he kept his socks the night before so that it could get dry.

She rushed to the kitchen to pack their lunchboxes, and wondered about how times have changed yet how similar they are. She is surprised at times that her kids are not very nervous to go back to school as they already know which teachers they are going to get and they met most of their friends during the summer camps. She reminisced about how for her going back to school everything was new she didn't know who her teachers would be and that she hardly used to talk to her friends during the summer.

But one thing hasn't changed at all and her kids remind her of her childhood, of how she also used to be very excited to be at school and how she was flooded with homework and studies. As her kids came down all ready she felt proud looking at them and felt nostalgic about how big they have become. Sama and Dhruv expressed happiness on eating blueberry pancakes at which Sunaina told them that their grandmother started this ritual every first day of the school "Your grandmother used to feed me these pancakes and I ate them happily as if they were my good-luck charms and so I am continuing this ritual with you two also."

Just in time the bus honked and the kids rushed outside as Sunaina waved them goodbye. She couldn't help but feel jealous again only because of the reason that she wanted to be in that bus and be a young child again, she wanted to be a teenager and walk to school with her friends not worrying about the world. But all Sunaina Malik could do was stand on her porch and watch the big yellow bus hurriedly move from one street to the next. She knew she had no time to think about all this because her day also begins from here just like the kids had to go back to school she also has to go back to work. She rushed inside and quickly got ready as she knew her colleague Rachel would be on time to pick her up. One good thing of being a professor in a university was that it also meant a three month long holiday just like the kids.

And right on time she heard a car honk and she walked outside locking behind an empty house that would according to her now rest in peace till the afternoon after the busy morning. She preferred to ride in silence but Rachel was chatting non-stop about the next term's agenda and how they would have to set the assignments for the students. Sunaina smiled at Rachel and told her to relax as it was the first day and this day is meant to be enjoyed both for the professors and the students.

After a short journey they reached their destination and every time Sunaina saw the university she never failed to admire its architecture and it seemed to her that today the building was looking more welcoming than ever. With the clear blue sky as the background and the red-yellow trees around the campus the university was looking very magnificent. She walked towards the entrance and noticed many students walking past her, some excited and some nervous. She smiled and realized that just like her small kids were experiencing their first day back to school, these young adults were also experiencing their first day. As she walked up the stairs to teach her first class she felt excited, she always liked the first day of university. It meant a new beginning for her and the students, of how they would introduce themselves and how she would describe to them that university life is almost similar to school so that they could feel comfortable. She loved teaching psychology especially to the new students because whenever she talked of something new or described something that is very natural to human behavior that each and every individual experiences she loved looking at her student's faces that reflected nothing but eagerness and a certain desire to learn more. That's why she loves taking the first day lecture for the new students because it somehow reminds her of herself in school and college and of how she used to be so excited to gain new knowledge and just learn more and more from her teachers.

After she was done for the day at the university, she went back home with Rachel to be greeted by Sama and Dhruv. As soon as they saw her step inside the house they immediately started telling their first day stories. Sunaina loved this part. She loved hearing the good and bad stories about the first day from her kids.

"Mom, there is new kid in my class he seems to be very mean", Dhruv started.

"Mom, I tried out for the juniors badminton team I think I might get in", Sama said while interrupting Dhruv.

"Kids I want to hear your stories but first tell me if you enjoyed your first day back to school and did the pancakes work their charm"

"Yes"! They both screamed at the same time and hugged Sunaina.

"Good now both of you have to change and I am going to prepare my very special autumn drink".

The kids ran upstairs leaving a mess behind with their shoes thrown near the door and their bags thrown on the sofa. Sunaina sighed but she didn't complain because she loved all this and was missing this for a very long time. With these thoughts going around her mind she set out for the kitchen to prepare her favorite autumn punch, one of the reasons why she loves autumn so much has got to do with this punch. She loves the tangy flavor that the apple-cranberry juice brings to the drink along with ginger ale. She does wonder though who named it the autumn punch maybe it had something to do with the colour - the punch takes a red-orange colour that compliments the autumn leaves.

Just as she put the jar of the drink in the fridge for it to chill, she heard the doorbell ring. She looked at the clock and she knew who it was. Dhruv opened the door and welcomed his aunt and her best friend Tara along with her two sons Tanuj and Meher. As soon as Tara came inside she could smell the aroma from her homemade Butternut Squash and Feta muffins which were her specialty. The kids went out to play and both Sunaina and Tara set the table with the punch and the muffins outside on the porch.

"I knew you would make the punch that's why I brought these muffins"

"Yep and the same way I knew that you would be here just like every year celebrating the first day of school"

Both of them laughed at this and recalled how Tara had started this ritual of spending the first back to school day together so they could talk about old times and hear their kids' stories together.

"Just today morning I was thinking that how I wish I could also go to school again"

"Sunaina, I am just so happy to be here I cannot think of being a teenager again" Tara joked.

They both sipped the punch and ate the muffins where the feta cheese would melt in their mouths with every bite and look at their children playing and recollecting their school memories of how they used to do everything together whether it was sports or studies. Sunaina considered herself very lucky that even after all these years she still was in touch with her friend and they both could enjoy new experiences.

"You know Sunaina we cannot go back to old times again that's now how life works"

"I agree with you but I cannot help feel this way sometimes"

"I understand but we those lucky ones that are experiencing those back to school events again with our kids"

Sunaina knew her friend was right and she knew it that she would not have it any other way, she was happy being a mother, a wife, a friend, and a professor. The cool breeze started doing its round again and with the breeze hitting her face she felt more rejuvenated and thought to herself that this was yet another new beginning and just like the autumn symbolized the start of the end this first day of school was the start and the end would also be near. Sunaina Malik wanted to turn the clock around and wanted to experience her back to school times once again but all she could do is treasure the memories and make new ones with her kids and experience back to school again as a mother instead of a student.

~ The End ~

[Graphic Partner: .Tanya.]

What my heart desires

She was drowning; the waves of sadness and remorse that engulfed her was truly overwhelming to her. It crushed her spirit, and what made it even worse was the helplessness. There was nothing that she could do to make the pain go away, the pain she herself had brought into their lives - or rather, into his and her lives...

****

The doorbell ring was deafening...

"Am coming...no need to press down the doorbell."

Isha skipped down the stairs and pulled open the door..."Aaa..."

So startled was she at the sight in front her that she stumbled backwards with a scream...and it took her a moment to find her bearings...

Aryan found her reaction so hilarious that he started laughing at her, clutching his stomach. Isha was now embarrassed and angry. She started pulling his hair and punching him.

"Awww...Isha...stop it...you are spoiling my costume...stop it."Isha wasn't ready to listen...

"Costume...?..You look like a freak. What is with all this meat part thinghy hanging out...ewww..."

By now she was panting from the struggle with Aryan and he had jumped to safety behind her couch.

"Oh! How I wish I had taken a video of your reaction..."

"Aryan...." Isha started moving towards him...

"Hey! Stop right there. Peace. No video. OK? Now calm down."

"Aryan! What the heck are you wearing?"

"What..?...this is my costume - for tomorrow night's University Halloween ball...I was just doing a dry run. From your reaction, I think this one's going to be a super hit."

"Costume...? And this? You look like a freak show. And why is this thing reaching only your knees. Did the butcher run out of meat - for full trousers?"

"Isha. Don't tell me you don't recognize this...it is THE meat dress...worn by Lady gaga...of course, how would you know? Your pop icon is John Lennon and your favorite band is Fleetwood Mac."

"Well...that's cos their music is timeless...and soulful. Not like the electronic junk that is sold as songs today."

Aryan just stuck his tongue out and headed into the kitchen. Isha usually had some yummy Caesar salad and that's what his target was.

"Isha...where is the salad...?"

"I did not get time to cook today...I just finished prepping for my seminar...how about we go out and grab a bite...."

"OK. But I can't walk into Pizza'n'Pasta like this. We'll drive back to my place, I will change and then we'll go from there."

"Yeah right. Otherwise people there might use the meat from this horrible costume as topping."

"Haha, very funny...now quit wasting time and come..."

"Why hurry? It's only 7 pm...Goooddd..."

Isha sat looking out of the window as Aryan drove through the roads strewn with autumn leaves. She let her gaze take in all the Halloween decorations in the houses they passed by, the jack-o-lanterns glowing in the darkness of the fall night.

*****

Isha was brought out of her reminiscing by loud honking...she had almost stepped out of the sidewalk. Quickly regaining her composure, she sighed. Halloween this year was long gone; without Aryan and his creepy costumes, without his laughs and his silliness that had once irritated her to the core and cheered her up like no one else could. Gone were those days, gone was his presence in her life.

She found tears starting to form in her eyes, they couldn't be stopped and sobs were starting to rise up from deep within her throat. She sat down on one of the benches, idly gazing at the traffic. A young couple walked hand in hand on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road. They reached the door step of the house right across from where she was sitting and stood there for a while. The girl was indicating towards the door, maybe it was time for her to go in. The guy nodded his head and moved backwards, but at the last minute the girl pulled him back and gave a quick peck on the cheek.

Clearly their first kiss, Isha discerned that from the way the girl stood there for a moment bowing her head in shyness. The girl climbed the few steps to the door in a hurry and disappeared inside. And the guy smiled and he too walked away, playfully dribbling away a soda can.

First kiss. Her lips curved into a ghost of a smile. She too had been shy. In fact, she remembered every little detail of it. It was on Thanksgiving Day, last year.

*****

She had thought of spending it alone at her place, at the house share she had rented for her University studies. Her housemates had left to spend the holidays with their families. But Isha did not have anywhere to go. It was her first Thanksgiving. Her immediate family, or what was left of it, was back in India - her uncle and his family. She had lost her parents at a young age and if not for her academic prowess, she would have had to live an ordinary life; one that did not involve a scholarship to a reputed U.S university.

Aryan had invited Isha and some other friends for dinner at his house. He had everything that she ever wished for - a loving mother, a doting dad, and a pestering yet cute younger sister. And they did not just have a house, they had a home that was filled with warmth and love. She had thoroughly enjoyed that weekend. The dinner had been sumptuous and when she had tasted the turkey, it had felt like instant nirvana. Aryan's mom was an awesome cook.

As everyone settled in for the night, Isha and Aryan stood at the patio, sipping red wine.

"Thanks Aryan. Thank you so much. I...I really enjoyed this weekend."

"Anytime Isha...by the way, just a thank you...? Nothing more...?"

He let the question hang and moved a little closer to her, sliding his hands over the banister of the patio.

Isha looked at him wide-eyed. She knew what he was hinting at, in fact it was him who had put a small wrench in her enjoying the evening to the fullest; his glances, the way his eyes had swept over her again and again, taking in her pretty floral dress clad form - she had noticed all of those. Earlier at the dinner, when he requested her to pass the broccoli gravy, she was sure that the finger grazing that followed was not fully accidental.

She lowered her eyes and kept her eyes fixed on the small locket that hung around Aryan's neck...his parents' initials.

"Look at me."

Aryan tipped her face up with a finger below her chin...she glanced into his warm brown eyes, the light reflected from the red wine giving it an altogether deeper shade. Or was it just the light? Before she could zero in on the answer, Aryan had bridged the distance between them. And then fireworks exploded in her heart, like the ones she had seen on the Fourth of July...bright and colorful. She was taken in by it, the colors swirled around and engulfed her. It was like magic and Aryan was the one doing this to her. It seemed all that he wanted to emote was displayed in that one gesture - care, affection, tenderness... and love...??

Isha's train of thoughts came to a halt. Aryan sensed the slight pause and he stepped back.

As he turned to go back to his room, Isha grabbed his arm while her eyes were trained on the banister, not having the courage to meet his. Aryan looked at her standing with her head bowed...his Isha. Before she took another breath, he had taken her in a bear hug, spreading warmth that reached right through to her soul... covering her from the slight chill that had spread through the night air.

****

The warmth was gone. It was the start of winter and there was no one by her side as the darkness had started to deepen. Dusk had given way to night. Isha made her way to the nearby park, treading along the narrow cobblestone path sprinkled with a light snow shower. The maple leaves of autumn were beginning to get mushy after mixing with the snow.

Maple leaves - Aryan always adored them. Isha used to pull his leg saying he must've been born in Canada and not in the U.S and he used to laugh it off. For their first and last Christmas together as a couple, Isha had bought him a sweater with a maple leaf motif on the chest. He had loved it and she remembered the way his eyes had shone as he had tried it on.

But a few days later - after a friendship that had lasted over two years and a courtship only four months along, Aryan had got an internship opportunity in the West Coast. Isha had urged him to take it up, but Aryan was reluctant...he did not want to leave her alone. Their discussions slowly turned into a mild disagreement and then into a full blown argument. Isha had accused him of being short sighted. She had hated the thought that he would let go of the golden opportunity just to be with her and Aryan had accused her of trying to deliberately create distance between them. Finally, with neither giving up, they parted that night.

As Isha continued with the internship at a company nearby the university, Aryan had gone off to West Coast without even saying goodbye. She got to know from some friends that he did visit his home every couple of months. But that's all she knew...he had not called her and every minute they had spent apart was torturous. Aryan was her friend ever since she had started university. In a land where she knew not a soul, he was a true friend and a companion - who shared her dreams, aspirations, joys and sorrows. She felt she had not done full justice to their relationship. Maybe she shouldn't have forced him to go. But then, she could never be selfish.

She had wanted him to go, but in the end, come back to her...take her in his arms...and promise her that their time apart was over...that he was going to be by her side...always. She had wanted him to understand that that was what her heart desired. But it was not meant to be. She had realized that from every moment that had ticked away without his phone call or messages. And now she wanted nothing but to free her heart from the shackles of loss it was bound with...seemingly for eternity.

She tightened the cardigan around her, as if in a desperate attempt to protect herself from the harsh reality of the world. Walking through the park, she turned left to take the shortcut. It was not a well-lit area of the park and her friends had advised against it. But she always took it on her way back from the internship. And today was the last day of it. Aryan too would have finished his internship by now. Sighing, she stepped onto the soft grass. That's when her gaze fell on small lights, blinking like fireflies in the darkness. Her eyebrows furrowed as she had never earlier seen fireflies in the park.

As she walked closer, she realized what those lights really were...candles...tea lights, her favorites.

And it seemed that they spelled out something. She moved in closer to discern what it was.

She was startled by a familiar voice and a strumming of a guitar...

"I don't wanna know the reasons why

Love keeps right on walking down that line

I don't wanna stand between you and love

Honey, I just want you to feel fine

Finally baby

The truth has come down now

Take a listen to your spirit

It's crying out loud

Try to believe

Oh you say you love me but you don't know

You got me rocking and a-reeling

Oh, oh, yeah, ah, ah, ah

I don't wanna know the reasons why

Love keeps right on walking down that line

I don't wanna stand between you and love

Honey, I just want you to feel fine"

"So...do you like it...? Oh wait...You haven't read it fully yet, have you..?."

Her gaze moved from his face to the candles...numerous ones lit up to convey something. She finally read what they formed...

Sorry

Aryan had done it. For her...

Her heart was now ruling over her body and the rainbow of emotions - hope, anguish, relief, euphoria, all evoked by his deep yet playful voice and the sweet gesture, manifested in the form of tears. They wet her cheeks and ran down her face...

"Aryan..." She whispered...and Aryan took the first step in eliminating the distance that had come to be between them - both physical and emotional. He took firm long strides towards her and took her in his arms, just like old times.

This is where he belonged...and this is where she belonged too. He was an idiot not to realize how unselfish she had been. She must've suffered too. How cruel of him to not have contacted her even once. It had taken him a while to realize his mistake, and even longer to come up with a way to apologize. The die-hard old school romantic that she was, he knew it would take a simple yet genuinely heartfelt gesture for her to realize how sorry he truly was.

Isha was sobbing as Aryan patted her back, soothing her, assuring her that he will be by her side always...and Isha finally felt content. She clung to him, hugging him back tight.

"It's OK Isha. Everything will be alright. I am back and I promise that we will always be together. I missed you so much..I will never ever do this leave you alone...I love you Isha..."

"I...I love you too...Aryan.."

As Aryan sensed her tears subsiding, he decided to get out of the freezing park...

"Hush...no more tears...Now come on, let's just get out of this place and grab dinner."

"Aryan...it's not even 8..."

"Yeah. But I had skipped lunch today...cos of all the nervousness and the excitement."

"You...and nervous? I don't believe it..."

"What...I had to learn this song lyrics...damn Fleetwood Mac...your favorite artist should've been Justin Bieber...I could just say Baby Baby...like 10 times...and song done."

Isha giggled..."Thanks Aryan...I know you don't really like my kinda music, but this song is one of my favorites. And now I guess it will be my most favorite...cos, you sang it to me."

Aryan just stood there with a smirk, happy and a little proud too that he was able to bring a smile on his beloved's face.

"OK. Let's go. But before that, need to blow out these tea lights and take them with us. I don't think the authorities would want the whole park burnt down by morning. Come..."

Isha carried some tea lights and Aryan carried the rest along with the guitar case slung over his shoulder.

"By the way, mom has asked me to bring you along for Thanksgiving..."

Isha looked at Aryan questioningly.

"I think she knows", Aryan confirmed.

"So...what to do you think? Should I come?" Isha's eyes locked with his, expectantly.

"Oh well...up to you...", Aryan said cheekily and started sprinting away...

"You...stop right there...." Isha chased him and caught up with him at her doorstep.

Aryan put down the things in his hands and held her by the shoulders. Gazing into her eyes, he said...

"I want you to come...because I want to make it as memorable as last year...its my favorite Thanksgiving tradition..."

He gave her a wink and a smile and then swooped down to take her lips, taking her away into a world where it was just him and her...together...forever...

CREDITS:

Song - I Don't Want To Know by Fleetwood Mac

--

The bright and beautiful colors of the leaves indicated a beginning of a new season. Autumn - her favourite time of the year. Orange and red autumn leaves covered the path leading to the small but neat garden and she sighed in melancholy. There were too many memories attached with this particular season. Good, bad, happiness, and sorrow - the season had captured all the memories. However, one particular memory struck out to her, forcing her to experience the pain all over again.

*Flashback*

"I can't do this anymore."

With that one sentence, his fear came true. He had known it for a while that what he gave her wasn't enough. No commitments, no expression of love. Nothing at all! He had only himself to offer and it wasn't enough. It never was. She was a lady of commitments, loyalty and trust. She gave him everything, without asking for anything in return. Not even reciprocation to her love confession on their first night together. He saw this coming for a while, but he refused to amend the situation.

Having said that, it wasn't that he didn't feel anything for the girl before him. Hell, he loved her. With all his heart and more! It was just that, he couldn't get himself to commit to her. He was scared. Of what? He hadn't yet figured it out. There was something in the back of his mind that hindered him for proclaiming the emotions he felt towards the beautiful lady standing right in front of him.

He looked up and found her eyes concentrating on a wall behind him. Her face beholding a look faraway, awaiting his response on her earlier statement.

"I did say I'd support any decision of yours." It was the most pathetic thing he ever said in their acquaintance of nearly 5 years. And the realisation wasn't far off. Her eyes filled with shine of salty water and his heart wrenched at the sight of the sadness that was her face. She was smiling, of course. There wasn't a day when she didn't smile that effortless smile of hers when she was with him. But the current smile took an effort and it was all so very evident in way she was clenching her jawline to maintain the smile.

"Always glad to know what I meant to you." It wasn't sarcasm and they both were aware of it. It was plain an observation on her part. "I really do love you, Aarav. But your indifference hurts me. I can't take it anymore." She stopped, to control the lump that formed in her throat. Taking few deep breathes, she continued again. "I don't have anything against you. You're a great man and you've made me very happy in the last 5 years. Happiest I've ever been in my life before. But before your indifference can ruin our beautiful memories, I'd like to back off. It's almost selfish but I can't help it this time."

He reached for her hand and she didn't pull away from his touch like he almost expected her to do. Taking that as a cue, he pulled her to himself and locked her in his embrace. "Can I ask something of you for the last time?" She nodded as she rested her head on his shoulder, hiding the shiny water that refused to stay at bay.

"Can you be with me tonight? Please?"

It was a plea.

But she couldn't answer that particular plea.

"I can't." It was perhaps the first time she refused him something and he didn't like the rejection that stabbed in his heart just a little bit more. It was probably for the best. He thought, placating his bruised heart.

"I'll be away from the country for a while. Dad wants me to join him in Florida in November to celebrate thanksgiving with him. I'd like to spend some quality time with him too."

"It'll do you good. You know, getting away for a while."

The small talks were pointless and they both knew it. But it was better than the haunting silence that had grown home between the two. There was never really moment of uncomfortable silence between the two. Sure, he wasn't much of a talker but she fulfilled that role oh-so well in their relationship. This sudden, uncomfortable silence was unusually painful and it hurt just a little bit more.

It was heart wrenching to let go of a five years old relationship but sometimes letting go is the best thing to do. Setting free a relationship often strengthens the bond between two people. The thought took her back to school, where she had memorized this quote for one of her literature assignment.

"I'll miss you." This was the closest to an expression of love Rhea were to receive and her heart filled with warmth at his honest confession. She was glad, it finally came around. A little late perhaps but she couldn't complain.

"I thought about what you said last week, about starting up a small business. I talked to Ali and he was quite eager to join in. I have a meeting in the bank tomorrow." Her eyes twinkled with genuine happiness at his statement, while her lips made a perfect round shape. Selfless, she was but perhaps better off without him.

"You did that? Really? Oh God! I'm so pleased to hear that, Aarav. I'm sure the meeting will go well."

"You sound really surprised!"

"Well.. I am surprised. It's just that you don't usually listen to anyone, so.." She didn't complete the sentence. She didn't need to. As a man, Aarav took great pride in acting on his own rules and teachings. He hadn't listened to anyone right from the childhood, so for him do something like this came as a shock even to himself.

But then he realised. He wanted to be a better person. For her. She didn't deserve a mechanic who worked in a local garage. She was a Business Executive for her father's multinational company.

He was about to respond to her when Ali barged into the room.

"Bhai, I've been waiting for you since two hours now. How long..." Whatever he was about to say was cut off as soon as his gaze met Rhea's. How's that for a perfect timing? Ali let out a profanity under his breathe. The due looked annoyed. Clearly, he has ruined the moment but it was too late to change it.

"Bhabhi, hi. When did you come?" His choice of endearment threw Rhea a bit but she recovered before either of them noticed. It was Ali, after all. He had called Rhea Bhabhi' ever since Aarav introduced her to him. But it had been a while since he had met her and hearing the endearment again caught her off guard.

"I came a while back. I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys had plan." She turned her gaze to Aarav to see him staring right back at her, ignoring the presence of the third person. Possessively, he moved closer to Rhea and lightly touched her back as if claiming her as his.

"We don't have plans, do we? Ali?"

"No, of course not." His voice stuttered against Arnav's hard stare, which didn't go unnoticed by Rhea. She knew she had to go. She was stalling the parting moment as much as she could. But she couldn't do that anymore. It was time for the inevitable.

"Ali, can you give us a minute, please?" All the three people present in the room including herself felt the shakiness in her voice. The lump she tried to conceal so hard couldn't stay at bay. She had to let go.

Ali nodded and left the room quietly, closing the door behind. Maybe, he understood the fragility of the moment.

"Stay in touch, won't you?" She tried to make the lightness of the moment but she couldn't. The tears followed the moment she uttered the words. How was she to let go of him? He was part of her very being.

Aarav let his hand drop from her back and gathered her in his embrace. She fit so perfectly in his arms, like that place was made for her only. He knew there would be no other woman for him. It was either her or no one. Maybe sometimes in the future, he'll be brave enough to confront her with his darkest fears. Maybe she'll understand and perhaps even forgive him for not stopping her. Maybe this was the start of winter for him, start of darkness that he connected with winter. Maybe the darkness will be over soon and the sun will shine again. There were too many maybes in his life. He was a coward for not making things certain but he had made been a while since he made peace with that attribute of his.

He tightened his hold on her and found a deep wetness on his shoulder. He broke apart from the embrace and his heart wrenched with pain at the sight before him. She was crying. Damn! It was all because of him. It was his inability to do anything right in his life. Damn him! It broke his heart bit more to see what his actions had done to her.

He didn't know what to say to her. He was never a man of word. He was a man of action. For him, actions matter for than anything else. So he did the only thing he knew to be right thing to do at this moment.

He kissed her. Not the wild, passionate kisses they shared every time they met. This kiss was gentle, soothing. Almost like a kiss that was preceded by a love confession. Except no love confession was involved in this one.

It was a goodbye kiss.

One that neither of them will be able to forget as long as they lived.

*End of Flashback *

A beautiful sound of laughter, which most certainly belonged to her 2 years old daughter, brought her back to the present. The link to the old memories lost for the moment as she sighed a deep sigh. She reached for the now cold cup of black coffee and shivered as the bitter liquid touched her tongue. Even after all these years, she couldn't get herself to drink the bitter liquid with ease. It was not of her liking, after all. It had been his!

"Mamma, can Hayley and me go and play in the front garden?" The melodious sound of her two year old curved her lips in a sad smile. He'd never know her.

"Sure, sweetheart. But don't be silly."

As she watched the little bundle of joy skipping and running towards the front door, Rhea couldn't help the salty tears that rolled down her cheeks.Someday, she'll be brave enough to face the truth. But for now, she was happy. Contended. Satisfied.

[Graphic Partner: -MyMy-]

Seal It with a Kiss

The early morning sun fell on her face, waking her up. She opened her eyes, shielded them from the sunrays and tilted her head to avoid the direct sun, her hand on her forehead, shuttering her eyes, trying to adjust to the daylight. She woke up to look at the time; 6:59 am. She kept looking at her digital watch.

Blink blink blink

It turned to 7:00 and the alarm rang.

"Time to get up my fair lady" she chuckled to herself.

As she got up and approached the window in her bedroom, moving the curtains to feel the warmth of the morning sun, she saw it; inch by inch; the autumn leaves falling on the ground in her backyard.

Another beautiful day where I collect the leaves' she murmured to herself...

"Sam," she called as she entered the kitchen, "Sam are you there?"

"Sam" she called again

"Here Rosie in the garage" he called out to her.

Rosie, her name, her parents named her after the rose that her dad had used to propose her mother.

What kind of a name is Rosie,' she thought to herself doesn't even look enticing' she kept pondering as she moved to the garage.

There he was, Sam her husband of almost 1 and a half year, 1 year in solitude since they married in India and hence the year of separation wherein they stayed apart waiting for his visa to pull through.

"Sam what are you doing?" she asked seeing him with the electronics, his favorite pastime.

"David uncle brought this to me last night and this is exactly what he said," he arranged his voice trying to mimic David, their neighbor a 65 year old who was living by himself after his wife had died 7 years ago and his children married away into different states.

"Sam my child," Sam continued "this piece of radio is nothing ... nothing but your aunts voice... And it hasn't been singing for the past two weeks... my lovely Maria's voice...can you bring back your aunts voice my child" he said with snicker, "I mean I love him, don't get me wrong Rosie" he added as he saw Rosie making a face of concern "I do but," he said laughing "all he had to do was say to me fix my radio Sam... cut the melodrama" he added "you know what I mean"

She understood exactly what he meant. "Yes Sam" she nodded.

"Hey listen I am going to go and make some cheese omelet, what do you think?" she asked.

"Cheese omelet ... Sounds yum...just like the one you made two days ago..."

Sarcasm' she thought to herself.

"I get it you want me to make you the Chicken that I made on thanksgiving last year when you were still not here...I get it"

He smirked.

"But you have to wait until thanksgiving na ... That's my specialty only for that time" she smiled back at him...

"Okay then... Cheese omelet it is...that I am eagerly waiting for" he said to her smiled and then got back to his work...

She smiled at him and headed to the kitchen...

Of late this had become her life... not that she was complaining... No not at all... Maybe she had even envisioned this in her fantasies, her dreams... but then was this all that was there to it...

She flipped the omelet... It made a sputtering noise as the other side was being cooked.

"Crisp and ready to serve" she called out to him, as he entered to take his position at the dining table.

This was the best part of the day now. The first bite, he always gave it to her.

She sometimes wondered was this to show his love or to prove his mistrust on her cooking... She laughed to herself in her mind... She believed it was the latter...

Being a Sunday morning the day was spent with grocery shopping.

They were in September but as they entered the stores, she could get the Halloween feel already what with stores displaying witches on brooms, pumpkins and everything spooky. Even Dunkin donuts had started selling their Halloween specials, pumpkin spice donuts and flavored coffees and lattes.

Halloween also meant that the start of winter was approaching soon... She remembered clearly the year before last when she had celebrated white Halloween with her parents, which amalgamated with the start of winter, far too early than it was supposed to begin in December.

"You will love the winter" she said as she picked up some tomatoes and onions to put on the shopping cart. "The only difference is that you would have to be clothed triple or even four times this being your first winter of sorts in the Americas."

"I am all ready to embrace it" he said

She sometimes wondered to herself... Was she really meant for marriage... I mean she could be an average cook for sure... Since she did not as much as enjoy cooking so yes she could be an average cook, her husband would usually do the laundry alternating with her on some days

There was nothing extraordinary in her marriage life. What exactly was she waiting for? Wasn't her husband supposed to be her prince charming?

She looked at him sideways as she was waiting for the light to turn green; he was busy on his phone; videogames and men she thought.

What would their kid learn from him if she ever decided to have one with him? How to beat Mr.X using special solar techniques that you get only by pressing the green button?

The honk of the car behind brought her out of the whimsical horror.

Six months now she was stuck in a job she was not sure she enjoyed much.

She got married, yes married, finally married, but was she enjoying marriage. She remembered the morning. Yes she was. She looked at him sideways. Maybe she wasn't too sure.

As they reached home, they brought the grocery into the house. At least he was courteous to stop his video games and help her move them in...

There were so many things running in her mind that she would wonder if she could explode someday just from keeping everything within her.

She was supposed to share her joys and sorrows with her life partner, wasn't she,' she thought to herself.

What was preventing her? She took one look at him. Maybe he was.

Maybe she was.

At night after dinner, she retired to her room, while he sat in the living room waiting for the news to finish.

She had dreams about him coming and cuddling her right before sleep. But nothing of that happened in practicality. Maybe it was just her, she thought, she also wished to ask him at times, but the fear of rejection never let the words out of her mouth.

An inherent sadness engulfed her.

No, this was not the way to be,' she thought to herself marriage was a commitment that had to be worked upon time and again... then why was he not making the effort...' she continued the thought.

She remembered one of her co-workers words. "It wouldn't matter who took the first step. It would matter as to who made the effort to not lose the relationship."

She decided to give it a shot.

As he came upstairs she sat up in bed

He looked startled to see her awake at that hour...

"I need to know something," she started.

"Umm sure what is it Rosie," he asked.

"Where do we stand with our relationship?"

He looked confused "what do u mean?"

"See this is exactly what I don't like... Whenever I try to make a conversation you put up a question and I don't proceed further, as if you never ever understand a word I say."

He waited for her to continue... she did not.

Instead she said "goodnight" and plopped on her bed.

"What is on your mind Rosie, tell me." He asked.

" Tell me what is on yours Sam, when was the last times we shared our thoughts... and I shouldn't even be asking this... this is supposed to be our honeymoon period... we just started living together six months ago... But I see nothing, no effort on your end to even make an attempt at romancing me, your legal wife. I mean, hey look at me, I walk out of the door, I will make heads turn, and no, I am not trying to say you do that as well but a minute glance with love and adulation? A little bit of compliment.. I mean" she huffed " this is not how it is supposed to be... We are married for Christ's sake... act like my husband... make love to me... kiss me, hold my hand, show me, show the world that I am your wife... oh my god what did I just say" she fumbled...

A smile escaped his lips...

She shut up and did not continue further...

He was dumbfounded

Did not know what to say...

"Geez Rosie... I don't know what to say"

"That's fine good night" she said and turned off the lamp on her side pretending to sleep...

They lay in bed... him being lost for words at her sudden outburst, her for the guilt that she let herself out like that...

As she woke up next morning he was sitting in a chair ahead of her...

She opened her eyes saw him for a brief moment and turned away...

"Rosie wait" he said "you spoke a lot yesterday"

"Which I shouldn't have?" she asked unapologetically

"No Rosie... Infact it showed me the flaws in our relationship... We don't communicate what's internal to us..."

She listened intently...

"let me tell you this... ever since your proposal came my way I have been waiting for you to say yes to me... All these years until we married last year... it was my dream come true..."

"But I am a reality Sam"

"Yes, yes I know... The fact is I love how you conduct yourself with your colleagues, with your friends, the closest circle that you have.. I admire that about you..."

"But there's nothing to admire.. I mean I am at my clumsy best with my friends, even colleagues sometimes"

"But you are always perfect with me... anytime I need something you have the answer... I was under the impression that you being the stronger of us two don't need me... To take care of you"

"Showing love does not mean you consider the person weak"

"Yes, yes I understand where you think from but I have had a totally different approach to this emotion... never felt the need to display it..." she did not interrupt him so he continued... "Until yesterday, when I gave this a lot of thought..."

"So if I had not mentioned anything you would have never felt it necessary to make this talk?"

He sighed "Rosie dear... I could be flawed at many levels...but there was no one to show me the flaw ... No one until now..."

"I am flawed too" she added when he did not continue further...

He smiled at her...

And came closer to her... held her hand, it surprised her... Her first experience of closeness with him...

"Why don't we make a pact today... To help each other with our flaws... so that there would be no one perfect than the two of us..."

She smiled at him "on one condition" she said

"Which would be what Rosie?" he asked.

"If you seal it with a kiss" she said with boldness as well her coyness...

He looked at her, she did not move her gaze away from his...even as he approached her centimeters away from her lips and just as she mentioned he sealed it with a kiss.