Malini and a tennis ball -- questions - Page 2

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Aarthi_01 thumbnail
Posted: 1 years ago
#11

As far as I have heard abt ppd from friends they did say they were irritated to the core especially the second baby.. but as for Malini 

She literally spent a night with a man whom she drugged and got pregnant and kept on using the unborn child to her use.. just to grab that man from her sister, she did all sins bearing the child, the child was her pawn even before it was born that she became a phycho and couldn't even differentiate btwn wats right and wats wrng.. just see the pf epi the way she speaks,.. she was let go off by the T's just  becoz she was pregnant..

Later she dint want to keep the baby she went in for an abortion there she saw her sister once again being married and she thought to keep the baby . And later use the baby to revenge on her sister.. she literally raised the baby as a scape goat.. otherwise wic grandma would worry abt hospital bills even if the mom is suffering from ppd.. 

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#12

Originally posted by: MrinalR

Thanks for the tag. The post is well explanatory. Your efforts are admirable. 👏

After Malini's entry when I came know that she is trying to use her daughter I was wondering how much vengeful she is. Then after certain point postpartum depression thought did occur my mind too but by the fact that this is ITV I said better not put my mind in that. Because even I have heard of people who are close to me about PP and how much they sometimes hated the child. Here I felt sometimes she did suffer from PP but the effect got elevated because of her revenge. As you said she did concentrate only on the negative things that happened to her. But going by ITV standard what Sur says is possible that gundiya might not be her biological child. ITV can take turns anytime. But yes as usual Mayuri is doing exceptionally well in whatever she is given. Let's see what approach makers will take

I feel like imlie is such a weird show in that they tease us with potential arcs of great writing and then drop the ball into absurd dismal nonsense. 😆

there were some shows like bepannah which I loved for showing complex portrayal of marriage, infidelity. so I think some shows are capable of that kind of work where they don't go for typical ITV tropes and instead try to showcase the complexities of the real world. 

however, mental health and trauma can be difficult for most dramas. so I don't have high hopes that they will take a complex villain route but I think it is cool that mayuri as an actress is showing she is more than capable for it. I can tell in the scenes where she handles the baby that there is lot more going on in her head than what is obvious. if they do go for a more complex villain, then we are in for a ride and a very long arc -- you can't have a complex villain in a short 50 eps or less. 

Param-Sundari thumbnail
Posted: 1 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

to be honest, am not sure about your first question. based on my interaction with this poster from another forum and what I remembered from her story, she said she disliked her child intensely and it was super confusing for her and her husband because they went through IVF and many struggles to get this child. so I think it might depend on a case to case basis? 

yea, I do agree with you that they are most likely showing malini as psycho to justify imlie's obsession... however, I just thought I will post as food for thought that in the real world, it can be really more complex. it is good to be aware that motherhod is complicated for many and not as straightforward. 

Yea totally understand the motive behind this. And all the research is commendable.

There are a lot of things we wouldn't know without experience and motherhood is one of them.

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: sur91

That's the issue. It's not as if she is childless or can't have children of her own. She is 20 year old who is pregnant herself. Showing affection towards a kid is one thing and obsessing over them another.

But yet again in Imlie everything is rushed. In every episode Gudiya is shown just crying and no one to take care of her so at the end on whose shoulders would her upbringing fall?? Imlie 😒

I can't understand the obsession either. it is one reason I keep ffd her scenes with the baby because it does not make sense to me. if they had shown imlie as infertile and therefore latching on to this baby, it would have made more sense to me. 

they are also trying to show how imlie is a super mom while malini is not because she is villain. when I read stuff about PPD and hearing others experience, I feel uncomfortable seeing such broad filmy strokes about motherhood -- why not show moms as just regular people and of all kinds instead of this filmy drama? why can't we have nuanced and complex stories about motherhood? 

but yea, am still not able to understand why everything is so rushed in imlie. I keep thinking if the show is in danger of cancellation and hence the werid rushed arcs. 

sur91 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

I feel like imlie is such a weird show in that they tease us with potential arcs of great writing and then drop the ball into absurd dismal nonsense. 😆

there were some shows like bepannah which I loved for showing complex portrayal of marriage, infidelity. so I think some shows are capable of that kind of work where they don't go for typical ITV tropes and instead try to showcase the complexities of the real world. 

however, mental health and trauma can be difficult for most dramas. so I don't have high hopes that they will take a complex villain route but I think it is cool that mayuri as an actress is showing she is more than capable for it. I can tell in the scenes where she handles the baby that there is lot more going on in her head than what is obvious. if they do go for a more complex villain, then we are in for a ride and a very long arc -- you can't have a complex villain in a short 50 eps or less. 

But bepannah didn't get good ratings that's why it was pulled off air. That's what happens with shows which are different. TRP audience don't accept them.
And in itv a character has no complexity, they are either black or white. Grey characters are not handled well. So Malini can be here for a long run but her mental health won't be explored. She would be shown as a complete villain who has gone mad 

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: Aarthi_01

As far as I have heard abt ppd from friends they did say they were irritated to the core especially the second baby.. but as for Malini 

She literally spent a night with a man whom she drugged and got pregnant and kept on using the unborn child to her use.. just to grab that man from her sister, she did all sins bearing the child, the child was her pawn even before it was born that she became a phycho and couldn't even differentiate btwn wats right and wats wrng.. just see the pf epi the way she speaks,.. she was let go off by the T's just  becoz she was pregnant..

Later she dint want to keep the baby she went in for an abortion there she saw her sister once again being married and she thought to keep the baby . And later use the baby to revenge on her sister.. she literally raised the baby as a scape goat.. otherwise wic grandma would worry abt hospital bills even if the mom is suffering from ppd.. 

yup -- that would be the straightforward villain arc with malicious intentions. most likely that is what we are going to get. but there are a few scenes where mayuri is doing very subtle nuances that show it might be more complex and not as straightforward. it is more likely the actress interpretation rather than the writing itself. 

Aarthi_01 thumbnail
Posted: 1 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

yup -- that would be the straightforward villain arc with malicious intentions. most likely that is what we are going to get. but there are a few scenes where mayuri is doing very subtle nuances that show it might be more complex and not as straightforward. it is more likely the actress interpretation rather than the writing itself. 

may b MD improvises it i have heard of actors improvising scenes to make it look real

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: sur91

But bepannah didn't get good ratings that's why it was pulled off air. That's what happens with shows which are different. TRP audience don't accept them.
And in itv a character has no complexity, they are either black or white. Grey characters are not handled well. So Malini can be here for a long run but her mental health won't be explored. She would be shown as a complete villain who has gone mad 

I feel the only time we have complex villains in ITV is the mother-in-laws -- because eventually they have to be forgiven and everyone lives happy. 🤣 so rather than a mad villain, we have notes of complexity that make them easier to redeem in some ways. 

I don't mind if they have malini as a mad villain -- she is kind of cool in how she uses her brains. better than jo universe baba, thank goodness! 

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Posted: 1 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: Aarthi_01

may b MD improvises it i have heard of actors improvising scenes to make it look real

I also do wonder if her personal tragedy had something with it. I learned through enlightened that mayuri lost her husband to depression suicide. this happened during the lockdown period. so she might be interested from a personal perspective in injecting some complexities into the character of malini and have a different understanding of depression as she saw it from close quarters. 

wasra thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

had some thoughts yesterday but wanted to watch the episode before I comment. 

when I saw malini get frustrated with gudiya crying and display signs of frustration, it immediately popped into my mind 'postpartum depression' and a post I had read in a forum few years ago. we were discussing a drama and in relation to the character's depression, this member revealed her own struggle with postpartum depression and how she struggled to feed or take care of the baby. rather than wanting to hold or feed the child, a crying baby would made her want to shut down and walk out of the room. it was a two year struggle filled with counseling and medication before she could figure out how to bond with her child. 

P.S -- this was fun to research because I learned quite a bit. so sharing for general knowledge and just thinking/learning purposes-- all quotes in italics and purple font are from different research articles related to psychology and law



Q. is malini depressed? 

now we often have fixed ideas about depression and how they act -- sad, not getting out of bed, lack of sleep, not eating..... so I had the question if malini is depressed. I was a bit surprised by the research. 

what I found interesting is that in some people, depression can manifest itself as anger. men are more likely to display their depression as anger but women can as well. 

"Researchers ultimately found that people with depression were more likely to experience anger and irritability if they lacked the ability to emotionally regulate and ruminated on negative events." 

this in essense is what we see malini doing; she has focused so much on negative events that she experienced that she can't get out of. the question that comes -- is malini depressed or is she just angry? now, not all angry people are depressed and not all depressed people are angry. so how do we know the difference? that is a complicated question. 


Q. isn't she just vengeful? 

now we see her going about her normal life, working and planning with great detail on how to take revenge on imlie -- is she really depressed if she is able to function was a question I had. 

"Revenge involves embitterment, the sense of having been let down or victimized, coupled with a desire to fight back. Feeling helpless to do so then leads to fantasies of revenge or aggression.

Vengeful thoughts may arise in an attempt to protect the self from damaged confidence and self-efficacy, calm feelings of frustration, humiliation, and insult by settling the score between the victim’s suffering and the perpetrator’s actions, and offer a mechanism to regain power and stability.

Thoughts of revenge are especially likely in individuals who have been victimized and traumatized by others. They are more likely in individuals diagnosed with PTSD." 

so revenge, anger, depression and trauma can all be interlinked depending on the person and situation. in malini's case, the above description of revenge is quite apt. malini does have trauma related to her marriage with aditya and the subsequent breakdown. 

mayuri is a phenemenal actress because I see huge changes in the malini we saw when aditya was around and the malini we are meeting now. there is pain in her eyes that gives a sense of internal sadness. before she seemed like a woman angry that her marriage was breaking apart. now, her eyes convey a kind of empty sadness. the BGM also adds a kind of melancholic impending doom to her scenes. 


Q. how can she do that to her own baby? 

there were lot of posts that were wondering this question. as someone who had watched tons of crime docs, crime patrol, savdhaan india episodes, it wasn't surprising. so did some research into postpartum depression and some of it wasn't what I expected though I have seen lots of crime docs:

-- according to some research, "one in eight women experience symptoms of postpartum depression." this can start during pregnancy and then extend to post birth period. for some it triggers post birth -- some of it can be due to hormonal imbalances such as reduced levels of oxytocin (known as the 'love hormone'). 

"Thoughts of harming one's child are more common than psychiatrists often realize.14 A study of mothers of children younger than three years found that 41 percent of depressed mothers had such thoughts, as did 7 percent of controls." 

now not all depressed mothers end up acting on such thoughts but it is a sobering thought to realize how much women suffer in silence. we have these ideas of motherhood that drama characters sprout but it is complicated for many women. we need to acknowlege that it isn't easy and some women struggle more than others on their journey and it is more difficult for them because it is unexpected. they want to love their child but they may struggle. 




Q. how can depression affect mother-child relationships?

for some, the depression just results in anger towards their children. "Often in women it comes out as irritability, particularly with their children. This too may go undetected because sometimes, only their children see it, and children rarely call a therapist for their mother."

lot of people have very complex relationship with their mothers and are sometimes dissapointed at various points when they don't act the filmy way. however, when I read pyschology articles like this, it makes me wonder how many of those moms were just struggling emotionally and the children ended up taking the brunt of it.

-- in extreme cases, the depression leads to filicide -- where the parent kills their own child. it also should be noted that most filicides are muder-sucides as well. when it does happen, it is shocking but according to research, there are 5 reasons why a mother might kill her child -- 

"a) in an altruistic filicide, a mother kills her child out of love; she believes death to be in the child's best interest (for example, a suicidal mother may not wish to leave her motherless child to face an intolerable world; or a psychotic mother may believe that she is saving her child from a fate worse than death); 

b) in an acutely psychotic filicide, a psychotic or delirious mother kills her child without any comprehensible motive (for example, a mother may follow command hallucinations to kill); 

c) when fatal maltreatment filicide occurs, death is usually not the anticipated outcome; it results from cumulative child abuse, neglect, or Munchausen syndrome by proxy; 

d) in an unwanted child filicide, a mother thinks of her child as a hindrance; 

e) the most rare, spouse revenge filicide occurs when a mother kills her child specifically to emotionally harm that child's father."

in malini's case, it is anger towards aditya that is driving her hatred towards her own child. she also sees her child as a hindrance and unwanted -- just as she was unwanted in some ways...


Q. the law?

something I was surprised to find is that a dozen countries including India have specific laws related to infanticide. most infanticide laws are based on the 1922 British Infanticide Act (amended in 1938) and therefore you see it in lot of commonwealth countries including ours. this law means reduced penalty such as 10 years (manslaughter) as opposed to a full penalty related to muder. in most countries, this law covers the death of child up to 1 year old but there are some countries like new zealand where the law applies to child under 10 years old. so it varies. in places like US, there is no such law and instead, they use insanity defense in such cases. 

what the law in countries like ours shows is that post partum depression is taken seriously enough to have specific code for it. how often does it happen? add to cultural notes like preference for the male child, poverty, financial debt, child out of wedlock etc, it happens more often in our country than we probably realize. 


Q. what kind of villain is she? 

now back to my original questions -- is malini depressed? is she suffering from postpartum depression? is her anger and revenge related to her depression? 

I think we will have to wait and watch to get answers on whether we are getting a really complex villain or just a straightforward villain with malicious thoughts. 

enlightened -- in one of your posts, you had asked if malini can be redeemed and this is a question that has been running in my mind as well. I can see a partial redemption like how the law is applied where we have a reduced penalty. however, the answer depends on how complex the story writers want to go.

mayuri as an actress is doing something really interesting in her scenes -- it is very subtle, nuanced but there are signficant changes from malini v1.0. whether it is intentional as per script or just the interpretation of the actress is hard to say. 

the question is if the writers will go there and what they will do with it. in something like a crime patrol episode, we will have a crisp explanation under two minutes by the host. however a daily drama requires an arc and something like depression, post partum depression and filicide are very complex and something that is difficult to understand -- can the writers actually do something with it? not sure about the writers but mayuri as an actress is showing that she can certainly handle such challenges of portrayal. 

Kudos to u dear for the amount of research done and the way it is jotted down with questions, makes it way easier to understand and connect to. Few points that I could make out from Malini:

"Researchers ultimately found that people with depression were more likely to experience anger and irritability if they lacked the ability to emotionally regulate and ruminated on negative events." 

@bold: negative events: ofcrs we are aware of what Malini had to go through that makes her the way she is today. Post her entry with Gudiya we see her utter that Gudiya is dhoke ki nishani for her, the biggest pain she has endured is AKT's Dhoka, her own sister Imlie whom she was getting fond of not telling her about her marriage to AKT so betrayed by 2 most prominent people of her life. On top of that, when Adini get remarried, Aditya left her yet again to go settle in Australia post her pf that made her believe how non important she always was for Aditya. Even though Malini herself was the one to rape AKT in order to get pregnant with his child but the sole purpose was to separate Adi.lie. Now, when there remained no adi.lie her entire reason to suffer through all the stress along with the pregnancy left her traumatized. She already hated the child before delivery to the point that abortion was not an issue for her. 

Post her daughter's birth who was brought in this world with the sole purpose to destroy Imlie, Malini who plays mind games basically has control over her environment is not able to get some peace in her own house as the baby keeps crying looking for mother's attention has no option but to bear through it all till 3 months that triggers her ppd as there are forced changes in her life now.

Now she has the trauma of a destroyed marriage/ broken relationship with the person who she was in love with her for 7 yrs and the only cure she can see is destroy Imlie bcz her destruction started from Imlie. She was in depression when she heard the truth of Adi.lie marriage and ended up slitting her wrist to scumb to death but post that when she challenges Imlie that I will snatch away everything from you she has been traumatized. This fact has to go back to her upbringing as the single child of Chaturvedi's who has witnessed no love between her parents and had no one to discuss her feelings with. When she would have been in a relationship with AKT he would have been her only emotional support considering her past who was snatched away from her.

Thus, she won't ever be able to develop even a single ounce of love for gudiya bcz she reminds her of her failed attempts to get back her only emotional support of life i.e AKT until and unless AKT comes back and wants to give her a chance which I don't think is gonna happen on the show. So, until and unless they bring back AKT to her or there is a devoted lover for her like people were talking about KC who can be the emotional support she needs i don't think her redemption will be possible. Involving therapy might have helped but AC hardly comprehends that her daughter is not evil but sick. On top of that this is an itv show and the word therapy never exists here.

Edited by wasra - 1 years ago