#RiAnsh FF : Tale As Old As Time (Ch-5 on Pg. 4)

RiyaVaghani thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#1

Basically trying a chance here...



Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the beast

Riddhima was a small town girl. She was a smart, beautiful, aware, but innocent girl. She was very strong thought. She could take in all the pressure life threw on her. Her mother had died giving birth to her. Her father was greedy. She lived with her father, who treated her in a very inhuman way. She was what we all know as the 'Beauty'.

Vansh was a heartless monster. He grew up in a house full of criminals and only law he understood was the criminal law. He didn't care for anyone except himself. There wasn't anything he couldn't get. He was a megalomaniac. He loved his power. He loved being the one in control. He always got what he wanted. He was what we all know as the 'Beast'.

*************************************************************************************************

This is your typical heartless monster- innocent angel love story. It's the tale we all heard. It's the tale of Beauty and The Beast. 

But now now readers, I won't disappoint you! I have added quite some twists of my own!

Some things you need to know...

A. I tried to make the female lead strong

B. I am basically avoiding Stockholm Syndrome

C. The male lead is no broken angel. He is evil and will always will be. But every coin has two sides...

D. I am a young feminist in the making so kindly avoid hate if I wrote something that triggered you.

E. I will appreciate constructive criticism, not hate. I repeat, 'constructive criticism' NOT HATE

.

Love you all

Riya



Please review my work so I can improve my skills.... Thank you

Edited by RiyaVaghani - 2 years ago

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Posted: 2 years ago
#2

~A Late Night Walk And The Cinderella Situation~

Gentle breeze. Wild grass. Moist mud. Wet greens. A day after rain. The smell of monsoon in air. Bare feet. Calm mind. 

She was on a walk, reading a book in the moonlight. Her pale yellow sundress waving with the breeze. Her bare feet touching the wet, green, wild grass. She didn't know where she was going. Just walking where the ground leads her, on a random path, a path that led her to a beautiful mansion. She saw it once she reached there. She realized the grass was getting shorter and the air gave the aura of power rather than peace. She looked up and saw the magnificent palace. It looked as if it came out of some history book. It was intimating and alluring at the same time. And that is never a good combination.

So, she turned around and started walking, wondering how she never knew about such a beautiful place. She wished she lived in such a place but then reprimanded herself for wishing such things for two reasons. First, Hopes always disappoint and Second, she couldn't be selfish, her father is not that rich, she shouldn't wish for such things. She should be helping her father.

Little did she know, both her reasons were invalid. Her father was a selfish leech and always thought about earning more money. And about her hopes.... Well, her wish is going to be fulfilled but in a slightly different way.

She walked back home, if one could call a hellhole that. The moment she entered, her father started shouting at her.

"WHERE WERE YOU!?"

She mumbled, scared, "I- I was reading a book and lost track of time"

That enraged him so much, he threw the nearest vase on her which hit her legs.

She got shocked and angry "Stop! I understand that you expected me to do something but don't throw things like a child, it could hurt someone!"

He walked up to her and slapped her. Her cheeks greeted hot tears like the sea embraces the river and she looked up at him.

He said, "You don't get to tell me what to do! Do you understand?"

She nodded, but yelled again, "WORDS, Riddhima! Speak!"

"Ye-Yes, father"

"What did you say?"

"I mean, yes, sir!"

"Better! Now clean up these broken vase pieces and cook something for me, I am hungry"

"Yes, sir"

Her father leaves and she tries to walk but a shard had cut her leg. She pulls it out with much trouble and limps to the kitchen after gathering the broken pieces of the vase wondering when her broken life would mend.

She made her father's favorite pasta for him and asked him to have it.

"What took you so long!?"

"Sorry, sir, the pasta took time to cook"

"I don't want to eat pasta!!"

"But fath- Sir, Pasta is your favorite, right?"

"Not after you made it! Now just go eat the trash yourself!"

"Okay sir."

So she ran out crying. Se ate some of it and packed the left over and went out meet her only friend, a cat she kept hidden from her father. She called him Alden. Alden means old, wise friend. Riddhima always visited Alden everyday. He's her one true friend. He patiently listened to her while having his meal. He even comforted her by rubbing his soft fur with her skin when she cried. Riddhima kept Alden hidden from her father because she knew he wouldn't let her keep him. He might throw him away or worse, kill him. She didn't want that to happen so she had successfully hidden her true friend from her devil of a father for four years.

Riddhima gave Alden the pasta. He looks up with his blue eyes and sees her puffy eyes. He gives her a apologetic look and shifts a little making room for his friend. She sits down beside him and starts petting him.

"You know Alden, today I saw a beautiful mansion. I wonder if it's abandoned. It looked so magnificent. It can't be abandoned, though. The grass was fresh trimmed. I look at such places and wonder if I can ever free myself from father. I want to see places. I want to travel the world. But father won't allow that. The last time I tried to get away from him, he almost killed me. What do you think should we do? Let's take mother's frame, steal some money from father and run away! What say?"

She looked and him and found him too engrossed in his food to listen to her. He acted all innocent but she knew him very well.

"Then we can buy some meat for you maybe..."

His ears twitched at the name of meat. Like any other cat, Alden loved meat. Riddhima always gave him her share of meat whenever they made some at home.

Alden looked up at her, his eyes hopeful. Riddhima sighs.

"Sorry, baby, I don't have any now..."

He sulked and began eating pasta again. She pets him and says

"I'll try to bring some for you tomorrow, okay?" He purred.

"Or maybe tomorrow, we'll run away and then I can buy you as much meat as I want!"

The both sat there and Riddhima bid her friend good bye and good night and returned to her place in the house. The attic. She laughed to herself. Guess her father watched Cinderella and got some ideas. But she didn't need a Prince Charming to save her. She was very much capable of doing that herself and she had it all planned. She goes to her desk and checks her email for updates, and sleeps. 

She couldn't afford to wake up late tomorrow, it was her first day at her job as the assistant of the CEO of Raisinghania Group of Industries. Her one and only chance at freeing herself. Her father only allowed her to do a job thinking it would bring more money in the house. God only knows what they saw in her, she was given the job solely on the basis of her CV. They didn't even interview her. But she was happy that she got the job and didn't want to question anything.

So with the thoughts of her new job/escape plan, Alden, the walk to the grandiose mansion, and her Cinderella situation, she escaped the harsh reality of this world and drifted to the land of happiness, peace and dreams.

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Posted: 2 years ago
#3

Interesting 

looking forward for next 

RiyaVaghani thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#4

Clearly my story doesn't seem interesting enough for people to reply but it's fine! I'll wait!! So here goes the next part!!

>A Foolish Traitor And An Angel From Heaven<

Weapons. Fights. Crime. This has always been Vansh's life and always will be. He stopped feeling a long time ago. Having grown up with a family like his, feeling anything would only give him crippling pain. He blocked everything and everyone out. Long, long back. He was born in Mafia. And once someone joins, they never leave. So, here he was. The King of his world. But as they say, "heavy is the head that wears the crown"

Vansh is surrounded by traitors. His so-called family, the bunch of ungrateful freeloaders his father and mother left him. His Mom and Dad were a topic of discussion though. His father, a man of his words, had given his word to his Mom's father that he would protect her from both their enemies. Their mutual alliance just became something more. Though in the end, enemies did get his mother. His father, however, married her sister. But he never loved her. She was just in the house because of the children. His father belonged to his mother and he united with her soon after marrying again.

Vansh didn't exactly believe in love. If he ever married, he knew it would be out of duty and not love. Though he did want what his Mom and Dad have but then, along with his feelings, many of his wishes got buried deep deep down. It was not like he never wished anything. He did... He wished a lot of things... Most of it was Power. Vansh was a megalomaniac, if described in one word. But it was much more complicated than that. Power. It was something that allowed and assured him that what happened to his Mom would never happen to his sister.

He lived with his grandmother, step-mother, step-sister, uncle, aunt, cousin and lastly, the only person apart from himself, whom he cared about, his sister. She was a  spitting image of their mother. Their mother had died when she was 7. He was 9. Now he's 29, but the memory remains fresh. There was a lot of pressure around his Dad and they were in hiding. Until a traitor ratted out their location. His mother, his sister and him, all three were kidnapped.

They kept them in a dark room, with a lot of dust and scary insects. His sister was crying inconsolably. His mother was strong, though. Having grown up in this world, she knew how to face such situations. So she did. After they were alone in the dark, grim place, she searched the room and found an exit. They ran away too. But his mother got hurt, and then they found her and killed her. His sister was so traumatized, she forgot everything about the incident. She still asks him everyday. He recites every detail of that day to her. Everyday, they relive the entire pain. Just so they can remember how strong, brave and selfless their mother was. And the other reason was, they were trying to find the traitor since a long, long time.

The mole of the family. The traitor who became the reason of his mother's death. The one person who was going to regret what he did. Vansh was going to make him regret. He was going to make the person pay. Because after all, Nobody dares to mess with the Raisinghanias. And whoever does, pays for it. 

However, for now, he was getting satisfied by another traitor. His personal assistant. The stupid guy who thought he could betray VR and get away with it.

There he was, kneeling before him. Bruises all over his body. Tears dried on his face. Vansh looked at him and said,

"Anyone who dares to betray VR, has a personal appointment with the Devil fixed on their schedule. You should've known that before you tried to double-cross me!"

"I-I-I'm sorry, Sir!! Please- I beg you! Please forgive me! He threatened my family!"

"And I am threatening your life! If he had threatened your family, you could've told me! You knew that I would help you because you are my employee but you decided to betray me! So now, let's do this... Choose how you want to die! A gun or a knife?"

"Si- Sir, please PLEASE give me a second chance! I have a family!"

"Oh, I have a family too Sagar! Which could've been in danger now if I hadn't caught you because you have been smuggling information since a week! Oh, my rivals would literally kill for some insider information of Raisinghania Industries! You almost gave them that!"

"Sir I- I don't understand... I did give them the information..."

"Oh! What you gave? Those were fake files Sagar! You really thought I would trust you with the secrets of my company so soon? You've been working with me since only seven months."

"But Sir, they said they would kill my family if I brought fake files!"

"Well Sagar, your family's death is completely on you... Now, I have other things to do! So let me just choose for you... I'll kill you with a gun! Quick and easy!"

Vansh's bodyguard, Angre, unlocked his gun and shot Sagar. The poor man's body lay lifeless on the ground. Angre gestured the other men to clean up the mess and followed his Boss walking towards his car.

"What about his family, Boss?"

"What about them, Angre? That man made choices, his family is going to suffer the consequences... That's how the world works... Nothing new. Now, did you find me a new PA?"

"Yes, Boss!! Just like you asked, minimum number of family members, no interview, well qualified."

"How many family members, Angre?"

"Just one, Boss! She lives with her father! Mother is dead. No siblings."

"It's a girl, again? UGH Angre! What did I tell you about hiring Female PAs!?"

"Boss, I think you need to give this girl a chance... She does not seem like a gold digger. She genuinely needs this job. And she's pretty well qualified and good looking, she could've just seduced a rich guy. She didn't, so let her work for some time. Like you said, they never last. So, no harm trying!"

"Why are you defending a stranger, Angre?"

"Why are you judging a stranger, Boss?"

"You know I would kill anyone who talked like that to me"

"But you won't kill your best friend, now would you, Boss?"

"We're alone now! I've told you so many times... You can call me Vansh when we're alone!"

"Sorry, buddy! It just became a habit!"

"But anyways, you're being suspicious! Why are you defending that girl?"

Angre shrugs "She gives me good vibes"

"You haven't even met her."

"Neither have you! So I'm asking you to just give her a chance!"

"Fine! Just because you asked!"

"Now, Boss, you haven't bought Siya this month's gift and according to my sources, she wants a pet mouse."

"Nope! We've discussed this! Olivia HATES mouses. It will create an absolute ruckus in the mansion! No rats in the house!"

"Actually, mice and rats are different but I got your point, so dog then? Maybe? You can't get her another car! She has a lot of those!"

"No, this time, we're upgrading her library!"

"Oh! That's cool idea! I'll get it done right away!"

"And one more thing, tell them I will be late today!"

"Okay!"

At Night

Vansh was walking through the trees again. Like he did each night. But this time he saw something different. There was a girl in the clearance. And she was breathtaking.

He was standing there, in the shadow of the trees and watching her. She was reading a book in her hand, her hair were waving with the wind. Her pale yellow dress was flowing too. She was walking bare footed on the grass, without any particular path. She looked like and angel descended from heavens. Her face lit up in the moon light. Her beautiful black hair glowing like dark thunder clouds clouds in rainy sky. Her brown eyes were too focused on her book to see anything. Then she suddenly looked up, and saw the mansion. She tilted her head in curiosity. He wondered if she would enter the premises. Anyone else would, seeing such a beautiful mansion. But she shook her head, as if reprimanding herself and turned around. 

She walked away, leaving her image forever embossed in his mind. He knew from that moment onwards, he would never forget her.

Ria23 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#5

Image

Posted: 2 years ago
#6

Starting is good.

Edited by S-s10dot2 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago
#7

I don't read most of stories here because of these.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/158255505

If your story have these which I wrote in the post then I will not try your story. I don't like any 3rd angle between leads character be it from past, present and future. I want story between only Riddhima and Vansh and if Riddhima has no other person in her life then I expect Vansh too has no other person in his life. When I read some stories where Riddhima is pure and Vansh had some physical relationship with some others women or any physical scenes of Riddhima with someone else or Vansh being physical with someone else or Vansh past girlfriend came or Riddhima going with someone else then those leave very bad taste for me so I stopped reading those. So if your story has something as those then inform me early.

Your story's staring is good and that's why I am writing those because I don't want to disinterest later. Hopefully you will understand what I am trying to say. I expect story to revolve around Riddhima and Vansh only.

Edited by S-s10dot2 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago
#8

Sorry double posts.

Edited by S-s10dot2 - 2 years ago
RiyaVaghani thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#9

First of all, I swear I am not lying when I say this but all the things you listed are the exact ones that I don't like!!!

Secondly, my story might have a third person coming between them but neither Vansh nor Riddhima would be interested in anyone except each other. It might be one sided obsession or something like that.... I'm still working on that angle.

Third, I myself don't like the things you mentioned so I will never add them in my book. And this was supposed to be revealed later but just to clarify.... Vansh is not a womanizer. and Riddhima is not the kind of person who will take crap from other person. She will retaliate. So, rest assured, my book will have no themes that might disinterest you. Perhaps if I just post the last part I have written, things will clarify more for you.

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Posted: 2 years ago
#10

amazing start👍🏼

do continue❤️