Takes place during the changing room episode. what happens if Tejo actually saw Fateh and Jasmine together? Well, she makes a decision.
A piece of me, shattered
Denial is a defence mechanism.
Tejo Kaur Virk had boarded that express train time and time again to shield herself from the arrow of hurt that threatened to tear her faith in people apart; effectively nullifying that menace. It was a one-way road down a cliff with little to no chance of survival.
But this time was different. It was an impulsive decision that proved to be in her diminishing favour. In the split second that it took the train to trample down the cliff of blind conviction, Tejo jumped. It was a hard landing. The safety of landing on nicely laid leaves had abandoned her senses leaving behind an ad nauseum apocalypse between trust, certainty and untouchable faith.
There they stood, her husband and sister wrapped around each other, looks of contentment cemented in every line and pore of their face. Something inside broke right then and there- the heart. It was agonizingly slow, taking its own sweet time to make sure she suffered every bit of this betrayal. The image mercilessly scraped at the pulsing open wound with sharp claws, infecting it with the lesson she had come to learn- trust no one.
Fingertips moist from the recent shower, he brushed them up her lean arms. A feather-light touch; enough to leave her desiring for more and to make the hair on the back of her neck stand. Yet not enough to satisfy the urge. It’s appetising.
Tejo clawed unforgivingly at her porcelain skin, scratching every inch of it he once left his mark on littering it with angry red scratches. She continued to mug her skin of its beauty in hopes of reliving the utter disdain dripping from it. It took a moment for her to process the rough textured hand that had stopped her from pursuing a self-cleansing crusade. The revulsion crossing her features isn’t lost on him.
Fateh Singh Virk, her beloved husband, held her gaze with his oh so soft brown eyes. “What's wrong with you, tejo ji!”
Seeing no hesitation, he dared to go a step further bringing his finger up to her bareback, caressing the soft skin there. The blush Tejo had at that moment sent a blaze of glory to rip through him starting from the very fingertips he was using. I have an effect on her, he mulled to himself.
Tejo couldn't see the sincerity those oh so soft eyes once possessed. They were filled with the malicious intent of deceit and formality that had evaporated after that night. A speck of pity for her as a result of his heinous actions sparkled in them.
The watch ticked in the quiet night and Tejo felt herself melting at his notions. Before she knew it, they were on the bed surrendering to their hungry desires and taking their marriage a step further. Never had she thought that they would reach this point. Alas, life has a twisted sense of humour.
She tried to be his ‘Guru’ in the phase of adversity. The incantation ‘gu’ meant darkness or poison and ‘Ru’ was an eliminator of darkness.
In the beginning of this previously beautiful relationship, fateh stood at the doors of darkness, ready to submit to its tug. The abyss had an alluring pull towards it because it was a bottomless pit devoid of everything; sadness, pain, suffering and happiness. It was simply, nothing. But it weaved a hypotonic enigma around its hollow shells.
Her family had always thrown her to the front line to clean up their messes. She had sacrificed her dreams for their happiness. She readily got married twice to men who weren't worth the trouble she faced following the demise of her expectations for them. Failure was a hard teacher. Every time expectations from her family came crashing down, she learned bit by bit not to depend on them. So she knows loneliness had a habit of being addictive, it was her habitat for a long time before she met him.
Saving him from the same fate was her priority. She succeeded in bringing him to a utopia he didn't know existed without the presence of jasmine. It was a short-lived period of blissful ignorance in which she proclaimed to have performed her duty as a ‘guru’. The tables have turned only this time; there is no guru to guide me back into the light.
Yet again, her expectation nosedived to the ground, breaking upon the impact of her husband’s infidelity. Maybe she couldn’t expect loyalty from her husband who had been assiduously in love with his former significant other right away. However, after consummating their marriage, she could and did. Neither he nor her best friend had the right to destroy her from the inside out with his act of adultery. That man always had his heart in the right place. He was kind and caring. He-
“Jassu saw you running out of the mall. What happened?”
Jassu.
Jasmine Sandhu was the bane of her existence. She was equally responsible for what happened. How could she do that to me? She is my sister for crying out loud. The sister she wanted nothing but the best for. The person she always stuck her neck out for and put her own reputation on the line for. That very person annihilated my marriage for her own selfishness. Tejo isn't blind to her own faults. Jasmine had always been spoiled by their parents and herself especially. She cursed herself for letting her entitled behaviour reach this point where she couldn't care about anyone but herself.
Tejo had never loathed anyone with this much passion in her entire life than she did right now. The level of emotional involvement was significantly lesser than it was with fateh. They shared blood, the same family, and history. Maybe if she had been more assertive, they wouldn't be standing here today. But still, it wasn't wrong to expect Jasmine to have a moral compass.
The rage bubbled dangerously close to the surface of her composure. As futile an attempt it was; she clung on to the anger, willing herself to settle the tides of fury it released every few seconds.
She looked past him, afraid to witness the unveiling of his treacherous deeds. Staring ahead in no particular direction she asked, “Who am i?”
“What?” Fateh frowned in confusion. He gingerly removed his hold on and kept an appropriate distance between them.
“Answer the questions Fateh,” she demanded calmly.
“It's a stupid question.”
Tejo snapped her eyes to him so abruptly causing Fateh to flinch in surprise. “So are your desperate attempts are hiding your side chick but you don't see me complaining. Not yet,”
Fateh stood, white as a sheet. Those oh so soft eyes wide in panic. The deer caught in headlights of a look was sufficient to confirm her doubt. Another wave of vicious stinging vipers seared through her body and she bit her tongue to catch the grief-stricken scream about to leave her chapped lips.
He tried his best to school the features but failed spectacularly in hiding the nervousness. “I-i don't know what- what you're talking about.” the usually steady voice shook with an amplitude she didn't think was possible.
one.
Every lie was an addition to slash wounds she had received, the cruelty increased as they went on.
Tejo scoffed. “You know exactly what I am talking about Mr Virk. Dont play dumb with me.”
Silence.
“you have not answered my question.” tejo seethed, squinting her eyes a tiny bit.
“T-t-” he stammered, staring at her dumbly.
“Full name.”
“Tejo Kaur,” shame burned in his veins and he lowered his head towards the floor. “virk.” he finished quietly.
The air around them shook with uncertainty. Evey particle vying for dominance as they collided creating an invisible hurricane around them. It was a feverish fight that was willed to jeopardize the safety of the room she had come to love and regarded as her own.
“Did that not occur to you when tongue chumming your ex?” The coolness she had when speaking those words was unsettling.
“I don't know what you're talking about!” her husband clamoured, keeping his vision as he kicked at his feet.
Two.
“Drop the act, Fateh.”
“What act, tejo Ji?” Fateh wrung his hands together choosing an aversion. “Are you okay?”
Three.
Tejo lost the command she had over herself the second the last syllable left his mouth that didn't muster the courage to tell her the truth. “I saw you with the she-devil in that damned changing room!”
Fateh frantically reached for her hands, collapsing them tightly as his oh so soft eyes misstated over. “I am sorry, tejo Ji. I am so sorry. I tried to move on. I really did. But...I couldn't. I still love her.”
Three lies in the past three minutes.
“How long?” was all she said around sobs choking her.
“Two months,” he muttered weakly.
They have been married for three months.
Jerking her hands from his grip, she grasped his collar. The material wheezed in protest at the handling of it. “Then why did you lie and use me! You slept with me despite having feelings for her. How could you, Fateh.”
“Tejo…”
“No, you listen to me! I agree the situation in which we got married wasn't ideal. But just like you, I had no choice but to conform yet again to my family demands. You wanna know why?”
“Tejo ji, let me explain…”
“Because my father had a heart attack. What the hell was I supposed to do?” she screamed, rendering his lips sealed. “I listened to the nonsense you, my best friend, spilled unchecked because I know you were heartbroken. I've been through it with jas. I understood what it feels like.”
“I know that.”
“You dont so don't even try. Then I tried to help you and myself move on. To make our lives worth living, together,” her resolve faltered and her shoulders slumped. The weight of his actions was too much to hold up. “You lied to me about the success of our efforts. You were the one who said, tejo, I am not upset after seeing her return from Mami Ji's house. You were the one who said, Tejo, I need you in my life. You've turned me into a joke, Fateh. You used me for your own sick pleasure!”
He hung his head. “I am sorry Tejo Ji. I am so sorry.”
“That makes two of us. I'll be sending you the divorce papers.” The finality in those words made her shiver at the prospect of a life without him.
Fateh recoiled in alarm. His feet went cold and unexplainable bile scratched his throat. Divorce? “No! tejo Ji, wait, listen to me...”
“Listen to yourself. You are calling me tejo Ji.”
“I,” he left the sentence hanging and the silence between them drew.
It was deafening to the ears no longer able to hear the harsh reality of their relationship that stopped growing after reaching three months of infancy.
Tejo clenched her fist and flung it towards the mirror breaking it, shards logged in her knuckles and she hissed but continued to reign it with punches; wanting to pound the reflection of this naive girl who got blindsided by love out of it. A blood-curdling cry left her echoing on the walls of this hollow mansion. The blood-stained fragments sat on the floor, scared that the next wind would blow them away. Tejo wished they would sweep her off with them. They would lead her to an oblivion so pure that no harm could reach within its proximity.
Fateh watched helplessly as his wife assaulted the furniture. Who was he to stop her after everything?
Once the pain got too much to bear, the brutally stopped. She turned around to face the man she had fallen in love with, heaved a breath and released it shakily. For once in her life, the ethos in her makes a decision. A decision that would, later on, prove to be the best of her life.
“Goodbye, fateh.” With those final parting words, she strode out of the room, the blood drops marking the path she walked towards her new life.
The guilt of losing someone he never fully comprehended the importance of until now came in gruelling waves before slamming with full throttle. Knees giving out, Fateh crumpled to the floor in a heap. As he stared at his reflection in the thousand broken pieces of glass, his conscience finally spoke to him.
You were wrong. You are wrong, Fateh.
“Haaraya. Haaraya. Main tah sab hararya.”
Tejo sauntered out of her- his house with her head held high. For she knew, one day she would look back and quote Sinead O'Connor; now I have a strong, strong heart, thank you. Thank you for breaking my heart because I will live by my own policies, I'll sleep with clear concise and peace that's been missing my whole life.
Underneath it all, there is a piece of her left unreached, her soul. It is still standing tall and strong. It couldn't be more raw, exposed and vulnerable than that. From then on, she would use this part of her to rebuild what was broken and restore what was lost- faith.
A piece of me, shattered
Cricket
