Didn't know what got into me to pen this down. I don't know how much of it makes sense. But I wish to pay tribute to the relationship that I have come to love over the past year by showing the aftermath in a dark light. Strange thoughts!!!đ
The last thread
The piece of dupatta fluttered in the wind, making Anirudh turn his head. He put the pen down and went to the window. He gently caressed the white dupatta with his ink-stained fingers. In their short journey together, Manorama had gifted Anirudhwith many life lessons and memories to cherish her. But this piece of white cloth, which she used to bandage him was his closest.
When Manoramadied, she didnât feel bad for dying young, she felt bad that she couldnât do more. She held his hand in her weak fingers and thanked him for giving her the opportunity to serve their country and said she would always watch over him and pray that his every wish be fulfilled. Anirudh was there as life left her eyes and her body felt cold. But he always remembered her with boundless love for their country in her heart and dream of an azaad bharat in her eyes.
As a mark of respect and the bond they shared, he tied her white dupatta piece to the window of his study room. Whenever it fluttered, Anirudh knew she was watching over him, far from his reach but still with him, saving him from the bouts of loneliness she often slips into.
The clock hit1:30 am and a broken smile slipped past Anirudhâs tired face. He forgot the countless nights he spent over the years hoping the time freezes and he doesnât have to see another day and fight with the demons of his heart. Sighing, he went to his study table and took out a bottle of whiskey, and poured himself a glass. He drained the entire glass in a single shot, the bitter taste of the whiskey burnt his throat and an empty stomach. The burning sensation in his lower abdomen momentarily overpowering the fire burning in his heart. A cough escaped his wet lips and his eyes moistened with pain.
The dawn of tomorrow brings Anirudhâs struggles to an end. His lifeâs dream, saving the future of many girls from being destroyed under the name of traditions and letting them preserve their innocence and identity is coming to fruition. After 8 years of his unrelenting pursuit, multiple attempts, finally the child marriage act is in place. No little girl will be forced to become a manâs wife without attaining the age of truly knowing what it means. The court had passed a decree to declare the existing child marriages as null and void only if the egirl wishes to remove herself from the relationship.
Though the court gave permission, the society had reservations about discarding the existing marriages. There were many girls who are still a victim of child marriage, they were being abused, humiliated and treated as nothing but vessels to carry children and silently serve their families. Anirudh had tried to educate them, empower them but the stigma of how they will be perceived stopped them from coming to the court. Anirudh was trying his best but in vain.
Then Bondita had suggested to him a solution. After 8 years of silence and curt replies to his questions, it was the first conversation she initiated and her first and final words were âI will set an example to them. I will come to the court and express my wish to declare our marriage null and void. If someone makes the first move, others will get the courage to follow.â Anirudh wanted to say something, but the words died on his lips when his eyes went to the mark on her right hand. Bondita didnât wait for his response and left. She had stopped waiting for his response a long time ago.
There was nothing left in their relationship to revive. One half of it died the day he married Manorama and the other half, the day Bondita gave up on them, the memory still afresh in his mind. He had expected her anger, her tears, her outburst when society blamed her but he had not expected her indifference. She tried to erase his name from her hand. She scrubbed with soap, with turmeric, and eventually a stone. The skin started peeling off and blood started oozing out. Bondita didnât cry, even a single tear didnât escape her eyes. Anirudhtried to stop her but her words left him speechless. âAap ne rishta hi mitadiya, mujhe naam mita ne ka hag toh hoga hi na. Mein iss naam ka bhoj nahi sehsakti.â
The mark on her hand and her words still haunted him, giving him many sleepless nights. Anirudh had broken her heart in a single instance, but Bondita showed the damage at multiple steps. Bondita had wanted to leave the house and when he ordered her to stay, she made him remember that he had lost the right to command her. It was only kakaâs words that made her stay. âBahu ban kar nahi toh meri beti ban karraho. Kaka sasur ji nahi kaka bulao. Anirudh ki wajah se hamara rishta juda parkya tumne hume pita se kam maana aur kyahumne tumhe beti se kamâ. Bondita broke down into tears and held kaka tightly. Anirudh tried to thank kaka later but Trilochan Roy Choudary waved him off.
Bondita had distanced herself completely from Anirudh over time. She helped Koeli with household work, took care of kaka, and spent time with him but mostly kept to her studies. Anirudh never received another complaint from the principal. In fact, it was only heaps of praise for her talent and dedication. Anirudh felt proud like he was able to put Bondita on the right path. But Bondita didnât seem happy. Neither she smiled when people praised her nor she felt bad when she received taunts. She neither complained nor argued, she remained unfazed by everything.
And Anirudh realized that he had pushed her too far. And he gave away his right to pull her back from pain. Her hatred, he would have endured happily but her silence, he didnât expect and it pained him. When Bonditawent to Kolkata for her higher studies, Anirudh felt a hope stir in his heart that a new place will soothe her wounds and make her see a new beginning. But he was a fool to think so.
He tried to observe Bondita from the shadows when she used to visit Kaka. He tried to listen to any glimmer of playfulness in her voice or the glint of mischief in her eyes. But there was none. There was a serene smile on her face, a mixture of happiness and pain. Happiness for meeting the man she had come to see as her father and pain for all the unwanted memories that are tied with this house, with him. Anirudh had damaged her beyond repair. He was so blinded by his desire to make her put all of her focus on studies that he had forgotten that she was just a little girl with a gentle heart beneath all that intelligence and strength.
Kaka was the thread dangling between them, still tying them emotionally. And it broke the day, he passed away. Though Binoy was the father of Anirudh and his younger siblings, it was Kaka who gave them the unconditional love of a father. Kakaâs demise left a huge hole in Anirudhâslife. But it was Bondita who was inconsolable.
Bondita fell on her knees unable to bear the loss. Her painful sobs wracked her whole body and Anirudh unable to stop himself had hugged her. Bondita had not refused his comfort. Perhaps she didnât register in her overwhelming pain who it was or for a mere second, she truly forgot the distance that was created between them, by him. She wrapped her tiny hands around his waist and ducked her head under his chin. Her heart-breaking cries soon turned into muffled sobs and Anirudh just caressed her hair while speaking comforting words. Suddenly Bonditaâs body went still and beforeAnirudh can comprehend, she pushed him away. Her eyes burnt with fury, there was accusation swirling in them.
âHow can you?â her eyes blazed like daggers. âWith what right?â She didnât utter a word but Anirudh understood every question,n she was shooting through her tear-filled eyes. She never accused him, she never questioned him openly. People were always perplexed, the girl who challenged every norm, every custom that tried to tie women down, never questioned Anirudh Roy Choudary for his unjustified behavior towards her. Anirudh learned the answer one day from Kaka. âShe loved you, she truly did. That is why she couldnât and she never will. Some wounds go beyond questions, accusations, and anger.â
Their non-existent relationship doesnât need any court to make it null and void. But if it can be served as an example to make other women gather courage, then what a noble way to end their relationship. Tomorrow is the day Anirudh and Bonditawill be legally separated. And in some corner of his heart, Anirudh was wishing that at least in some sense, in some place, he can still keep their names together.
Rotten tomatoes and chappals not allowed. Since my heart is already aching with pain which is going to stay for some time.
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