Kaarvan - AA & RK romance...pg 92 & 93 - Page 7

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Sofia. thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#61
Pragalbha: I just caught up on your fan fiction, and I must say it was amazing. I love how you describe in so much minute detail about the events in the parts...
And the way you've potrayed Robbie's character is miraculous !
Can't wait for RK to meet !


It's left my curiousity nerves perking...Do update your next part soon!

Sofia
bikerider thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#62


Shara : Atleast this way, I can make you visit the Kasturi section again!!! And I appreciate that honest statement you made! Yes, this FF is a little better planned than the previous one. The previous one, I was using the same story as the one in the serial and so I felt constrained at some places, but this story is completely mine and so I feel more in control!!!
yup i get it , although i liked your previous ff too πŸ˜‰
now i understand the difference i could not point it to a particular reason but i felt the difference 😳

hope to you see you Roka doing again all the stuff which could not happen in serial πŸ˜‰
more the control more merrier πŸ˜†
yup your FF has become the reason for me to come to kasturi section . if i again get attached to Roka and get irritated with Ektas stupid fundas you are responsible πŸ˜†
anjudiva thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#63
hi Pragz
I stopped on IF today to say my goodbyes and now it wont be so easy. DAMMITTTTT :)))
Great start to the FF. Now I'll have to come back at times to catch up.

Love the title... reminds me of one of my fave couplets
mein akela hi chala tha janibe manzil
log aate gaye karvaan badhta gaya

And loved the mention of DPS - I went to one of those too :).. the best one :)

Love the responsible Robbie. Looking at his busy schedule, looks unlikely that he would be making music... Is Kasturi going to be the pop princess and the diva??? that would be uber cool :P

Have fun writing

Cheers
Anju

PS - 2.30 is not saadhe do.. its dhai :)
sahib29 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#64

Originally posted by: anjudiva



PS - 2.30 is not saadhe do.. its dhai :)

Yes main bhi kehna chahti thi ..lekin kaha nahi ....ki saadhe do nahi dhai hote hai !!

Manpreet

Zuzana thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#65

Loved the part PragzπŸ‘β€¦I cant believe Robbie to be so intelligent and hardworking. And what is this he is not Devika and Purus son..then who are his parents..I feel so bad for him! 😭 I totally loved the way you brought in other characters like Sharmaji Mrs. Iyengar…. It looks like Devika has a perfect happy family.,😳  Its really heart warming to see such families Pragz …ususally in the serials they never depict middle class families with a nice angle. So liked your version ..it looks so real. In all a fantastic startπŸ‘. Now I am so curious to see how kasturi will be. The most exciting part of this ff will be how yoou will make RK fall for each otherπŸ˜β€¦you see we had missed on this in kashmakash. I am looking for some nok-jhoks of RK.

Can you please tell me why you named this 'Kaarvan'…I mean what is the significance with the story?

Eagerly waiting for the next part dear!😳

PrInCeZz07 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#66
Ok just wnt through all your parts right now Praglabha.
Wel wat cn I say dre so gud. How you've described it, like we're actually there πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
Yh how Robbies a middle class boy, working so hard and a person who cares bout his education. Woww dts wat I luv bout ure FF it's so different, to the serials we see. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
Cnt w8 til Kasturi makes her entry and how she'll be & when ROKA will be together in love.
Keep up the gr8 work!!!! πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘
Cnt w8 2 read the nxt part 😊    πŸ˜‰      πŸ˜ƒ
PrInCeZz07 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#67

Ok just wnt through all your parts right now Praglabha.
Wel wat cn I say dre so gud. How you've described it, like we're actually there πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
Yh how Robbies a middle class boy, working so hard and a person who cares bout his education. Woww dts wat I luv bout ure FF it's so different, to the serials we see. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
Cnt w8 til Kasturi makes her entry and how she'll be & when ROKA will be together in love.
Keep up the gr8 work!!!! πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘
Cnt w8 2 read the nxt part 😊    πŸ˜‰      πŸ˜ƒ

 

Oops sorry double post

Edited by PrInCeZz07 - 16 years ago
pragalbha thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#68
Hey guys......I am back!!!

aksn : 🀣 That's right..........all villains are good in this FF!! Thanks for reading!

Sofia sweety..........Thanks! I did try to give as much details as possible πŸ˜ƒ I am glad you liked Robbie here, but honestly did we ever not like him??? πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Shara : Lets just hope that this time round creatives does not separate them for a while!!! πŸ˜ƒ

Anju!!!!!!! πŸ€— Its been ages......What are you saying??? I sent you a PM, please check it out!
And yes.....he ain't making no music this time round!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
I loved that sher too!!! Ahhh so we have a DPS connection here!!! Now you will have to come back and read this, if not for me that atleast for DPS!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
And anju......there can be only one diva around here and that is you!!

Thanks to you and Mannu.... for the correction!!! πŸ˜ƒ

RK..........Thanks a lot dear!!! Yep that is one happy family!! I was tired of seeing the nonsensical family relationships that were being shown!!!
I am glad you liked all the other characters too!!! RK romance will start, but first there will be some fun stuff!
Kaarvaan roughly means the same as a Caravan in English. What I am trying to indicate through the title is that life is like a caravan, we meet differen people wjho move with us for a while and then get separated. Some stay with us till end, some leave in the middle!!! Like the way anju and mannu are doing 😭 😭

Princez............Thanks sweety!!! I am very happy that you liked it!!! I am trying to make it as realistic as possible!!! Lets see how successful I will be! πŸ˜ƒ
pragalbha thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#69

Re-cap : Robbie comes home a little late. He buys a new tennis racquet for Divya, who is very excited to see it!


PART - 3 : LIVING ON THE EDGE


As it happens every Sunday, they all spend more than an hour and a half at the dining table, discussing everything, catching up with each other.....basically relaxing in each other's company! The Sabharwals were people who thoroughly enjoyed their food. They believed that food provided more nourishment, when it was enjoyed, not just eaten!!! Robbie absolutely loved Devika's cooking to bits and he could never have enough of it!! After an extended lunch, they all get up lazily from the table. Everybody picks up his/her own dirty plate and drops it off in the sink.
 
 
In Devika's supervision all the kids had grown up to do their own tasks. There was no differentiation between male children and female children. Robbie and the girls are helping Devika clear up the table when Puru says to Robbie
Puru : Robbie, mujhe tum seh baat karni hai. Chalo balcony mei chalte hai!
A slight smile spreads on Robbie's face 😊 and he follows Puru to the balcony.
They lived in a 3-bedroom apartment. The smallest bedroom was occupied by Devika and Puru. All the girls shared another one and the last bedroom was the study room for all 4 of them, which became Robbie's bedroom in the night. So the only place to talk and discuss anything private in nature was the balcony. So the kids had nicknamed the balcony as.......'Confession Box'!!!( πŸ˜† πŸ˜† )
 

Devika lets Puru and Robbie talk for a few minutes. She does not want to interrupt her husband. After a few minutes she too steps out into the balcony. She sees Puru sitting on a chair and Robbie........he is dangerously sitting on the balcony railing and holding onto nothing!!! Devika's heart comes into her mouth 😲 and she yells his name "Robbie!!!!". She quickly extends her hand to him.....indicating him to get off the railing. Robbie grins and says
Robbie : Kitni darpok hai aap, chachi! πŸ˜†
Devika gives him an exasperated expression 😳 Robbie takes her hand and gets off the railing. She pulls him to her. He hugs her from the side and kisses her head and says
Robbie : Aap kyun itnaa darti hai mere baare mei?
Devika answers him back with another question
Devika : Kitni baar kahaa hai meine, balcony ke railing peh mat baitho?? πŸ˜’
Robbie replies back, stressing on the 'kucch' : Don't worry chachi...mujhe kuuch nahi hoga!
 

He makes her sit on a chair and he himself occupies another chair sitting opposite to both of them. Puru and Robbie continue their discussion and Devika quietly observes Robbie........He was 5'10", well-built and was ruggedly handsome!! But it was not those physical features that attracted people to him.....there was this affability about him that attracted people to him!!! He had a unique charm........a unique style!  He could wear a 50 rupees shirt, but when he wore it, the shirt would look like it cost a fortune! 😳  He added that value to the shirt!!!  Anyone who spent a little time with him would get drawn to him like magnets......specially girls! Though Robbie was very embarrassed about it 😳, Devika knew that all the teenage girls in the building were crazy about him!!
 

But......along with the affability was also present......arrogance, an attitude that came with the knowledge that he was worth it! Robbie knew he was worth the attention! And every once in a while, he would display this attitude, when he felt that he or his intelligence was being unreasonably challenged!!! But Devika always strived to keep this 'in your face' attitude of his, to a minimum!
And of course how could she forget his 'take the maximum risk' attitude??? Robbie loved living on the edge! He never had any problem taking risk in order to gain the maximum benefit!! Devika absolutely hated this attitude of his, though that same attitude is what made him unique!!
 

"But"...thought Devika "his best feature were, his eyes........those deep, honest and intelligent eyes!!! Those large eyes that mirrored every emotion passing through him and which at this moment were displaying glee! Glee........because he had finally won the argument with Puru! Puru turns to Devika and says
Puru : Ab tum hi samjhao apne bete ko Devika, mei toh haar gayaa hun! πŸ˜•
Devika looks at Robbie and says : Robbie, promise me something son!
Robbie falls back on his chair and raising both his arms and saying : COME ON, Chachi!!! That's not fair!
Devika knew it was not fair, but that was the only way she could win with him. She would make him promise first and then tell him what he had to do! Like all men, Robbie also listened to only logic and reason, not to emotions!!! Only 2 people were allowed to get sentimental with him.....one was chutki and the other was herself. And today she was going to excercise that right!! Devika says again
Devika : Come on..give me your word, that you will do something for me!
"What is it?" asks Robbie cautiously.
Devika : Pehle promise karo.....Mei jo bhi kahungi, tumhaari bhalaayee ke liye kahungi, itnaa toh yakeen hai na, tumhe??
Robbie gives up and says : Theek hai, kahiye!
Devika : Robbie, tumhe apni donon jobs meh seh ek koh chodhni hogi! Mei toh chahti hun ke tum koi naukri naa karo aur sirf apni padhai peh dhyaan do. Lekin mujhe maalum hai tum nahi maanoge...isiliye, I am saying one job. You decide which one!! πŸ˜•
Robbie is about to protest when Devika stops him and says
Devika : Robbie....iss ghar ki zarooraten poori karna, hamaari zimmedaari hai, tumhaari nahi! Wednesday seh tumhaari mid-terms shuru ho rahi hai! You need to concentrate on that!!
Robbie : I can manage both, chachi!!
Devika : I know, you can! Lekin mei nahi chahti ke tum 'manage' karo...mei chahti hun ke tum 'excel' karo! Bas apne finals ho jaane tak meri baat maano, baad mei tumhaari jaise marzi ho waise karna.
A lengthy discussion ensues and finally Robbie gives in.....he very rarely gives in...but this is one of those occassions. He decides to quit the Sunday job. Devika and Puru are very happy with his decision!!! πŸ˜ƒ Just at that moment, Divys peeps into the balcony to see if the 'talk' is over. She sees it is and says to her dad
Divya : Bauji, match kaa time ho rahaa hai.
Puru says : Arre haan, chalo chalte hai.
And he gets up and goes into the house. Devika and Robbie follow him in. Everyone wishes Divya good luck and she and Puru leave for the local YWCA which is a 10 minutes drive from their house. Robbie goes to his room and immerses himself into his pending assignments! He needed to finish them by tomorrow. His first class tomorrow was at 10.00 AM.
Devika meanwhile is catching up on some pending work, when the phone rings. She picks it up and it is her friend Leela Rastogi. Leela was also her colleague in DPS. Leela was a wonderful person at heart. Her only problem was, she was a chatter box. She immediately starts off
Leela : Devika.....maine tumhe woh rishte ke baare mei bataaya tha na, Alaana ke liye....
Devika sighs and cuts her : Leela.......meine bhi tumhe bataaya tha na, ke hum abhi Alaana ki shaadi ke baare mei nahi soch rahe hai! Arre, abhi toh ussne graduation bhi poora nahi kiyaa hai!
Leela : Ek-do mahinon mei toh woh final year ke exams de degi na....phir toh graduation ho hi gayaa samjho!
Devika : Haan, lekin.....humne iss baare mei abhi kuch tay nahi kiyaa hai! Aur phir humne Alaana seh bhi nahi poocha, ke woh aage kya karna chahti hai!
Leela : Woh sab toh theek hai Devika, lekin yaad rakhna acche rishte baar baar nahi aate!
Devika : Tum sahi keh rahi ho Leela. Lekin, don't worry.......yeh rishta agar Alaana ke liye likha hai, toh zaroor hoga! But right now, we are not interested.
They converse for some more time and then disconnect the call. That evening, Robbie is not too hungry and settles for a lassi made by Devika. Robbie could kill for a lassi made by Devika. Nobody could make it as she did!! But Divya on the other hand is starving and has a huge dinner as she is very tired and very very hungry after winning the grueling match by 2 sets! πŸ‘ πŸ‘ She has qualified for the Delhi tourney and the championship matches start in 10 days! Everyone is very happy for her! πŸ˜›
Next day is a bright fresh Monday and the hectic routine of the family starts! Robbie reaches his University with only 5 minutes left for his class. He is rushing to his class when he is wished constantly by someone or the other......."Hello Robbie!"........."Hey, Robbie!" ..."Good morning, Robbie!', "What's up buddy?"....."Robbie...aaj teen baje..yaad hai na??"....and so on and so forth. He answers everyone rushing past them.
Ajay is also walking to his class and was seeing Robbie rushing past answering all those people. He was never able to understand why Robbie was so popular? Robbie was one of the most popular guys in the University. But why??? It was not because he was the richest guy in the University......because that would be Raunak Singhania! It was not like he was the University topper......because that would be Kartik Dixit! It was not like he was the most handsome guy in the University.........because that would be him.......Ajay Chawla!!

Ajay has been unsure about Robbie from the day he had met him, which was about an year and a half ago, when he had been first introduced to Robbie by Raunak. Raunak and Ajay had just joined DU for their MBA. Raunak and Robbie had known each other since school days. And he had introduced Robbie to Ajay in one of those numerous forgettable parties. Ajay was uncomfortable with Robbie. In fact......he did not like Robbie! Ajay was not sure why he did not like Robbie. At first, it was only some prejudice that Ajay had formed about Robbie. But over the period of time, that prejudice had turned into dislike, because he had felt very threatened by Robbie's popularity. Ajay was not jealous. He did not need to be! He was a stinking rich guy with acumen business skills!! He was finishing up his MBA in another 4 months but was already managing the whole real estate business of his parent's business empire.....Chawla Business Enterprises. And he looked hot and handsome doing that!! Still, Robbie made him insecure!! πŸ˜•

His thoughts get interrupted when his I-Phone buzzes. He checks to see who was calling him. It was his sister.......Kasturi!

Edited by pragalbha - 15 years ago
Herman_4u thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#70

me first

let me just cheer for u firstπŸ‘ brilliant, brilliant, brilliant man.  u are just amazing.  love ur writing skills.  introducing all the characters.  ur are just best at whatever u do.  coming back to the storyline,  so kasturi is rich this time haan.  so u kinda switched the characters, this is wat i kind of expected wen robbie was a middle class guy.  very very very very gooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddd.  just keep it up.  waiting very eagerly for the next part.  post it wenever u have time. alright.  see ya

love

harmanπŸ˜›

Edited by Herman_4u - 16 years ago