Hey, sorry if am hurting your feelings with my nosiness but I really liked reading this fanfic. I have never done any correction to anyone's fiction and this is the first time I am doing this cause you have written well except some major mistakes with 'him/her/his'. Hence, I couldn't resist amending these mistakes as well as some grammar because it was really throwing me off the grid while trying to read and imaging the scenes with her/his. So, here are the changes I made with bold, italics and underlined. ps. it's much easier to understand it now if you read it below.
Chapter 1: The first time he saw her
The first time he laid eyes on her, he thought she was an angel. Her shy smile was so authentic and the look on her hair made her look like she had wings.
He wanted to approach her, but he knew he had a bad reputation, so he watched her from a distance for a long time, but she was like a magnet calling out to him. Then fate decided for him.
On this sunny day, he was playing a football game with his friends when his ball went towards her. He couldn't resist touching her hand, her skin was so soft that he refrained from taking it in his own hands. True to himself he gave her a kiss, she gave him an innocent smile, it made his heart beat a thousand miles an hour, but he preferred to leave.
It was difficult for him to resume his match, he made several mistakes before asking for a break.
He must have known who she was. He couldn't hold back.
****
Is Prani's Bestfriend a girl or a boy? (I m guessing its a girl so I am using 'her'?
She had heard about him, Reyansh Khurana, he was the most unfaithful boy at the university. She wasn't looking for a boyfriend, so she didn't mind ignoring him, but she had noticed that wherever she was, he was there.
Her best friend had told her what other girls said about him. She had reassured her that she wouldn't go near him, but today fate had contradicted her. Seeing him so closely made her heartbeat. She didn't dare to examine her feelings, but she wasn't so naive not to know that she liked his presence.
Days went by without her meeting him. She looked for him, but she had ended up thinking that he must be with another girl, so she decided that she shouldn't cling to the hope of seeing him.
****
Pranati Mishra, he had been repeating her name several times a day for a week. He had been fired for breaking a window, of course, he could have had his grandmother intervene, but it had allowed him to carry out his investigation. But one thing had shocked him in the meantime. He hadn't been near a single girl. He had focused on her and had forgotten all the others. He didn't know whether to worry or not.
He was just fascinated... Now that he had the information he needed, it was time for him to attack.
On Monday morning he had started looking for her everywhere, arriving at lunchtime, he was starting to get angry. Where was she? He had looked for her everywhere and now his curiosity was becoming anxiety.
Did anything happen to him while he was away?
Had another college boy had wooed her before him? He had warned that she was his, even though he wasn't yet sure what he was going to do.
Before the afternoon classes resumed, he set foot in a place he hadn't been once since he entered the university: the library!
He scanned around the library until his eyes finally fell upon her. He stayed for a few seconds to watch her absorbed in the reading of her book.
She turned the pages one after the other, she had to prepare her homework, he would have liked not to disturb her, but the day had put him on the net, patience was no longer his strong point...
He pushed a row of books in her direction and frightened her. She leapt a metre and dropped the book she was holding.
Pranati watched him for the first time in days and all his impatience and anxiety vanished.
But who was she to have such power over him?
He went around his row and joined her. Little by little, he moved towards her. He could see the attraction he had on her.
His body straightened up. She was squirming on the spot. She blushed. She tried to avert her eyes, but the next second she turned it back towards me.
When he stopped in front of her, he smiled at her.
It was pretentious of him, but he knew he had a charm that would turn any girl's head. He didn't yet know why, he wanted Pranati Mishra in his life, but for the time being, only his presence was enough for him.
- Hi, he said to her.
She blushes even more. Her whole face turned crimson red. He laughed softly and bent down to pick up the books he had thrown away. He thought that doing this harmless act would help her recover her faculties.
A few minutes later, she joined him and helped him tidy up. And took the book she was reading and held it tight against her chest.
He looked her straight in the eye and said.
- Reyansh Khurana.
She still didn't answer, he would have thought she was mute if he hadn't already heard her speak.
- Have you lost your voice or are you just refusing to talk to me? he asked him.
She shook her head gently before turning around to leave. This left him speechless. He would have been angry if he hadn't been so fascinated. He was going to let her go for today and tomorrow will be another day.
Pranati Mishra, you will be mine whether you like it or not, he thought.
****
She wanted to run, but she couldn't, her legs were shaking. She let herself fall in her seat and sighed.
He was back. She had finally heard that he had been sent because his group of friends had broken the glass in the dean's office. She was relieved for a minute and then she pulled herself together and said it was none of her business.
During her days she had noticed several changes with the boys in her class. Her partner in letter class had changed places with another girl saying that he did not feel comfortable working with her. The boys in the sports class looked away as soon as she walked by. At first, she really thought they were just being respectful, but her best friend wasn't treated the same.
Her friend had joked about the situation saying that maybe another boy had forbidden them to look at you, but she really took her words to heart, she really wanted to believe her.
How many times had she read this situation in a book? She had a dream that her Prince Charming would make sure that no one laid eyes on her. He wanted her just for himself and he would protect her from the world. But now that she has seen the one who made sure that no boy in college bothered her, she doesn't know whether she should be happy or worried.
What did she want from him ? she wondered.
Two days went by and she noticed that Rey was never far from her field of vision. Her friends started teasing her despite the fact, but at the same time warned her about him.
Her best friend was the only one who didn't like this situation. She had told her how the girl had had a breakdown after Rey broke up with her.
Pranati told her that it was only noises in the corridor maybe he has changed. But even to her ears, her excuses seemed weak.
She saw how the girls would stick to him when he walked into a room.
Yesterday, one had shouted her love in front of several classes and even asked him to marry her. He looked her in the eyes as he answered the girl. Her heart started beating fast, she couldn't turn away, but she still didn't dare to take a step towards him. She was sure he would eventually tire.
Their play lasted a whole month before the same scene was repeated in the library.
This time she couldn't escape, he pinned her between his arms against the shelf and looked her straight in the eye.
- I know that you are not mute, so I thought I would give you time to get used to my presence and that you will come on your own. A month has passed and still no sign from you.
He looked at her his eyes said even more things. Their proximity made her feel uncomfortable, but her body didn't feel any danger. So she decided it was time to break the silence.
- I think you have a choice of all the girls chasing you.
He laughs softly before releasing her.
- Except that, I'm not interested in it.
- And I am not interested in you.
- Can I ask why? asked Rey in surprise.
- I don't want to be heartbroken.
- Ah, I see. Did you hear my reputation?
- If that's how you can be called your prize list, replied Pranati.
- I'm not going to lie, I'm not a one-woman man. But since I saw you, I don't see their faces anymore. Does that mean something to you?
Pranati took off the shelf and sighed. She didn't want him to run after her because she was playing hard to get. Pranati knew the game and she was smart enough not to let him win.
- We can be friends if you want, she suggested.
She held out her hand to him.
Pranati thought he was going to reject his proposal, but he quickly put his hand in hers and squeezed it.
- Pranati Mishra suits me perfectly. Let's be friends!
She didn't ask him how he knew her surname, she had the distinct impression that he knew a lot about her.
- So we are friends from now on Rey Khurana, only friends!
- Just a friend, he said.
He winked at her and walked away. Pranati followed him with her eyes until he disappeared and let herself slide to the ground. Protecting her heart was more important than satisfying it, her mind said over and over again. And that was the resolution she kept for months as their friendship evolved.
comment:
p_commentcount