Posted:
Damn that's good...I don't know what Meera meant, but it did come off as exactly how Priya understood. So can't wait to see how it's going to turn out
Damn that's good...I don't know what Meera meant, but it did come off as exactly how Priya understood. So can't wait to see how it's going to turn out
Originally posted by: Shruti_0505
This is a really nice ss. Loved the idea. I can imagine how hurt priya would be listening to her mother says something like what she did.
Update soon.
Glad that u liked it !!🥰
Originally posted by: Potterhead3009
Damn that's good...I don't know what Meera meant, but it did come off as exactly how Priya understood. So can't wait to see how it's going to turn out
Glad that you liked it !! 🥰
U wrote so well!! Can’t wait for the next edition!
Thank u !!🥰
Ahh it's so good !! Can't wait now !when will you update ??
Thanks a lot !! 🥰
Will update soon !!
Hey guys, do read the first and second part before reading this, as this is in continuation. Also sorry in advance for keeping the length so big. I almost became Priya while writing this . Lol !! . Hope you will like it.
Priya's Breakdown
As soon as they entered the room, Priya pulled out her night dress and said, “ Mai fresh hone jaa rahi hun Mr Kapoor”. She did not look at him while speaking and straight away stormed into the washroom.
One and a half hours passed by , but she did not return .Ram started to get worried. Priya never took this long to change. Was she ok?
He went towards the washroom, and knocked the door,” Priya are you ok?”
There was no response..
“Priya pls darwaza kholo. Mujhe chinta ho rahi hain ..”
Again no response..
Ram was damn scared now. "Kahi kuch ho to nahi gaya usse, kahi Shivi ki tarah gusse me khud to harm to nahi kar liya?"
No. That was not possible. Priya was not stupid like Shivi , Ram tried to convince himself. But then why was Priya not answering? She had never spoken to Meera like that. There was a lot of pain, hurt and anger in her eyes.
“Priya for god sake darwasa kholo, mujhe tension ho rahi hain. Kam se kam, itna bata do ki tum theek ho ki nahi……”
Again no response.
Ram had completely lost it by now. All strange thoughts and visions were running in his head. He screamed “ Priya ek akhiri baar puch raha hoon, tum darwaza khologi ya nahi .Mujhe zabardasti karne par pls majboor mat karo “.
Again no response.
Ram pushed the door and it easily opened. Priya had not even locked it. As soon as Ram entered the washroom, his eyes frantically searched for Priya.
There she was, sitting on the floor, her face resting on her knees, crying inconsolably and shivering.
Ram rushed to her side and yelled,“ Tumhara dimak kharab ho gaya hai kya? Kab se chilla raha tha ,darwaso kholo, darwasa kholo, tum theek ho na , tum jawab kyun nahi de rahi thi? Ye kya halat bana rakhi hai apni ?”
“Priya tumse baat kar raha hun, jawab do mujhe. Kuch to bolo? “
Priya did not reply. She continued crying and shivering. Ram could not bear to see her like that. He sat down near her, gently stroked her head, and asked her in a soft husky tone, “ Priya, Meera Maa ki baat se upset ho na ?”
“Priya, pls dekho meri taraf . Mujse share karo. Mai hun yahan , aur mai yaha aise hi baitha rahunga jab tak tum mujhse baat nahi karogi”.
“Maa ko aisa nahi bolna chahiye tha Mr Kapoor” , Priya finally broke her silence lifting her face from her knees, her eyed red as blood. “ Maa ne wo sab kaise bol diya Mr Kapoor. Kaise ? Kaisa keh diya unhone ki aap unke liye woh bete hain jinki kami unhe zindagi bhar mehsoos hui hain “.
Ram wanted to explain Priya , but he decided to let her speak, let her vent out every damn thing that was bothering her..
“ Mr Kapoor, jab bhi aapko aur maa ko dekti thi, mujhe ek bohot ajeeb sa dar lagta tha. Mera dimak mujhe baar baar warn karta raha , ki Maa kahi kuch aisa na bolde , jo main sun nahi paungi. Par dil ne kaha, nahi Priya Maa baaki aurton ki tarah nahi hain. Beta beti unke liye ek jaise hain. Mahendar Sood chahe mujhe kitne tane kyun na de de par Maa ke liye to main unka guroor thi na Mr Kapoor ? Phir kaise keh diya unhone wo sab kuch?”.
Bete, ka kaunsa farz hain jo maine pichle badtees salo main nahi nibhaya hain. Maine apni zindagi apna pura bachpan nikal diya Mr Kapoor, taki Maa ko kabhi ye na lage , ki unke paas beta nahi hain, to woh kisi aur se kam hain.
Ration ki dukaano ki lambi line mai khada hona, electricity bill bharna, water bill bharna, ghar ka pura budget manage karna, bank walon se EMI default ke liye ladna,har zimmedari bachpan se maine apno kandho pe khud hi le li. School se wapis ake apne juniors, ke liye tuition leti thi. Ek ek paisa save karti thi. Mujhe yaad nahi ki mai ek bhi din baaki bachon ki tarah, bina kisi tension ke, school se wapis aa kar , bag ko phek ke , shoes ko phek ke khelne bhagi hun.
Mahendar Sood , hume bina kisi sharm ke chod ke chale gaye. Maa tut gayi thi. Chaar bachon ka future ,unka education, itni zimmedari thi sar pe, par saath dena wala koi bhi nahi.
Bakery se milne wale paise , hum panch logo ke liye bilkul bhi sufficient nahi the. Par mai nahi chahti thi ki Maa ko paiso ke liye kabhi bhi , uss admi ke samne jhukna pade. To Saturday, Sunday ko bhi tuitions, lene ke baad koi bhi job ho sake main karti thi. Maine chote chote kaam karna seekhan , jaise sari pe false laga na,chote mote alterations karna ,dheere dheere main kurta , saree ka blouse bhi stitch karna seekh gayi. Tailoring se mujhe aur paise milne lage. Meri zindagi ka ek hi maqzat tha, Mahender Sood ke samne kabhi madad ke liya nahi jaungi, na khud kabhi jhukungi na hi Maa ko jhukne dungi. Par zingadi ke iss mushqil waqt ne mujhe bohot kuch sikhaya, maine seekha , immandari se kiya hua koi bhi kaam bada ya chota nahi hota.
Sara di ka college admission , mera college admission , Sandy ka ,Maitreyi ka, yaha tak ki Sara di ke shaadi ke liye bhi, Mahendar Sood kabhi bhi samne se apni zimmedari nibhane nahi aye ".
Ram recalled , how during their engagement , someone misunderstood Priya to be a staff member, but she was not offended a bit. It was from Priya that Ram had learnt the true meaning of dignity of labour.
Priya continued , “Aap ko jab bhi apne Dad ko yaad karte hue, unke saath bitaye palon ko yaad karte hue ,kabhi muskurate hue, kabhi rote hue, toh kabhi faqr karte dekti huun, to yahi sochti hun ki mere paas bhi apne pita ke baare me yaad karne ke liye kuch to hoga . Bachpan me hi sahi, par kabhi to unhone pyaar se mujhe beta bola hoga. Par mai kitna hi yaad karne ki koshish kyun na karlu ,mujhe aisa koi din , koi pal yaaad nahi jab unhone pyar se mujhe do shabd bole hon”.
Mai phir sochti hun ki woh kaunsi lucky ladkiyaan hoti hongi , jinko ye society papa ki pari bolti hain. Pari to dur ki baat hain, mai unke liye sirf ek boj hun , aur kuch nahi.
School main, college main, Job main, jab bhi kisi official form pe father’s name ka column fill karna padta tha, maine sharmindigi ke alawa kuch mehsoos nahi kiya hain. School main jab classmates puchte the, tere papa nahi aye parents teachers meeting pe, to mujhe samajh hi nahi ata tha ki kya wajah batau. Main chup ho jaati thi. Par, Mr. Kapoor agar aap chup ho jao na to duniya apke behalf me bolne lagti hain. Koi kehta tha ki Priya ke Mom Dad ka divorce ho gaya hain, koi kehta tha ki Priya ka Daad ka Extra Marital Affair hain. Mohalle ki auntiyaan to yahi bolti thi, zaroor Meera mai hi koi kami hogi , warna koi aise hi thodi kissi aur ke paas chala jata hain."
“ Mr Kapoor, aapke Daad jab zinda the to aapko, Shubham ko, aur khaas kar Shivi ko bohot protect karte honge na ?”.
Ram nodded,“Mere Daad duniya ke sabse achhe Dad hain Priya. Unke jaise koi bhi nahi hain aur na hi ho sakta hain. Aur Shivi to jaan thi Dad ki, uski ankho me ek bhi ansu aye na to Dad bardash nahi kar pate the, aur Dad naaa……..…… he stopped realizing it would be insensitive to say such things now.”
“Aapko pata hain Mr. Kapoor mere pita kya karte the ?
Kabhi bhi humare ghar me ghus ate the , tamasha karte the , dhamki dete the , mujjhe , Maa ko tanne kaste the.
Mujse kehte the, ki Kal se college gayi na to tange tod dunga .
Agar hifazat karne wale pita se hi hifazat ki zaroorat pade, to woh beti apni hifazat ke liya kahaan jaye , kis ke paas jayen ?
Main kisi ke paas nahi gayi Mr Kapoor. Maine khud ko itna strong banaya ki kabhi kisi ke hifazat ki zaroorat hi na pade”, Priya broke down while speaking.
Ram froze at these painful words vented out by Priya. What kind of monster was Mahendar Sood?. Of course, that entire family was monstrous. They had almost killed him during the wedding, just to ensure Priya does not get settled in a rich respectable family. His own Dad had never even raised voiced on Shivi no matter how stupid and mischievous she was.
Priya was always a paheli for Ram. He always wondered, why did she hesitate so much to ask for any kind of help. Why did she not allow him to protect her? He now understood. In the crucial stages of life when she needed security and protection the most , she was left all alone, she was out there in the brutal world, handling everything on her own and now she reached a stage in life, where any kind of dependency scared her.
Priya’s condition was deteriorating. The emotional outburst was draining her physically. Ram noticed, that her forehead was sweating and she was shivering very badly. He immediately removed his coat, and wrapped it around her to provide her warmth. He took his handkerchief , and started to wipe the sweat from her face.
“Priya, tumhari tabiyat bigad rahi hain. Pls sambhalo khud ko. ”
Priya was not in her control. Emotions were overpowering her mental strength. She continued ,” Mr Kapoor aapko pata hain maine khud apni ankho se dekha hai Sara di ke pati ko unpe haat uthate hue, badtamizi karte hue. Maine unse kahi baar baat karne ki koshish kari, par har baar woh mujhe chup kar deti ye bolkar , ki aurton ko thoda bardash karna padta hain. Maine ghar pe bataya, Maa ko bohot taqleef hui, par woh nahi samjh paa rahi thi , ki kya karna chahiye. Mujse bardash nahi hua, maine unke against domestic violence ka case kar diya. Par Sara di ne case wapis le liya. Iss insult ke baad unke pati chup baithne walon me se nahi the. Unhone Sara di ko divorce dene ki dhamki di, aur shadi bachane ke liye shart rakha ki humare family me se koi bhi kabhi unke ghar nahi jaa sakta, naa hi woh humare kisi bhi family function ka hissa banenge. Yaha tak ki hum Sara di ke bachhe se bhi nahi mil sakte unke ghar pe, na hi woh usse humare yaha laa sakti hain. Maine bohot protest kiya, samjhane ki koshis ki, ki humme unse darne ki zaroorat nahi hai, par ghar pe kisi ne bhi mera saath nahi diya. Sabko yaha tak ki khud Sara di ko bhi yahi lagne laga ki maine unki zindagi complicate kar di hain.
Unhone mujse kaha ,“ Priya kuch cheeze hain life mai jo tu abhi nahi samjhegi. Jab teri shaadi hogi, bachhe honge, to shayad tujhe samajh ayega ki zindagi ki har ladai jeetne ke liye nahi hoti. Kuch ladaiyan haar jane me hi sabki bhalayi hoti hain. Pita ke hote hue bhi jo tane jo kadwahat humne sahi hain, main nahi chahti wo sab kuch ab mera bachha bhi sahe, iske liye mujhe jo compromise karna pade main karungi. Tu meri chinta mat kar, mujhe bure se bure waqt main bhi khushiyaa dhundna ata hain.Tu please iss mamle main aur interfere nahi karegi”
“Sara di ne saari sharte maan li, aur main kuch bhi nahi kar saki. Maine khud ko uss din itna helpless mehsoos kiya Mr Kapoor ki mai aapko bata bhi nahi sakti.. “
Tears welled up in Ram’s eyes. He had never thought, behind the ever smiling face of Sara di there was so much pain. He took Priya’s hands in his as if trying to let her know, I am there , I will always be there. Her hands were extremely cold which scared Ram.
“Mujhe Sare di ki kahi hui bate bilkul bhi samjh nahi ayi Mr Kapoor. Maine socha ki kya kisi se pyar, shadi, rishto ka bandhan , bachho ki chinta ek aurat ko itna helpless, kamzor kar deta hain, ki who khushi khushi ek aisi zindagi accept kar leti hain jaha koi izzat nahi, self respect nahi. Aur agar Sara di ki baatei sahi hain, to maina socha ki main kabhi pyaar nahi karungi,kabhi shaadi nahi karungi,main shaadi jaise institution ke liye bani hi nahi hun ,kyunki mujhe kamzoriyon se saqt nafrat hain”.
“Mr Kapoor, main bohot tuut chuki thi, pyaar se, shaddi se mera vishwas uth chuka tha, phir Neeraj aya meri life main. Umeed ki choti si kiran jagi. Maine usse kuch nahi chupaya, usse apne sare trust issues and insecurities share kiye. Usne mujhe assure kiya ki woh samjhta hain aur hamesha mera saath dega. Bohut mushkil se hi sahi par mai bhi har ladki ki tarah ,sapne dekhne lagi, shaadi ke , family ke. Mujhe lagne laga ki shayad mujhe bhi zindagi ek mauka de rahi hai, shayad mujhe pi pyaar karne ka haq hai, khush rehna ka, hasne ka haq hain, Neeraj mujhe aise jhoote sapne dikhata raha, aur main pata nahi kaise uss pe trust karti rahi, woh mujhe use karta raha, mai use hoti rahi, jab usko mujjse better option mila, usne chod diya mujhe Maitreyi ke liye. Na koi guilt, na koi apology, jaise ki mai uske liye sirf ek deal thi, kahi aur zyada munafe ka deal mila, toh chod diya, ek baar bhi mudkar nahi dekha , ki zinda bhi hu ki nahi.
Main to khulke ro bhi nahi paati thi Mr Kapoor. Kaise roti uss insaan ke liye jo mere hi behan ka pati hain. Jab ek ladka ek ladki ka dil todta hain na, to uske andar ka confidence bhi khatam kar deta hain. Mera dimak ye baat janta tha, ki Neeraj ek loose character hain. Par phir bhi dil ke kone se ek awaz utthi thi, “ Was I not beautiful enough for him ? Am I unworthy of anybody’s love and affection?”
Man me uthne wale inn sawalon ke liye mere paas koi answers nahi the. Ghar pe kisi ke saath apni feelings discuss bhi nahi kar pati thi, kyunki Maitreyi involved thi. Sab ke liye awkward ho jata. Main jitna pretend karti ,ki mujhe koi faraq nahi padta, utna sab ke liye move on karna easy hota. Sare relatives Maa ko bolte the, ki aapki badi beti sundar nahi hain na, tabhi usne choti beti ko chuna. Wo log shayad galat nahi the.
Shayad main nahi hun itni sundar. Nahi hun main itni attractive ki mujhe samne dekh kar kissi ke dil ki dhadkan bad jaye.
Par har ladki Manish Malhotra ki model to nahi ho sakti na? To kya who ladkiyaan pyaar ka haqdar nahi hain? Aur agar ek admi ke liye aurat ki bahari sundarta itni zyada matter karti hain, to meri bhi zidd thi, nahi karungi main dress to impress ,nahi karna makeup, nahi dikhana khud ko sundar. Mai jaisi bhi dikti hun, jaisa bhi dress karti hun, yahi meri identity hain.
Neeraj ne mujhe todne ki bohot koshish ki. Usse vishwas nahi ho raha tha , ki main apne zindagi mai aage bad rahi hun. Usse laga ki main tut jaungi , usse minnate karungi ki who mujhe chod kar kyun gaya?. Woh intentionally kisi na kisi bahane se Maitreyi ke saath ghar ata tha. Ghar pe koi usse nahi rokta , Maa bhi nahi,kyunki damad jo hain. Wo mere samne baar baar Maitreyi ko pyaar se touch karta,usse 'Jaan' bulata , theek ussi tarah jaise kabhi mujhe bulaya karta tha.
Mujhe taqleef to bohut hoti thi, par kabhi kissi ko pata nahi chalne diya. Woh kehta hai na ‘Fake it till you make it’. Maine wahi kiya.Khud ko tutne nahi diya. Apne dil ko samjha diya ki Neeraj mere pyaar ke to kya nafrat ke bhi layak nahi hain, samjha diya khud ko ki jo bhi hua achhe ke liye hua. Maine, move on to kar liya Mr Kapoor, par pyar, mohabbat, sapno ki duniya se itna dur jane ki koshish mai shayad khud se hi dur ho gayi.
Maine Neeraj pe bharsosa kiya, uss se apne weakness, insecurity , trust issues share kiya, par waqt ane par usne wahi mere against use kiya. Yeh mere liye ek life lesson tha ki apne weakness ko, apne problems ko kisi se share nahi karna chahiye. End me ake har rishte me baat hisaab kitab pe pohunch hi jati hain. Aap puchte hain na Mr Kapoor, kyun maine apne charo taraf diwar bana li hain,ki koi bhi jhank nahi pata, wo iss liye Mr Kapoor kyunki yahi tareeka hain mera paas , khud ko protect karne ke liya, taki phir kabhi koi mera dil na tod sake.
Zindagi ke har mod par, kabhi apno ne , kabhi society ne baar baar mujhe mere kamiyon ka ehsaas dilaya . Ehssas dilaya ki I am not good enough .Mujse koi pyaar nahi kar payega aur main zindagi bhar ke liye akeli reh jaungi. Par in sab taano ke beech bhi, jab Maa kehti thi , ki Priya mera guroor hain, to mere har dard pe jaise marham lag jaata tha. Par aaj woh guroor bhi tut gaya. Mai sab kuch seh sakti hun Mr Kapoor, par ye baat ki main apne Maa ki achhi beti bhi nahi ban sakki ,mujhe andar se khokla kar rahi hain. Zaroor mujh me hi koi kami hogi, shayad sabhi log sach hi bolte hain, shayad mai kisi ke pyaar ke kabil hi nahi. Main beti hone ki zimmedari nahi nibha saki, tabhi toh Maa ne who sab kuch kaha.
“Kya main itni buri aur unlovable hun Mr Kapoor, ki koi bhi mujhe apne pyaar ke layak nahi samjtha ? Pehle Sir, phir Neeraj , aur aaj Maa, kahi aisa to nahi ki meri behene bhi mujse pyar nahi karti? Kyunki khoon ka rishta hain, to apne iss khadoos behen ko bardaash karti hongi, aur aap Mr Kapoor, aap bhi to kisi aur se pyar karte hain na, aur humesha karte rahenge . Aap bhi mujhe kabhi pyar nhi karenge na Mr Kapoor, chahe mai aapko kitna hi ……………………………………………..”
Damn ,Priya realized what she was about to say. She did not have any rights to question Ram’s choice. He had made everything clear right from the first meeting. The boundaries were already set. She had voluntarily agreed to it, then what rights she had to question him. If not anything Ram had always been extremely friendly, supportive, respectful and caring. Why on earth would he fall in love with a girl like her? It was wrong to expect him to love her.
“I am really sorry Mr Kapoor, I did not mean it, mujhe koi haq nahi aapse sawal karne ka. Pls mujhe maaf kar dijiye”. Priya broke down completely.
It took Ram a few seconds to compose himself. He was not listening to Priya, but living every moment with her. He always wanted Priya to share her burden with him, but she had never given him a chance, today when she poured her heart out, Ram did not know what to do, from where to find those words that would assuage her pain.
But composing himself, he wiped Priya’s tears and held her close to his chest, in a tight embrace.
But Priya had no strength left in her to reciprocate. She felt embarrassed to have shown her vulnerable side, she had almost confessed her love, and the worst of all, she had questioned Ram for his choice of not wanting to fall in love again. She did not have the courage to face him, to meet his eyes. This breakdown , had consumed her entire physical strength too. She was feeling extremely exhausted and nauseous. There was a very uncomfortable churning in her stomach. Her head was very heavy, and stomach paining immensely.
Realizing she may puke up anytime, she forcefully broke Ram’s hug and removed the coat he had put over her. “Mr Kapoor aap please jayie yaha se. Meri tabiyat theek nahi lag rahi, I need some space”.
She tried to get up but did not have the strength. She cried holding her stomach, “Ahhhh !!!”.
“Priyaaa!!!!”,screamed an alarmed Ram noticing that she was panting , and profusely sweating.
“Priya, do you feel like vomiting?”
“Mr Kapoor aap pls jayie yaha se ,aapko ye sab dekhne ki , yaha rehne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. Mujhe akela chod dijiye”.
She forced herself to get up ,only to fall in Ram’s arms.
Ram by now understood, the only way to handle stubborn Priya was by being assertive and even more stubborn. He told her in an authoritative voice, “ Mai tumhe iss halat mai akela chod kar nahi jaunga matlab nahi jaunga”.
He wrapped his arm around her tightly and took her near the basin.
Priya started vomiting. Ram did not flinch a bit. He was continuously patting her back and holding her tightly saying, “ Priya pls relax. Take it easy. It’s ok. Main hun yaha. Pls relax !! “
Priya wondered to herself,” Kis mitti ke bane hain aap Mr Kapoor , jo ab bhi mujhe akela nahi chod rahe hain.”
She cleaned the basin with water, and looked at herself in the mirror above. She felt naked, every single wall she had fortified herself with was broken. Ram had witnessed the worst of the worst. There was nothing else to hide, no more need to pretend that she was ok, Ram was now aware of all her scars, he would either accept her today with all those scars, or leave her.
She recalled Ram’s words, “ Priya tumhe pata hai na ki kabhi bhi madad ki zaroorat padegi , to kiske paas aana hain “?
She gave a weak feeble smile. She turned towards Ram feeling extremely dizzy and tired. Their eyes met. And for the first time Ram could not decode her eyes. Those ever confident, fierce eyes that would give deathly stare to him were today hollow and lifeless which scared the hell out of him.
Drawing the last ounce of strength from her body, she said something that sent chills to Ram's spine.
“Mai bohot thak gayi hu Mr Kapoor. Pls mujhe sambhal lee jiye. Aur akele ladne ki shakti nahi bachi………………”
With these words she voluntarily leaned on his chest and fainted.
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Tagging few people who commented on the first part and would probably like to read about Priya opening up to Ram.
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