attiya1.3 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1
So this is my 2nd try for IF fictions.as I write Urdu stories and poetry,so not sure with English ones as I feel I cannot portray emotions well in English .so enjoy if you can😆
Its one shot of night after hotel scene.CWS give us a short one so this my imagination.😆

" bhabhi ji! Kahan apni khobsurti ap us dharam pujari p zaya karrae hain" she tightened her wrist as aditiya pulled her towards himself.
" us ko to apki achi tarhan s tareef karna bhi nae ata" she turned her face in disgust.how could he touch her! Touch his sister in law! It only takes moments for a human to turned into animal and aditiya has crossed this line long before.
She tightened her dress.her forehead was filled with sweat.aditiya was just inches away.he was proceeding towards her.he removed her overcoat and threw it on the floor.

"Uma!"
Kanak was penting hard.she was not able to forget that dreadful moment.she looked around and found herself in uma's room.bedsheet was carefully placed on her,her dress was changed.
"How I come here? I was in the hotel where that..." Tears stuck in her throat.she gradually remembers whole day that how she was in hotel room ,planning to expose aditiya,how he misbehave,uma and massisa being there ,rajeev ,aditiya back home...her head started to spin.
She look out for water and found a jug right in her corner.she gulped the whole glass in one go.she feel relaxed and look for uma and as usual,he was sleeping on floor.kanak look him for some moments and return back to her pillow ,trying to sleep.when ever she close her eyes,aditiya with all those moments come towards her sight.kanak was feeling breathless again.
Kanak went beside uma and sat there for sometime to catch her breathe.she thought of waking uma but,stopped in mid way as she was sure that if she wake him,he will not let her sat beside him.kanak kept a distance and hold his kurta,to feel his warmth,his presence,assurance that he is there for her.tears started to roll down from her eyes but,she put her hand on mouth to stop any voice.gradually,everything become peaceful;it was like her heart wanted to be close to him,his fragrance.she clearly remembers how he used to define her sandalwood fragnance that attracted him towards her but,she never got a chance to tell him how his soul has created a fragnance around her,which pulled her towards him every second.how she misses him; her uma! Slowly,kanak fall asleep with her uma besides her!
..--_--------------

He felt like someone is holding him too tightly like if he will go somewhere.he turned around and saw the most beautiful moment of his life.uma eyes were wide opened when he saw kanak lying beside him,holding his kurta.he forgets everything; his vachan of leaving her,their divorce trial period,her deceaves,her faults,everything.he was just mesmerize by living innocence beside him.he could sense her deep sleep by her smooth breathe.her fragnance was cornering his anger but,at last,he pulled himself out of her magic.
" why is she sleeping here!" Why you do this kanak!you always look out for ways to hurt me!" His eyes started to fill.he had slept for some moments.those hotel moments were not leaving him alone.how someone could touch her; his kanak.if kanak had not come in between,he definetly had killed that bas***d.
Kanak moved her head and uma came back to reality." How to get rid of her!" In no way he was letting kanak sleep beside him.uma tried to place his hand under her head so that he can place her again on bed but,this trick was overplayed by kanak.she moved more closer to uma and dug herself into his chest ,tightening her hands around his back.uma was too angered on this situation.he could not move until kanak is awake and he didn't want to wake up her.
"Hey God! What are your plans!"
He look at their positions and drop idea to move kanak.he settled himself on mattress and closed his eyes.
" what you want kanak!!you wanted to get rid of me and now,when everything is according to your desires,you want to stay here.what is in your heart?what you want?" Uma was disturbed and his thoughts were continuously asking these questions.
"What you want?"
"Uma!" Kanak blurted his name while sleeping ,unknowingly wiping off sleep traces from uma eyes.!!!!

*end*

Criticisms welcome😃

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Mansi_jg thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2
Hi attiya,
Beautiful os, even I was expecting to see same kind of scenes in the show, but cvs wind up beautiful scene in short. Thanks a lot.
attiya1.3 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 7 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: Mansi_jg

Hi attiya,

Beautiful os, even I was expecting to see same kind of scenes in the show, but cvs wind up beautiful scene in short. Thanks a lot.


CWS hmare armaan k dushman😆

Thank you so much😃
desigal2017 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#4
Madam ji aap toh writer Nikli. 😎
When I was watching that scene.. I imagined something similar.. That is what you wrote.. I wish something like this did happen in the serial..

I like the ending.. ❤️

Well done. Keep writing dear

I don't understand urdu but can read and write hindi. If you write anything in hindi let me know..

Lots of love
Megs
attiya1.3 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 7 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: desigal2017

Madam ji aap toh writer Nikli. 😎

When I was watching that scene.. I imagined something similar.. That is what you wrote.. I wish something like this did happen in the serial..

I like the ending.. ❤️

Well done. Keep writing dear

I don't understand urdu but can read and write hindi. If you write anything in hindi let me know..

Lots of love
Megs


We all are romantic in head visualising same scene😉😆

I don't know Hindi...I write for a page and that's all in pure urdu😆
VividDiamond thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6
Hii Attiya !! 😊
Beautiful OS !! I loved reading it. Do write more...

Mujhe bhi Urdu aur Hindi mein kahaniyaan padhna zyada accha lagta hai, apne vaali feeling aati hai...😆

Calypso05 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#7
Hi Attiya😊,
Super title and nice imagination👏 you wrote it soo nicely⭐️
I like the way you describe the gesture👍🏼.
"living innocence"❤️❤️ its soo cute.
Can you write a sequel ? please.
Thank you.
SooSan thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#8
This is good , I enjoyed reading it. If only it had happened in the episode😊
attiya1.3 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 7 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: VividDiamond

Hii Attiya !! 😊

Beautiful OS !! I loved reading it. Do write more...

Mujhe bhi Urdu aur Hindi mein kahaniyaan padhna zyada accha lagta hai, apne vaali feeling aati hai...😆

Thank you😃

Exactly...apna apna feel.

Can you read Urdu?
attiya1.3 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 7 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Calypso05

Hi Attiya😊,

Super title and nice imagination👏 you wrote it soo nicely⭐️
I like the way you describe the gesture👍🏼.
"living innocence"❤️❤️ its soo cute.
Can you write a sequel ? please.
Thank you.


Thank you😃
I will continue it in other way...wait for next sunday😆

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