The plight of the maurauders- Part 3, pg3 - Page 2

write part 2 quick yaar! 😉 😆
-Aastha

 

Part 2

Sirius & James rushed for detention. They were already late & were sure McGonnagal would kill them.

"You've got your two-way mirror, haven't you, mate?"

"Do you think I'd miss it? Just tell me if anything happens between you & Evans."

"That'll only be if McGonnagal puts me & her in the same detention... which will be if we reach on time, so run"

"I'm running, I'n running!"

Finally they reached McGonnagal's office. Lily was already there, & so was Professor McGonnagal, both of them looking very cross.

"Potter, Black, I thought I told you two to be here at 5PM. You are 15 minutes late, so I believe it will be 15 points from Gryffindor."

"But Professor-"

McGonnagal cut across them.

"Black, you are to scrub all the desks in my classroom- without using any kind of magic, that is. Evans & Potter, you are to clean all the trophies in the trophy room, again, without using any kind of magic, the Muggle way. You may begin."

"But Professor, why can't I work alone?" said Lily.

"Miss Evans, you are in detention. You are not to decide your own punishment."

"Great," whispered James to Sirius. "I can show all the trophies I have won for Quidditch to Evans."

 

thats the second part, please do comment, both positive & negative comments are most welcome... & please review my ff if you can....

Edited by shriyaroxxx - 17 years ago

Hi Shriya!

OKie I'm the first reviewer! Great!!!!
So here goes my review...

PROS-
Good reading and does't stretch over the incidents of the story. Just the basic happenings. I like that as it keeps the story fast-paced. Sirius and James are typical but Lilly reminds me a bit of Hermione!!!1

CONS-
Why don't you lenghten your chapters a bit more, dear? It will keep the flow going. In this chapter we have only one incident to comment on. Don't make your fan-fiction chapters so short. It would be a pity that a promising writer like you merely confine to a short chapter.

hey natz
thnx a lot for d review, i really, really appreciate it 😊
& i promise, i'll try my very best to lengthen the chapters the next time onwards 😃
& yes, once again, thnk u sooooo much for the review 😊

Excellent chapter...[🤗

Yet again, little longer Shri, we'd like a little more of ur great writing! 😳

James Potter, Ooh, I simply love him!!! Hope he keeps up his normal stuff! And Lily Evans, lol.. what can I say!!!

Continue soon Shri, with along chapter, hopefully! 😳

awww,amazing yaar shri 😳
i donno abt short or long im used to reading all lengths frm rf 😆😉
cnt w8 to c wht happens wen lily sees all of james' trophies 😆😆😆..luved tht line 😉
cont soon 😳

jst 3 comments?
c'mon guys, itni buri hai kya?
plz comment & review na....
& pakka promise, next time se much longer chapters....

Hmmmm...see..I'm finally commenting!

Well...nice idea shri...I love Marauder era fics..esp all the James/Lily fics..

But the length is too short...it's like a 5 sec ad...write longer chapters...so that it can become more like a 1 hour soap 😆

Also...James n Sirius/ James Lily in detention is kinda deja vu for these kinda fics....

(sorry...I hv read millions n millions of M-era fics 😳 )

Great chap. Why cant u write longer chaps? Write soon.
-Aastha

so far so good.
a favour plz
keep ur chapter a bit longer..
thnx