Hanuman's hurt

If there's one thing that stayed with me from this episode, it was Hanuman's hurt....so very beautifully enacted by Anirudh👏

Since yesterday I've been thinking about expectations....the expectations that form when you love someone.....you start expecting some things without even realizing it.....Hanuman too was overcome by these expectations today.....expectations make you hope....and that makes you vulnerable as well. 

HS's emotions were so jumbled in that scene.....it built up from the humiliation of watching that CD, comments being passed comparing him to Ashok.....seeing Babita's state....all of it would hurt anyone.....yes, even a person otherwise as sorted as HS....he is but human at the end of the day....aur pehle kuch khone ko nahin tha......but now he's formed love and attachments again.....toh dukh bhi hota hai. 

He followed Babita into the room and hurt as he was, he tried to focus on her hurt, tried to give her strength to brush aside all this.....and then the hurt overcame him enough for him to wonder about his place in Mini's life. 

I think the moment the scene really kicked into high gear was when Mini walks into the room and instantly runs to console Babita.....since yesterday, there has been a sense of no one even thinking about HS's emotions in passing.....yes ofcourse the old memories would be a huge blow to Babita but even Mini never spared a thought for how HS would feel about it.....for some reason, in that scene, I felt a sense of hurt emanating from him over that neglect....and that is the hurt that manifested itself towards him asking Mini if she even wanted this wedding to happen.....I got this acute sense of HS feeling adrift in that moment.....his equation with Mini was his anchor.....rock solid for a long time except for that one spell in b/w.....Babita is the one that has been on shakier ground with him longer but he counted on Mini more....hence the expectations from Mini more......and somehow she let him down in this scene.....that is where his hurt was coming from.....he felt alone.....daughter was there for mother....and he couldn't help but wonder about his place.....if there even was a place for him.....and that is why he wondered if Mini could indeed hurt him. 

HS-Mini have clashed before also....they both have tempers, they are both stubborn....but what was different in the past was the stage their relationship was at......since the father declaration, they never really took the chance to know each other more.....they instantly fell into a pattern and made presumptions about each other......presumptions that got challenged today as HS saw a numb and confused Mini in this CD incident.....perhaps he was looking for assurance.....a definitive declaration from Mini....and it never came.....hence the hurt churning inside him......it really was the most heartbreaking part of the epi.....the way he asked Mini in that heartbroken voice to tell him what she really wants.....and Mini's hurt face in response......where there is immense love, there is such a capacity to hurt as well. 

As for Babita.....she managed to burst out with all her years of stored resentment, but what's the point....she's going to guilt trip about it all next day.....LOL.....although I liked the dialogue about how the Khuranas managed to twist her majboori into mahaanta and she started believing in her own mahaanta and the baggage of being ideal bahu. 

And maybe it's just me....but it pinched me that in the end, Mini was moving towards the Khuranas for a bit.....is it just that she's at a vulnerable stage now that she feels more of a pull towards her grandparents or is this how it's going to be? Whitewashing of the Khuranas ka behavior to keep the side drama going? The Mini who used to blast all the Khuranas for their selfishness and petty thinking is now all torn cuz Babita told them to buzz off? Ah well. 

Bechara HS.....shaadi waale day pe jaake hi, he got to listen to a full rehash of Babita's emotions throughout her marriage to Ashok.....her craving to go live with Ashok, her loneliness etc.....what timing.....lol 

Anyways, for now, I want to see how HS and Mini manage to bridge this chasm that's opened up between them.....Mini's tendency to try to "solve" things by just laughing away the tears is not the solution....and HS's hurt runs super deep....clearly they both need to open up to each other about their understanding and expectations of each other.....this family dynamic is very naazuk....it cannot run on presumptions and skewed equations....Babita-Mini cannot exist in a silo where HS is always an afterthought.....HS-Babita cannot run a marriage on the moods or whims of what Mini wants....LOL@ Babita trying to break off the wedding again today....kya bolun....anyways.....and HS-Mini need to have frank conversations about what being father-daughter actually means in this family. 

I felt  terrible terrible for HS. If i am feeling for someone in this mess it is him. Mini ka jhukao towards khurranas though is kinda natural in this situation as she is vulnerable but at the same time it pisses me off and i am afraid all these littler here little there wale taane are taking her more afar from HS. Like lovely aaj called him sautela baap and pit it in mini's head ke isi liye he is mad and abhi se showing sautelapan.😡 right now mini is just not thinking straight and yeh sab apne andar hi rakh rahi hai all these bits are making her drift away slowly slowly which isn't  good for them. I just didn't  find the same conviction in her telling lovely off ke humare ghar ki baat hai had it been for babes despite their androoni differences she gets so fierce and perhaps it is unfair to compare her fierceness  for babita and hanuman but i just felt it was soooo thanda and just dubiyadaari it didn't  came from the heart warna the mini we are aware of could fight all she wants with Hanuman uncle but she never gave this he isn't  apna feel and now that he is techinically becoming an apna too he felt so durr so ghair sa in between the maa beti and khurranas accusing him and convieniently going sautela hai

Forget mini i just felt babita ka sudden outburst and apni katha sunana was so mehh usko bhi apne pe baat aayi toh she thought of talking but did  not come in defence of hanuman that shutup who are you guys instead of giving him that saath and that affirmation that "they are in it together" she also made him so ghair as of he did some zabardasti to marry her she didn't  care for his emotions  either and that hurts. I mean she was trying to tell HS that mini didn't  and he is wrong in thinking that but not a word feom Hanuman's side usko samjhane ki bhi koshish nahi ki kisi ne bhi. Not a single soul instead ab self pity main dwelling kar rahe hain dono mother daughter. Ek ko ashok ke aaath sukhi jeevan ki padi hai doosre ko sautele pan ke taan khal rahe hain. What a shame*shakes  head*

Yeah though the reactions were  realistic to an extent i still got mad at mother daughter today haha

I just did  not like that badli nazar  that doubttfulness of mini towards hanuman at the end too after her fake smiles yeh mujhe bohat zyada khal raha hai. Just caz lovely blabbered some shit she took it seriously just like kammo ki bakwaas the other day and is now kind of forgetting every good thing hanuman did for her and babita and all the love and security and is looking at him differently 

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

 just didn't  find the same conviction in her telling lovely off ke humare ghar ki baat hai had it been for babes despite their androoni differences she gets so fierce and perhaps it is unfair to compare her fierceness  for babita and hanuman but i just felt it was soooo thanda and just dubiyadaari it didn't  came from the heart warna the mini we are aware of could fight all she wants with Hanuman uncle but she never gave this he isn't  apna feel and now that he is techinically becoming an apna too he felt so durr so ghair sa in between the maa beti and khurranas accusing him and convieniently going sautela hai

THIS....I don't know if it's unfair or writers deliberately did it to create drama but the way Mini just went NUMB and hardly spared a thought for HS in all this was deffo disappointing....and that is why I felt for HS the most in this mess too.....HIS loneliness came out the most tangibly in all this despite writers trying so hard to make only Mini the innocent victim in all this.....but sabse zyada akela toh HS pad gaya.....maa is still ready to cancel shaadi in a split second for beti and beti also only has eyes and ears for maa.....toh ismein kyun nahin lagega HS ko ki kahin woh sach mein beech mein toh nahin aa gaya? And that thought only just cut him DEEP in this scene, man.....you could just see the pain in his eyes. 

Forget mini i just felt babita ka sudden outburst and apni katha sunana was so mehh usko bhi apne pe baat aayi toh she thought of talking but did  not come in defence of hanuman that shutup who are you guys instead of giving him that saath and that affirmation that "they are in it together" she also made him so ghair as of he did some zabardasti to marry her she didn't  care for his emotions  either and that hurts. I mean she was trying to tell HS that mini didn't  and he is wrong in thinking that but not a word feom Hanuman's side usko samjhane ki bhi koshish nahi ki kisi ne bhi. Not a single soul instead ab self pity main dwelling kar rahe hain dono mother daughter. Ek ko ashok ke aaath sukhi jeevan ki padi hai doosre ko sautele pan ke taan khal rahe hain. What a shame*shakes  head*

Exactly....sabne apna socha....kisi ne ek second ke liye bhi HS ki reaction ke baare mein nahin socha....not even a split second ki how would HE feel as the guy who's marrying Babita to now have to watch a video of her marriage to her previous husband and listen to taunts about being a stepdad.....kisi ne do second ke liye bhi nahin socha ki HS ko bhi bura lag sakta hai.....everyone got so busy in only focusing on Babita or Mini.....

Babita ka toh waise aisa hi hai....she bursts out without thinking of timing....kaafi bhara padaa hota hai andar aur volcano ban ke phat ta hai.....but yeah, I just felt even worse for HS when she started in detail narrating all her feelings of loneliness and craving for Ashok in all those years.....these are all the things they needed to talk about before getting into shaadi....but jaldbaazi mein ab yeh sab galat time pe nikal raha hai. 

I just did  not like that badli nazar  that doubttfulness of mini towards hanuman at the end too after her fake smiles yeh mujhe bohat zyada khal raha hai. Just caz lovely blabbered some shit she took it seriously just like kammo ki bakwaas the other day and is now kind of forgetting every good thing hanuman did for her and babita and all the love and security and is looking at him differently 

Mini ki nazar in the end just looked confused to me.....like she couldn't understand how to process HS ki reaction.....she sees his hurt too but I think ab woh darr gayi hai after seeing just how delicate even HS's emotions are.....they will all be wary of each other now maybe....cuz they all thought ki sab ek dusre ko puri tarhaan samajhte hain.....lekin nahin....abhi bahut samajhna baaki hai.

I don't think she doubts his love for Babita....but she seemed hurt and confused about how he doubted her. 

Mujhe yeh baat kal se badi ironic lag rahi hai.....NB talking about how Mini ko abhi bahut chot khaana baaki hai....

Sabne default presumption kar liya ki Mini will be left behind as HS-Babita start a married life and supposedly be hurt over and over again at being isolated by HB....kisi ne yeh nahin socha that the Babita and Mini who still cling to each other the most can also likely leave HS behind and woh bhi chot khaa sakta hai, akela reh sakta hai. 

Sirf Mini ki chot build up ki jaa rahi hai but mujhe toh ab HS ke liye worse feel ho raha hai....neither mother or daughter spared a thought for him in all this until he expressed his hurt and even then, Babita immediately ofcourse sided with Mini and wanted to break the shaadi again......lol

Ab kal jaise taise shaadi ho toh jaayegi and senti visual bhi kar diya of Mini doing vidaayi of Babes but I still never really got a sense of Mini being left behind.....I got more of a sense of loneliness from HS despite marrying Babita. 

And based on today's scene, Babita will panic about trying to manage HS and Mini's hurt towards each other.....lol...the way she was fluttering b/w them ki aap aisa kyun soch rahe ho, kyun bol rahe ho......bhai mehendi/lehenga ke baare mein sochne ki bajaaye do baatein kar lete aapas mein toh pata chal jaata shaayad.....lol 

Basically Mini built a fantasy in her head like she's getting her two favorite dolls married....but ab reality is hitting that these are not two dolls but human beings with complex emotions and marriage can't be a fantasy....it has real issues to work through. 

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Sirf Mini ki chot build up ki jaa rahi hai but mujhe toh ab HS ke liye worse feel ho raha hai....neither mother or daughter spared a thought for him in all this until he expressed his hurt and even then, Babita immediately ofcourse sided with Mini and wanted to break the shaadi again......lol

Ab kal jaise taise shaadi ho toh jaayegi and senti visual bhi kar diya of Mini doing vidaayi of Babes but I still never really got a sense of Mini being left behind.....I got more of a sense of loneliness from HS despite marrying Babita.

For sure ! HS is like an afterthought right now  for maa beti as if babita is marrying a mannequin with no feelings/past. Babita ne apne dil ki bhadhaass toh nikaal di about  having a happy jeevan with ashok but not even once thought he actually had a jeevan woth imarti and this must be super difficult  and emotional moment for him too and uppar se aur hi kind of blamed him and not took a stand. I also don't  understand despite babita's constant idc etc etc why does she still crave for ashok's love or talk about his saath and what not. Technically they mever had any actial relationship/love/respect/trust they were strangers  only  who indulged in casual sex once every few years toh why does  dhe keeps thinking about it. Sapne sajane hain toh phir nati zindagi ke saja lo think positive about it care about HS ki feelings instead of dhamkaoooing every sec ke tod doongi tod doongi  jaise koi majboori ho and she is looking for an escape taake ashok ke paas chali jaaye jaldi se. I just am not understanding  babita ki tadap for ashok. Ek taraf kehte hai jo beet gaya woh past they don't  have any feelings  etc then she cries  over it too still even after coming so far away from that trap  and suffocated relationship.

P.s NO i don't  hate/dislike babita at all i am just confused avout her feelings and emotions. Her side is so unclear to me rn while HS ke liye bura lag raha hai double triple 

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

For sure ! HS is like an afterthought right now  for maa beti as if babita is marrying a mannequin with no feelings/past. Babita ne apne dil ki bhadhaass toh nikaal di about  having a happy jeevan with ashok but not even once thought he actually had a jeevan woth imarti and this must be super difficult  and emotional moment for him too and uppar se aur hi kind of blamed him and not took a stand. I also don't  understand despite babita's constant idc etc etc why does she still crave for ashok's love or talk about his saath and what not. Technically they mever had any actial relationship/love/respect/trust they were strangers  only  who indulged in casual sex once every few years toh why does  dhe keeps thinking about it. Sapne sajane hain toh phir nati zindagi ke saja lo think positive about it care about HS ki feelings instead of dhamkaoooing every sec ke tod doongi tod doongi  jaise koi majboori ho and she is looking for an escape taake ashok ke paas chali jaaye jaldi se. I just am not understanding  babita ki tadap for ashok. Ek taraf kehte hai jo beet gaya woh past they don't  have any feelings  etc then she cries  over it too still even after coming so far away from that trap  and suffocated relationship.

P.s NO i don't  hate/dislike babita at all i am just confused avout her feelings and emotions. Her side is so unclear to me rn while HS ke liye bura lag raha hai double triple 

Babita's case is that of a person consumed in repression....jisne puri zindagi ghut ghut ke jee ho and she's kinda trapped in her mind and memories from that time.....otherwise what person would spend 17 years just existing in a shaadi where the husband is barely present? Aise exist karne ke liye apne aap ko kuch toh hope dena padega na? So she spent all that time craving for the love of a guy who barely seemed interested in spending time with her.....that is how she validated her existence and tried to console herself through the suffocation she felt otherwise.  I wish I could say she's an isolated case....but there are many women like her.....who hinge their entire existence on craving validation and affection from a man even if they get crumbs. 

And obviously she doesn't want to go to Ashok NOW, man.....woh toh she was letting out itne saal ki bhadaas and thoughts that she didn't express properly jab time tha.....toh aaj nikal aaya sab pent up as she kinda relived the emotions she had repressed long back. 

It was still unfortunate timing though cuz bechara HS had to hear it all at this point.

And yes, overall, what brought the situation down further was that she or anyone else didn't even pause for a second to think about how HS would feel.....sab apne emotions mein dhass gaye. 

It's so ironic ki Babita ki shaadi hai, Babita ki shaadi hai bolte bolte sab actually sochne lag pade ki is shaadi mein EK hi insaan hai....Babita.....lol a marriage is between TWO people....the other guy is not just a mannequin....he too has emotions and baggage.....but everyone forgot that in making this only about Babita's second chance.....isn't this also HS's second chance? So shouldn't his emotions also be considered? 

@Fary: Hmm but you’ve made me think again. 

They actually showed Babita having consciously saved that CD in her closet. It wasn’t like Rakh ke bhool gayi, galti se kapdon ke saath aa gayi. No, she actively saved that CD all these months despite having burnt all other memories of her shaadi. 😕

She knew it was there all along. What was she intending to do with it? She claims she wanted to move on from old memories but she still saved a whole film of memories? Why? 😕

Now this makes me again wonder if they will bring Ashok back and again try to do some drama around Babita getting closure for all her years of craving for Ashok 🙄🙄....doesn’t seem like Babita is still ready to free herself from that. 

Again, you've mirrored my thoughts. HS was indeed feeling sidelined and perhaps the kabab mein haddi. 

I think the CVs have deliberately led up to the wedding with more focus on Babita, even in social media and promos. Mere Babes ki shaadi hai bolte bolte, Minnie bhi bhool gayi ke HS ki bhi shaadi hai. He let them do whatever they wanted with preparations, ceremonies, etc. but they forgot him in the process, the trappings of the wedding as discussed previously. 

I felt terrible for him, his hurt was clear in his eyes and he was not able to control his tears that day. I also wrote elsewhere that Minnie went to check on her mother but what about him? Doesn't he deserve care and attention? And yes, Babita defending Minnie and asking him to stop talking was not a good thing for him to hear at that moment. I know she was trying to stop him from going off on a tangent about something that wasn't Minnie's fault but she said that Minnie would never hurt her. What she failed to convey was that Minnie would never hurt him either, and he picked up on this line right away. 

Not only his self-respect but also his love for mother-daughter was insulted by the CD incident. It wasn't Minnie's fault but her words and the video itself overlapped in a way that it triggered his insecurities and now I think he will doubt himself or the fact that he can even be her father. 

I felt so so bad for him when he berated himself for being 'bawla' enough to think he could be her father, just like he had berated his bawla mann for falling for Babita. 

Even though it was painful to watch, I think it was important for both Babita and Minnie to hear him speak of his insecurities regarding his place in their lives and the fact that he was hurt to even think that after all he had done for them he had perhaps failed to convince Minnie that he never wanted to come between them or distance mother-daughter from each other. The way he kept asking her to say what she wanted, as if he wanted her to spill out the truth about not wanting him in their lives, awww. I felt his pain. 

Worse still, even on his wedding day, he was willing to cut off all ties with Babita if it was what would make Minnie happy, and in doing so he proved that wedding or not, he was even more of Minnie's father than he or anyone else could imagine. That last look on his face was not convincing as Minnie tried to do the countdown. He isn't getting over this so easily, poor guy, and I think only NB or Lala would understand his plight at this point. 

Originally posted by: AreYaar

@Fary: Hmm but you’ve made me think again. 

They actually showed Babita having consciously saved that CD in her closet. It wasn’t like Rakh ke bhool gayi, galti se kapdon ke saath aa gayi. No, she actively saved that CD all these months despite having burnt all other memories of her shaadi. 😕

She knew it was there all along. What was she intending to do with it? She claims she wanted to move on from old memories but she still saved a whole film of memories? Why? 😕

Now this makes me again wonder if they will bring Ashok back and again try to do some drama around Babita getting closure for all her years of craving for Ashok 🙄🙄....doesn’t seem like Babita is still ready to free herself from that. 

I wondered the same. She knew where it had been but why was it there in the first place instead of being destroyed along with her other thing that Meeta had brought over. 

At this point it might do everyone good for Ashok to be back so that they all get closure and move on.

I don't think Babita wants anything to do with Ashok anymore, or is craving for him or whatever 🤢. I think she has long let go any feeling, emotions attached with Ashok, the ticket to London episode was obviously indicative of that. 

Before lashing out on Khuranas, right after watching that wedding video, Babita literally says "Main bhool jana chahti thi ki meri shaadi hui thi", and says to HS, "Bhool jana chahti thi apse pehle Ashok meri zindagi mein tha". Here, she is putting HS above her past, that she is saying "I wish you were there the first in my life". 

One of the trigger points for Babita lashing out to Khuranas was because Lovely accused HS of being a typical 'stepfather'. She just couldn't take it after that. I felt she was a total wifey mode in that. Babita is as confused as Minnie as to why HS would think Minnie might have done that. She just wanted more clarity from him, which is why she said "aap ke man kya chal raha hai", before Lovely interrupted. 

She also says, "mujhe nafrat hai apni ateet se, mujhe mukt kardijiye". She's already gotten mukti from Ashok, now she wants mukti from Khuranas too. HS stood there with her like a rock holding her (total hubby mode). I don't think he was one bit upset that she talked of her past. In fact, I feel he was glad that she finally said everything that she was suppressing for so long, and let go of all those jabarjasti ke rishtey, and was starting fresh beginning with him. Of course, the whole thing made a sad atmosphere, but it had to happen. I don't think HS has any insecurity regarding Babita's past, or that she's still not over Ashok because she definitely is. 

P.S. I totally totally understand HS reacting the way he did. He's a human after all. Yes, it wasn't Minnie fault that the CD incident happened, and yes it wasn't right for HS to jump to conclusion that Minnie might have done that to hurt him, but I get why he reacted that way. He's hurt. He's insecure about his position in Minnie's life. I don't blame him at all for this.