Posted:
PART 15:
A number of other relatives and cousins dropped by at Naina maasi's house to meet Kripa. Kripa had never imagined that so many of her relatives remembered her so vividly and were all very fond of her parents. Her parents had done a lot for them over the years. They had sent a regular flow of cash to some of the not so well off relatives to establish their own businesses in Gujarat. For the first time in her life, she appreciated what her parents had done not only for the extended family here, but also for her. She was one of the lucky few who had more than her share of luxuries and a good life back in the US.
If her parents had not migrated to the US, she would also be like one of her cousins, either married off by now or waiting to get married. Being in the US, she had so many more options and opportunities unlike her Indian cousins. Some of her cousins had managed to get good college degrees and were employed in the bigger cities, but that was more of an exception than the rule as their families were still a little conservative and preferred that girls get married at an early age before stepping out into the real world. None of them would even dream of sending their daughter all alone across the seven seas; and that too with an unknown guy.
After most relatives departed, Harshini suggested, "Kripa….yaad hai hum naani ke saath Ram mandir jaate the? Chalogi mere saath?"
"Sure….why not," Kripa replied.
"Can I join you ladies?" Zaib asked politely
"Of course Zaib," Harshini smiled. Kripa changed into a pink churidaar suit before the three of them drove to the neighborhood temple.
Kripa remembered visiting the temple with her mom and naani as a little child. She had not been there in almost 10 years, so she was curious to see how the temple might have changed over the years. The temple was exactly the same as she could remember but the areas around the temple were more crowded and dirtier than before. They were surrounded by little kids who begged them for money and Prasad. Kripa's heart melted at seeing so many kids in that state- how could the Indian government turn a blind eye to such a plight? She cringed and walked into the temple with Harshini and Zaib.
After offering prayers, the three of them walked out into the serene and lush grounds of the temple.
"Kripa….tum log yahan wait karo….maa ka phone aaya hai…..mujhey dispensary se kuch medicines pick karni hain….i will be back in a few minutes…OK?" Harshini excused herself and left Zaib and Kripa at the temple. Kripa did not mind it as she was quite enjoying the peaceful environment of the temple. It reminded her of her days with her naani.
"Let's sit on that bench Kripa," Zaib pointed to a bench in the lawn.
"Ok…let's go," she agreed.
The sun had set behind the dome of the temple, leaving a golden hue in the skies above.
Zaib's heart skipped a few beats as he sat next to Kripa on the bench. She looked so gentle and lovely in that pink color. There could be no better place than the premises of this sacred temple to confess his feelings.
Kripa sat with her hands on her lap, munching on the little Prasad that was just offered at the temple.
"Kripa," he finally spoke.
"Hmm?" she asked absent-mindedly.
"Another 2 days….and you will be on your journey back to the US," he said
"You mean home," she replied.
"Well…of course….that is your home…..I think I was getting used to you being here…..it's been only 2 weeks or so, but seems like a life time….doesn't it?" he asked hesitantly.
"It's been a hectic trip……so it seems that way," She answered back.
"Kripa…..I need to say something before it is too late," he shuffled his legs nervously and rested his elbows on his knees; even though he had rehearsed the lines several times, he did not know how to say them.
"Yes Zaib….I am all ears," she bent forward, placed her elbows on her knees and looked at him. They were face to face now, their eyes met and were momentarily lost in each other.
"I love you Kripa," he gazed into her eyes and poured his heart out to her.
The color drained from her face; she looked away and sat up,
"Za…ib………………..tha-at…Love.……is a big word," she stuttered.
Zaib stood up and then knelt on the grass in front of her, "It is a big word…..and a big feeling…..but it is true Kripa…..I think I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you in the kitchen at Afreen's house…..but after spending these 2 weeks with you, I am convinced that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Kripa noticed his hands on her lap as he knelt in front of her, "Zaib…..I don't know what you are saying…..you are a good friend…..I am happy that I met you on this trip……but love and spending the rest of my life with you is certainly not the feeling I have for you," she looked away
Zaib's color drained, "Kripa….look at me…..don't deny your true feelings…..I have seen it in your eyes…..I have felt it in your heartbeat…..I know you love me too."
"Zaib," she shook her head, "you are a poet at heart….you see romance and love in everything….you would probably fall for anything beautiful……that's just the way you are Zaib……I am sure once I am gone, you will realize that it was just an infatuation……or may be an attraction…..I…I…..don't think it is love Zaib."
Zaib's feelings were hurt; he swallowed a lump in his throat and then tried to smile, "you are right Kripa…..I love everything God has created…..yes I can find beauty in any living thing……but what I feel for you is very different…….I have never felt that way about anyone else …..I know we are meant for each other."
Kripa pulled away from his grip on her thighs, "excuse me Zaib…..I think you are getting carried away……I would love to remain friends with you but you are making it hard for me…..I am sorry to hurt your feelings………we don't have a future together…..we belong to two different worlds…..we belong to two sides of a river…for that matter two sides of a vast ocean."
"Kripa…I don't care about our differences…..but tell me…..don't you love me? Love can conquer all differences…..main tumse sirf yeh sun na chaahta hoon ki kya tum bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho ya nahin?" he asked.
Kripa stood up and folded her arms, "NO ZAIB….I DON"T LOVE YOU!"
"Jhooth bol rahi ho tum!" he stood up angrily and faced her. Kripa had never seen this aspect of Zaib's personality; he was almost trembling with fire in his eyes, "You are lying Kripa," he came closer and touched her cheek, "you are lying to yourself and to me…..I know you love me Kripa," he said tenderly.
Kripa removed his hand from her face, "what makes you think so? Aren't you being a little arrogant here?" she asked angrily
"It's not arrogance….it is confidence….confidence in my love…..and my perception…..I know I am not mistaken…..mera dil itna badha dhokha nahin khaa sakta," he said softly.
"Zaib…..you are ruining this beautiful friendship we have developed…..You are my first Indian guy friend…….that's it…..so please don't stretch your imagination beyond that…..I am grateful for all you have done for me……most of all reunited me with my extended family…….you have been really kind….with both your words and gestures……you are a nice man…….but I am sorry…..I can't reciprocate the depth of your feelings….. I would rather be honest than to keep you under an illusion," Kripa sighed.
"What about that moment at the Taj? That kiss? The longing in your eyes? Was that all an illusion?" he asked
Kripa rolled her eyes, 'I knew it! What is such a big deal about a kiss? In fact it was not even a kiss….it was just a friendly peck…..you saved me from falling….and I guess we just got carried away under that moonlight…..Zaib….trust me that was not the first kiss in my life….I don't fall in love with every guy who kisses me!" she lied although she could not deny the fact that the taste of Zaib's kiss still tingled on her lips.
Kripa's callous statement pierced his heart like an arrow; he had tears in his eyes. He looked away and said softly, "In our part of the world it is a big deal Kripa…..par main itna jaanta hoon Kripa ki tumhare lavz aaj kuch bhi kahein…..tumhari aankhein aur dil ki dhadkan kuch aur hi kehti hain……I have faith in my love….I will never lie in front of this sacred temple……..and I am not sorry that I confessed my feelings for you……I am just sorry for you…..that you could not speak the truth……but I am willing to wait Kripa….even if I have to wait all my life…..I will wait for you because I know you love me and you would never be able to love anyone else…..may be you just need time to realize your true feelings…..tum jab bhi awaaz dogi……main aa jaaoonga Kripa……and I am not ashamed to say it again I LOVE YOU KRIPA…..I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!" He wiped a little tear from the corner of his eye and walked away to the gate of the temple.
Meri mohabbat ko tune kai ilzaam de diye,
Fir bhi tujhe chaahne ki khata yeh dil karta to hai,
Na mil saki mohabbat teri humein,
Fir bhi tera intzaar yeh dil karta to hai,
Ghum tujhe kabhi chhoo na paaye,
Bus yehi dua yeh dil karta to hai,
Tum to kar na sake iqraar-e-mohabbat,
Toota hua hi sahi tere liye yeh dil dhadkata to hai,
Kripa became a little misty eyed herself; Zaib's heart wrenching words had shaken her a little. She closed her eyes and prayed, "Hey Ram…..please give me the strength to keep my composure…..let me not get swayed by his emotions…..I know once I am back home, I will be fine…..please forgive me for breaking his heart……but I can't help it……I cannot promise what I don't feel……I cannot see myself with a guy like him and can't possibly live in this country……yes I will come back and visit……but just as his friend and just as a visitor……we are not meant to be together…..I hope he will understand that with time."
"Sorry…der ho gayi!" Harshini apologized as she walked towards them, "chalo ghar chalte hain."
"Yes ….let's go…..it is getting late," Kripa said softly.
Harshini noticed the tension between the two of them as she drove the car, "mandir mein kuch pareshaani tho nahin huyi na? Aap dono itne chup chup hain."
"Nahin Harshini….aisi koi baat nahin hai…..shayad baat kar karke hum dono thak gaye hain," Zaib mumbled awkawardly.
"Arre…aise kaise? Chaliye aapko ek naya gaana sunaati hoon…..it is my current favorite by Rakesh Pandit from Pyar ke side effects," Harshini turned the cassette player on.
"Did you say pyaar ke SAD effects?" Zaib asked mockingly.
Kripa understood his sarcasm and leaned outside the open window; it was just a matter of 2 days, she would have to ignore and forget what he had just said outside the temple and pretend everything was normal. She valued Zaib's friendship and did not want to create any rift between them because of his expectations from her…….he would soon get over her just as she would get back to her routine in the US amongst all her friends and her college…….everyone has a fling on their vacation……Lisa did when she went to Italy…..she even slept with the tour guide there…….at least I did not do anything so foolish……Kripa reflected.
"You are funny Zaib," Harshini chuckled and played this song which expresses Zaib's feelings very well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aSKQLfOvhs&feature=related
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 4
ishq hove na hove na bereham ki wajah
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
toota toota dil hai hai rutha rutha rab
hamne jana ab hai kya hai pyar ka sabab
basa kiska jahaan huaan shaad koi kab
kitno ke lage dil roye sab ke sab
yahi hota hai aaya pyar ka hai ??? - 2
kab kab yahi hoga toh ???
aa~
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
sang sang chalne ki kaisi todi hai kasam
phir baaten manzilon ki aji chhodiye sanam
ek baar nahi dekha pichhe mud aapne
ussi mod pe khade hai mere tarah kadam
naya nashtar koi laaye hameen pe aazmaaye
hameen pe aazmaaye naya nashtar jo laaye
diye pehle zakham wohi kaafi nahi kya
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
ishq hove na hove na bereham ki wajah
dil tod ke na jaa na ja na ja na ja
muh mod ke na jaa na ja na ja na ja
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 4
….to be contd…..
A number of other relatives and cousins dropped by at Naina maasi's house to meet Kripa. Kripa had never imagined that so many of her relatives remembered her so vividly and were all very fond of her parents. Her parents had done a lot for them over the years. They had sent a regular flow of cash to some of the not so well off relatives to establish their own businesses in Gujarat. For the first time in her life, she appreciated what her parents had done not only for the extended family here, but also for her. She was one of the lucky few who had more than her share of luxuries and a good life back in the US.
If her parents had not migrated to the US, she would also be like one of her cousins, either married off by now or waiting to get married. Being in the US, she had so many more options and opportunities unlike her Indian cousins. Some of her cousins had managed to get good college degrees and were employed in the bigger cities, but that was more of an exception than the rule as their families were still a little conservative and preferred that girls get married at an early age before stepping out into the real world. None of them would even dream of sending their daughter all alone across the seven seas; and that too with an unknown guy.
After most relatives departed, Harshini suggested, "Kripa….yaad hai hum naani ke saath Ram mandir jaate the? Chalogi mere saath?"
"Sure….why not," Kripa replied.
"Can I join you ladies?" Zaib asked politely
"Of course Zaib," Harshini smiled. Kripa changed into a pink churidaar suit before the three of them drove to the neighborhood temple.
Kripa remembered visiting the temple with her mom and naani as a little child. She had not been there in almost 10 years, so she was curious to see how the temple might have changed over the years. The temple was exactly the same as she could remember but the areas around the temple were more crowded and dirtier than before. They were surrounded by little kids who begged them for money and Prasad. Kripa's heart melted at seeing so many kids in that state- how could the Indian government turn a blind eye to such a plight? She cringed and walked into the temple with Harshini and Zaib.
After offering prayers, the three of them walked out into the serene and lush grounds of the temple.
"Kripa….tum log yahan wait karo….maa ka phone aaya hai…..mujhey dispensary se kuch medicines pick karni hain….i will be back in a few minutes…OK?" Harshini excused herself and left Zaib and Kripa at the temple. Kripa did not mind it as she was quite enjoying the peaceful environment of the temple. It reminded her of her days with her naani.
"Let's sit on that bench Kripa," Zaib pointed to a bench in the lawn.
"Ok…let's go," she agreed.
The sun had set behind the dome of the temple, leaving a golden hue in the skies above.
Zaib's heart skipped a few beats as he sat next to Kripa on the bench. She looked so gentle and lovely in that pink color. There could be no better place than the premises of this sacred temple to confess his feelings.
Kripa sat with her hands on her lap, munching on the little Prasad that was just offered at the temple.
"Kripa," he finally spoke.
"Hmm?" she asked absent-mindedly.
"Another 2 days….and you will be on your journey back to the US," he said
"You mean home," she replied.
"Well…of course….that is your home…..I think I was getting used to you being here…..it's been only 2 weeks or so, but seems like a life time….doesn't it?" he asked hesitantly.
"It's been a hectic trip……so it seems that way," She answered back.
"Kripa…..I need to say something before it is too late," he shuffled his legs nervously and rested his elbows on his knees; even though he had rehearsed the lines several times, he did not know how to say them.
"Yes Zaib….I am all ears," she bent forward, placed her elbows on her knees and looked at him. They were face to face now, their eyes met and were momentarily lost in each other.
"I love you Kripa," he gazed into her eyes and poured his heart out to her.
The color drained from her face; she looked away and sat up,
"Za…ib………………..tha-at…Love.……is a big word," she stuttered.
Zaib stood up and then knelt on the grass in front of her, "It is a big word…..and a big feeling…..but it is true Kripa…..I think I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you in the kitchen at Afreen's house…..but after spending these 2 weeks with you, I am convinced that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Kripa noticed his hands on her lap as he knelt in front of her, "Zaib…..I don't know what you are saying…..you are a good friend…..I am happy that I met you on this trip……but love and spending the rest of my life with you is certainly not the feeling I have for you," she looked away
Zaib's color drained, "Kripa….look at me…..don't deny your true feelings…..I have seen it in your eyes…..I have felt it in your heartbeat…..I know you love me too."
"Zaib," she shook her head, "you are a poet at heart….you see romance and love in everything….you would probably fall for anything beautiful……that's just the way you are Zaib……I am sure once I am gone, you will realize that it was just an infatuation……or may be an attraction…..I…I…..don't think it is love Zaib."
Zaib's feelings were hurt; he swallowed a lump in his throat and then tried to smile, "you are right Kripa…..I love everything God has created…..yes I can find beauty in any living thing……but what I feel for you is very different…….I have never felt that way about anyone else …..I know we are meant for each other."
Kripa pulled away from his grip on her thighs, "excuse me Zaib…..I think you are getting carried away……I would love to remain friends with you but you are making it hard for me…..I am sorry to hurt your feelings………we don't have a future together…..we belong to two different worlds…..we belong to two sides of a river…for that matter two sides of a vast ocean."
"Kripa…I don't care about our differences…..but tell me…..don't you love me? Love can conquer all differences…..main tumse sirf yeh sun na chaahta hoon ki kya tum bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho ya nahin?" he asked.
Kripa stood up and folded her arms, "NO ZAIB….I DON"T LOVE YOU!"
"Jhooth bol rahi ho tum!" he stood up angrily and faced her. Kripa had never seen this aspect of Zaib's personality; he was almost trembling with fire in his eyes, "You are lying Kripa," he came closer and touched her cheek, "you are lying to yourself and to me…..I know you love me Kripa," he said tenderly.
Kripa removed his hand from her face, "what makes you think so? Aren't you being a little arrogant here?" she asked angrily
"It's not arrogance….it is confidence….confidence in my love…..and my perception…..I know I am not mistaken…..mera dil itna badha dhokha nahin khaa sakta," he said softly.
"Zaib…..you are ruining this beautiful friendship we have developed…..You are my first Indian guy friend…….that's it…..so please don't stretch your imagination beyond that…..I am grateful for all you have done for me……most of all reunited me with my extended family…….you have been really kind….with both your words and gestures……you are a nice man…….but I am sorry…..I can't reciprocate the depth of your feelings….. I would rather be honest than to keep you under an illusion," Kripa sighed.
"What about that moment at the Taj? That kiss? The longing in your eyes? Was that all an illusion?" he asked
Kripa rolled her eyes, 'I knew it! What is such a big deal about a kiss? In fact it was not even a kiss….it was just a friendly peck…..you saved me from falling….and I guess we just got carried away under that moonlight…..Zaib….trust me that was not the first kiss in my life….I don't fall in love with every guy who kisses me!" she lied although she could not deny the fact that the taste of Zaib's kiss still tingled on her lips.
Kripa's callous statement pierced his heart like an arrow; he had tears in his eyes. He looked away and said softly, "In our part of the world it is a big deal Kripa…..par main itna jaanta hoon Kripa ki tumhare lavz aaj kuch bhi kahein…..tumhari aankhein aur dil ki dhadkan kuch aur hi kehti hain……I have faith in my love….I will never lie in front of this sacred temple……..and I am not sorry that I confessed my feelings for you……I am just sorry for you…..that you could not speak the truth……but I am willing to wait Kripa….even if I have to wait all my life…..I will wait for you because I know you love me and you would never be able to love anyone else…..may be you just need time to realize your true feelings…..tum jab bhi awaaz dogi……main aa jaaoonga Kripa……and I am not ashamed to say it again I LOVE YOU KRIPA…..I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!" He wiped a little tear from the corner of his eye and walked away to the gate of the temple.
Meri mohabbat ko tune kai ilzaam de diye,
Fir bhi tujhe chaahne ki khata yeh dil karta to hai,
Na mil saki mohabbat teri humein,
Fir bhi tera intzaar yeh dil karta to hai,
Ghum tujhe kabhi chhoo na paaye,
Bus yehi dua yeh dil karta to hai,
Tum to kar na sake iqraar-e-mohabbat,
Toota hua hi sahi tere liye yeh dil dhadkata to hai,
Kripa became a little misty eyed herself; Zaib's heart wrenching words had shaken her a little. She closed her eyes and prayed, "Hey Ram…..please give me the strength to keep my composure…..let me not get swayed by his emotions…..I know once I am back home, I will be fine…..please forgive me for breaking his heart……but I can't help it……I cannot promise what I don't feel……I cannot see myself with a guy like him and can't possibly live in this country……yes I will come back and visit……but just as his friend and just as a visitor……we are not meant to be together…..I hope he will understand that with time."
"Sorry…der ho gayi!" Harshini apologized as she walked towards them, "chalo ghar chalte hain."
"Yes ….let's go…..it is getting late," Kripa said softly.
Harshini noticed the tension between the two of them as she drove the car, "mandir mein kuch pareshaani tho nahin huyi na? Aap dono itne chup chup hain."
"Nahin Harshini….aisi koi baat nahin hai…..shayad baat kar karke hum dono thak gaye hain," Zaib mumbled awkawardly.
"Arre…aise kaise? Chaliye aapko ek naya gaana sunaati hoon…..it is my current favorite by Rakesh Pandit from Pyar ke side effects," Harshini turned the cassette player on.
"Did you say pyaar ke SAD effects?" Zaib asked mockingly.
Kripa understood his sarcasm and leaned outside the open window; it was just a matter of 2 days, she would have to ignore and forget what he had just said outside the temple and pretend everything was normal. She valued Zaib's friendship and did not want to create any rift between them because of his expectations from her…….he would soon get over her just as she would get back to her routine in the US amongst all her friends and her college…….everyone has a fling on their vacation……Lisa did when she went to Italy…..she even slept with the tour guide there…….at least I did not do anything so foolish……Kripa reflected.
"You are funny Zaib," Harshini chuckled and played this song which expresses Zaib's feelings very well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aSKQLfOvhs&feature=related
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 4
ishq hove na hove na bereham ki wajah
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
toota toota dil hai hai rutha rutha rab
hamne jana ab hai kya hai pyar ka sabab
basa kiska jahaan huaan shaad koi kab
kitno ke lage dil roye sab ke sab
yahi hota hai aaya pyar ka hai ??? - 2
kab kab yahi hoga toh ???
aa~
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
sang sang chalne ki kaisi todi hai kasam
phir baaten manzilon ki aji chhodiye sanam
ek baar nahi dekha pichhe mud aapne
ussi mod pe khade hai mere tarah kadam
naya nashtar koi laaye hameen pe aazmaaye
hameen pe aazmaaye naya nashtar jo laaye
diye pehle zakham wohi kaafi nahi kya
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 2
ishq hove na hove na bereham ki wajah
dil tod ke na jaa na ja na ja na ja
muh mod ke na jaa na ja na ja na ja
dil tod ke na jaa muh mod ke na jaa - 4
….to be contd…..
Cricket
