Measurement! - one shot
New year coming soon. Mrs. Shamsher decided to purchase new clothes for her family for a function she planned to organize.. The winters were harsh to her health. She was down with fever.
Nikhil disliked shopping so he objected. Advait, the obedient son agreed to do the favor on behalf of his mother .
Naaz and Nehmat tagged fufaji and his wife to his village to attend a wedding ceremony on behalf of the family.
Shamsher was busy at the office.
An hour later at a mall
He purchased three shirts and pants for himself, his sibling and his father. Nikhil stated he already had a surprise for his wife.
So , Advait didn't purchase anything for Naaz.
Now it was Nehmat 's turn.
The newly wedded husband went into a huge dilemma.
What is her size.??
Measurement!
Apparently, mrs. Shamsher instructed him to purchase sarees for the ladies
He knew what his mother wore and precisely her size
But Nehmat, his wife . He was totally unaware.
Shall i call her?? He rang her phone but the latter didn't answer. He left a voice message.
Nehmat pls call me back. Urgent!
A polite interruption by a dark middle aged man
"Hello sir, how are u?? Looking for some nice fabric?. Come ,here's my outlet, right at the corner"
He smiled and obeyed, as he walked towards the boutique introduced by the stranger.
It sold varieties of lady's stuff such as shoes, lingeries, salwar kameez, western attires and sarees
The stranger then introduced himself politely, smiling.
"Sir, myself Michael. I am the owner of this store. We have many good choices ".
He nodded and smiled
"Thank u , Michael. U have a fabulous place here"
The stranger interrupted sweetly.
"When i saw u standing there thinking hard, looking nervous na, i already know u searching for ladies clothes only"
He laughed.
"How smart? Apki shadi ho geyi"
The puzzled stranger.
"Sir, I speak English only."
The surprised husband.
"Oh, ok. Sorry. Are u married??"
The excited stranger.
"No sir, but very experienced with ladies choice. Marriage license not required ".
He felt relieved that the man was well versed with the business but confused with the bizarre statement at the end.
"Thank u. I need a saree for my wife."
The man took him to one corner and showed some fabrics.
"Sir these are saree materials from all over India.
U can choose the colours and fabrics."
He selected a pink pastal silk saree.
The owner praised.
"Wow, sir. What a choice."
"Ok , now sir, we move to the blouse section. We need to get the matching blouse."
He frowned. This was what i was afraid of
measurement!.
What shall i do now???
As soon as they reached the section, he pretended to search for a blouse with his fingers literally shivering going through each fabric.
He felt embarrassed. How to tell this guy. I don't know my wife's measurements.
Before he could say anything, the guy interrupted, smiling.
"Looks like u are newly married sir. That's why u are finding it difficult to pick one."
"No problem, i guide u "
He smiled a relief, little realising his nightmare was about to begin.
The owner stated calmly
"Take a deep breath sir, and close ur eyes"
The puzzled husband obeyed
"Ikr ..but why close my eyes ?"
The stranger replied politely.
"Pls close ur eyes first"
He obeyed , feeling a little awkward.
The guy continued.
"Ok now just imagine, ur first night. Try to reminisce those beautiful moments when u touched her, felt her and caressed her. When u played ping pong with her beauty. When she desired for more".
He felt very uncomfortable. It was embarrassing. They never had the first night.
How to tell this guy my marriage is a forced one. I married her out of my will.
Michael eyed him carefully, and spoke gently patting the politician 's shoulder.
"No problem sir, i think u are confused with the size. Follow me, i show u something"
He obeyed, reluctantly feeling awkward again
Seconds later, to his horror, the guy showed a few ladies lingeries.
Oh, No! This is more embarrassing.
The owner spoke excitedly.
"Very simple sir, here we have different sizes.
A for smaller size women. Then followed by B and the rest"
As he spoke he showed a few samples lifting them up in the air . A few female customers giggled while watching them
The upset husband wished for the mother earth to swallow him there and then.
Then a phone call. Phew! He was glad.
Finally, she rang.
It was Nehmat over the phone returning her husband 's call
He spoke nervously.
" Ikr..Nehmat, vo chahiye".
The confused wife
" Kya chahiye?".
The upset husband
God, why is it so difficult to ask her
" Ikr,..vo tumhara vo chahiye".
The still very puzzled wife.
" Kya chahiye?".
The owner took the phone from him and assured he could handle the matter well.
" Madam, good afternoon, myself Michael, owner of a ladies clothes outlet. Ur husband wants to purchase a saree blouse for u but cannot remember the measurement's. Madam, he forgot the size".
She felt like puking. Annoyed to the core
She requested the guy to pass the phone to her husband.
" Sharm nehin ati, measurement puch rehe ho? Peta haina shadi kaise hui hain. Muh uthakar chelegeye kheridne ke liye".
The upset husband.
" Mujhey bhi koi shok nehin hain. Maa ney bola tha. New year party ke liye naye kapde lane ke liye "
The guy took the phone from him
" Madam, ur husband is in shok. First time, buying for wife na. That's why. U no worry madam, i help him, ok. I find right size for u ".
God, this is sooo embarrassing. She thought to herself.
" Hello". His curious voice over the phone.
She shouted furiously.
" Ghar ana, aaj raat ko apko size betati hun".
Line disconnected.
He looked at his phone. Is this woman for real?
Then he texted her
" Arey, mumi ney bola. Isliye puch raha hun".
She replied harshly.
" Jab do hafte sath mein guzare they, toh notice nehin kiya??".
Finally, he lose his patience and texted.
" Kapde pehen ke soti ho. Kuch thodi na dikhai dega!!".
She answered sarcastically
" Toh utar ke soun?? Lafandar!!
Furiously he rang her and she answered instantly waiting to ambush him
" Mein tujhey lafandar dikh raha hun. Aek toh tum dubli meri si ho. Na koi flesh hain. Mujhey thodina interest hoga".
She replied spontaneously.
" Tum toh hatti ke bacche ho. To mujhey bhi interest nehin hain. Shadi sey pehle girlfriend nehin thi?? Us ko phone karke usi ka size lelo".
Malika!! .
Finally he realized. They are almost of the same size. His mother had purchased sarees for her earlier. Maybe he could just text his mother and check Malika's measurements
" Chup kyun ho, lafandar!!."
Her angry voice interrupting his thoughts.
He smirked
" Malika ko phone karke puchta hun. Biwi aur sautan ka size aek hain"
Line disconnected
She texted
" Jake dub maro".
He didn't reply.
Finally he rang his mother and checked about Malika's attire.
Then he passed the details to the owner who was busy attending a business call.
To his surprise, the guy already chosen the right measurement similar to the one his mum provided him
He enquired.
" How u know the right size?".
Michael smiled.
"Very simple sirji. U described ur wife while talking to her just now. I figured out instantly ".
The puzzled husband
" But u said u don't speak Hindi ".
The proud owner.
" I don't speak but i understand sir".
The end
Ps.
Just imagine, advait purchasing for Nehmat 😜