Originally posted by: Gameitror
I love Shehnaaz and have rooted her during BB. I have made some keen observations and would like to share these here, I would love people’s view on this.
When you watch Shehnaaz on screen , you relate to her, you laugh along her and you feel what she feels. She kind of has Shane Dawson-sy sort of connect ( American youtuber- I am hope I am not being overboard here ) and I want her to succeed, really see her flourish but what makes Shehnaaz different from others is that she chose love ,she chose to be a giver and most importantly, after all that she has been through, she chose to retain her true self and when she had all the reasons in the world to not do so.
I really hope she continues to do so in future. She could have been bitter, venomous, vengeful and hateful but she chose love. Many people refuse to see her for the way she is simply because they are unable to shed off their lens of privilege & superiority.
I also think Shehnaaz needs to work on herself at bit and can consider external help, I hope she does get it for herself , she has problematic coping mechanism, infact most people struggle with this.
In attempt to understand her, I feel lot of her responses seem to be correspond to that 4-5 year old child or a tendency towards regressive childhood behaviour ( psychoanalytical school of thought )- the need to be centre of attraction, narrate one’s stories sometimes disregarding the state the other person is ( due to lack of understanding) ( many instances throughout the season ), the strong need to talk about self and the need for appreciation. ( I have seen kids this age flat out ask clap for me, look at me only, don’t talk among yourself)- these responses are present as it is.
As Shehnaaz herself has discussed about her childhood in BB at length, it is clear she didn’t receive appropriate childhood care. There seems to be a pattern of regressive childhood behaviour apart from her basic personality which is extroverted. However, it’s worth noting that she understands social dynamics well, she can easily distinguish between people who are there for her for transactions or otherwise ( as she got the tag in BB that she is naive or any be easily manipulated) . I don’t think she’s naive or dull. The problem is not lack of understanding of people and their mal-intentions, the problem is she not weighing her emotions and thoughts worthy enough to be away from such people thus, fixation response of venting out or blurting out something as it is takes over.
Being multilingual is a massive challenge for her but it’s runs deeper than that, she’s isn’t as articulate or eloquent in general, and her words are used against her all the time.
There were ample example of her disregarding her herself in BB, but three examples that particularly stick out are during comedy task, after that conversation with Rashmi in washroom, where Rashmi told her to pursue her love outside, when she was sitting with Sidharth outside, she said “ main Khud hi over kar rahi hoon” and during the massive fight week, when she was sitting with Rashmi (again) in washroom, she said “insult feel ho rahi hai, pati nahi Kyun but ho rahi hai” , she almost choked, and when she had that conversation with Rashmi (AGAIN) where Rashmi said “ tujhe Sab reject kar dete hai, tere liye toh koi stand nahi leta” and she said “ inse mujhe konsa pyaar hai” something “teesra bhi bana leti” , that was such a cover-up. Someone else rubbing your fears right in your face is bound to hurt.
This venting is further reinforced (both positively & negatively) by SM before BB and now after. She says what she feels without any alteration and it’s endearing and refreshing but gets problematic when the effects of this spill over to the professional life. This is what happened with Himanshi controversy, (who btw, was a much established and experienced star).The situation was manipulated by some people and we know who and she ended up receiving lot of online hate and bullying. However, it’s the snub she received from the industry that took toll, ending up with little work and lots of bullies , this might have been the time where she went through depressive symptoms ( as she herself has stated), if not clinical depression. Shehnaaz also had a mini- fallout with a industry colleague and that person called her “jealous” in media. In both the controversies, this specific word was used and hence, the breakdown ( on BB, during that jealous task on BB) , the immediate need to withdraw from the situation was the defence mechanism ( this was seen when Himanshi entered ). People might think it was scripted, it was drama but it was a very real response.
If the creatives knew this and still went ahead with the task then it was very wrong for them to do so. People have called her dumb in weekend episodes but I see it more in anxiety taking over, more than just nervousness. Her constant laughing during serious conversations has a persistent pattern, it’s does seem like a response to anxiety at times.
Shehnaaz’s strength is her resilience, her ability to bounce back in the face of so many adverse circumstances, sadly, for her it started right from childhood. She might be rough around the edges, too raw but she’s extremely trainable and if will receive proper mentorship, she’s bound to succeed. The perseverance this girl has is beyond commendable.
She has been heavily criticised for dragging her family but she understands that most relationships are transactional in nature, but if familial is one then, that is ought to hurt anyone. I don’t think she is consciously bringing them down but rather just saying what she really feels. Being deprived of care and unconditional love early on and then be only appreciated after certain level of achievement is something that will run deep. She clearly loves her family.
I feel she doesn’t learn through preachings and passed on knowledge, she learns through personal experiences. Fans could keep preaching what to do, what not to, give her advices that she should be media-trained, work on her grasp of language, articulation, diction & develop other skills, but she’s bound to do what she wants, that’s her intrinsic nature, that is what makes her HER. She’s untameable, and unapologetically herself and that is what made us love her so much because it is truly a act of insane courage.
Note : This is in no way an attempt to hand out a diagnosis or unsolicited advice but rather just drawing an analogy to better understand Shehnaaz and her actions through the show ( BB ) and now. The term “regressive childhood behaviour” is not indicative of any classified mental or any other illness, infact these patterns are present in many, if not most individuals.
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