Raman cries himself to sleep, every single night.
Ishita breaks down because she’ll never, ever be a mother.
Jilted. For being inadequate. Both of them.
They’re connected by this right from the start. Rejection unites them even before they know it. Way before they realise it. It’s a tie that binds.
Their interactions are so charged in the initial phase of the show. Their eyes speak volumes. When Ishita can’t help but break down in front of Raman, he wants to comfort her, his eyes reflect the same pain she’s trying to hide in hers.
Again, Raman believes women are actors, masters of deception. But Ishita ‘s eyes hold the same anguish that exists within him too. Despite himself once again, he WANTS to pacify her. Where he sets out to add salt to her wounds, he ends up regretting it and walking away, while Ishita can break down in peace.
For Ishita, the world just doesn’t let her forget that she can’t conceive. She represents the woman of today, a successful career, balancing her home life with her professional life and living by her own standards and rules. BUT, her mother desperately wants her married, and at every corner she turns she’s met with the truth that this can’t happen.
I strongly believe Ishita is more emotionally mature than Raman. Raman has closed down, recoiled from the world. Ishita tries to make the best of the world she’s had to live in.
But Raman’s divorce and custody battle, and Ishita’s failure to adopt reinforce one thing. They’re both broken. And they both wear a mask for the world.
It’s true that Ishita is optimistic about life, even though she’s realistic about her situation. And Raman is cold, angry, distant.
But today, Ishita’s optimism was defeated. Helplessly breaking down in front of Raman, little did she know he was just crying himself.
When Raman for a split second considered placing his hand on ishita’s shoulder, when he saw her in utter anguish he couldn’t see her as a liar, pretender, manipulator. He saw his own turmoil. And he knew that to be true.
That they go onto find their true selves in each other, complete each other makes pure sense.
A couple that has spoken with their eyes just as much, if not more than words were drawn to each other right from the beginning.
Consistently throughout the show, Raman tries to suppress feelings, deny them. Feel them but right till the end avoid or protest against them. This is no different. For me, as a viewer that reads into every nuance, every movement these characters make, I think that Ishita began to make a place in Raman’s heart right from the start. He walks away BECAUSE he recognises what she’s feeling. His heart tells him right here she’s no Shagun, that her heart just wants to be loved too.
At this time, it’s just the start of the Ishra journey. Even at this point though, and though they’d never entertain it their connection is utterly palpable.
And hence the title of this post:
Of broken souls and soulmates
Note: Abercrombie and Fitch clad Raman today, spoke volumes with his eyes and this second viewing of the show and episode in particular.... it just hits HARD how amazing it was before the nonsense began!
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