Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil
Sorry about your friend. How unfortunate..
Hope she moves on with life. If she cannot return to India, hope she finds her independence wherever she lives, and starts her life anew.As for mainland Indians marrying NRIs.. IDK, TBH, I have always felt any marriage is pure luck. What matters is that we should make ourselves economically secure/independent - no matter where we marry. If a girl is capable of economic independence, she can simply walk out of such fraud marriage, and can start her life afresh without having to depend on her parents or in-laws.
Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil
^^@lailaMai --- By saying marriage is pure luck, I was talking about my personal belief that marriage and finding a 'good partner' is all luck. Because, especially in cases of arranged marriages, you can never verify 100% that the man and the family you are marrying into is a good one.
arrange marriages of a NRI? are you serious!! the sound of that only sounds shady!!arrange marriages already are not really arranged anymore ,you meet ,you talk (courtship period) only the meeting is arranged!! and i'm sure during the courtship period he did not show he is an asshole even if it was on the phone!!As for financial independence, I said she needs to focus on her financial independence because -1) Her in laws are apparently waiting for her death as per OP, so, it is most practical thing to move out - when can she move out? When she has enough money to afford a rented house. And, she would need quite a lot of money to move out on her own.2) Yes she was wronged, but how is she supposed to ask for her 'rights' ? Please elaborate. Asking her in-laws, you should know that such things do not work in real life. This issue can either be made legal or she better move on, move out and get a hold of her life accepting the harsh realities of life. To do either - she needs money - needs economic independence.she is in a first world country,was married there she has right's!! and they support you completely in these situations!!So, to make any legal case out of this, you need money. She is in the first place, living with her in-laws because she has no where else to go. Now how is she now supposed to make a case against them and demand her rights?they appoint a lawyer and you don't have to pay right away you can pay when you have a job,and they give a place to stay,why did she wait for so long?OP -- I'd like to know if she has anyone to support her financially. And, why doesn't she come back to India if she is unable to secure a job there in NZ??
she shouldn't come back to india she has full support of the government there!!just need to be bold and take the first step.contact a social organisation for women their or something,move out live your life!!
Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil
@LailaMai --- yours are in bold.
I thought this was an arranged marriage scenario. OP, is this an arranged marriage?i'm sure during the courtship period he did not show he is an asshole even if it was on the phone!!And exactly that is why I have said arranged marriages or even to an extent, love marriages are pure luck/chance.she is in a first world country,was married there she has right's!! and they support you completely in these situations!Who is "they" you are talking about? How do you think she would go about to find "them" ??they appoint a lawyer and you don't have to pay right away you can pay when you have a job,and they give a place to stay,why did she wait for so long?Again, who is "they" ?What do you mean by "why did she wait so long? "she shouldn't come back to india she has the full support of the government there!!just need to be bold and take the first step.contact a social organisation for women their or something,move out live your life!!IDK what we are arguing about here. I said the same thing about her moving out and getting hold of her life.. if she is incapable of doing so in NZ(OP mentions that jobs are few, and menial), I was wondering why she could not come back to India where her parents live, and she can restart her life in a country full of opportunities(jobs).@red --- ? is that addressed to me?
no no i don't know how it got red😆..yea i agree but she should atleast complain makes me sad how they treat indian women ..she is bound to win such a strong case and that man as it is will have to give her alimony,the other day i heard a kiryana store bhaiya in my city is paying 25000rs monthly to his wife after a divorce(third world country),she can move to the city and get a job later.it's easier said then done.mostly everyone comes back in such situations that is why they take advantage of us.what has she got to loose ?
they- the government.:Legal aid
Legal aid is government funding to pay for legal help for people who cannot afford a lawyer.
Legal aid is an important part of New Zealand's justice system. It helps people to resolve legal problems that may go to court and makes sure that people are not denied justice because they can't afford a lawyer
love marriages - most of the love marriages i have seen ended up in a divorce and arranged ones are still going stronga friend of mine in a love marriage since 10 years is fighting a legal battle because he had an affair in his office,so yea love or arrange it is luck i guess
Originally posted by: concerned_kiwi
I am not a racist, but in this case (or cases like these) I must say "I hate white women"; I have seen quite a few youtube videos and they can be relationship breakers and seen to enjoy that.
Pardon for my offensive remark - but its coming out of a burst of emotions. I don't know whats so good about marrying a married man or a man from another race, caste or culture whose parents don't like you. Not only marrying but having a family and taking the man away from everyone else. They can be happy and have fun in this world, but there is another world where they will never be happy.My friend didn't have much rights or know much about her rights in the beginning. It takes time with Immigration and initially there is a thing called "hope" and that "stab this ho jayega" takes over ones senses.Yes she can afford to rent a house now, and the mother is law is not waiting for my friend's death but she is waiting for her OWN death. Its just unkind to abandon them now.Imagine my friend renting a house and staying in it - all alone. Its a better life but the experience of getting cheated doesn't get washed away so easy - specially when you know that the cheater is having fun with his b*tch.
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