Can Father be a Mother For a Child? - Page 3

Neelam ji has been a source of inspiration to me right from the day I joined this forum.She is a source of inspiration for all of us.

I think all the people in debate mansion are really wonderful each being a source of inspiration to me.Elderly people in this forum like Jatayu Uncle,Abhijit Uncle,Tally Ho ji are source of inspiration.

Young people like Junior Abhijit,T.,Buffie,MNMS are source of inspiration.

Sorry for writing these things but .... this is what I really mean.

Coming back to the topic:

Basically I feel "Necessity is mother of invention",So if something is necessary we do it ,we can do it.There's nothing to worry much about this.Therefore,Role reversal of parents is part of necessity.

Cheers,

Mythili

 

Edited by mythili_Kiran - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: TallyHo

A child requires both his parents for his or her different needs...but in any unfortunate circumstances one parent can step into the shoes of the other..sometimes very effectively...sometimes not so effectively...

agree with you Tally Ho,

to add, if a mother can be a father at the same time (single parent) then why shouldn't be a father?

fatmah.

 

First of all, Neelam di You are extraordinarily brave 👏 ... I don't know what to say to you... but you are exceptional! I wish the best to you and your kids... May God bring happiness to all of you!

its hard for a man to step into the shoes of a mother... yes it CAN happen .. but it requires HUGE amount of dedication for his children. Mothers tend to be more emotionally attached to their kids. So if she has to do [though it is not easy for any of the gender], she has the capability for doing it as looking after the kids on domestic level, plus the outside work etc

When it comes to love, both have got different ways and emotional attachments towards the parents. My mom's mother passed at a very young age, and my mom was brought up by her grandparents.. Her grandmother was one of the most affectionate people she saw in this world, STILL she used to crave for her mother's love, like when her friends used to talk about their mothers...She never participated in that and usually came home .. crying in her granny lap!

Recently when my papa had the open-heart sugery.. My mom took the role of a dad too, in terms of love. Though i was handling all the outside matters.. but still whenever i felt lonely, stressed.. she comforted me like papa does.. and i felt the security in her hands.. i don't know if i am able to tell this properly.. but the kind of security and self-confidence a mother gives is INDISPENSABLE. You know when you are cracking up, the whole world isn't listening to you, things aren't working, you don't have papa to talk about the troubles...steps in the mother: "Don't worry, everything will be fine". Even my papa said this 5 years ago when my mom was being operated...but there is magic in her words... im telling you .. Mothers are still indispensable... It was TOOO GOOD to see papa alright and he came back to his role 😃 .. but my mom handled me very carefully and she saved me from going nuts! 😳

Sorry for going overboard.. but this topic just touched my heart 😳

[QUOTE=mythili_Kiran] Mother should behave like mother,Father should behave like father,role reversal does'nt have any beauty [/quote]

Like many of you said that having both parents is perfect and blessing for child. However, I don't agree that rold reversal does not have any beauty. It has more to do with stereo type roles we have been seeing since ages and decades adn centuries. Mom does baby's upbringing and dad goes out to earn bread. And that's whay mom is more affectionate and loving and caring. I think if child is staying with dad since birth and mom wears the pants in the house and go out as bread earner father can give same love and caring to a child. Like when my daughter gets hurt or is scared she runs and hug me 'coz I am there for her more than my hubby since she was born. When I saw my friends kid they wanted dady when they were hungry and when they needed someone to pacify.

Now Neelamdi you asked me a question can dad do the same? I don't want to generalize, but Indian dads are really poor in these things. Luckily my in-laws are pretty good in the matter, but i have heard stories from firends when they go back to India cannot ask their husband to change their babies diaper 'coz otherwise they would be taunted and scolded. So taking care of baby and raising is really far of qeustion for Indian male I think.

However, like sareg said if one wants to do it they can do it. They might have to try harder, but it's not impossible. Edited by sowmyaa - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: sareg

I had a line by line  response to NK'ji post which on second thought, felt might offend, so pulled it back😳

Ohhhhhhhh, thats so sweeeeeet, Sareg. Don't worry, by going through worse phase of my life, God made me so strong that nothing bothers me any more. Its just if my kids are deprived of something it hurts me because I cannot fulfill all their wishes; otherthan that I try to counsel the needy anyway I can.

Originally posted by: NKSUDHIR

Don't worry, by going through worse phase of my life, God made me so strong that nothing bothers me any more. Its just if my kids are deprived of something it hurts me because I cannot fulfill all their wishes; otherthan that I try to counsel the needy anyway I can.

I am sure times are tough for you.. its definitely not easy to fill the shoes of the other person as well as yours... but your efforts WILL never go waste.  Once the kids are older, they will appreciate you much more than they do now.  After all you are the parent and nobody can take that away from you.😊

 

Originally posted by: MNMS

First of all, Neelam di You are extraordinarily brave 👏 ... I don't know what to say to you... but you are exceptional! I wish the best to you and your kids... May God bring happiness to all of you!
Thanks a lot, MNMS.
its hard for a man to step into the shoes of a mother... yes it CAN happen .. but it requires HUGE amount of dedication for his children. Mothers tend to be more emotionally attached to their kids. So if she has to do [though it is not easy for any of the gender], she has the capability for doing it as looking after the kids on domestic level, plus the outside work etc

When it comes to love, both have got different ways and emotional attachments towards the parents. My mom's mother passed at a very young age, and my mom was brought up by her grandparents.. Her grandmother was one of the most affectionate people she saw in this world, STILL she used to crave for her mother's love, like when her friends used to talk about their mothers...She never participated in that and usually came home .. crying in her granny lap! Yesssssss, MNMS, my daughter always felt same way. She is so emotional, if kids or teachers talk about their dads, she will strat crying right there and so many times teahers feel bad for starting this topic.

Recently when my papa had the open-heart sugery.. My mom took the role of a dad too, in terms of love. Though i was handling all the outside matters.. but still whenever i felt lonely, stressed.. she comforted me like papa does.. and i felt the security in her hands.. i don't know if i am able to tell this properly.. but the kind of security and self-confidence a mother gives is INDISPENSABLE. You know when you are cracking up, the whole world isn't listening to you, things aren't working, you don't have papa to talk about the troubles...steps in the mother: "Don't worry, everything will be fine". Even my papa said this 5 years ago when my mom was being operated...but there is magic in her words... im telling you .. Mothers are still indispensable... It was TOOO GOOD to see papa alright and he came back to his role 😃 .. but my mom handled me very carefully and she saved me from going nuts! 😳 Yes, mothers are more capable of handling same situation better than fathers because I guess mothers can understand kids better than fathers.

Sorry for going overboard.. but this topic just touched my heart 😳

Originally posted by: vazz

I am sure times are tough for you.. its definitely not easy to fill the shoes of the other person as well as yours... but your efforts WILL never go waste.  Once the kids are older, they will appreciate you much more than they do now.  After all you are the parent and nobody can take that away from you.😊

 

You are right. Kids do appreciate a lot. My youger son is a leader kind of kid and he wants everything his way and when he gets what he wants, he tells me: Mom, I am your investment. Kids are really our future investments. More love and affection we give them, they will eventually give it back to us too when we need it the most.

 

Bumping... to make up for similar new topic ...

im not sure i think that if from a young age a child doesn't have his/her mother around and the father brings the child up then obviously they become a paternal and maternal figure in the childs life.