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She closed her eyes against the feeling as his perfectly calloused fingers ghosted a trail of fire down her face. She took a shaky breath inwards in a futile attempt to calm herself. But as she felt the sensation of his hot breath playing relentlessly against the flushed skin of her neck, she lost all remnants of control.
"Chakor...I want to tell you something"
His voice was uneven and choked, like he was struggling to grasp at his words. That was something you never saw from the great Suraj Rajvanshi. He always knew what to say, the flawless gift of the gab. He always knew the way to win you over, to make him succumb so easily to his will. But now, he seemed to have forgotten who he was, what he did to women and men alike. The way he could twist them around his little finger effortlessly. And once that happened you were helpless. Caught in his spell with no way out. And she loved him for it, as much as she hated herself.
"Chakor..." Another shudder shot through her body, sending her head reeling off on its own. Every inch of her shivered violently, from her fingertips to her toes. Only he could even do this to her. And it was wrong.
"I love you."
Those three small words broke her free from her spell. It shattered the glass surrounding her and made it so she could see clearly again. She opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes full to the brim of insecurity and doubt. He had been stripped of all his trademark confidence.
She felt guilty for doing that to him. He was Suraj Rajvanshi, no one did that to him. No one had ever dared before. No one had ever got close enough. But she did. She backed away slightly, removing any contact that remained between them, and stared at her hands, never once saying a single word. And that's when she broke him. He had meant what he said. Out of all the time he had repeated those words to a nameless, faceless many, this was the one and only time that had he really and truly meant it. Honest to god, cross his heart and hope to fu**ing die. And she hadn't said it back. He couldn't blame her. After everything he had put her through. After everything. But it still hurt. She raised her head, slowly, like it was heavy and caught his eyes again for a brief, fleeting moment before she turned away again. Ashamed of what she had done.
"It's okay Chakor."
She heard his voice break when he said her name.
"I get it."
She squeezed her eyes tight shut, trying to block out everything that was unravelling around her. Trying to block out the flood of emotions that was threatening to wash her away. She was concentrating so hard that she didn't even hear his soft footsteps as he walked his way back towards her. She only realised when she felt the burning jolt of his skin on hers.
"Chakor..."
She opened her eyes again, tears spilling from behind the lids as she did. He raised a hand to brush them away. This was all wrong. Suraj wasn't supposed to be this gentle with her. He never had been before. He wasn't supposed to show emotion. That's just not who he was. But it's what he was doing now. And it scared her.
"I love you, Chakor."
He said it again, and the walls around her heart came crashing down violently. Every single once of them reduced to nothing but ash and rubble. He reached down slowly, almost uncertainly, and linked their fingers together tightly. He'd once told her in a drunken haze that he loved the way their fingers looked together, the way they fit so flawlessly. He had said that he had never found that with anyone else before. And she knew he was thinking that as he looked down wistfully with a dreamy smile crossing his lips.
"And it's so painful."
He took a deep breath.
"It hurts my chest sometimes. But, I know why you can't love me back."
She opened her mouth to speak, but he wouldn't let her talk. He was way too afraid of what he would hear. So instead, he kissed her. It was as if he actually cared about her as his lips met hers in the softest of caresses his hands stroked the skin of her jaw so soothingly. She almost forgot who this was that she was kissing, and everything he had put her through since childhood. And as he pulled away, he whispered against her skin,
"But I would give anything in the world to get you to say it back to me."
Her knees gave in then, not being able to stand the overwhelming pressure that he had just put her under. She fell to the ground and he followed her, reaching out, her tears came.
"It's okay Chakor."
He told her for the millionth time that night, "Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry."
That was a new one. He was usually the cause of her countless tears. And as she had broke down bit by bit, he had stood by, a slow sadistic grin creeping its way over his all too handsome face.
"I love you so much Chakor."
Maybe it was the way he had said it. The desperation he was drowning so helplessly in showed through too much. Or maybe it was just the way he was holding her. But whatever it was, she broke. And my god, did she fall beautifully.
"I love you too. Suraj."
She knew it was doomed from the moment those fateful words came tumbling so gracefully from her lips. But damnation was divine, and together they burned in a sea of their own tainted passion.
-End
"Chakor...I want to tell you something"
His voice was uneven and choked, like he was struggling to grasp at his words. That was something you never saw from the great Suraj Rajvanshi. He always knew what to say, the flawless gift of the gab. He always knew the way to win you over, to make him succumb so easily to his will. But now, he seemed to have forgotten who he was, what he did to women and men alike. The way he could twist them around his little finger effortlessly. And once that happened you were helpless. Caught in his spell with no way out. And she loved him for it, as much as she hated herself.
"Chakor..." Another shudder shot through her body, sending her head reeling off on its own. Every inch of her shivered violently, from her fingertips to her toes. Only he could even do this to her. And it was wrong.
"I love you."
Those three small words broke her free from her spell. It shattered the glass surrounding her and made it so she could see clearly again. She opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes full to the brim of insecurity and doubt. He had been stripped of all his trademark confidence.
She felt guilty for doing that to him. He was Suraj Rajvanshi, no one did that to him. No one had ever dared before. No one had ever got close enough. But she did. She backed away slightly, removing any contact that remained between them, and stared at her hands, never once saying a single word. And that's when she broke him. He had meant what he said. Out of all the time he had repeated those words to a nameless, faceless many, this was the one and only time that had he really and truly meant it. Honest to god, cross his heart and hope to fu**ing die. And she hadn't said it back. He couldn't blame her. After everything he had put her through. After everything. But it still hurt. She raised her head, slowly, like it was heavy and caught his eyes again for a brief, fleeting moment before she turned away again. Ashamed of what she had done.
"It's okay Chakor."
She heard his voice break when he said her name.
"I get it."
She squeezed her eyes tight shut, trying to block out everything that was unravelling around her. Trying to block out the flood of emotions that was threatening to wash her away. She was concentrating so hard that she didn't even hear his soft footsteps as he walked his way back towards her. She only realised when she felt the burning jolt of his skin on hers.
"Chakor..."
She opened her eyes again, tears spilling from behind the lids as she did. He raised a hand to brush them away. This was all wrong. Suraj wasn't supposed to be this gentle with her. He never had been before. He wasn't supposed to show emotion. That's just not who he was. But it's what he was doing now. And it scared her.
"I love you, Chakor."
He said it again, and the walls around her heart came crashing down violently. Every single once of them reduced to nothing but ash and rubble. He reached down slowly, almost uncertainly, and linked their fingers together tightly. He'd once told her in a drunken haze that he loved the way their fingers looked together, the way they fit so flawlessly. He had said that he had never found that with anyone else before. And she knew he was thinking that as he looked down wistfully with a dreamy smile crossing his lips.
"And it's so painful."
He took a deep breath.
"It hurts my chest sometimes. But, I know why you can't love me back."
She opened her mouth to speak, but he wouldn't let her talk. He was way too afraid of what he would hear. So instead, he kissed her. It was as if he actually cared about her as his lips met hers in the softest of caresses his hands stroked the skin of her jaw so soothingly. She almost forgot who this was that she was kissing, and everything he had put her through since childhood. And as he pulled away, he whispered against her skin,
"But I would give anything in the world to get you to say it back to me."
Her knees gave in then, not being able to stand the overwhelming pressure that he had just put her under. She fell to the ground and he followed her, reaching out, her tears came.
"It's okay Chakor."
He told her for the millionth time that night, "Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry."
That was a new one. He was usually the cause of her countless tears. And as she had broke down bit by bit, he had stood by, a slow sadistic grin creeping its way over his all too handsome face.
"I love you so much Chakor."
Maybe it was the way he had said it. The desperation he was drowning so helplessly in showed through too much. Or maybe it was just the way he was holding her. But whatever it was, she broke. And my god, did she fall beautifully.
"I love you too. Suraj."
She knew it was doomed from the moment those fateful words came tumbling so gracefully from her lips. But damnation was divine, and together they burned in a sea of their own tainted passion.
-End
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