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Posted: 4 years ago

A usual girl, caught under an unusual backdrop...starts searching for her perfect world...

"No one ever finds life worth living, one has to make it worth living."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

Priyanka Mirza, an ordinary looking young lady...un popularly known as Priya...probably in her late 30's, looks through the small aperture...something that she hasn't done since an era or so....to allow the 'Light' make a pave out...she has somehow caged herself...letting despair be her constant companion...she looks above the wide blue yonder...slightly lifting up the curtain...a concrete notion of fear blended with right amount of guilt grasps her mind...she immediately losses the blinds...and returns to her room....Her room? It would be a forceful claim though...she did not earn any space of her own here...in her own house....since her childhood, she was mocked at her yearn to have a separate room...and finally, she was given one after careful consideration...she somehow managed to enjoy her earned freedom negotiating the taunt thrown at her way every now and then...how could she make it clear to all, that it was not a separate room she was wishing for, she was just willing to have a space of her own....the most delicate disorder she had was her limited capacity of communication...she could never express a feeling as easily as easy it was....either she was different....she thought...or the people around her were different...whatever it was, there laid an un-match-able gap between her and her world...a gap not attempted to meet in an initial level, becomes an unparalleled bridge...she learnt to believe soon...what she had failed to discover at that young age was that, since both the parties were approaching the same destination, it had to clash someday!

"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

Struggling with her 'different set of belief', she was somehow managing to grow...but soon she realized that to grow and growing up had not necessarily to be the same thing...being a grown up, she was surrounded by a complete set of family anyone could ask for...maybe she had the family that would perfectly fit into the definition of "happy family", but as her mind was growing too, she soon cognized that her parents did not share the normal bond...or maybe there were lack of attributes that she believed to be normal to boast between a couple...her father was too much into himself that his mind refused to do anything to earn the bread and butter for their family...her mother was too much molded into the common set of faith that all ordinary women are trained to believe in....that the male partner is the God himself...so he was allowed to "miss" some takes.. but where her mother flawed (in Priya's perspective) was that she did not even complaint about her God...to her, her God was perfect! In that hallucination, her mother started to defend her father...both logically and illogically, in times of needs and in times of no need! Rendering help to those who do not need it is like offering whisky to the kids who are unlikely to enjoy it ...with the tag of being a great host! Under the impression of that "great host", her mother had created a bunch of loyal enemies in her inner family circle...who left no loyalty unturned to humiliate Priya's family...

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

One important thing that Priya could comprehend was that, whatever decision she would take as an individual, that would have an impact as a whole, on herself, her family, her universe! For instance, soon their "society" started praising her mother, for certainly not leaving the conviction on her male God, though she was prized with a flawed God! Priya could clearly see, crown is always guarded by the undeserving participants, and once you have the crown, the lust for that becomes so powerful that you continue leading the mislead! She knew, since the beginning, that the burden of a failure is too heavy to carry, since it was a failure of an old belief, that trust which says "there is a perfect world" ....and the path to that perfect world directs you to your home...when she looked around, she saw, there was another person who also was holding grudges within, he was nurturing a strong bitterness, for not been gifted with a perfect world, that everyone talked about! Priya wanted to go to him and tell him, that lets join hands and create a perfect world together, but he was in such a devastated state to hear anything, after all, he too inherited the same genes as Priya...her younger brother he was! It was in their blood, they personified nothingness, and they wanted to own a magic wand so that they could witness the perfect world without creating it! But there was one thing, that Priya was bestowed or accursed with, the ability so see, the ability to feel enough! And she could clearly see that, her younger sibling was going into astray! Though their problem was almost same, their actions and reactions to the problem vastly differed! Priya raised an assumption as all other youth, that the elder people tend to have solutions to all the difficulties of life, and with that conjecture, she appeared her elder siblings, presenting her views about their little brother....what they concluded was that it is not good for health to feel too much...to attempt to understand too deep! What Priya presumed was, her elder siblings had an amazing quality, they learnt what to grab and what not to...of a situation....they knew, if they wanted, they had the power to frame the wings they needed to fly...Priya amused, fanaticized, and almost escaped to her perfect world, assuming that her prior folks would lift her up with them into her dream world, but she missed to realize that no one can lift you up, until you attempt to lift yourself up!

"The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging"

The moment you rejoice, the other part of your universe remorse, to maintain the balance! When she was too lost in her dreamy world, her younger sibling was grieving due to an unknown misery, maybe he was too reluctant to appreciate the little goodness around him...he started to practice an imbalanced game, the blame game...in the lechery of winning the game, he did curse others for all the unwanted events that occurred, in the hankering of having everything ready-made, he even started to unwelcome the happiness that used to bless our lives occasionally! As legends rightly say, a blessing denied is a curse, and a curse welcomed is a contaminating disease, they welcomed curse into their lives, by ignoring an early detection and cure!


"By changing nothing, nothing changes."

It has been an eon, but Priya still remembers, in an ordinary usual day, how she was beaten up by her younger sibling, simply as she refused to prepare his research paper...he stated that he has "no other" intention than just making her realize that he couldn't take any NO as an answer while he was aggressively clutching her throat line! Alas! It breaks you within mentally....if you are harassed...verbally...physically! He might not have any "intention" to molest her, but people need to understand, sometimes, actions play bigger roles than intentions! The "normal people" of her family pressurized her to forgive and forget, but she was also a human! When people says NO to any physical response, people tend to respect that, but doesn't it apply to each and every choices around us? Can't we simply state NO to going to shopping, to a conversation, or simply to an offered company? Or we can express our choice only when it comes to make out? As the legends rightly say, justice delayed is justice denied! Soon, they all started living a life of silence, all were acting to be happy, they strives hard to contrive the psychotic demands thrown their way every now and then by the youngest member of the clan! Though they all were living under the same roof, they no longer identified with each other! They covered up with a false living to protect their own self from verbal and physical abuse from their psychotic heir, soon the path to the perfect world ceased to make a way to their house!

"You Don't Need Someone to Complete You"

Priya started confining herself, within four walls, with a never-ending negative energy floating around her house! Years after, she now has a balcony too...adjacent to her room...though her room was fully occupied with other's stuff, she had a window...a casement that could connect her to the outer world, but she refused to embrace it! She has formed a habit of escaping, escaping from the window of opportunity, from happiness, from any beautiful reality! The only silhouette against her self-made misery was a handful of books that she had...but soon, those too were finished! She started spending more time outside than she ever did! She started lying to her family about her whereabouts, to escape a time of her own...she visited as much restaurants as she could...in search of something new! One thing was common about all, no restaurants welcomed single visitants wholeheartedly! Everyone expects someone to be with you, loneliness conceals in disguise being someone's companion, an old tested formula!

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."

She starts being more conscious when she's around her known territory...as such, she walks all her way home...observing the roadside kids running around, seeing them unconditionally happy, Priya too flashes a happy smile, as soon as she realizes that she was reaching near her usual destination, a sudden feeling of woe owes her mind...she calls for an Auto...so that she can avoid the nasty siren thrown her way due to her weird choice of clothes, who would make them understand, a pair of outfit does not define you!


"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

On a usual day, after office, Priya thought to visit the newly opened Korean restaurant...though the food served was tasty, she did not want to return home being fully packed as it would raise many queries...she packs the remaining food taking along with her, she notices a street kid on the other side of the road, she casually inquires him if he wants to grab a packet of snacks, he attempts to reach her jumping over the walking pave, almost snatches the box from her and leaves dropping a jaw of awe! That particular snap captures her mind...leaving a direct impact of into her soul...that priceless smile...just for a random box of food? She always wanted to do something for these special kids...but for that, she needed to help herself out first!

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching."

In that quest, she reaches the nearby public library...soon, it becomes her daily routine....soon after office, she grabs the window seat in the reading zone...slowly, it rejuvenates her self-confidence...her inner peace...she learns to appreciate the little happiness of life...now, she doesn't blindly walk along the street, she sometimes smells the flower...watches over the bunch of free birds flying...she admires the newly discovered positivism around her ....

In one fine day, she receives an offer from a multinational, to join them in their headquarter located in San Francisco....something she has longed for....something she has always willed for....was finally coming true...but there was no sign of happiness within her...she was skeptical revealing this to her family....how funny it was....once again, she was stuck in that circle...she was putting her life's decisions in other people's hand...how ironic it was...people who always blamed her for not living her dreams...today, was remarking that she was pursuing a dream that did not suit her as it would cost more than usual... when she was so near reaching her goal!

Being devastated all over again, she did what she was good at, she runs away from the situation...nesting at the library on a public holiday, she starts ranting about life to the handful of readers present there!

Life is not worth living! She declares....striking the pages of the journal indifferently....

Maybe because you have never dared to live life? A voice from distant remarks....


'What you seek, is seeking you'

P.s. This is absolutely an OTT story! ;)

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." 

Excuse me? She turns around....

A paunchy man...nearly in his mid 40's...with a shining pair of eyes...smiles at her! No, wait! Maybe he was blessed with a genuine smiley face! She squints her eyes...with a querying approach....

Ma'am....you coffee is ready! The man standing in the cafeteria confirms her....

She gets up sluggishly to get the coffee mug...and comes back to her seat with the tray....

She looks through the wide Thai glass door...the realm seems to be waving at her from the opposite corner...

She takes a sip of the coffee...the tissue paper lying on the grey tray draws her attention...

"You are the sky, the clouds are what happens...what comes and goes around" inscribed in a neat handwriting...on above the white paper....

She glances back at the food counter...that man, still....tied up in his work...bows at her...pulling his cap down...she too smiles back...spontaneously!

She strides down the street....looks above the cloudy sky...her entire life flashes upon her mind....a family headed by an all-time careless unwaged master...the continual financial hardship... a leading lady of the household...being engrossed in a relentless appeal...to the almighty above...begging for a miracle...wishing for an overnight heart change of the MaleGod of the kin...a deranged psychopath young man cursing the mankind with his full fledged vindictiveness and the carefree ménage accepting the life as it is...with no interest in changing it! That 'pleasantly plump' guy was actually right, among-st all, did she ever try to make a choice? She wander along the road...the sky too seems moving along with her....

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."


Later, an Era:

Priyanka Mirza, lately in her 40's, an entrepreneur by chance, and a motivational speaker by choice...strolls down the thoroughfare....after craft fully touching millions of lives through her words...she is still in search of her perfect world....in that exploration, she has discovered herself! She still believes that the perfect world exists...right here...in this earth...she just need to identify with it! Each rhyme of her poetry inspired zillions of people following their dreams....urged them to create their own perfect world... after all, a perfect world is different to each one of us....and she is hopeful, that someday she would find her!

She too is living her dreams....pursuing a career of her choice....living each moment of her life on her own terms...she finally realized, legends rightly say "You are as you choose" ...somewhere, she still feels guilty...for the earlier days of her life...she was actually boarding a free ride...into the world created by others.... now she has a family too....and she has safeguard her family in all possible way: her parents and her sibling... all their needs got into her "first" priority lists...be it the materialistic requirements or the psychological yearning which demanded a little more affection than a mere attention... she visits her home country once in a year...for a month...she has now earned a room of her own too..back in India...at her parents' place...though she did not feel like changing her old small "Slim sized" bed....everyone in her family suggested her getting a new one...! Then, she registered...years back, she used to sleep in that same bed...but it did not raise any concern! Why? Maybe because, at that moment, she herself did not realize that she deserved better! Earlier, she did strive to help others whereas she herself needed her own assistance...she ignored the calling of her soul....she forgot that, in this universe, you need to earn everything on your own...love, affection, care, concern, respect...peace, free rides never proves to be sweeter!

What matters now that she listened to her heart...she tried to recognize her inner self...and that realization itself has provided all the solutions to her life! She learnt to stay happy on her own...than depending on others for her own happiness!

What hasn't changed is that her Father still accuses her Mother...for all his failure in this life...her Mother still chose to remain ignorant of the reality...her brother has got a long way to go to deal with his mental state...but, what has changed is, it no longer owns the power to clash into Priya's happiness! after all, it affects you only when you allow it to affect you!

In the subconscious corner of her mind, there is still a desire...for the unknown...for the unseen...for what it was? She was never convinced with the conventional approach of a relationship: watch it, like it, treasure it type formula, where people must choose to love within the boundary of caste, religion in between a certain age bracket! 

But her ageing parents remind her of a moral obligation....which she nurtured in her mind since quite a long time...but could not get the "appropriate chance" to materialize it! She always wanted to "do something" for the "senior generation" and for the "emerging youth" too! But how? She has been searching for the answer since an era now....but somehow failed to find it! Maybe she wasn't searching in depth...her conscious mind smirked! She owes a share of her success to the people who needed it...'owe' yes...she owes a share of her peace to someone else too....to that guy of that coffee counter...though she doesn't know the name of the man, his mysterious glee is still captured into her heart! In the past years, she has visited numerous countries, sometimes, for her work, or sometimes, simply to enrich her soul....every time she stepped into a new nation, there was a secret desire...inside her...maybe their path would cross someday...somewhere? But she was somewhere happy....traveling always fascinated her....and with the hope of finding that man, she could continue living her dream!


Though she wanted to travel to Switzerland this time, she had to visit her family first....so she clubbed her vacation with the India visit....she hated it! She already knew each part of her country, what she would find there? With that approach, she started her Journey to Himachal Pradesh!

"Some people cross your path and change your whole direction"

On her last day of visit

She did not want to strain herself on the last day....so she was just sitting beside the sea shore...enjoying the view! A group of little boys just passed along her....a moment later, a bunch of elderly people followed them...their spirit...their laughter...their zeal...there was something infectious about it! She too followed their footprint...that leaded her to a green villa....the name plate inscribed "serendipity"....in a familiar calligraphy! She stepped into the green valley...the aged people were indulged in some handicrafts...whereas the toddlers were observing them eye opened! What she could interpret from the scenario is that the aged ones enlighten the juniors while the younger ones serve as the organic source of zest! She felt a mirror of her soul was reflected into the place, a perfect world indeed where no one acted as rulers or survivors!

The interior and the surroundings were simply breathtaking....and various quoting on the white painted wall was just icing on the cake! She always wanted to create a perfect world...but why couldn't she? One of the lines on the wall catches her attention: The right moment to do the right thing is now.....the moment she was too engrossed into a deep admiration, she feels a light tap on her shoulder....

Ms. Mirza? She turns back...following the driving tone...that chubby man with that cute paunch was standing right in front of her!

After a moment of awestruck, she smiles at him...blinking her eyes leads....

How do you know my name?

You can know anything you want!

You haven't changed a bit nah?

People never change... they evolve...they explore...


And then, he looked into her eyes...he had his answer! She found her solace!


In the evening, they all sit around the fireplace...but what Priya observed that nobody talked to each other through words...they were either looking upon the sky...or gazing the ocean flowing....or even counting the stars...her wonder was showing on her face! Does it really happen in reality or is she dreaming? Well, reality is the occurrences of moment that we choose to create, no? She thought to herself! When you meet people with whom you can identify, you should keep meeting them...then she pondered into it deep, how? Well, that "how" would be good enough to stick around this 'perfect world'...she seriously needs to talk to that man....well, she needs to know his name first!

She found the guy...seated in a fence....all quiet! She too chose a place near him, and automatically, her energy diverted into "listen to your inner self" strategy.... she could suddenly view her parents only as parents....abolishing them from a platform of worship...she realized that they too had the rights to fail at their parts...she could forgive them...forgive themselves as a whole...forgive herself as an individual....

When you make peace with yourself, it is visible inside your heart, your soul! People who can read you through your soul, can be aware of your purpose too! The man sitting next to her might have read her heart...as he initiated a talk!

So, Ms. Mirza, would you please like to provide us your feedback about the experience here? He held out a small handmade notebook from his pocket...Priya wrote only comment: 'A perfect world'...

She gives him the note back, he looks back at the paper....and then says, the beauty lies in the eyes of the observer!

She offered her hand: I am Priya, Priyanka Mirza! You can call me Priya though!

He shakes the hand: Ram here!

Oh wow! She exclaims, don't tell me that you are The Ram Kapoor! Then she bursts out laughing at her own joke! His grey eyes twinkles...

"I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you"

Later the night, Priya strolls around the resort...it had its own vibe....the flower vase, the handkerchiefs...the bed sheet...everything were hand woven! The best part about the green valley was there was no vibe of favor: "I am doing this FOR YOU" kind! This was neither an "old age home" nor "an orphanage" ....people from various background, came to that place to get colored into one color: serendipity! People came there....to weave out their dreams....whatever shape it takes, a pot, a bag or even a doll, everything goes into the exhibition area without any price tag, the tourists purchase the handicrafts and in return, they contribute as much as they want....which is accumulated to arrange for an open meal each day! There is nothing as such "In need"...everyone is in "need" of something and you need to learn to receive graciously just as the way you know "how to give"....The explorer, be it the aged ones or the youth, or even the toddlers, come here to find their purpose! Maybe this was place for those, who knew that you are not born into a perfect world, if you desire for that, you need to create it!

Suddenly, she finds a light appearing from a trunk, and she follows that...which leads her to an open room...surprisingly; she discovers one of her favorite books lying there...she picks it up lazily...turns the pages around...at the end, there was a message from the writer, along with a picture of the writer!! She wonders, how come she missed this! Why did she always close the book as soon as the story ends, why she always fears of the ending? Why did it feel uneasy when you come finishing your favorite story? There is no end to any story, as end is where we start a new journey!

She concentrates on finding more about him: Ram Kapoor, the renowned writer of three self-help books, is actually an engineer by profession! One ending note from the Author catches her attention...he was repeatedly raped by his school van driver at the age of eight! She heaves out a deep sigh, we never look around...since we are always too stressed out to look into our difficulties! If we do look deep, then we would realize that we all are born with the same sort of attributes, all our problems are somewhat same, maybe we grab the same source to find happiness too, what makes us different from one another is our solutions to the problem that we come out with!

Suddenly, she finds Ram, the Ram Kapoor beside her....she gets a little startled...she takes a step forward...toward the shelve placed near...she inspects each object kept there, with curiosity...it heightens her interests, the moment she finds her all-time favorite bracelet lying in the center...the one she left at her reading zone, on that library...at least ten years back!! She grabs the glittery bangle, proceeds to confront Ram!

Ram was standing just two step away...she gazes around...there was no "door" in his room...it was all open! Anyone could flee...anyone could fly...anytime! Still, she did not want to leave the place! She felt as if she belonged there....no explanation she demanded as'magic shall never be explained'....

Both look into their own illustration...reflected into the wall mirror...searching for the answer within...inside their souls...a moment later, both take a step forward...Priya springs up steadily ...and captures his lips with hers...and shuts her eyes... sincerity of emotion needs no direction...she remembered the line...written by her 'favorite' author...she upraises a little pressing her toe on the ground...fondling his earlobe...lightly stroking her hands through his messy hair...brings him even closer....in-breathing his scent....he deepens the endearment...brushing her lip line with his jaw...while he indulges in caressing her frontal edge...she swings back...gripping his torso from the back...places light kisses on his neck...each time she smooched his nape, he shrinks a little more...she takes a moment to acknowledge the fear written upon his face.. she observes the beads of perspiration tickling down his forehead for a while...biting her lips.. a moment later, she upraises a little.. pushing her foot against the surface...to reach his brow...she lightly brushes her lips across his eyebrow...she then snogs his eyelashes ardently...

She takes him into an embrace dearly...even a moment earlier, he could feel his foot shaking...which now reestablishes on the floor... he too tightens his grip on her...permitting her to be adjoined...clutching her by the waistline... she clings near his chest...listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat ...allowing him the essential moments to soothe his mind...

She did not remember, for how long they remained in that moment, enfolded into his chest...maybe for a fraction of second or maybe for ever....it was then, when a drop of tears reached down her hairline...her mind resurfaced back into this earth...from the eternal world...she looks into his eyes...a tearful pair of eyes smiled at her...his soul seemed visibly lighter...he had a faint smile in the corner of his face...she too had a dormant glitter concealed within her eyes....

Following the twinkles, he trails her down the ground floor of the lodge...since her eyes was firm fixed on him....she did not realize when did she stretched down the long ribbon flowing around the end edge of the ceiling, as soon as she squeezes the tape, a white curtain appears down the rooftop...she saunters around....though the entire area was decorated beautifully, she soon realized that there was no tiles on the ground...that smell of the raw soil was sweeping her off the feet... The black and white backdrop was too peaceful to explicate...she wanders around the place...absorbing the simplicity...as she was rambling wonder-struck, she did not pay attention and slips upon the bean bed...Ram who was observing her silently from the corner, comes to the rescue....with a little difficulty, he crawled into the bed...inspecting the lower end of her toe...that she was clutching uncomfortably...seeing his sweaty face, she bursts out laughing....pinching him into his chubby tummy...soon, he too joins in the laughter....both rest down holding their hurting stomach...a tiny drop rolls down Priya's eyes...Ram intently wipes it off....she goes near him....nuzzling his nose with her's....suddenly, she notices a deep stain on his chest...which was visible inside the loose end of his shirt....she strokes her fingers thoroughly above the spot....though the scar seemed too old, the pain still seemed too fresh in his eyes....he turns his back toward her...hiding his face below the cushion and whines for a while...she just let him be...allowing him his time...

Quite a later, he turns back....he looks at her apprehensively...she goes near...inviting him in her closest grip...he too reciprocates...inclining his face in between her bosom...she tucks him underneath her breath...she nudged her elbow...to rise a little...to smooch his sweaty forehead...she caresses his face front with her nasal abut...he too follows the flow...nuzzling her throat line...he places little kisses across her neck...

After a while, she carefully unbuttons his sky blue outfit...caressing his unclad core with utmost care....he never felt as engulfed as now...seemed to regain the virginity all over again...a little later, she sways and creeps upon his undraped frame...and at that exact fraction of second, she entered into her perfect world, a paradise of passion, emotion, love, care and ALL! He encounters a clash between his mind and his heart...and finally his heart conquers his soul....he proceeds to feel her...absorb her...sense her...identify with her....unleashing his fear...his miseries....his sorrows...!

They lingered upon each other...intermixed into their own universe....feeling it...living it...treasuring it! They chilled in each other's grip...a 'sacred' freeze of tranquilly passed across them... magnetizing them to explore the 'perfect world' even more closely.....they remained entwined....embellishing in desire...effacing out all their past memories....surpassing over a craving for a 'future', they lived in the present....moistened in with a spiritual warmth...

Ram always perceived...the stimulus that caused pain, are the same spur present in pleasure too...it just differs in the nature of treatment....finally, he could let go the pain...embracing the pleasure...he could love himself all over again! Priya's mind visits back the "old myth"... In her religion, all believed in the supreme power, an unseen force....but, she presumed, she could sight...feel...encounter that principal connection....only if she ever experiences LOVE....in that split of second, she congregated all the spiritual force above... finally, she could reach the almighty....all her religious belief re-fused in that moment!


Edited by maliha.islam - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

The past may be a dark phase of Priyanka Mirza life but her present is full of light and happiness with Ram Kapoor besides her. 

It's the person perspective how they wanna see world take it as negative or be positive in everything. 

Posted: 4 years ago

Hey, keep making stories. This forum is so dead :(

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Leenaaa

Hey, keep making stories. This forum is so dead :(

What's the use if no one reads/likes/comment 😂😝

Edited by maliha.islam - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

Am Pretty sure ppl will have some day and read ur stories😳


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