Suraj Rajvanshi... the frozen heart (for Ruby)
Ruby actually I had to rewind myself to get into that mode as my current stage my heart and my mind has synced eversince the Sukjor happened but none theless, I cannot forget my dude's transition
The bedroom scene with Chakor, he reacted with happiness and went into his frozen state again, the question arisen in everyone's mind(I don't find it wrong) that is he happy only that Saanvi is alive? is Sukor about saanvi?
I keep repeating the same lines like the cracked gramophone but that is the truth. He froze, died that day in the lake and after that his mind took control and he raised the frozen wall against him. He became emotionless, rigid, calm, not reacting to anything.
He is in deep pain, pain of loosing his daughter, pain of the trust lost as she broke the promise. He felt that seeing her will rake his pain, his loss and he buried his emotions completely.
He was living in pain, in those memories and never moved forward for him the day froze the day he lost his daughter. He is not loving himself anymore, does not want anyone to love him too as he is extremely hurt and this hurt has indeed frozen him.
Even in New York his eyes swelled at the photo of Saanvi and was aloof when Naina spoke to him, he avoided her, and when she told about Teju's health, he did not emote, no big words or even tears just that Kya. His emotions are just dead. He vowed not to go back as he does not want to kindle his emotions. So when he found Teju fine he was surprised but at that same time felt suffocated because the memories were now haunting him.
He became very calm, composed, but taking complete control of the situation. His heart is completely frozen and he has built that ice wall around him. The first crevices was formed when he met her at the procession, he was scared as he would break so he became rigid he does not want to go through any emotions, any love for when you love, you have emotions, also comes the pain. He was cautious not to bring her any close as he does not want to relive those painful moments.
But destiny was overruled by divine forces, the crevices in him did creek when he saw her on the road and again in the hospital but he did not want to get affected as once you are emotionless there is no feelings, so no pain. He froze there too when he saw her, but his eyes at her was giving in so he accepted to her request but not allowing to break the barrier around him. He know that she has been hurt terribly so allowed her to prove that she is being targeted.
The bedroom scene, I loved him for he was careful with his barriers but his composed nature, taking stride and loved SR his aura there. He was firm he had accepted her to prove herself, to live in the Haveli even before he know about Saanvi, though she took Saanvi kasam, so he proves that Sukor love is not on Saanvi without realizing himself. One thing that none can deny for SR kasam is something he will never never break so he shudders though the kasam is on the daughter who is supposedly dead, so what is there even if it is broken, but SR stands always by Kasam at any point.
Sometimes the extreme pain freeze you but a second of happiness brings you out, make you come out in open the same happened (this is purely my perception) like a person who was deprived of food for months together is suddenly shown a platter of mouthwatering food and suddenly it is taken away, the mind get confused with happiness and the sudden sadness and disappointment. That's what happened when she told that Saanvi was alive, it was like a boiling water at 200 degree temperature was poured on the ice, it melts but a sudden gush of arctic cold wind blows to freeze again. He was happy as his life started to tick, spin when he was told that he is woken from the dead, from being numb, but when he realized that the happiness is there but cannot be visualized or felt he froze again. His fear gripped him as he cannot bear the pain again, he does not want his emotions to be raked and be played with again. So cocooned himself to firmness and rigidness and told her not to refresh his wounds and play with his emotions. He cannot die again...
But in all this he knows that he was loosing, he was following her inspite of his rigidness. Also chakor was amazing as she understood his frozen state, he herself felt upset as because of trusting the untrust worthy he has been pushed into that state. She is also repenting for that, she wants to set things right, want to gather him and she did as she knows whatever it is none can love her like her Suraj and none can love Suraj at any state like his Chakor.
Hope I could make you peace with that bedroom scene.
The best part is dude gives in ...on a lighter node... He refused to have baraf ka gola and insisted to have amruthi but ended up having baraf ka gola with his happy family after school as Chakor wanted to have it and she knows her way to make him accept it and he does not shy to accept whatever she wishes!
Loads of love to Sukor.