Shoudl Abhira?

Poddar family, especially Kaveri and Vidya are kind of the worst grandmothers and mothers out there. Still better than Manjiri in my opinion. Especially Kaveri is such a villainess. She is like a dictator. All of them are snobbish and classist. Treats everyone else like crap. And Kaveri is so regressive, all the women in her household are miserable except for herself. She turns a blind eye to her own daughter's suffering at the hands of her daughter's husband and by giving him undue importance. 

so fellow forum wasiyon, please answer this poll, placing yourself at Abhira's place or maybe based on your own lives. 

The other day I was quite repulsed by this word "grateful" , that abhira must be grateful to the poddars for giving her shelter and food. Like seriously  Are they providing a bed and breakfast scheme to their bahus ? Or humiliating the girl day in and day out in lieu of those services ?

 Certain people will shame their bahus if she’s  involved with her family a lot but the same people will always consider Bahu  to be an outsider who has to feel grateful for being married into their home.

Ladies have it tough 

The thing is that people want Abhira to be greatful for her rights and not to utter a word against anyone. I mean we are talking about Armaan wife here and if not so it was Armaan persistence that she is living here or not she was ready to leave the same day of there marriage. He promised alot of things but not fulfilling even one. 

I don't want to blame Armaan for Akshara death but when Armaan is not greatful enought to take care of the daughter of his inspirational teacher who sacrificed her life while saving him then Abhira need not to even apologize to them or Armaan cause the words they utter is more than enough to leave them.

And aap ghar dekar gaali dene ka haq kisi ne nahi diya hain. Demanding respect is a two way road and also respect never demanded it is earned. Aap kitne bhi achee kam kar lo aapke ek galat shabd us ko pani mein dubba deta hain.

Ok so I realize that the post I made about being “grateful” wasn’t taken too well which I can understand why. I used grateful in the wrong term where you all thought that Abhira should be thanking everyone over and over again for accepting them in her family despite however they behave. What I meant by grateful was being compassionate towards them. In the past few scenes, especially with the courtroom drama, it felt like Abhira was just outspoken and so righteous that she’s become arrogant. I get that Armaan took her responsibility, but the thing is that Abhira should at the very least be kind. We have to think from the Poddar’s perspective - they’re very concerned about their image, want a certain type of bahu for their family, have regressive thoughts. For a family like this it is not easy to accept that their older son got married to someone without their knowing or permission let alone to the girl which they already disliked. I’m not siding with them but when you live in a family, you have to compromise both ways. The Poddars have done a lot for Abhira and Abhira has also shown that back. However it’s just things that Abhira does that make me feel like she acts entitled to everything. For example, she read Armaan’s file without permission and then went ahead and felt bad about Armaan’s words when he called her a chor. Like if you’ve done something that is chor-like then you will be assumed a chor especially when something so serious has happened. And she hasn’t once said sorry to Armaan for reading his file. If Armaan brought that up in court I’m sure her license would’ve been at least on probation. I’m not saying that nobody is not wrong, everybody is, but when things like this happen in a family, Abhira needs to learn to be compassionate. And that’s where the gratefulness part comes that she should just know that the family’s doing their job of accepting her and she should do her job of supporting the family. She ultimately does do that but she could’ve communicated her intentions or even shadowed Armaan for this case. 

kaun hai ye 2% log jinko abbuse pasand hai yaar ?

I am seriously concerned for those 3% people who is okay to take crap from in laws even if they insult your parents or family members.. 

Great!! 

Originally posted by: shahi10

Ok so I realize that the post I made about being “grateful” wasn’t taken too well which I can understand why. I used grateful in the wrong term where you all thought that Abhira should be thanking everyone over and over again for accepting them in her family despite however they behave. I hope you meant accepting her in Poddar family. Because if it is about Abhira accepting them (as in Poddar family) the idea of gratefulness do not occur.

Thank you for taking the time to put out this clarification. I still do not agree with your point though. Let me explain why. I am sure none of us who disagreed with you thought when you wrote grateful it meant Abhira should go around thanking everyone over and over again for letting her stay in the Poddar house. I cannot use the word accepting because the family clearly has NOT accepted her. 

 

What I meant by grateful was being compassionate towards them. In the past few scenes, especially with the courtroom drama, it felt like Abhira was just outspoken and so righteous that she’s become arrogant. I get that Armaan took her responsibility, but the thing is that Abhira should at the very least be kind.

As far as I understand she is very compassionate to the family. She was willing to sacrifice herself for Vidya's safety seeing Armaan's sadness. When Rohit went missing, it was Abhira who went around trying to find him. She took care of Ruhi multiple times. When Abhira got her first salary she bought gifts for everyone including dadi sa which she didn't even accept. She always took Charu's or Krish's side and fought for their rights. She has always been kind. She has put her viewpoint across only when the other person was blabbering regressive and offensive things. And when she first announced, she got the case, she asked dadi sa very politely whether dadi sa has any part in it. If Kaveri had said even angrily she has no part, Abhira would have accepted it. But Kaveri's ego is too high she didn't even answer it.  And why would Abhira blindly trust Kaveri is not capable of doing it. Especially considering her regressive thoughts and classist behaviour. Like Kaveri clearly has expressed horrible views about Abhira's mom, Armaan's mom and another woman who was suing a big company. So, why would Abhira think Kaveri is innocent in this? Later, Abhira said hard words against Kaveri only because Kaveri started giving her thaanes and abusing her dead mother. 

 We have to think from the Poddar’s perspective - they’re very concerned about their image, want a certain type of bahu for their family, have regressive thoughts. For a family like this it is not easy to accept that their older son got married to someone without their knowing or permission let alone to the girl which they already disliked. I’m not siding with them but when you live in a family, you have to compromise both ways.

Sorry, can't agree with you. Poddar's being a horrible family and having regressive thoughts is not a problem of Abhira. It is their problem. When you have such cheap and regressive ideas in the 21st century, you are bound to be questioned by someone or the other. The rest of the family members are not quiet because they think Kaveri is right or anything. They are only quiet because they are scared of her and that woman acts like a jail warden. Just because they are concerned about their image but in real are horrible people, they should get a free pass? They can abuse their daughter-in-laws and DILs can't even give it back? 

The Poddars have done a lot for Abhira and Abhira has also shown that back. 

Poddars has done nothing for Abhira. Yes, Armaan has definitely but not enough. She is actually where she is despite Poddars. They have made it impossible for her to continue her studies and work. And once she outsmarted them, Kaveri deliberately made it difficult for her to work by giving her additional responsibilities in the house. Like making her cook breakfast for some 15 people and not even letting her eat the breakfast she cooked at the dining table. She was forced not to go to the office because of Ruhi's mistake which Ruhi didn't accept and only blamed Abhira by playing the victim. 

However it’s just things that Abhira does that make me feel like she acts entitled to everything. For example, she read Armaan’s file without permission and then went ahead and felt bad about Armaan’s words when he called her a chor. Like if you’ve done something that is chor-like then you will be assumed a chor especially when something so serious has happened. And she hasn’t once said sorry to Armaan for reading his file. If Armaan brought that up in court I’m sure her license would’ve been at least on probation. I’m not saying that nobody is not wrong, everybody is, but when things like this happen in a family, Abhira needs to learn to be compassionate. And that’s where the gratefulness part comes that she should just know that the family’s doing their job of accepting her and she should do her job of supporting the family. She ultimately does do that but she could’ve communicated her intentions or even shadowed Armaan for this case. 

I think we should keep away from talking about law or any kind of profession or its intricacies. Because there would have been a writ/subpoena sent to the Poddar firm asking to provide the opposition law firm with all the important documents. And Armaan can't hide these documents. It is not like Abhira read his strategies on how to win the case and used it against him. Let's not go in there at all. Because ITV knows nothing about professions and they don't even bother to research. Abhira hasn't done anything to get suspended or debarred. 

Like I said the family hasn't done anything to accept her. She has to fight for even the bare minimum of consideration and appreciation she gets. And people are always accusing her of things she didn't do. Like for Ruhi's mistakes or Charu's or Sanjay's. You are free to correct me by pointing out what the family has done to accept her. As far as I am concerned any other girl with a modicum of self-respect would have left this family and gone on to live her life, unfortunately, Abhira has to stay in the Poddar prison otherwise there won't be a story. 

My only point is..why expect the fl to fit into this perfect mold of a kind compassionate sacrificing person when all she's served is humiliation? If poddards were this kind & loving family, and abhira barks at them uselessly , it was a diff matter....abhira didn't choose this life ..it was akshara who proposed and Arman who accepted ....in her mind poddars are not her family, they didnt accept her & vice versa...still she tries to do everything that's expected of her..poddars need to stop being so judgemental abt her ..respect is a two way street 

areee aap itne dinon baad...how have u been...