Shiv / Surili - Differences or Red flags?

Shiv's anger and refusal to listen to Surili because she didn't share her problems with him prompted me to open this topic. 

We all know that Shiv and Surili are extremely different people.. in fact they are polar opposites.

Some key differences amidst the many -

Surili is free-spirited and believes in living each day as it comes while Shiv lives each day with a plan. He has a tight schedule and knows what he wants from his life, his family, his work and now Surili.

Shiv sees the world in a black and white way, where everything is absolute - its either yes or no, either everything or nothing while Surili sees the world in greys where emotions and decisions aren't a simple yes or no.

Surili values comfort while Shiv is image-conscious.

While differences aren't always bad, and sometimes open doors to new experiences and help keep excitement alive in a relationship, some differences can make it difficult for two people to see eye to eye in a relationship and drive a wedge between them.

My question is - are these merely differences that you think they can work around, or are these red flags that they are ignoring?

Don't just limit your discussion to Shiv / Surili. Please feel free to bring in your real life experiences.😊

Beautiful written.. actually this is what I was trying to say in my post.. 

U have mentioned all the point correctly..Ihe was so angry with surili even though they are not committed in any ways..

I was actually very surprised at his behaviour...he is madly in love with her compare to surili.. still he is not ready to compromise or forgive her easily..

Generally ppl in this phase ignore this..

Well written characters.. 

I also thought Shivendra being so mad at Surili was dragged. I mean okay she did not tell you when she was in crises, but you guys have not even started dating. Also she explained him "aadat nhi hai na help maangne ki" which made total sense. At that point I thought he will understand.

But may be that is his flaw. He is not perfect!

They do communicate well but they still need progression! 

It is his aadat... which need for get milder

No even I was super pissed at him being angry like that. I was like, man back off, she’s being honest and telling you she hasn’t had any one to lean on in the past. But, his constant rants did irk me a lot.

On your post. I feel that we’ve been shown a lot of differences in their personalities and lifestyles. But it’s not even that opposites attract.

At their core, I find Surili and Shiv to be very similar! Both are headstrong. They are extremely committed to their work..

Both believe family is the love of their lives. And in many ways they had to grow up faster and assume more responsibilities than their loved ones.

They both are very understanding and empathetic towards their loved ones - the way Surili also understands Pammi Maasi, and Shiv understands his mother’s insecurities with the city

Last, both are righteous and justice driven. Whether it’s Surili returning Shiv’s free gramophone CDs, or Shiv ending his contract w Talwar over values and conduct.

What do you guys think?

Originally posted by: Sunaina612

Beautiful written.. actually this is what I was trying to say in my post.. 

U have mentioned all the point correctly..Ihe was so angry with surili even though they are not committed in any ways..

I was actually very surprised at his behaviour...he is madly in love with her compare to surili.. still he is not ready to compromise or forgive her easily..

Generally ppl in this phase ignore this..

Well written characters.. 

Exactly. They are not even in a relationship and he was so pissed.

Even if they were in a relationship, there's something called space and understanding. She even explained that she is not used to sharing and he didn't empathize. He just wanted his way.

Based on what we've seen so far, he seems very possessive and unforgiving. And his comment to his brother that he doesn't change for anybody is very telling.. he is willing to change where it suits him like wearing informal attire but he won't compromise on bigger things. The way he declared to his mother that he will now protect Surili and her family gave me mixed feelings. On one hand, it was romantic and macho-ish but on the other hand, very problematic because he wants to take the reigns of her life in his hands.

Originally posted by: television.fan

No even I was super pissed at him being angry like that. I was like, man back off, she’s being honest and telling you she hasn’t had any one to lean on in the past. But, his constant rants did irk me a lot.

On your post. I feel that we’ve been shown a lot of differences in their personalities and lifestyles. But it’s not even that opposites attract.

At their core, I find Surili and Shiv to be very similar! Both are headstrong. They are extremely committed to their work..

Both believe family is the love of their lives. And in many ways they had to grow up faster and assume more responsibilities than their loved ones.

They both are very understanding and empathetic towards their loved ones - the way Surili also understands Pammi Maasi, and Shiv understands his mother’s insecurities with the city

Last, both are righteous and justice driven. Whether it’s Surili returning Shiv’s free gramophone CDs, or Shiv ending his contract w Talwar over values and conduct.

What do you guys think?

Yeah he seems very possessive and unforgiving. Also he insists on having his way. 

Agree on their similarities! 

And looking at the way it's going, one has to bend and Shiv doesn't seem like the one who will bend. Their relationship is definitely gonna be both smooth-sailing and in this case, their similarities won't do them any favours either.

I have a feeling they are setting up Dia's issue to drive the wedge between Shiv / Surili further. I think that Surili is going to hide Monty because of Dia and Shiv is not going to like that. 

Originally posted by: Saabs_123456

I also thought Shivendra being so mad at Surili was dragged. I mean okay she did not tell you when she was in crises, but you guys have not even started dating. Also she explained him "aadat nhi hai na help maangne ki" which made total sense. At that point I thought he will understand.

But may be that is his flaw. He is not perfect!

They do communicate well but they still need progression! 

I don't think it was dragged. The writers were making a point. Shiv is possessive and unforgiving. 

I think they talk.. but I wonder if they're truly communicating. Other than the conversation they had about their respective fathers, it's all been just flirting really which isn't a bad thing. But given that they are going to get married soon, the mum isn't wrong - what does he really know about her?

Yes, they're both nice people who are attracted to each other but really what do they know about each other? They are similar in many ways, but they are equally different in so many ways..

Doubt their relationship will be smooth-sailing.

Yes he is very possessive and not forgiving person..Shiv is just like his mom  with little generation gap wala difference.. I dont think he will bend..will expect surili to agree with his views on major decisions.. and surili also being strong headed will find it difficult to agree.with him all the time..so far she is the boss of herself.. when Shiv will take that role let see what happens and how surili deals with Shiv ?

Originally posted by: Sunaina612

Yes he is very possessive and not forgiving person..Shiv is just like his mom  with little generation gap wala difference.. I dont think he will bend..will expect surili to agree with his views on major decisions.. and surili also being strong headed will find it difficult to agree.with him all the time..so far she is the boss of herself.. when Shiv will take that role let see what happens and how surili deals with Shiv ?

I don't think so. See at 36, having lived a certain way, been given several privileges not just being from a royal family but also on account of being the successor to a throne, there have to be many ingrained thought processes in him.

One shouldn't expect he will be completely flexible or just adapt so easily. 

Now that being said, he did show both ethics and flexibility - first when he went to the market area to fix Surili's gramophone. And second, when he understood that Surili freed the Driver in the forest - but didn't make a scene about it infront of his security. He even gave that man a job.

So I won't call him a replica of his mother, as that is too derogatory looking at Rani's trajectory right now. 

But yes, there are several mannerisms about him which are likely to cause conflicts and challenges in the future.