Does anyone feel Ram's dependencies on friends is unhealthy and scary?

vaidharbhi95 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#1

Does anyone else also feel that Ram is way too much dependent on friends , especially Adi-Brindha?

In the first episode, when Ram said he does not know his address, it felt snobbish to me , and also it felt exaggerated on purpose to bring some comic element, but after today's episode I feel Ram's dependencies on friends is too dangerous and unhealthy, and he is actually lethargic enough to not attempt to remember his address.

It is ok for friends to take care of each other, be there for each other in lows. We all at one point depend on people, but Ram is dependent for very minimal , basic survival things also.. Like Brinda-Adi most of the time carry all the medicines he requires, but what if they forget one day.

Ram does not have his driver's no saved . He is too lethargic because he knows Adi-Brindha are 24 hrs available. Instead of instinctively calling his driver, or mechanic , why is he calling Adi so late at night. Adi-Brindha will for sure not mind, but still they too have their personal space.

Also what if Adi one day decides to part ways with Ram's business , venture something new and the couple settles somewhere else. Ram will go berserk then. Emotional dependencies can still be tackled , but these both have become his habit in an unhealthy way. Ram is actually lucky , that none of his friends are selfish or manipulative .They always want the best for him. But considering how much Ram is dependent on them, it would not be a difficult task to cheat on him.

I think that is why Brindha is always extremely worried for Ram. Even if she is away from him, her mind is always anxious. That is also why I think , she wants Ram to get a companion , because somewhere she also knows that she might not be able to be with him always, and maybe that's why she thinks someone as independent and self-sufficient as Priya, would be suitable match for Ram.

Also Priya is putting Ram , in an embarrassing situation by calling him out for his dependencies. It felt very rude , and Ram was visibly hurt, but unintentionally Priya has awakened him somewhere. Clearly no one has done this to Ram before. His family does not give a damn and his friends love him too much to be able to do that.

Atleast now I think to escape from her sharp taunts, he would remember his pin code ,save his immediate driver no etc..

What do you all think ??

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Shelly_392 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#2

Well I dont agree that Ram is lethargic. Yes he’s too dependant on them but that’s only out of pure love and mutual respect they have for each other. Yes Ram is lucky to have friends like these. But they are supposedly his friends since a long time. They all have been together for way too long time, remember Ram is 38 and not done teenage boy with short and immature duration of friendships, and protected Ram only coz they know how emotional he is. They also know he’s heartbroken not only coz of Vedika but also coz his family doesn’t care about him excel though he loves them with all his heart. Plus he himself hasn’t ever tried to move on after Vedu left him which makes his friends feel too sad for him. That’s why probably they worry for him and also care for him too much.


He’s become too dependant well it’s fair coz he’s so rich and such people do get dependant on their servants or closed ones to look after their daily routines, remember Ram telling Priya that his friends can pop-up from anywhere for him to help him at any time. Ram leads a very busy life, just in case you have seen the first episode. He works almost 24X7 a week, all for his family. His friends understand his situation and hence surround him everywhere they can.


Certainly the situation is unhealthy but probably they never thought such a situation will ever strike Ram and they will have to keep him away from them. But I do t think the whole situation is bad or shows rudeness of Ram. That’s how his character is and I think I find this cute.


Yes, Priya is definitely pointing all these things out and making Ram consciously think about all these aspects. She definitely wants to make him self-reliant just the way she is but she might slowly realise how he got into this situation and would step-in to take the responsibility slowly and hopefully unconsciously which will make this story beautiful.

Edited by Shelly_392 - 3 years ago
Sweeties8 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#3

I think so too that its scary and unhealthy… too much dependency is quite scary and can break a person terribly if things go wrong with that friendship or that dependent relation.

I think there is no person in Ram’s life who can tell it bluntly to him to make him aware except Priya.. its a good thing since as a partner one should be able to tell black and white reality to each other.. though I did feel she could have done it in personal space than infront of her whole family making him awkward..


I think she will teach him living in real world and he will teach her to live with dreamy fantasies of barsaat/pyaar chai and Pakodas ❤️❤️Completing each other along the way

Shelly_392 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#4

But I think something as minimal as your address, and having your driver no saved is required. It is not healthy to depend on Adi for such basics especially the address part is way too much. But maybe filthy rich people are actually like that. I don't know.... I am sure if Adi has a car breakdown, he would not call Ram for help. So if unfortunately they separate Adi will not be affected at a basic level as compared to Ram . . Ram's dependencies on servants and all is fine, but him instinctively calling Adi instead of mechanic , didn't feel right.


Also I really want makers to show Ram's flashbacks. I want to know if he was born with a silver spoon, or is he a self-made man. Because if he is a self-made man, he wouldn't be so away from his roots and basics. But if it is otherwise it is still understandable.


Well Ram does seem to be born with a silver spoon but he is still a self-made man. He made all efforts to keep his family happy w/o realising the impact it can have on his health. Agreed Adi might not be that dependant as Ram but Ram has probably done too much for them already that they don’t need to think about these petty things b/w each other even for once. Also, it feels you too thinking about this from a more independent girl kinda view and not his PoV. It does seem right and nice to know about Ram and his bonding with his friends. Yes, flashbacks to show their bonding could be good like they have shown b/w Pri n Sara during the marriage track to bring give more depth to their characters and relationship.

vaidharbhi95 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: Shelly_392

But I think something as minimal as your address, and having your driver no saved is required. It is not healthy to depend on Adi for such basics especially the address part is way too much. But maybe filthy rich people are actually like that. I don't know.... I am sure if Adi has a car breakdown, he would not call Ram for help. So if unfortunately they separate Adi will not be affected at a basic level as compared to Ram . . Ram's dependencies on servants and all is fine, but him instinctively calling Adi instead of mechanic , didn't feel right.


Also I really want makers to show Ram's flashbacks. I want to know if he was born with a silver spoon, or is he a self-made man. Because if he is a self-made man, he wouldn't be so away from his roots and basics. But if it is otherwise it is still understandable.


Well Ram does seem to be born with a silver spoon but he is still a self-made man. He made all efforts to keep his family happy w/o realising the impact it can have on his health. Agreed Adi might not be that dependant as Ram but Ram has probably done too much for them already that they don’t need to think about these petty things b/w each other even for once. Also, it feels you too thinking about this from a more independent girl kinda view and not his PoV. It does seem right and nice to know about Ram and his bonding with his friends. Yes, flashbacks to show their bonding could be good like they have shown b/w Pri n Sara during the marriage track to bring give more depth to their characters and relationship.


Yeah, it is very much possible that Ram has already done too much for them, that they feel the need to be more protective about him. I hope they show all that. About the self-made part, no doubt he is a workaholic and does not take the business for granted, even if it was directly inherited unlike Shubham.

Shelly_392 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Sweeties8

I think so too that its scary and unhealthy… too much dependency is quite scary and can break a person terribly if things go wrong with that friendship or that dependent relation.

I think there is no person in Ram’s life who can tell it bluntly to him to make him aware except Priya.. its a good thing since as a partner one should be able to tell black and white reality to each other.. though I did feel she could have done it in personal space than infront of her whole family making him awkward..


I think she will teach him living in real world and he will teach her to live with dreamy fantasies of barsaat/pyaar chai and Pakodas ❤️❤️Completing each other along the way


@bold Yes, I do agree on this especially when Ram seeks for confirmation from everyone on the path he chose, be it talking angrily with Priya outside the club pointing her pessimistic attitude about men and life or making efforts to settle Shubham. Ram’s family doesn’t care about this assurance and his friends only look for his happiness no matter what and doesn’t want to hurt him on choosing a wrong path. It’s only Brinda who helps him do that and now Priya will be his guiding light.

Bana thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#7

Agree. But not having the driver’s number was unrealistic.

And, as u also pointed out, it is unnecessary for Priya to be so brutally frank. She can point these things out more gently or with some humour. The way she highlights Ram’s (or anyone’s) faults is embarrasing & hurtful also.

I get that she has had a tough life & been betrayed twice but that is no reason to take it out on everyone one meets. I really think the writers are overdoing Ram’s & Proya’s traits - assuming us audience to be so stupid that we wont understand unless it is exaggerated & continually rubbed in.

Bana thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#8

I also find it weird that Ram is so insensitive to Adi-Bri being married, who calls a married couple all hours all the time?

BlurredLines10 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#9

The way I see this is Ram is starved of love. He might be doing this unconsciously. But perhaps, even purposely. Just maybe. Because if he is getting love, care and affection from Brinda and Aditya; he will grab it with both hands. He might deliberately be dependent on them with regards to these small things because somehow it makes him feel like he is taken care of. It makes him feel like he is a part of something, that he also can be dependent on someone, and there are people who do love him.


It is unhealthy, yes. Because no one should rely on their friends/family for such basic things but I do understand where Ram is coming from. He is essentially a child who is trapped in the world's trials and tribulations. Adi and Brinda recognize this and hence do everything in their capacity to be with him and help however they can.


Psychologically, I think Ram suffers from DPD. All this stems from a fear of losing people around him. Even his overpleasing attitude and the constant need to keep his family happy so they don't leave him. He often lives in a bubble that everything is great around him and that is quite telling.


The only sad part is that Priya being a professor is very cold about this. Especially in the last episode. She is someone who has heard her father's taunts all her life. One would think that she wouldn't pass that to someone else and definitely not her newly wedded husband. But I guess, hurt people also love to hurt others. Ram did look a little shocked by her behaviour last night. I hope Priya watches her mouth henceforth.


The rich taunt was necessary. He got ready to get married at the community hall for her and the family. He travelled that far, diverted an entire wedding party so she gets to save her face. He sat and completed the rituals without AC. It's unfair that she just does not sit any of this and still is stuck on the assumption that he might be a snob.

hapc thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#10

I think he gives so much without receiving anything when it comes to family so he has become dependent on his friends who seem like the only ones who care about him. But he does need to become a bit more independent. Although once again the trait has been exaggerated by Ekta

Edited by hapc - 3 years ago

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