Chapter 1-- continues from Episode 273
"You will never understand me, so now I am not going to even try to make you understand. You can make whatever assumptions you want to. I will not justify anything to you. You have made it loud and clear that I am nobody to you. So from this moment on, you are nothing to me. I break every tie with you."
There was so much more Sai wanted to say to him, ask him. 'Virat Sir, why don't you deny me? Tell me that you have no feelings for Pakhi didi. Please tell me, Virat Sir, that you are taking back all you told me on our wedding day. Tell me, Virat Sir, that you love me...." But since she knew this was just wishful thinking, all she could say to all that. "Ok, Virat Sir. I will move out of your house as soon as we go back to Nagpur."
"What do you mean by move out? That house is yours too, my family is yours too... you don't have to leave..."
She did not let him finish. "The only relationship we have Virat Sir is that of you taking my responsibility—a guardian and ward. If you're breaking even that relation, how can I live in –forget the same room--same house as you? You know I don't want and like charity."
"Charity? I am breaking ties with you, my family isn't."
"All my relations with your family begin and end with you." She kept her tears locked within. She opened her phone and dialed a number.
"Ajinkya, sorry to bother you so late. The other day you mentioned your friend's landlord was looking for a new PG. Can you check if that room is still available?"
"What happened Sai? Is everything alright?"
"Yes Ajinkya—I got a call from Dean Sir. I have not done well in my last HAP test—you know how many classes I have missed. My scholarship is at risk now, so I have decided to move closer to college and stay alone for some time so I can focus on my Abba's dream. That is the only thing that matters to me."
"What about Virat Sir and your family?"
"My family, Ajinkya, I don't have a family...it's Virat Sir's family. And he is equally invested in me becoming a doctor, becoming independent. So I am sure he will be supportive of my decision."
"Sai the room is still available. Sohini was asking around in college again today. I am sure she will be very happy. The landlord was going to increase her rent. Let me know if you need any help moving."
"Thanks Ajinkya...I will take you up on that offer. Virat Sir will be busy with work tomorrow so can you come over to Chavan Nivas around three in the afternoon."
"Are you sure? I mean..."
"Arre baba, don't worry. Virat Sir just had a misunderstanding. And now, it does not even matter."
"What do you mean? You're sure everything is alright?"
"Haan baba...please come tomorrow..."
"So you're missing college tomorrow as well?"
"Yes, this is the last time I am going to miss college because of people from Chavan Nivas. I will count on your notes as always. Good night my dear friend."
"Anytime buddy."
She finished packing her bag. Getting ready for bed, she was about to remove her earrings when her eyes fell on the ring, her birthday gift. She removed the ring and placed it on his nightstand.
"Sai, what are you doing? Please Sai..." His voice was breaking.
There was nothing more to say. It was over for her. She switched off her light and then silently let her tears flow.
Virat wanted to cry out loud. He could not breathe. He wanted to hurt himself for saying what he said. But then he remembered her words. The only relationship she said we share is that of guardian and ward. Really?! Is that all I am to her? He picked up the ring. It is so easy for her to just slip it off her finger. The other day she was ready to sell it—despite me telling her I don’t ever want her to take the ring off, she was prepared to sell it. And now, she just slipped it off. It’s so easy for her, so easy to end this. Why can you not love me, Sai? You hated me on the day we met. Do you still hate me? ‘Do kashti main sawaar!’ How could she say that? The entire family knows and has seen how much I love you, Sai, but why can’t you? Can’t you read the love in my eyes? Or is it that you just don’t care?
Well, Sai, I will not stop you. Not this time. I don’t want to imprison you in a relationship you so abhor.
Virat moved his suitcase from the bed and quietly sat down beside her, his wife, his soul mate, and his only true love. Even tonight, he wanted to caress her soft face. He so wanted to move the strand of hair (his arch-enemy) kissing her cheek. He did not switch off the light. He just sat there, admiring her one last time, taking her in—her fragrance, her light snoring, her everything.
Chapter 2
Her body clock had woken Sai up at her usual wee hours of the morning. But today, she did not have the household chores. She got dressed, took her suitcase and went down to the lobby. She needed to eat something and not get into any conversation with Virat Sir; there was no point. Enough was said and done the night before. 'Was I out of line?' Well, I think this is best for all of us. Pakhi didi is still madly in love with Virat Sir. With Samrat Dada freeing her, everything will be all right. Two people who love each other should be together. And no false or self-imposed worldly obligations should keep them apart. She was determined, and her goal, clear. She sent him a quick text. 'Virat Sir! I am downstairs in the lobby restaurant. Ready to leave when you're ready.'
The alarm woke him up. When he turned off the alarm, he noticed that Sai had sent him a text. He checked her side of the bed. She was missing. Half hoping for an apology for her last night's accusations, he smiled and then read the text. 'Who the hell does she think she is? Ready when you're ready!!' Now she does not even want to be in the same room as me? She thinks of everyone's feelings—how she sympathized with Samrat, my Jeeva, last night. But for me, my feelings, she keeps road-rolling over them, and I keep ignoring that, but not anymore. I am ready to leave, too, Sai Joshi!
The journey back to Nagpur was quiet. Perhaps all were introspecting their own messed-up worlds.
Sai would have preferred going straight to college, but she was the one who had convinced Samrat dada to come home with them, so she thought it was her responsibility to see it through. What was most important was Samrat dada returning home. At the moment it was all that mattered.
On entering Chavan Nivas, Sai was expected the usual—she knew somehow this trip would be all her fault. She was looking forward to the berating, but it was too soon for Dada. "Samrat Dada's entry must be grand. Please wait here Dada. Let us first prepare them for this big surprise, especially Mansi bua." Mohit agreed. Virat did not object.
Sai walked into a series of insults, Virat Sir a horde of questions, and Mohit bhaiya, accusations from the wife. Poor Sunny Bhaiya was also not spared. She let them all vent. "I have a surprise for all of you! A treat for your eyes Mansi Bua, and answers to your many questions Pakhi didi!" She ignored the insult-full retorts from the Chavan parivar. Grabbed Aai and Mansi bua by their arms to lead them to the one person Mansi bua had been yearning to see for over a year now. Samrat was back in Chavan Nivas. Her job here was done. Virat Sir had told her last night to not interfere in his family matters, and she was going to do precisely that. As the family started gathering around their long-lost son, brother, nephew Sai quietly took herself out of the commotion and into her, no Virat Sir's room to start packing to begin a new chapter.
Virat saw her leaving. He wanted to stop her—Sai, you are part of this family, but he had forsaken all rights on her last night. 'She is really going away.'
He could not even follow her. He had to stay right there, try to talk to his Jiva. He could not lose his brother, not because of a woman who turned out to be worthless. So he stood there, listening to Samrat's accusations, and then his final decision. "Thanks to Sai, I am here to fix my mistake. I am sorry Patralekha; I should not have walked out the day after our wedding without any explanations. I should have made it clear then. But I hope it's not too late. I am here to free you so you can live the life as you choose and with whom you choose. I am happy, and I want you to be happy too. Yes, I am here to give you a divorce."
"Have you asked Patralekha what she wants? One year, things have changed Samrat. What do you want Patralekha?" Bhawani kaku looked aghast at the thought of a divorce. What would the world say? She had to stop this at all costs. So she put Patralekha on the spot, and Patralekha decided to run away from the room instead of being honest.
When Sai stopped hearing sounds from below, she went looking for Aai. Instead, she found her in the kitchen. "Aai, do you have a few minutes. I have something important to discuss."
"What is it Sai bai, hungry again? Give me a few minutes, and I will be in your room. I have made something special for you. And I want to hear all about your trip."
Seeing all the bags, Aai's smile vanished. "What's all this Sai, why are you packing instead of unpacking? Something did not look right between you and Virat."
"Aai, it's nothing like that. I just need to focus on my studies and Virat Sir agrees. My grades are suffering and if this continues Aai, I will lose my scholarship and will never be able to fulfill my Abba's dream. Aai, you know that is the only thing that matters to me, na?"
"You are not going anywhere. It is ok if you lose your scholarship! Virat will pay your fees. He is after all your husband."
"Aai, when will you accept that Virat Sir and I are not really husband and wife? This marriage was, is and will always remain a deal."
"Deal, deal, deal—Sai you are going to ruin your relation with Virat—why can't you see that for him this is not just a deal. He truly cares for you Sai."
"Aai, yes I know he cares for me, but only because I am his responsibility. Everything he has done for me is because of the promise he made to Abba. Without that promise, I mean nothing to him. But this is not about that Aai. This is about me becoming a successful doctor. Aai, remember you had told me that I need to learn to balance my studies and my obligations at home—well I am failing miserably at that. I need to stay longer at college to make up for all the missed classes, lab work. And you know what a big deal it becomes when I don't come home on time. I need this Aai. If I fail my Abba, my whole existence will be futile."
"Sai, I cannot let you go…you are the reason this family is so happy today. You brought back Samrat. You have done so much for us, me—don't leave us Sai."
"I am not leaving you Aai. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I just need space to focus on my dream. I am in the same town. You and I can meet anytime you want. And I promise to come here whenever I have free time. Aai, please."
"Sai, with Samrat divorcing Patralekha, with you going away, do you know what that means?"
"Aai, this is a triangle between Samrat Dada, Pakhi Didi and Virat Sir. And it has always been a triangle, by including me (just a forced obligation) let's not turn this into a rectangle." Sai laughed and Aai could not help join her.
"Sai, you are making a big mistake. You are leaving the arena open for Patralekha."
"I was never in the arena Aai, it was only Pakhi didi's misconception. She is the one in Virat Sir's heart and she will always be there. This was never a competition—I never got into it. Why would I, knowing that I am only going to lose?!"
"Sai, Sai, Sai—what do I do with you. When will you start seeing what all are seeing?"
"Aai, when you see something through a red glass, everything you see is red—you all see us as husband and wife. I know the truth. Anyway Aai, I need a favor. This is Samrat Dada's big day; I don't want to make a big deal about leaving. Can you please help manage that? Ajinkya will be coming to pick me up around three."
"Sai—I cannot let you go."
"Aai, I have always looked up to you as my mother and not my mother-in-law. Today, what would your advice be if I were truly your daughter who is struggling to achieve the one dream that keeps her alive? Would you hold her back to work on a relationship that does not exist?"
Aai pulled Sai into a tight hug and they both cried. Sai knew Aai had understood this to be a final goodbye. "Sai, I will always stand by you. You are my daughter and I mean it. Go bala go fulfill your dream. If you and Virat are meant to be together you will. If not then you're right, how much ever you try you will not succeed. Bring your things one by one to my room. I'll take some stuff now while all are busy with Patralekha."
Virat could not hold back his tears. He had hoped Aai would stop Sai from leaving. But it appeared Aai had also given up on him and Sai. After all, I have put Sai through—the physical abuse, the accusations of illicit relations, and so much more—he had lost Aai's confidence. Does Aai really think I don't deserve this beautiful soul? He was about to enter the room when he saw Samrat walking in the same direction. He was not ready to talk to him—not in this state. So he continued to stand, concealing himself behind the door. Well, Samrat was not looking for him anyway.
"Sai, can I come in? Can we talk?"
Sai was not surprised to see Samrat Dada. In fact, she was hoping to get some one-on-one time with Dada. "Sure dada—please come in!"
"What's all this Sai, are you going somewhere again?"
"Yes, dada, I am going to stay closer to college for a few days to make up for some lost lessons."
"Is this because of me?"
"Dada, please. This has nothing to do with you or anyone else for that matter—I just need to focus on my studies. My Abba's and my only dream is that I become a successful doctor, and staying away from college is becoming quite a challenge."
It seemed like Samrat did not want to probe, at least not yet. "Sai, firstly thank you for making me realize my mistake, for convincing me to come back home. You know why I am here, right?"
"Yes, dada I know—but I hope you will talk to Pakhi didi before making any decisions. She has a say in this as well—you cannot make another unilateral decision."
Samrat smiled. "Now I understand why Mohit is in such an awe of you."
"Dada, will you do me one favor? Will you talk to Virat Sir, please? Please talk to him and try to understand his perspective. I am not sure why Pakhi didi decided to marry you when she was clearly in love with Virat Sir—must have been some misunderstanding between them. But this I am sure that Virat Sir never intended to hurt you. In fact he can never hurt anyone and perhaps that is the reason for all of this. Virat Sir has missed you so much—he has told me so much about you, so many fun stories with you. Every time he speaks about you he has a sparkle in his eye. And he never lost hope—he was sure that you are alive and that you will return. And see, he was right. So please Dada."
Samrat was smiling again. "Sai, we are very lucky that you have become part of this family. And Virat is very lucky that you are his wife.."
She interrupted him. "Wife—no no you're mistaken…I am only his responsibility that too a forced one."
"What do you mean?"
"Well you may remember that Virat Sir had to leave your wedding celebrations midway."
Samrat nodded. "It was to rescue me from a goon who had kidnapped me and was forcefully marrying me against my wishes. Virat Sir successfully stopped that wedded, but that goon Jagtap managed to escape. It took Virat Sir and the force (my Abba was a police officer too) a few days and a stint operation to get him out of his hiding. But amidst all that my Abba, my entire world was snatched from me. He died saving Virat Sir's life. In his last moments, however, he extracted a promise from Virat Sir—to take care of me.
I am pretty sure when Abba had asked for that promise, he did not mean for Virat Sir to marry me—in fact, Abba and I were very clear that we would think of my marriage only after completing my studies. But the village folks, who couldn't sign up to take care of me but at the same time were worried about my safety from Jagtap and his father, forced Virat Sir to marry me. They insisted that he had to do this as he had promised Kamal Joshi. And so Virat Sir married me, and since that day, he has taken up my responsibility. He is the kindest person I have known, but all he has done for me is just because I am his responsibility. And he has told it himself that he would have done the same even if we were not married."
"Sai, but you two are married, that is serious business. What do you mean by just responsibility?"
"Well, Virat Sir and I made a deal –since both of us did not want to marry each other, Virat Sir made it very clear before our marriage that I will only be his responsibility until such time I am not financially independent. Once I become a doctor and am independent then he and I will go separate ways."
"But what about you Sai, you've been married to him for what a year now? Don't you have any feelings for him?"
"Of course I do, I care a lot for him, but only as a ward who has feelings for her guardian. He is nothing more to me." She couldn't look Dada in his eyes. She was fixated on her toes that were trying to dig deeper into the floor, trying perhaps to open it so she could disappear.
"Sai, from the little I know you, I know you don't lie, so look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for Virat, your husband."
Bracing herself, she looked up. "Dada, my feelings don't matter anyway—Virat Sir is committed to a promise he made someone that he will never love any other woman. He told me so on our wedding day. His exact words were soon after the wedding pheras– 'Sai I am making all these promises but do not expect anything from me as a wife does from a husband. You are my responsibility and that is all you will be to me as I have promised someone.' And I promised him that I would not come in between his promise. The least I can do for all he has done for me."
"What about Virat—it's been a year. Are you sure there is nothing you two feel for each other beyond this responsibility crap?"
"I don't know about Virat Sir, he has never told me otherwise neither have I asked him as I know that his heart is already occupied and not with me."
Sai, my love, you don't know anything. I love you so much that it hurts. You are the only person that matters to me. You are the only one who lives and will always live in my heart. But I am not going to tell you. You want to leave me, go ahead. I will wait for you, forever and beyond.
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