Is impotence the end of the world?:Sachin

In many cases society, parents and the wife too are willing to put up with abuse, a cheating or an alcoholic spouse too. Even if the wife wants a divorce she will have quite a few people pleading with her to adjust to the situation and not take the drastic step. But if the man is impotent, he can be a loving, caring and wonderful husband, it doesn't matter. Everyone around the wife is rooting for a divorce.

Why?
Recently, two different people with two different issues came to me. They had one common problem though and that was marriage. One set of parents came with their daughter who was in an abusive marriage. She wanted to leave her marital home, but her parents wanted her to stay on. And the other set had come to know that their son-in-law was impotent.

They wanted to annul the marriage and asked me to issue a certificate of virginity for their daughter as proof. This got me thinking. It looks like marriage boils down to two things — recreation (pleasure) and procreation.

Marriage is the only legalised means to achieve the above-mentioned objectives. This may be the reason why parents make a hue and cry when these two objectives are not fulfilled. While these sentiments are understandable we must realise that with changing times this thinking has become obsolete. Today with the advancement in medical technologies impotence can be managed one way or the other (you can even grow a penis through stem cell technology). Similarly assisted reproductive technologies, which include test tube babies, surrogate motherhood, cloning and stem cell applications, are some of various channels available to beget a child.

Besides medical advances, the present day urban system is such that a whole new generation of youngsters either postpone their pregnancies or do away with pregnancies. DINKs (double income no kids syndrome) seem to rule the roost. With the emergence and surfeit of modern lifestyles like BPOs, web teaching, 24 hour call centres, couples hardly have time even for sex leave alone pregnancy or a child.
Coming to my perspectives that stem from my profession, it is better to have an impotent husband rather than an abusive one. In a marriage where the husband is impotent, a woman can still get her sexual pleasure by using mechanical gadgets like vibrators, c***oral devices and virtual sex.

And again, as mentioned earlier, impotence can be successfully managed. Happiness and contentment in the marriage will prevail because the husband is otherwise considerate. In contrast, in an abusive marriage, even if the husband is a raging stud bull his abusive nature will make life traumatic for the wife. These abusive men have deep-rooted psychological problems and it is often very difficult to manage them.

Here's what celebrities have to say about impotence and whether it merits a divorce:

Marriage is beyond just having children: Sachin Sharma
If her husband is treating her well and giving her everything, it would be wrong on the wife's part to leave him just because he is impotent. There are times when a woman too can't conceive a baby. Marriage is beyond having children. It's about love, commitment, faithfulness and understanding. If the husband has not been open about his problem before marriage then it's entirely the wife's decision on whether she wants to stay or not. Honesty in a marriage is a must.

Partner must be told before marriage: Aroona Iraani

Impotency is not a shame. People can always sympathise with such a character. If you talk about the character Aryan in my show, Vaidehi, he is basically an inhuman person. He doesn't love his wife. Such a person is hated because of his traits. A person must be honest while getting married. If one is not honest before marriage, his partner will feel cheated. Impotence doesn't merit divorce provided honesty, love, care and understanding exist in a relationship. Having children is not the only reason why people get married. Like for example I felt I can't nurture a child. So I never had children. But for some, they are unhappy if they can't have children, in spite of having everything else in life. So the viewpoint varies from person to person.

Impotence isn't a ground for divorce: Khushboo
I don't think impotency is a solid ground for divorce considering the various medical treatments that are available now. Impotency doesn't force a woman to file for a divorce. Of course it's true that she might feel cheated for not having been informed earlier, but it's the secondary problems that are caused due to impotency, which can actually force someone to take this harsh step. Men usually tend to take it as a slight that they are 'incapable'. It hurts their ego and the partner starts behaving irrationally, ill-treats the wife and also harasses her. It's these problems that lead to divorce and not impotency alone.