Originally posted by: subhashree126
Both parts are amazing
You are an awesome writer
Loved the way it is written
Thank you so very much for this
Chapter 3
Tears streamed down her face as Suman scribbled the pen on her diary
How it is like to feel your inners bawling under the seems of your skin?
How it is like to feel a whip of somebody's words in your heart?
How it is like to let your skin heal so that you could cut it more the next time?
She let the antiseptic dry on her cut. It felt exactly the opposite of what it had felt when she was cutting it. While the razor worked on her skin, she felt liberating - opening up literally, and when the wound closed itself- it felt like she was getting caged, she was holding an ocean of storms.
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Shravan couldn't help but feel his stomach growl. It wasn't just about food but something bothered him about Suman. So much so that he promised to not poke her "much" for a few coming days. He shoved away from his comforter and got up on his slippers. It felt fuzzy and dizzy at the same time. 2 in the night, wasn't really the time to wake the Tiwari's for a snack. So, he just walked down towards the kitchen in hushed steps. When he opened up the fridge, he found a choco bar lying untouched. Most probably Veer's pneumonia had saved the snack. Thinking that he would be doing a favor to the kid, he opened the wafer and bit a piece of chocolate and milk.
Insomnia wasn't new to him. His thoughts had an endless trail to cover, it started from the day his father was wrongly accused, to all the memories of Colonel Vijay Tiwari which haunted him. As he walked towards the main door and then towards the lawn, he saw a shawl sprawled over the floor, which had an elaborate embroidery of kings and queens. He had seen it so many times and had memorized it be Suman's favorite.
What was she doing here?
On Shravan's arrival, Suman became alert. She saw him munching an ice cream bar and then looked at his baby face and messed hair. He gelled them so tightly in the day, that she almost prayed that he might forget to do it for once. The way he always kept his hair flowing 7 years back. She gawked at his face, on his unexpected arrival and wished that they could be strangers once again. Fall in love, once again.
Entering her reality, Suman picked her shawl and crumpled her feet inside her slippers, to subside the feeling of dissolving. 'Let me..' she initiated the action of leaving until Shravan stopped her. 'Stay.' he said, his voice a mixture of autumn and spring. His words fell on her like petals. Without a question she adjusted back in her seat, trying to feel the breeze and not listen to her thumping heart.
Can he read me?
Shravan looked ahead still noticing the anxiety which had taken over Suman. As if she was stealing something as if she was doing something wrong. And even then, she looked tired and worn out. Friction drains energy. So he decided to initiate a pep talk.
'How's it going?' Shravan asked, looking anywhere but at her. It felt extremely awkward to ask somebody who was filing a case at your father, in the middle of the night, that how it was going. Awful.
Suman, pranced, licked her lips, and tucked her hair behind her ear. As if discarding the question, she put forward another conversation. 'I hope Bunty has told you, already.' she coughed.
'What?' Shravan darted his head in her direction. What more surprises awaited him?
Suman frowned at him, tying her eyebrows together. 'You, don't know? You seriously don't?' Suman asked again, to which Shravan replied in a negative. He shook his head still hysterical.
Suman huffed and continued 'Kanchan is coming tomorrow.' she announced.
'And how does that relate? Don't you think that you should talk about Bunty first?' Shravan raised his hands in confusion.
'That is the same thing.' Suman made a point and rolled her eyes.
'How come, Captain Tiwari? I mean- just- look at you, you seem to create puz..'
'Kancha and Bunty are getting married.'
'create a puzzle in the air as if, Wait, WAIIIITTTT!! WHAT?' Shravan's eyes popped out of nowhere.
'Kancha and Bunty are getting married.' Suman again repeated a tone that reflected the slight grin on her face.
'What the F'in hell?' Shravan's voice screeched the sky.
'SHhshshs....' Suman mellowed him down, and he imitated. 'Veer's sleeping. the whole Bhopal is!' Suman stood and walked forward. 'You told me Bunty was your friend? bro? Like, hmm, seriously?' Suman teased Shravan and couldn't help but pull his cheeks. But, she won't.
'Oh, com'on. I was on a mission, field duty. Okay, or he would have called me.' Shravan tried to play it all cool when he was muttering every curse to Bunty's quietness and seclusion over the matter.
'Agreed Captain.' Suman zipped her lips, grim and red. She could barely hold the facade for 2 minutes, before giving in to a hearty laugh enough to wake up the entire Bhopal.
Shravan looked at her watery eyes, pearl white teeth which jeweled across her lips resembling rose petals. She was a landscape for him, her each feature was the burning reality of this universe. For him, she was the only one he could keep and remember in his mind in her sheer absence. The silver lining of her jaw, the twinkle of her eyes- everything! everything was deeply engraved in his heart. Maybe, more than a victim he was her patient.
Suman could feel her gut explode. She stopped laughing, as soon as she had started. It felt like stones pitting inside her heart, and then finally hitting her tear glands. They spilled like crazy and the shame was it all happened in front of Shravan, who was standing mesmerized the previous second and shocked the other. Her nose had turned red, her cheeks scarlet and she still basked the apology of spiling it all open, that now, there was no way back.
Shravan didn't ask but just took her hand in his. 'Tell me. It's all safe with me.' he ascertained that her secrets shall be his. He didn't know why he said that but it just felt the right thing to declare. He didn't know why he would tell all that to a woman who was fighting a case against his father. Maybe because she was the only woman he had loved.
Suman looked at the earnest look in his eyes. She felt guilty and dirty. Why had she pushed him away? Why she had to lose so many years of togetherness? Heck! Why didn't he come around? He had loved her, he should have been there- even if she was bad, foul and what not. And then somewhere she knew, that she would have ruined him, that it was better for him to leave this self-loathing burden of flesh and blood which they called Suman Tiwari.
Even with a tornado of thoughts creating a disaster inside her, she let go of his hand. 'Where were you when I wanted to talk to you? You think' she gasped for air 'You think, that whatever happened to you was the end of our universe, Shravan? Where were you when... when I was alive?' She grabbed her mouth, looking hysterically at him and then at her words. Shravan gulped harder at the intensity of her speech, the cracking of her throat- the darkness of the reality.
Before he could have stopped her, she left the spot, trying to hold herself together. While leaving, she had unknowingly left the shawl at her place, the king and queen embroidered, on the far ends- he realized.
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abbey yaar!!
each time you update a new chapter, it makes me feel- "issey better yeh bandi aur nahi likh sakti!" and boom! you drop a new chapter & saare expectations kay upar century maarke, you give us a new masterpiece 👏👏
i can only say... bas keep on writing behen. tere aur baaki writers kay OS's & FFs hi sahara hain iss Fandom ka.
Awesome update dear
Beautifully written
Plz try to mention the pg no whenever u update
Awesome update dear
Beautifully written
Plz try to mention the pg no whenever u update
Originally posted by: SuVan_EDKV2
abbey yaar!!
each time you update a new chapter, it makes me feel- "issey better yeh bandi aur nahi likh sakti!" and boom! you drop a new chapter & saare expectations kay upar century maarke, you give us a new masterpiece 👏👏
i can only say... bas keep on writing behen. tere aur baaki writers kay OS's & FFs hi sahara hain iss Fandom ka.
Chapter 4
Shravan stood deserted at the same spot for who knows what minutes. It looked the most natural and unnatural thing to do at that moment. Natural, because he had no business with Suman, practically. Unnatural because she had left crying, maybe, because of him, theoretically. He huffed and ran his hands over his face. 'Why me?' he muttered thinking about the broken resolve of not troubling her much. He could have asked her, what was she doing here on the lawn in the middle of the night? Or asked her how her day went? Or maybe could have cracked a mild joke or two about Kanchan and Bunty getting married?
But when he stressed on his latest memory, he found himself just concerned about her tears. He could have left and then they both would have avoided any embarrassment. But what he had done just turned oceans of certainty into a waterfall of confusion.
When he walked inside, holding up to her abandoned shawl, the clock showed 2:30(A.M). Holy Cow! okay, okay. He thought of walking up and checking up on her and then pass on her shawl. However, when he thought of the idea, the scent of the woolen cloth made his senses cheat for a moment. The shawl carried her scent, the warmth she had accumulated in it from constant wearing. As odd it might seem to anybody, it felt like he was carrying her with him. Fighting his bizarre thoughts, and of course, wanting to execute his course of action, Shravan climbed up the stairs to her room.
The door was shut but not closed. He had walked up the same passage so many times, in the day and in the night, but had never noticed, what was engraved on Suman's bedroom door. It felt like she had done it years and years ago, as a kid. It was a blur of the unfinished letters, the enthusiasm for writing something which shall define your room and alert the visitors.
------------------------------------Be loved-------------------------------
He rubbed his fingers on the depression of the words engraved on the wood. There was a slight gap between them, making the message unclear. Was she trying to say "Be Loved" or "Beloved"? Shravan felt a minuscule strike in his stomach. It could have been the fault of imperfection on her part, or maybe it was her destiny she had pre-announced. Now, the words fit perfectly on the lines of her fate or maybe his too. They were asking, continuously, to be loved!
After feeling all the more different he pushed the door ajar and filtered himself into her room. Suddenly her oceanic smell attacked his senses and the shawl in his hand felt instantly home. He was home too. Only, if he acknowledged.
He saw Suman sleeping, snoring a bit. Her chest fell and raised in a periodic rhythm. She smelled of toil and anxiety, and he could bet that snoring wasn't an old habit to her. She has developed it over the past 7years. He went ahead, to deposit the shawl in one of her chairs. Her table was full of art pieces, chewing gums (she was in love with them, but then he guessed that she ate it whenever it was difficult for her to speak and not cry). He scrutinized the table more and saw pills sprawled. They were enclosed in a bottle, uncharacteristic of any antibiotic. He grabbed it and read the label - Sleeping pills. Shravan looked back at her sleeping figure the very another instant. It felt like he had broken a wall and cracked a secret. He had a sudden urge of running away, that if he would look too closely at her room- it will snap something inside him, which shall make him change his mind. But when he thought of doing it he found himself already in the middle of all these awful revelations that he could no longer step back. He remembered a play he had read in class 8. Macbeth. He couldn't go back when he was already in the middle, soaked in the blood of realization and truth. Bitter truth.
Next, he found a diary. Concealed. He panicked. He was not the "Investigative or Intruding" type. He has always known to give space to his friends, to the people he liked. And with enemies, he had no business. But Suman almost fell in none of the above categories. She was administered in a special category he couldn't name. She was different for him. Before he could go for it, he saw a lock. Okay, what did he expect more out of a personal diary? He felt a commotion and froze at his spot. A slight groan escaped from Suman's sleeping figure. He turned around and saw that her comforter was no more comforting her. She had shoved it away under influence of unconsciousness.
Shravan sighed relief and then came forward to pull her blanket over her. In the process of doing so, he could see her face- eyes closed and mouth a slight apart shining in the moonlight. It was a wonder for his eyes. How much ever he had wanted to hate her, he couldn't. This made his stomach give an uncharacteristic lurch. Not of fear, but of the raging emotions to touch her face. To feel her under his touch. She looked soft, supple, and still very tired. This irked him, what if she vanishes? She was faint, mostly under the influence of those bloody pills. Why was she doing it to herself? Didn't she know how much he had loved her? Didn't she know that with all this over once and for all they could have begun afresh? As silly it might sound, he was crazy and she knew it. He was crazy for her. The day she had called him numerous times, his father was crying. And something so bad snapped at him, that he changed his sim, switched his phone off. Even while doing so, his hands had shivered and eyes had watered. He had to cut his soul and teach himself that she was nothing to him, that he was nothing to her. Still, her memories had haunted him endlessly.
As he got up to get back to her diary and find a solution, he saw her ankles. And then as she stirred further in her sleep, a part of her satin lower was scratched up to reveal her lower leg a bit. She stilled in her sleep and he froze at his spot. It felt that he might ice up on another shock. There were cut marks at different stages of healing. One of those was so new that the skin antiseptic- which she had bought with him a few hours ago, was still drying up on her skin. The older cuts were chocolate brown and clotted, the new ones were angry and jaggery red. There were so many of them. He wanted to touch them to know they were real and he wasn't dreaming. He gulped harder, counted them on his fingers, and finally touched them a bit. She flinched in her sleep, but the medicine was keeping her still in influence.
Shravan felt as if he was stabbed and twisted. This wasn't normal. Suman was cutting herself, and then even healing it, to cut it again. The regime of her pain gave him shivers of shock and remorse. 'Damn! SUMO!' he felt his throat go heavy. Instantly he was all gloomy and tired. it felt like his feet were tied to stones, that he was going to puke all over, that he wanted to make her get up and ask what the hell she thought she was doing?
He got up, all aged and pained. He looked back at her diary, locked- concealed, looking like a bloody death wish. He couldn't gather the courage to search for a key, open it, and then read what horrible things she thought and wrote about each day. If that was going to drown him even more, so much more that he would stop breathing. He had thought of searching for her razors, cutters, and dumping them in some alternate universe. But he won't do that now, he won't let her know that he knew she was cutting herself. So tired for the day, he decided to leave. But then he had another idea, he took the shawl. She shouldn't know he was here and of course, he wanted to take it for the night.
He would clutch it, sleep with it. He was taking a part of her now and he would take the whole of her, soon.
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How was that?
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