Dear Diary...
Summary: While rummaging for his invoices, Shiva grabs Raavi's diaries accidentally. Extremely bored, he decides to read the diary, expecting entertainment of a lifetime, but is extremely shocked with the secrets he ends up reading.
Notes: A very, very rough story since I typed this up while half asleep and without thinking much. So please forgive me for the multiple mistakes you may find.
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Ever since returning to Somnath, Shiva has found himself becoming more and more sour. In the two weeks they've left, there were many backorders, missing shipments, and angry customers. Kaka had taken care of the store the best he could, but that ridiculous, idiot, chutiya Janardhan had been playing behind the scenes to bring ruin to the store.
As much as he wanted to storm into Janardhan's house and punch him black and blue, he couldn't. Especially since his bhabi reminded him that Janardhan was his Rishita bhabi's father. Even Gaumbi, who usually was fine with teaching a lesson to Janardhan seem uninterested. He even seemed uninterested and apathetic towards Dhara bhabi... but Shiva decided he wasn't going to touch that problem. Especially since he just tasted his bhabi's anger... he had no desire to anger her again.
He entered his bedroom and went to his almirah. Since he couldn't beat up Janardhan, and he didn't have the time to speak to investors or the suppliers, and the chipkali was nowhere to be seen, he had to busy himself with the invoices.
He opened the almirah door and immediately cursed when shimmery, outdated clothing fell out. The chipkali always commented on his clothing. Saying it was dirty, old, and smelly. But he never really had a chance to comment on her clothing. If he had, she would know exactly how utterly ridiculous she looked. At least his clothes reflected how hard he worked. Her clothing just turned her into an oversized, puffy, disco ball. Even Kanta Aunty who was a grandmother for the third time was more fashionable than Raavi...
He tossed her clothing to the side. As much as he wanted to burn the clothing in front of her, he decided it was better to let her wear the ugly, outdated clothing. At least he looked more fashionable standing next to her and even Rishita Maharani. Those two "girls" didn't get the memo of comfort triumphing fashion. But he wasn't too surprised. Those two were absolute airheads in every respect. One thought about Dev all the time and the other's mind was filled with dust and air. Or actually... maybe that described them both...
He pulled out the invoice book, immediately opening it.
Dear Diary,
Today, I went to the Pandya house--,
Shiva frowned. Last he remembered, he wasn't a sap who began invoices with "Dear Diary." He closed the book and observed the cover. The cover was pale blue with stickers that read, "DON'T READ!" and "THIS IS RAAVI'S PROPERTY!" and "2020."
The chudail's diary. Shiva snorted. Don't read? Why would I bother reading something as dumb and irrelevant as this diary? His eyes skimmed the cover. It's probably filled with Dev jaap since the single brain cell god gave you only lives and breathes "Dev!"
As much as he wanted to toss the diary away, he couldn't help but be curious. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Especially since this dumb diary can provide him the entertainment he truly needed after that miserable, sorry of an excuse trip to the haveli.
He made himself comfortable on the bed and opened the diary again.
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the Pandya house to prove my friends wrong. They all think Shiva is gorgeous and manly--,
His eye twitched in annoyance. How dare that chipkali write about me! He quickly flipped through the pages of the book. The entire book was filled with her thoughts, and Shiva was sure that he chanced upon the one page where she talked, no insulted him.
He glanced down at the page. He would decided what he would do after reading what she had to say about him.
They all think Shiva is gorgeous and manly. But only I know that he smells like dukhan. Literally... those oils and masalas, I can smell them from a kilometer away.
Despite hearing those insults from her many times, he still had the urge to throttle her. At least he smelled like dukhan and hard-work. She smelled like laziness and failure at any given time.
So, I decided the best way for them to understand just how horrible he stinks was to steal one of his shirts. I would steal the shirt, show it to my friends, they would become revolted, and then we could all agree that Shiva Pandya is not the hottest man of all of Somnath. And I thought my plan would work. The elephant slept until noon at least--,
In the past two weeks he was married to her, he was the one who woke up first every time. And every time he woke up, he would be blessed with the sight of her holding on to his legs as a sign of worship. Because he didn't want to disturb her worship, he went back to sleep--hence why he woke up later than her. But, if he let that gadhedi sleep to her devices, she would be waking up at 8PM at minimum. She was a chudail after all who worked the night shift.
But that day I was blessed cursed with the sight of seeing Shiva wake up shirtless. Dhara Di had just splashed water on him (the man took a bath finally!!), and Shiva stretched like a cinema villain. He tells me that I have claws, but he clearly has pickaxes for hands! He seemed so villainous with those never ending muscles. Shiva Pandya was not the hottest man of Somnath. He was the most bhoot of bhootnaths! He's a serial killer for sure. That body probably killed people!
If there was one person, no two people, he desperately wanted to kill it was Maami and his ridiculous wife.
Serial killer's eyes landed on me and I completely forgot about my plan to steal his shirt. I immediately tried to hide myself the best I could but the bhootnath grabbed me. He tossed me out of the house like he usually did, but this time I was surprised. He didn't smell like dukhan for once. Instead, he smelt like a combination of sandalwood, roses, and jasmine.... he used the soap that I typically use!! Ugh, now I need to find a new soap... I can't smell like Shiva. I really, really can't!
The entry ended right there causing Shiva to scoff. Though it happened a year ago, he vaguely remembered the chipkali coming to his store and asking him for soap that didn't smell like, "Sandalwood, roses, and jasmine." That day, she annoyed him greatly. Every time he handed her a soap that fit her qualifications, she would make a face. Tired of seeing her useless face, he just threw every soap they had at her. After that, he luckily didn't see much of her.
Don't want to smell like me, huh? Shiva thought back to the soap in the bathroom. She now used soap that smelled like almonds and honey. Right after this, I'll take a bath and use her soap. Let's see what she has to say when she realizes I smell exactly like her.
He flipped the page, expecting to finally read about Dev.
Dear Diary,
Shiva and I--,
Shiva sat up straight with confusion. Again? He glanced down at the piece of paper with slight disgust. He didn't want to read about the chipkali butchering his character and personality. He thought reading one page about himself was more than enough. But two pages? He flipped the page, hoping to read about Dev, and hoping he would get a good laugh with her silly Dev thoughts. But, he was surprised to see his name yet again.
Shiva and I had a gol gappa competition. I made sure to compete after I knew Shiva ate his bhabi's dinner. And luckily, I won!
He flipped the page again, this time satisfied to see his brother's name on the page.
I found out that Dev was wearing orange to the Diwali celebrations, and I already had an orange dress lined out. But then, I found out Shiva was wearing a yellow kurta. So, I changed into a yellow dress last minute just to make him mad. Also, I hated the yellow dress and was hoping Shiva would spill juice on it just so I could get rid of it. I spent the whole night going after Shiva, annoying him in the best way possible! It was so, so much fun! Unfortunately, every time he was angry, Dhara Di stepped in to prevent him from spilling juice over me... I wish Dhara Di didn't interfere. I hate this dress and kind of need Shiva's anger.
He flipped the page again, hoping at least now, he would see an entry about how obsessed Raavi was for Dev.
God, it has to be a sin for someone to look this manly and muscular. This man needs to go to jail. He's attracting all the wrong attention. This man looks so good when he's wearing yellows and reds. I have to constantly tell my friends Shiva is not worth it and that they should go and find someone else to crush on. God, can't you just make Shiva all pimply and gross? Why do you give me the pimples and Shiva the clear skin? It's not fair at all! And why does he have to look so good in my favorite colors? Why can't he just look like a chimpanzee? Luckily, he doesn't have that much yellow or red. Otherwise, I would lose every fight we have.
At this point, he was becoming a little concerned. They hated each other. She should be writing about how much she hated him. But instead, he was forced to read these embarrassing accounts of how she noticed his body, his dressing sense, and his attitude.
I'm so happy I'm getting a devar who has absolute swag! Shiva's anger is hot. And his love is even hotter! Can't wait for him to put me on a pedestal and treat me like the goddess I am. The way he supported Dhara Di today in the market... ohhh, I can't wait! I can't wait until he sings praises about me all the time. And god, his fashion. I always thought it was terrible... but man, oh man, do I love those sleeveless clothes. His muscles are the main attraction. No one would dare mess with me in the future if they saw those hot shot muscles. I can't wait for Shiva to be my future bodyguard!!
Shiva closed the diary, seemingly having enough of this bakwass. He went back into the almirah and rummaged through. As he expected, there were many more books. Dating all the way from 2009 to present day. He pulled out the 2009 diary hoping he would see a much more sane Raavi.
Dear Diary,
Shiva and I played house... well, I wanted to play and Shiva was forced into doing so. I was the Mom and Shiva was the son. I made sure to give him many hugs to make him mad. I think I succeeded because he was so red with anger! I love the house game!
Shiva clearly remembered the traumatizing house game. They randomly assigned the roles, and he was left being the "baby" while Raavi was the "mother." She annoyed him so much that day. Putting makeup on him, using rubber bands to tie his hair up in multiple little ponytails, feeding him his least favorite foods. However, he was sincerely surprised she did not write anything about Dev. While he played the role of the "son," Dev played the role of "Raavi's husband." Dev kissed Raavi's hand that day, and instead of remembering that incident, she remembered all the times she coddled Shiva?
It was concerning and confusing to say in the least. He thought about Raavi many times in the past, too. He thought about how stupid she was, how irritating her face was, how inflated her ego was, how ugly she was as a person. He never liked wasting that much of his precious time thinking about her, and he even believed it was always one sided. While he thought about chipkali Raavi, she thought of Dev. But, these diaries of her were proving otherwise.
Whenever Dev was mentioned, he was only a passing thought. The most he'd read was: Dev Pandya is too cute to be true! I can't wait to be his wife one day.
Whereas for him, she wrote pages and pages:
Dear diary, today Shiva ended up bunking class. Because I couldn't let him have all the fun, I followed him to see just what exactly he was doing. Turns out he was trying to eat some food. In the two hours he was bunking, he ate gol gappa, cheese sandwich, pav bhaji, and drank lassi. He tried to eat chole, but like usual, he failed to get it. As much as I wanted to fight for him, I decided I would just secretly watch today. I need all the blackmail I can get. Especially since I will have to one day use it when I get married to Dev!
Dear diary, today there was a girl who was flirting with Shiva. I was soooo mad! Was that girl blind? Shiva Pandya of all people? Chi. Yuck. Gross! Nothing about Shiva is appealing whatsoever. Yeah, his hair is long enough to run your fingers through. Yeah, he has strong enough muscles that will protect you. Yeah, when he is not cranky, he has a tolerable enough personality. Yeah, he is a complete jokester that makes life interesting. But Shiva... appealing? No way. How can that girl not see he smells like dukhan all the time? Plus he's so dumb! He scored a 32 on the last test! Even I scored a 35 on that test! I need to show that girl Dev... he's the real deal.
Dear diary, Shiva's muscles came to use today! Both of us decided to bunk class because it was so boring. Shiva went to a mango field, and I followed because I had nothing better to do. Even though he could climb trees, Shiva spent the time lifting me so I could get the mangoes. I definitely have a golden finger because every mango I picked tasted very, very sweet! Even Shiva complimented me! Well... okay, he just grunted, but that totally means he approves. If he hated the mangoes, he certainly would've throttled me!
Dear diary, it's time for me to leave Somnath. The past week was an absolute blur. I didn't want to leave, but I knew I had to. College education is very important for me. Especially since I need to be well-educated if I am ever going to marry into the Pandya house. But still... I don't want to leave Somnath. I don't want to live a world where I am not fighting Shiva... hopefully I can still fight with him... but maybe this is for the better. Maybe I can come up with pranks myself to play on Shiva so he can fall in love with me and accept me as his bhabi! Anyway, I didn't have hope that I could have fun outside of Somnath. But, before my train left the station, Shiva came running and handed me a book filled with puzzles. He told me that if I could solve all the puzzles in the book without anyone's help, he'll think about allowing me to visit the Pandya family.
Dear diary... I am dying... actively dying. I don't like college. I don't like being away from Somnath. And most of all, that stupid puzzle book... it's been three months and I still can't solve a single puzzle! Why me? Why couldn't Shiva give me an easier puzzle book? It was so much more fun fighting and arguing with Shiva... these dumb puzzles don't give me the same thrill. Especially since I can never win with them.
Dear diary, I'm finally back in Somnath. I went to the Pandya house, and I was so happy to see Shiva. He still looked and acted the same way. Awful, insufferable, and ugly. I was really scared he would change. But I'm glad he's still the same Shiva I saw and grew up with before. He even insulted me the first time he saw me! It was music to my ears! I was so tired of all the polite boys at college. I just needed someone like Shiva. Someone who was a complete challenge, and I am so glad he's still the same person! And I'm really glad he didn't bring up the puzzle book...
Dear diary, it's the day before my marriage. I'm so excited. I'll finally be a part of the Pandya family. My husband will be the most handsome man of all of Somnath, and I will have the best devar in the whole world. Well... okay, he's not the best devar yet since he still hates me. But that doesn't matter! I'll charm him and make him fall in love with me. He can't say no to my beautiful face! And once he falls in love with me, he will protect me like he protects Dhara Di. But before all of that... I can't wait to see his sour face once he realizes he needs to call me "bhabi!"
Dear diary, I saw Shiva's muscles again after so many years. I was hoping he would age like an old man and swell up like a puffer fish. But even after so many years, he's maintained an amazing body. It's probably even better sculpted than before. I don't understand. He eats like a pig, yet he still maintains an amazing body. Meanwhile, I eat an extra chip, and I gain ten pounds... As much as I didn't want to see his body, I couldn't help myself. My heartbeat was faster, my hands were a little shaky, and my thoughts were all over the place. That idiot dushman prevented me from enjoying the scene... he never listens to my words, but that day, he put on the shirt like a dutiful boy. That awful man... if he was only shirtless a little longer... I could've burned more calories by just watching him... and then I can eat all the chips I ever want!
Dear diary, Shiva and I fell into a bathtub together. Life is not working in the way I want it to! I wanted to see him all wet, shirtless, and bothered! I didn't want him to see me like that! Luckily, he was shy about everything too (cute!). He quickly handed me the towel and left for the night. I don't know where he went, but when I saw him the following morning, he still avoided my eyes. It was the first time I saw the bhoothnath so calm and tame. I wish I could see more of this side!
Dear diary, seeing Shiva's reaction today was so funny. I purposely hid all of his clothes to see what he would do. He seemed so worried and angry! I love it when the tables are turned and I am the one teasing him! As much as I wanted to get rid of his clothes, I left all the clothes out to dry. They should be clean and spiffy by now. I won't let Rishita have another chance to say anything about my husband. I'm the only one who can insult him. But, she is right... Shiva needs a wardrobe upgrade. He needs more sleeveless shirts. I'm going to have to suggest a shopping trip to Shiva soon... but I don't know how. He's been so angry and mad at me the past few days...
Shiva closed the most recent diary. He spent the better half of his afternoon reading all those diaries. As confused as he was about being the "star" of Raavi's thoughts, he was relieved and slightly happy. Despite their many fights, she never once actively insulted him. In fact, she seemed to have a couple of positive memories with him... which was impressive to say in the least because even he felt the same way.
When he found out she was going away for college, he felt lost for the entire week. His sparring buddy was finally leaving him, and he didn't know what to do or how to react. The puzzle book was his way of having her be constantly reminded of his presence. But, he was glad he didn't need it. Even without the book, she would've remembered him regardless.
His lips curved upwards. She was the only one who could evoke every type of emotion from him. Whether it be anger, happiness, sadness, or jealousy. He always thought it was one-sided, but these diary entries proved that he had just as strong of an effect on her.
Just as she was the center of his universe, he seemed to be at the center of hers. And he was positively thrilled.
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Raavi was absolutely annoyed by the sheer amount of work she had to do in the past 24 hours. She thought she could rest and write some more in her diary after coming back to Somnath. But, everything that could go wrong went wrong. First, Dhara Di began her nonsense of demanding Raavi to make Shiva tea in the morning. Raavi still remembered Shiva's initial reaction and had no desire to see her husband's anger again. Second, her Maasi-Ma wanted her to drop by the house, and well, after that, she was stuck listening to the endless "You're better than Shiva!"
And that didn't even begin to cover all the chores she had to do in the house! Well... both houses since she visited her Maasi-Ma!
Now that the day was nearly over, she went straight into her room, not even bothering to stop by the kitchen to see if Dhara Di wanted any help. Tomorrow, she will ask Dhara Di, but today, she will relax with her diary--,
Raavi paused in her steps when she noticed Shiva standing in front of the almirah wearing only a towel. In the past few days, she has been graced with shirtless Shiva multiple times, and she was loving every moment.
Like usual, when he noticed her presence, he immediately turned away. She closed her eyes, wondering what insult she could say to get him to be more brave, but she didn't even have to do the work. Because, at the next second he quietly asked her, "Is your heartbeat a little faster?"
Raavi frowned... wondering just how he knew about her heartbeat. He turned to her with a smirk as he pulled out a yellow sleeveless shirt. Raavi already felt her heart drop. Yellow and Shiva usually meant she was too distracted to think of comebacks. And pair that with the fact that the shirt was sleeveless...
He walked towards her and reached out for her trembling hand. The base of his thumb pressed across her hand to ease her nerves. It worked for a split second... at least until the tingling started. He glanced up at her, "I have something that I want to ask of you."
His words were soft and calm. Very different from the usual tone he used. However, she was tricked with this voice in the past.... regardless, she still looked up at him hopefully.
"I want to go on a shopping trip," he mumbled as Raavi's eyes widened in excitement.
A shopping trip?!? This is the best day ever! No doubt Shiva will let me buy anything I want. He's essentially my human purse. If I want it, I get it.
She remembered the restaurant he ordered the kachori from. Prior to going to the restaurant, he sat down with her and asked for what she wanted. He never said no regardless of how much she ordered which made her appreciate him all the more.
She turned to the almirah, "That's great!" she quickly rummaged through her dresses to figure out which dress was best for the shopping mall. Based on the yellow shirt he was wearing, her best bet was to go with a similar shade of yellow. But as she sifted through her clothing, she noticed that her diaries were placed in a mix matched order.
Who could've touched these diaries... other than Shiva.... her eyes widened with horror. She turned to Shiva who now was fully dressed and wiping his hair. He seemed very happy and self-satisfied... a stark contrast from his angry self this morning.
"Y-you read my diaries didn't you!" she burst out.
This is bad. Really, really bad. I wrote too much....
He didn't answer, and that was all the reassurance she needed. Her hands balled into fists, "How could you!?!" she was absolutely disheartened. Her most personal and private thoughts. Thoughts she never would've told Shiva.... are now out in the open.
"14, 961 times."
"W-what?" though she was angry, she couldn't help but become confused.
"You mentioned my name 14, 961 times in your diary entries starting from 2009," he rubbed his nose. "And Dev was mentioned 75 times in all those years."
Her heart tumbled further into her chest. She knew she talked about Shiva more than what was appropriate, but she didn't think he counted. The number only served to further drive her embarrassment about the entire situation.
"It was surprising to say in the least, but I still think I mentioned your name more," Shiva thought pensively.
"You don't have to mock--," Raavi stopped when she realized what Shiva said. She glanced up at Shiva with wonder, and he smirked at her. He placed a book into her hands. Picking it up, she glanced at the cover, and with a small smile, she looked up at Shiva, "You write diaries too?"
"No, I don't. I don't do the ridiculous "Dear Diary" that you have," he opened the diary and Raavi noticed that the year was 2010. "Dhara bhabi mentioned that I always needed to improve my handwriting. So, she made me do these workbooks." He flipped open to a random page. "You mentioned my name 14, 961 times, but I certainly mentioned your name 26, 722 times or more."
"There's no way," Raavi breathed out with surprise. She gently flipped through the book and decided she would read it as soon as she could. "This is just one book."
"I have more," Shiva smirked.
"More!" Raavi's eyes widened with excitement. Hopefully these books don't say I am a chipkali or a chudail.
"I'll let you read every last one, Raavi," he said gently as he maintained eye contact. "But just do me a favor?"
She groaned. Knowing Shiva, he would ask for some type of impossible favor.
"Help me get revenge on Janardhan and we can call it even."
Raavi's eyes lingered on the first page.
It's the beginning of the new school year. We have all new teachers, new principal, and even new students. But... I am very happy about one thing. Raavi is in my class. She's my favorite classmate, the only one who can listen to me, can fight me, etc. but DON'T tell her!
"All the diaries?" she sincerely hoped Shiva would keep up his promise.
"All the diaries," he nodded his head. "It can be our dirty little secret, what do you say?"
Raavi grinned. This was the perfect opportunity for her to get to know Shiva, and she couldn't wait!
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