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Is the other man/woman necessarily a 'bad person'?

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441597

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Posted: 7 years ago

I'm not specifically talking about the show here. Here the circumstances under which Kunal left Mauli for Nandini are unfathomable and unforgivable. Neither did MauNal marriage have any problems nor did Kunal have any reason to fall out of love here. For Nandini too, going for her best-friend-cum-savior's husband without a hint of remorse is unnatural.

But in real life, is the other man/woman necessarily a bad, un-empathetic person?

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

No. The other person may be quite nice.

But for the first woman, her family, her children, she will always come out to be selfish, bad & unforgivable by the simple excuse that she didn't refuse when she could & the fact that she lead on the affair when she could have turned down.

It's a universal phenomenon. Cheating is frowned everywhere & this one act is enough to discredit all other aspects of the other woman.

As they say, We are defined by our actions & decisions all the times.

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441597

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: arshi_asya
No. The other person may be quite nice.

But for the first woman, her family, her children, she will always come out to be selfish, bad & unforgivable by the simple excuse that she didn't refuse when she could & the fact that she lead on the affair when she could have turned down.

It's a universal phenomenon. Cheating is frowned everywhere & this one act is enough to discredit all other aspects of the other woman.

As they say, We are defined by our actions & decisions all the times.

I've engaged in debates on this issue, and a lot of opinions on the other side amount to "If the married spouse did not bother to be faithful then why should the other man/woman bother".

This made me think, if Nandini and Mauli were strangers, would N still be bashed as badly?

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Rinnks

@Rinnks

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

I've engaged in debates on this issue, and a lot of opinions on the other side amount to "If the married spouse did not bother to be faithful then why should the other man/woman bother".

This made me think, if Nandini and Mauli were strangers, would N still be bashed as badly?

Not so badly... Here Mauli had been her saviour literally.. and they way Nandini is not giving a second thought to Mauli is creating more n more bashings

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looseseal

@looseseal

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+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

Depends.

Its not necessarily so. For example many times the other man/ woman doesn't even know they are the other man/woman. There are many cases where a man or woman lie about being single in the beginning of an affair only to later reveal that they are in fact already in a committed relationship.

Sometimes you find love with a married person, and the person loves you back. If one sets rules that they will go further only if the married person comes clean to his/her partner, then the other man/woman isn't wrong. The married person is at fault here if he/she can't come clean to their partner.

But in the case if this show Nandini is very much at fault 100%. its not the case 50-50 between Kunal and Nandini. Kunal is terrible husband and Nandini is terrible friend. and they are both cheaters.

IRL we know love doesnt happen overnight and most of us aren't n love with two people at once. So, the responsibilty on the person who is in a committed relationship to know where he/she stand in their married life and come clean to their partners before moving on with someone else. In case the other man/woman is somehow related to the wife/husband of their lover, then the other man/woman must make an effort to come clean to the partner.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

I've engaged in debates on this issue, and a lot of opinions on the other side amount to "If the married spouse did not bother to be faithful then why should the other man/woman bother".

This made me think, if Nandini and Mauli were strangers, would N still be bashed as badly?

Honestly, Nandini would have been bashed even then. But not this extremely. It would have still been scandalous but the whole best-friend angle makes it all the more worst. The Best friend code is not just a code, it;s a mutual contract binding two people by heart. Besides, Mauli being Nandini's savior adds more to this extreme.

I mean in Charles-Diana-Camilla case. Camilla was still bashed but not more than Charles. And there are so many other cases as well.

Just like in Bepanaah, Pooja was still bashed but not like Zoya bashed Yash, while Adi blamed it more on Yash than Pooja.

As I said, the other man/woman will come out as a bad person for the spouse who has been cheated upon in most of the cases, since for them, their YES, made the whole difference. Even the cheating spouse would be thrashed.

Only time Nandini would have not been bashed if she didn't know that Kunal was married. Since that would make her completely innocent & a victim actually.

I never had issues with Nandini falling for Kunal, since the show was based on her falling. But the complete lack of conscience while having that affair left me appalled. A sensible person wouldn't behave in such a way, I think.

Edited by arshi_asya - 7 years ago

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441597

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Posted: 7 years ago

What if you find love with a married person? For example, what if you see that the person in question has a strained relationship with his/her spouse and you connect on an emotional and sexual level?

Would this not be a grey area?

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441597

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: arshi_asya

Honestly, Nandini would have been bashed even then. But not this extremely. It would have still been scandalous but the whole best-friend angle makes it all the more worst. The Best friend code is not just a code, it;s a mutual contract binding two people by heart. Besides, Mauli being Nandini's savior adds more to this extreme.

I mean in Charles-Diana-Camilla case. Camilla was still bashed but not more than Charles. And there are so many other cases as well.

Just like in Bepanaah, Pooja was still bashed but not like Zoya bashed Yash, while Adi blamed it more on Yash than Pooja.

As I said, the other man/woman will come out as a bad person for the spouse who has been cheated upon in most of the cases, since for them, their YES, made the whole difference. Even the cheating spouse would be thrashed.

Only time Nandini would have not been bashed if she didn't know that Kunal was married. Since that would make her completely innocent & a victim actually.

I never had issues with Nandini falling for Kunal, since the show was based on her falling. But the complete lack of conscience while having that affair left me appalled. A sensible person wouldn't behave in such a way, I think.

Like I said, Nandini is a basket case; everything about her behaviour is abnormal.

But in other incidents that involve more normal people, what would be the thing from the other person's perspective? Would it be natural for them to not feel any guilt since the married person 'was drawn to them on their own'? Like, "If he/she came to me on their own, then he/she doesn't care about their partner. Its their choice, I'm not forcing them".

Yes, for the cheated person it would mean devastation, but I'm talking about the perspective of the other man/woman.

Edited by krystal_watz - 7 years ago

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looseseal

@looseseal

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+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: krystal_watz
What if you find love with a married person? For example, what if you see that the person in question has a strained relationship with his/her spouse and you connect on an emotional and sexual level?
Would this not be a grey area?

It would very much be a grey area. Thats why when you decide to act on it you and the married person needs to come clean to the spouse. It'd still be heartbreaking but the spouse has the right to truth.

And if the other man/woman is even little invested in their lover, they'll ask the person to make a decision: lover or spouse. unless you are talking about one stand or temporary flings, noone is okay with being lifelong mistress (dont know what male equivalent of mistress is).

It could also be that the spouse somehow makes peace with the EMA but the decision to compromise must come from the spouse.

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Nausheen

@nozzy

Explorer

Posted: 7 years ago

#10

Cheating is a different thing. There are many situations where one is stuck in a loveless marriage and finds love or one is not compatible with the other spouse then falls for someone else. In these situations also the best thing is to first cut ties with your spouse then act on your feelings but still no-one can actually blame a person for cheating on the above situation.

But if you hurt someone for your happiness, I don't think any sensible and good hearted person can do that. I mean how can anyone be happy or even at peace after being the reason for someone else's tears.

So in this situation nandini and kunal or any person in similar situations as nandini and kunal are bad people (for me).