Disclaimer: This is long and might lack structure lol I needed to rant so I wrote it down then I thought to share it so I edited and posting it here. Its kinda insane that the last time I wrote anything on this show was for Abhira as their shipper around confession, now I have very, very different opinions.😆
When this gen began, Akshara expressed how she wanted time to have "khud se khud ka rishta". Self love was what she needed after growing up in a home where she was emotionally neglected, object of her sister's anger and bullying. She was always a "mature" kid. The silent, understanding one. Arohi was an achiever, spoke openly, loved attention. When you have kids like that its parent's responsibility to not let the silent one become invisible. Sirat(We don’t see Karthik during the teen phase so can't comment on him) used to be the one to give attention to Akshara, understand her, give her credit, correct Arohi when she goes overboard etc. While Arohi was still the Princess of the house, Akshara was not invisible. Then the truth of the sisters being half siblings came out and the slight jealousy that Arohi used to have turned into insecurity. Which then channelled into hatred after Sirat's death.
Akshara found out her mom was actually her step mom, her real mom died, she was living a lie all these years(She took it well though. Shows her good upbringing and her understanding nature.) Then lost both her parents, and her beloved sister too cuz Arohi now hates her. Her brothers were in hostel and these two kids were left to be raised by their grandparents and great grandparent. Arohi's bullying would often result into her family shutting both of them while she wouldn't be at fault(we see that after tilak 1.0 too). She is emotionally neglected. She doesn’t have the parental figure who keeps her from becoming invisible. She learnt to shut up and keep her feelings to herself, her words to herself because no one would listen or if they do, they won't understand. She has anxiety, unable to think when someone used to shout at/around her, gets panic attacks. She loves music and made it her coping mechanism. She is understanding, empathetic, patient. She is also smart, as we see in her jam business or during Ruby's case. She can use saam, daam, dand, bhed to protect her family. Right or wrong, her loved ones protection is above everything. She has always been selfless and naïve to the point of stupidity in some cases. (She jumped into fire to save someone else, she literally got a stranger(Anisha) to her house to help then got scolded by Swarna, went to save a kid and missed her interview). She was never ambitious about her career because she didn’t want accolades or achievements. She wanted to help people, her talent is music and she found a way to use it to help people. It didn’t matter to her where she worked or in what position she would be hired for, she wanted to help people and if she gets to do so using her favourite, her lifeline, her music it would be cherry on cake.
I expected her "khud se khud ka rishta" will happen through Abhi. After meeting him, being the object of his extreme love, having clearly seen Arohi's intentions and behaviour, having someone who stood by her defending her against Arohi's accusations, someone who believed in her, wished and wanted her to get fame and achieve things, who pampered her and showered with care and affection she was able to see herself from his pov. She even said that Abhi helped her have that "khud se khud ka rishta".
After marriage she had put Abhi as her highest priority, but Abhimanyu had seen his mom choose his dad over him throughout his life and seeing Akshara choose Arohi or her family over and over had deepened his insecurity. He couldn't see that she changed. He doesn't trust her words. He held grudges against her for all the hurt cuz they never communicated properly.
It doesn't help that growing up he had to be one of those kids who had to act like the parent instead of just being a kid. I think Manjari being in an abusive marriage and a family who looks down on her due to their superiority of being doctors became emotionally dependent on Abhi and he seeing his mom being mistreated, hurt and crying all the time became somewhat like a parent, seeking to not cause her any pain or hurt and super protective of her. Even now Manjari and him has this weird co-dependency where he talks to her like he is talking to Ruhi, a kid, to make her understand things, to not hurt her in anyway while also holding her to a position where her words are the truth no matter what. He defends her for anything and everything, from the tilak 1.0 mixup to Neil's adoption truth.
Another big reason is Abhimanyu doesn't know how to emotionally regulate. He is at the mercy of his emotions and when he has to do something he doesn’t want, he doesn’t feel like, he acts out. His love is extreme, the object of his love will be pampered beyond anything but so are his other emotions. His anger, his ego, his hatred.
Akshara came to know Abhimanyu the lover. Later she slowly started being the object of his other extremes too. Leap 1 base was stupid but the point of it/narrative was Akshara believed in Abhimanyu and his love so much, she was dreaming of their happy reunion. But Abhimanyu had his claws out believing his insecurity of Akshara not loving him over everyone. The thing is, even when she said that she left him for his well-being(he used to be so sad for his hand's injury and crying that he can't do surgery anymore and being surgeon was/is his first love) or that she got Kairav's proof of innocence, he doesn't believe her. He went on to test her love by sending divorce papers. Oh it didn’t matter how that action would show that he doesn’t want her, she should know better na? She should have threw or tear them and begged him to not leave her to show that she does love him just as much. But she chose her self-respect. How could she? He didn't believe her words till he actually saw proof for what she said(both for Kairav's innocence and her love). He had to listen to tapes and read letters Akshara wrote during that 1 year that Kairav gave to him to believe that she was longing for him and loved him just as much. Then he went to woo her back.
Akshara tried to resist, thought about the second chance then gave in. She addressed his trust issues. And they had a few happy months. Then came the fateful day Neil died while they were saving some girls from human trafficking. In grief, Akshara became the scapegoat for Neil and her babies' death. The guy who healed her, helped her out of her sister's accusations came to agree with that sister. He blamed her for Neil's death, who was like her brother, her babies' death, whom she fought to keep, and her Sirat ma, whose dealt blames she suffered for years.
All this while she accepted his temper, his tendency to be controlling, his ego, his my way or high way, she accepted the flaws she saw in him by focusing on his good things. She loved him for him. But was he able to accept all her flaws? No.
Pre-confession I though they will get to know each other in their courting phase. It didn’t happen. Then I thought it will happen after marriage like gen 1 but over and over we see something happens and they are at odds, he doesn’t trust her words and blindly believes his mom's reasoning and blames her(adoption truth). Most of their "reunions" are because they get physically close, can't resist each other, remindin gthemselves we love each other. They don’t actually address and problem solve their shit.
Leap 1 was a goodpoint to address it and though the execution was super bad, it addressed Abhi's trust issues(so many didn’t understand what trust issues are they talking about cuz of bad execution) and suddenly they were a happy couple fighting against all troubles together. I believe this was the period Rajan Shahi says the leads were too perfect and there was no long term arc going on in the bg. They experimented with Arohi being the villain but it didn’t seem to work out so they rushed with leap 2 instead of a drawn out build up.
The base of leap 2 is similar to what happened after leap 1. Akshara true to her nature does something, which can be very stupid, for selfless reasons. Whatever she does hurts both Abhimanyu and Akshara but Abhimanyu believes his hurt to be superior. Blames her for what she did, doesn't trust her words or vehemently disagrees with her choices and in anger, divorces her. The first divorce was clearly a tactic to test she loves him and while the 2nd divorce looks like it's not for the same reason, I think his repeated dialogues of how she left him shows that he expected her to come back to him begging to take her back/resist the divorce. Was he expecting a version of "That yes Abhi I'll listen to you and do as you say. I won't make my own choices. I will do as you say cuz I love you above everyone even my own self and individuality. You only know the best."? He fails to understand that she is her own person and loving her means all her flaws included. And she was physically, mentally and emotionally hurt that day. She was at the human trafficking incident, and had a freaking miscarriage andwatched her devar (basically brother) beaten to death. If he was not in a state to think properly, she was in much worse.
She believed his accusations though. And everyone's as well. She does consider herself the cause of their misfortune, she thinks Abhir's illness is divine punishment for her sins. She regrets coming back to Udaipur after her studies to the point she doesn’t go back for 6 years. The one time she did, she was again blamed, insulted, her family doesn't defend her and when she says its ok I'll never come here again those insensitive idiot of a family she has says nothing to comfort and reassure her😵. Everyone is happy without her.
The one hope and reason for her to live was and is Abhir. Akshara didn’t hesitate to call Abhimanyu to share this hope with him. But all she got was rejection, insensitiveness, accusations and outright disrespect among other things. Again, he didn’t listen to her words, he didn’t trust her when she said she has something important to share. He took away her right to mourn for her kids, her brother figure, to support her family in their grief, to get support in her grief and threw her past trauma on her face. Like she said, she feared Abhir being taken away from her. Because with the way she is being treated now, will her words have value if she goes back? Will it again fall on deaf ears? Will her words be trusted? She will go back to being neglected like before and her only hope, her kid will be taken away too. And her fears are being proven right.
She is only angry at Abhimanyu and not others because he was the one who made her feel she is not a cause of misfortune, is someone to be loved, that she didn’t deserve all the bullying and accusations from her sister to him agreeing to those very things. Effectively breaking her. Made tall promises of love, showered her with affection when he wanted and deprive her when he wanted. Like she said, he never considered her a part of his family. And most importantly for her, she was hoping that he loves her enough that after his intial outbust he would come to her, try to hear what she wanted to say and they can work it out, and they can be together again, so she can go back to the man she loves so much. But he doesn't.
IMO, to him she was his healer. His. He wanted her cuz she and her music brings peace to his heart and mind. Like a drug. He wanted her to relieve himself of all the trauma and anxiety his shitty family causes him. But she is not actually a drug, she is a living breathing human with her own individuality, her own flaws, her own way of thinking and dealing with things which often are at odds with what he wants or his family wants. Then she goes from being his drug that soothes him to something like a hangover after a wasted night, so he gets angry, calls their marriage a mistake and in general acts out. He wants her to give him peace again, to sooth him while is kicking and throwing tantrums without realising that he is hurting her so much.
Abhimanyu needs to learn hadh for his extremeness. Hadd se zyada kuch acha nahi hota, pyar bhinahi. Anyone heard about Jennifer's beyhadh? Same concept. Abhi still has good qualities and can learn to be a better person. Yes a better person because being able to handle his emotions, sticking to his promises, maintaining respect are something a sensible adult should be able to do.
But does that mean Abhira need to reunite? Why does Abhimanyu's redemption mean their reunion and not just as a character? Especially pitted against someone like Abhinav?
Abhinav is the opposite of Abhimanyu. On paper Abhimanyu would be anyone's choice. AbhiM is educated, a topper in school/college, top surgeon, rich, handsome, a 6 pack body, charismatic, intelligent, ambitious, super confident. AbhiN is less educated, he barely knows english, a driver/tourist, poor, average looking regular guy, naïve, not ambitious for himself, lacks confidence.
But Akshara says she would choose Abhinav as her husband however many times she gets to choose. Because he gave her what no one else did and what she expected and believed Abhimanyu would give her. Freedom to make her own choices, her words to be heard, understood and trusted, to give her space to think, understand, to not push her but still stop her when she is about to do something she'll regret(like taking Abhir to Udaipur for surgery.) Like any good husband should. (or any healthy relationship)
[Oh also some important differences I find in both characters but not really related to this post lol are: While both believe in charity, helping and standing up for people when they see injusitice, AbhiM has a lot of attitude, is confident and self-righteous to the point being egoistic sometimes, lacks empathy when he is involved in the situation etc while AbhiN tries to empathise/understand everyone, extremely patient, also stands for injustice but appraoch is different*, because he is an orphan he finds his sense of identity in doing good acts and being a good person(hence often calls himself accha admi or gets triggered and defensive when someone says he is not a good man) which can come off as bragging.
*I say this with how they dealt with Arohi. AbhiM called her out, shows attitude before knowing AK-AR r/s, doesnt try to mend them, feels insecure when AK chose her etc vs AbhiN who tried to talk to AR and mend the sisters r/s, defends Akshara but doesnt invalidate Arohi. AR pre leap did a lot of villainous acts so I do get AbhB's approach after he knew her though lol But the difference is interesting.]
Akshara changed after the fateful day, she doesn’t help everyone anymore, she doesn't trust naively etc. But Abhinav has that same quality in him. He has the naivety, selflessness of the Akshu who came to Udaipur after her studies. Maybe that’s why she gets him. When he was convincing her to invite Doctor sirji for dinner, she said that she was wishing he would be selfless and understanding towards her and Abhir but change for others, which was wrong of her. He shouldn't change himself, that’s his nature. How interesting and how sad that Abhimanyu couldn't do that for her. He wanted her to remain the same selfless loving Akshu for him but different for others. She did change though, after breaking badly.
There is a lot of gratitude in Akshara's heart for Abhinav. He did things that her family didn’t when he doesn’t have to. She saw his character, his nature, his behaviour for months (longer than she knew Abhimanyu before she married him), the way he would willingly without any grudges or complaints keeps his word, she could see someone who can love her kid selflessly and prioritise his wellbeing over everything then asked him selfishly to become her kid's father. He agreed selfishly too cuz he was attached to the kid and longed for a family.
By making him the father, Akshara closed the door of going back to Abhimanyu. She hoped and subconsciously waited for Abhimanyu to come to her and they can somehow move on from this nightmare and live like a happy family. She did so till Abhir was born. Abimanyu had months after his initial fit to take action, set things right, to talk, to do something but he didnt. So she finally let go. (Maybe things could have still changed if Abhi came to her in the first few years when Abhir was too young to understand anything.) But after so many years, its what Sai wanted to do by marrying Satya in Ghum. Though she loves Virat, to stop herself from going back and to stop Virat as well, to not be the one who wrecks someone's home, to respect herself she married Satya. Similarly I believe by making Abhinav as Abhir's father and marrying him she closed all doors to Abhimanyu. Expect unlike Sai who wanted to show Virat that she can move on and love someone else, the main reason Akshara did was so that Abhir wont long for a father, he will never know the truth and there won't be a point where her kid can be snatched away. And IMO the other reason is, in a weak moment she won't be able to go back to AbhiM as the countless times she did before.
I think the second reason is because like I mentioned before most if not all their reunions are because they give in to their emotions. Anyone with self-respect won't go back after the white day events, but saying is easier than doing, so she built a life for her son and herself to protect themselves. And its ok to do that, she is not wrong in it. People move out of cities, make drastic changes to their life and put boundaries and restrictions for themselves so they won't repeat their mistakes.
In all this she found her "sabse pyara rishta" in abhinav. She only wanted him as her kid's father. But he became her partner in dealing with life. He never crossed her boundaries, let her process things at her own pace, and trusts her word among other things. They dealt with so many everyday life problems, the good and the bad for 6 long years. She finds her life in kasauli, the home they built together, the most peaceful and happiest place. She thanks god every day for her life there.
But she hasn't found closure to her past though so when Abhimanyu showed up and she got a chance, she gave it back to him and Mimi's bday wala Udaipur trip just proved her fears and worries, the blames and insults dont stop, her family stands mute, and she finds herself in a weak moment when she sees Abhi's accident. Its proved to her that her decisions were right, her fears are right and she steels herself. When Abhimanyu proposes her, she strongly confronts, asks the question she wanted to ask, if Neil survived and she didnt, would he have done the same? and finds closure. She has made great progress since then. Singing again, facing UD again for Abhir, facing her fears etc. She is healing.
I think a part of her would always love Abhimanyu. Like first love. But since the closure from mandir confrontation there have been instances where Akshara didnt show any concern when Abhimanyu got hurt, doesnt think about his feelings/how it would affect him, doesnt get flashbacks of him/ their time etc, she isn't in love with him.
When she found out Abhinav has feelings for her, she decided to give their relationship a chance. (She wants to heal from the hurt as she said to Abhinav when they went to the restaurant before UD trip as well). When they did the sindoor and mangalsutra rituals she said the base of their marriage is their friendship and mutual respect. She wants it to succeed and she is pushing herself to open her heart to the possibilty of their relationship, to move on from her past and give a proper chance to them. Not forcing herself though she hates it but rather trying and testing waters like in arranged marriage, so far as per the narrative.
But let's say that she still does love Abhimanyu, that she has not moved on. Does that mean she has to go back to him? Does having feelings enough to give a 3rd chance to a relationship after how badly the last time ended? Especially when a kid is involved and you have a healthy relationship with the possibility of it being a healthy loving romantic relationship in time?
Theres a dialogue that Akshara herself said regarding Abhirohi marriage discussion about how a young girl might wear high heels how ever painful it may be but a mother wont. When she was on her own she could give multiple chances and make whatever choices. But she has a young kid, who will be affected by her decisions.
If she goes back to Abhimanyu what's the guarantee that he won't divorce her again and even snatch abhir while at that. What's the guarantee that she won't be pushed to just be Abhir's mother or rather caretaker's role if something happens again? Would she have a say in her own kid's life or Abhi and his mother's decisions be final in such cases? Not knowing when the ball will drop, unprectable reactions, instability...But by her own dialogues it implies its because of Abhinav and the life they built in Kasauli, Akshara truly was able to make a rishta with herself. She still falls week sometimes but she seeks Abhinav for strength and wishes for his support. A happy place, a happy family, a peaceful life, a supporting partner, a good childhood for your kid, freedom to do your will, respected, loved and a stable life.
What would any sane person choose and fight for it to happen/stay that way?😳
She can take her time to move on, she can take her time to get comfortable in her relationship with Abhinav, he won't push her. They can spend years to make it work. I do believe she already loves him, though platonically. She defends him vehemently like she does for the people she loves. She cares for him, fights for his rights, relies on him, admires him, respects him, shows rights on him. She could fall in love given time to work on their relationship. She has stopped her heart from the very idea of romantic love, it would take her time to give it a chance. But going back to Abhimanyu would be the stupidest thing she could do even if she still has feelings for him. Everything she did all these years, her self-respect, the life that she built, all that she did to protect herself, confusing the heck out of her kid, hurting the man who was her biggest support all these years, all for what? Irresistible attraction? An addiction to toxic relationships? Soulmates? Not all soulmates marry each other. You can end up loving people who are not right or good for you or you become a version of yourself you dont like when you are with them etc where you let go, set some boudaries and move on.
But I know this is ITV though and Janiyee still plays on motage and promos. Abhira is still the endgame for makers. But we are at a point where Abhimanyu saying sorry won’t redeem him enough for Abhira reunion.
- Making Abhinav negative would just make Akshara look bad. She couldn't find the true nature of a man she knew, lived with, called her bestie for six years🤪 And not to mention proving all those who bash her for all her decisions regarding AbhiN and find him creepy to be right.
- Either Ak or AbhiN leaving each other cuz she still loves AbhiM just makes all these years, the character growth, all the efforts she put to move on and build a live for years, all that she did to protect her self respect etc go to garage can. Like I said above, they can work on their relationship, both are happy and patient enough to let things happen at their pace, and both are commited to live life together. Just because you love something that's toxic, doesnt mean you have to have that in your life. You can learn to love healthy things. Move forward.
- Even if Abhinav dies, a long drawn painful redemption of Abhimanyu, change and growth with a slow burn reunion that Akshara should resist for years (in universe) is the only way to make Abhira likeable from a story and characetr perspective. Not for her ego but because she has seen what & how a healthy relationship and partner is and should be, to not give in for anything less. I dont really mind FL having multiple relationships over the course of the show. But a superfast reunion/ giving in here would be like she took advantage of Abhinav's naivety, love, respect etc. Let her honour his memory by continue being the sherni she was/is in Kasauli and doesnt bow for anyone less than him. This probably is what the makes are going for but knowing how they handle execution, I lack any cofindence for it to happen tastefully🥱.I might just stop watching altogether after Abhinav's death if/when sasta reunion happens lol
What I would prefer though is the scenario where at the end, Abhimanyu and Akshara eventually are healed enough to forge a healthy friendship and respect between them, we get a scene where they have a open honest conversation where they thank each other for coming into each others lives, smile and then turn around and leave in opposite directions to their respective little families(Abhimanyu with Arohi and Ruhi (or someone else he falls for and marries) and Akshara with Abhinav and Abhir) while a shayari plays in bg(cuz they seem to love doing this🤪) summarizing that they are an example of either soulmates who brought a hurricane in each others life but found companionship and love in someone else or two people who loved, fell apart, found second love in others, healed, forgived etc. We see both families happy and having fun and boom roll credits, then jump to next gen or shut the show.
comment:
p_commentcount