So, a dark girl has to be a doormat to be accepted?

Hey guys!

Ever since I have started watching this show, I have constantly been disappointed by the cliched and dated treatment of discrimination against dark skin in our society. Some of my pet peeves-

1. Purnima's characterisation: Sorry to say, but she is quite annoying. Poulomi does a great job but it's the writing that is the problem. Bending over backwards for toxic people and their demands is not being a 'good person' but being an enabler. Purnima accommodating all of Beena and Shanaya's tantrums sets the wrong example. It makes Purnima a participant in their evil deeds. She never defends herself . How can she love those who have never been halfway decent to her? She comes off as someone who lacks self-respect and is a total doormat. For once, I would like to see a dark-skinned girl who doesn't take people's shit. Purnima is a rehash of Saloni from Saat Phere. 

2. Seerat vs Surat: I agree with the sentiment but they portray Purnima to be some kind of ogre when she is really pretty. Are they saying every dark person is always 'ugly'? Every time something happens, Papaji will give her some spiel on dil saaf hai yada yada. I get that they're trying to say external appearances shouldn't matter but I am tired of them implying Purnima is ugly and that nobody could ever be attracted to her. They did this in the show Suhani Si Ek Ladki on Star Plus too. The implication was that the male lead could never find her beautiful and he only loved her for her 'nek dil'. What if a dark-skinned girl is a bit of a brat or is not a doormat? Do these girls not deserve love? Being a doormat seems to be the tax you pay for being dark.

3. Beena and Shanaya: Absolutely irredeemable. They have written them to be morally bankrupt and I don't see any redemption for them. They didn't melt when Purnima saved Beena's life or when she regularly sacrifices her self-esteem at the altar of her Shanu's happiness. How can they ever see the goodness in her? Purnima has done everything possible and they don't seem to appreciate her. Ideally, she should leave them behind and find people who love her. Papaji and Beeji are entirely useless because despite their tears after Purnima is humiliated, they can never get BeeNaya to change their behaviour. 

I do like Kartik's characterisation and Kartik-Purnima's bond. It's a slow burn romance and it's a healthy dynamic so far. They have chemistry. For their sake, I will hold on to the unrealistic hope that things will get better.

What say?

Great post! 

I keep skipping most scenes now as it’s damn irritating watching her be tortured either verbally, mentally or physically. Even when her father wants to take a stand for her, Purnima wants to defend her useless sister and step mother. 

The show is hellbent on promoting the message of: dark skinned girls are doormats and ugly! Utterly ridiculous! 

Only saving grace in the show are Karthik and Purmina’s scenes.

but sadly even Karthik is being portrayed as a doormat! Shanaya has told him she wants him and yet instead of having told his brother the truth, he went to their house for his brother’s hand! Gwaaadd!

The makers better get a grip or I doubt the show will last with the constant negativity! 

Originally posted by: _innocent_

Great post! 

I keep skipping most scenes now as it’s damn irritating watching her be tortured either verbally, mentally or physically. Even when her father wants to take a stand for her, Purnima wants to defend her useless sister and step mother. 

The show is hellbent on promoting the message of: dark skinned girls are doormats and ugly! Utterly ridiculous! 

Only saving grace in the show are Karthik and Purmina’s scenes.

but sadly even Karthik is being portrayed as a doormat! Shanaya has told him she wants him and yet instead of having told his brother the truth, he went to their house for his brother’s hand! Gwaaadd!

The makers better get a grip or I doubt the show will last with the constant negativity! 

Thanks 🤗 and yes, it's extremely annoying. 

They need to cut out their abusive comments or have Purnima react. If not reacting to injustice makes one a good person, then I don't want to be one. Her sister and mother are irredeemable and Purnima should fight back. This bechari drill is killing it for me. 

ITV wouldn't run if they didn't have these ridiculous blind spots like Purnima and her family thinking Sumreet's drama is his 'pyaar' for Shanaya and he is such an achcha ladka. Like WTF bro. That's blackmail. Somehow, Kuldeep says he wants to safeguard Purnima's self-respect but then agrees with Soni's demands. 

Kartik suddenly thinks Shanaya loves Sumreet and wants a fairytale for them. Even 5-year-olds are not so stupid. I think Kartik-Purnima will fall in love and want to marry but then Soni will blackmail Kartik emotionally and he will agree to marry someone else. Cue separation torture. Then some miracle will happen with Kuldeep becoming very sick and asking Kartik to marry Purnima, leading to a shotgun wedding. Soni will lose her shit. 

This is why I can’t watch the show ...I gave it a go for a few episodes but it’s absolute torture to watch this show ..I feel more tortured than Purnima when watching the show

Soni Mehra is a racist and they r trying to justify it with childhood drama ...and the writers are so fuked in the head to make her say she doesn’t like black skinned people 

I wanted Purnima to be fiery and give it back to her stepmom and half sister but instead she talks like some 5 year old with her paahhpaa Ji maahhmmi ji ...ugh 

I get updates from my mom here n there but won’t watch the show ...can’t support nonsense 

If your looking for a good show watch Meri Dad Ki Dulhan ...light hearted and hilarious 

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

This is why I can’t watch the show ...I gave it a go for a few episodes but it’s absolute torture to watch this show ..I feel more tortured than Purnima when watching the show

Soni Mehra is a racist and they r trying to justify it with childhood drama ...and the writers are so fuked in the head to make her say she doesn’t like black skinned people 

I wanted Purnima to be fiery and give it back to her stepmom and half sister but instead she talks like some 5 year old with her paahhpaa Ji maahhmmi ji ...ugh 

I get updates from my mom here n there but won’t watch the show ...can’t support nonsense 

If your looking for a good show watch Meri Dad Ki Dulhan ...light hearted and hilarious 

@bold- 😆 Brutal but true. Even in today's episode, her reaction to that kirana store uncle's advice was stupid. She is not being positive but being wilfully ignorant. When will she stand up for herself? 

Soni Mehra- So true. How did she anyway make it through life with her hatred of dark-skinned people in a brown country like India? Childhood trauma is no excuse for hating all dark-skinned people. That angle is just a plot device to redeem her later by saying 'Poor Soni, it's her trauma which made her hate dark skin'. I can see Purnima comforting her. 
For once, I would like to see this issue being handled differently: A dark-skinned girl who fights back and has self-respect. They also make it very clear Kartik doesn't find Purnima attractive but has fallen for her 'seerat'. It's like saying 'She's ugly but nice' which somehow rubs me the wrong way despite the core message not being problematic. 

Mere Dad Ki Dulhan- Thank for the recommendation. Will definitely check it out now.