ArHi:Anjali and her character flaws (02.11.2016)

This 13 part analysis might make a good bed time story.  It will either get you bored & put you to sleep or get you interested & keep you awake.  I have a feeling you won't regret reading it.  Shall we start? 

In my re watching saga of IPKKND, this has been bugging me since forever. 

This show has ended 4 years ago and people have moved on.  I am still upset with the show and certain character/s.  May be you are too! 

Can I share my feelings with you, if you don't mind? 

It is Anjali, I mean her character, I mean members' notion of Anjali's character and how I beg to differ with them. 

Yes, that is it.

I know it is THE most sensitive subject for some readers and not expecting more than few likes.  Anything else is a bonus 😊

 So, my fellow Arshians or die-hard fans of Pujali or Shyali, are you ready for a roller coaster ride?

Oh boy, stop shooting daggers at me, will you?

OK, I will stop kidding.  Can I settle for a ride with a bunch of balloons?

Happy now?

 Lots of members praised Anjali or treated her as a positive character.  I tried to look at her from that perspective and failed miserably.   Every time I start looking at her as a sweet, loving and caring sister and wife, she did something to pull me back to my original conclusion, which is ------- well --------- she is a clueless, confused, weak and to some extent a selfish character.

 So, finally I have decided to present my case on her character after 5 long years.

 By the way, I missed all the fun 5 years ago, because I did not know about IF in those days. 

The makers wanted to create an intelligent, strong, beautiful, elegant, caring and loving sister Anjali to match with a handsome, powerful, arrogant, ruthless and rich business tycoon brother ASR.  But what they ended up creating was a clingy, clueless, confused and flawed Anjali.  These qualities actually overshadowed her originally developed qualities.  Mind you, they were consistent in her characterization, so, we cannot attribute all her actions to creative amnesia or bloopers.  To move the show forward, Anjali needs to be in the dark and not supposed to know or figure out the most important happenings in her brother and husband's lives, while living with them in the same house and while claiming that she knows everything about them.  That surely makes her a clueless, confused and flawed person. 

Why make her a mother figure way before making her a biological mother and then make her try to abort her own baby? 

Why make her sulk, when her brother is getting cozy with his wife in his own bedroom, couple of days after her cheater husband was thrown out of the house, and then make her getting cozy with her husband couple of days after her own baby's death? 

Why make her worry about her husband spending his hard earned money, while making her spend her brother's hard earned money without batting an eye lid? 

Why make her inquire about her brother's every day activities while making her ignore her husband's everyday activities? 

Why make her stay away from confrontation with every other family member or important family situations while constantly confronting her brother in matters she does not even have a clue? 

Why make her preach others about a sacred husband wife relationship, while making her not follow the same? 

Why make her claim that she loves her brother and can do anything for her brother, while making her forget about his kidnapping.  It is not even forgetting, she never raised that topic as if it is not a big deal. 

Why make her enjoy the attention she was getting from all the hard working and non-working Raizada members while making her order others not to disturb her hard working husband? 

It is kind of - leave my husband alone, he is working very hard, but I will sulk for his absence and if you want, you can stop what you are doing and mollycoddle me. 

That is why Anjali's character lost our or at least my sympathy. 

This is what I want to talk about. 

I have a request.  This is about characters and not about actors.  So, kindly stay away from bashing actors please!  In my opinion, actors have done a fantastic job. 

This is my first attempt in writing something serious and I do not know how to arrange my thoughts.   So, they are scattered all over the place.  Please excuse me for all those mistakes including typos and grammar mumbo-jumbo. 

All parts of this analysis are posted in consecutive posts.

Continued in the next post...

My Reasons Part 1:

A.    If she really considers herself a mother to Arnav in the last 14 years, how could she try to kill her other baby, her Rajkumari for whom she was waiting for so long?  If her love for Shyam or hatred for Khushi is stronger than her love for the baby, then, her love for her Chote is definitely questionable.

B.     If her concern towards Arnav all these days was genuine, how did she overlook the fact that he got kidnapped and was held hostage for so many days in filthy conditions without having his daily dose of Diabetic medication?  I am not expecting her to believe Shyam is the kidnapper, but kidnapping was real, is it not?

C.     What is the definition of Saanse rokne wali in Anjali's words?  When Mami kept chanting in front of Lavanya that Arnav will sacrifice his own happiness to keep his Di happy, why didn't Anjali thought about his Saanse rokne wali and said "Mami stop saying that, Arnav's future happiness is with his life partner, I do not want him to sacrifice his happiness for me anymore, but I want him to lead a happy life with his wife".  Correct me if I got it wrong.

D.    What is the definition of working hard in Anjali's words?  She expects Arnav to pick up the phone whenever she calls him or come home whenever she asks him to come.  On the other hand, she always said, Shyam must be busy with an important work and cannot be disturbed.  She prohibited Raizada members from calling Shyam whenever she fainted or fell sick or got upset but she never prohibited them from calling/informing Arnav.  Why?  

Reasons from the show: 

1.      Anjali does not know what happened to Sheesh Mahal after they were thrown out.  It was mortgaged to an outsider and her Chacha was not able to pay off the debts.  As such, it was seized to be their home as soon as they were thrown out.  It was already converted into a hotel.  It is no more a home and was turned into a commercial property.  Arnav's main aim was, to buy that property back in Anjali's name to show his uncle that he was not a weak and helpless little boy, but, a ruthless business man who can crush his Chacha under his feet.  But, Anjali does not know any of this but, conveniently knows that Arnav bought it back and organised a fashion show.  That proves she is ignorant and clueless.  She is clueless about another matter.  Her husband was roaming around in Lucknow streets and she thought he is in Delhi. 

2.      Anjali made a wish few years ago for Arnav's prosperity.  Very good!  But, why did she make a wish which requires Arnav to visit Lucknow?  The city which turned him into a rude, arrogant and emotionless human being and where she herself was stopping him from going, in the first place!  On the same day she made Chane ki Roti and pickle for breakfast for Arnav.  Did Arnav eat it?  She was a caring sister, so she stopped him from going to Lucknow, which of course did not stop Arnav to plan and buy Sheesh Mahal to take revenge on his Chacha.  Then she made a wish for Arnav to visit a Darga in Lucknow.  To show her sisterly love, she made a special breakfast.  It does not matter whether Arnav likes it or not or eats it or not.

3.      One day, she went into Arnav's room and pestered him to get his diabetes checked.  He got it checked and went back to his room to pick his phone.  She followed him (I have no idea why she followed him) to his room and reprimanded him for not tidying up the room.  What? A billionaire business tycoon, has to tidy up his own room? I am not against people who fixes their own rooms.  But, what is the purpose of hiring an entire Prakash clan, if, Arnav has to tidy up his own room?  Were they hired to just set tables, prepare Pooja thals and diyas, and attend the front door?  On the other hand, Anjali packs and unpacks her husband's luggage, takes care of his laundry and carries milk and food for her husband.  I remembered another incident related to diabetes.  On the day of Arnav's trip to Nainital, she went out with Nani and Mami (I have again no idea where they went) taking the driver and one of the Prakash brothers, who was on duty with them.  She took the Script for Arnav's medicine with her too! What is the point of getting all concerned and call Arnav to find out whether she should send the driver with medicine?  If the medicine is important or if she is the care taker of Arnav's health, shouldn't she just buy it and send it home?  In fact, he fainted on that day, because he missed the dose.  

Continued in the next post...

Reasons Part 2:

1.      After Khushi handed her resignation, on Teej when Anjali met Payal and Khushi at the temple, she told Payal that Payal does not need to worry about Khushi because Khushi is a brave girl and can take care of herself.  Khushi almost lost her life couple of days before and Anjali knows about it.  Even then, she told Payal not to worry about Khushi.  Then why does Anjali gets worried about her brother and her husband at every minute of the day?  Are they not brave and can't they take care of themselves? 

2.      After the kidnapping saga, either Khushi is right or Shyam.  They both can't be right or both can't be wrong and be forgiven at the same time, for the kind of allegations they threw at each other.  By supporting Khushi, Arnav made it clear that Shyam is wrong.  How can Anjali demand Arnav to bring Shyam back into her life without addressing those accusations, when she could not even support Shyam openly?  I need to talk about it more.  Many readers said, why did Arnav not disclose the truth?  What truth?  What Khushi said is the truth, what Mami said is the truth, what NK said is the truth, what Payal said is the truth and finally what Arnav said is the truth.  The only problem is, there is no evidence and they could not prove it.  Arnav has every right to throw Shyam out simply because, he cheated Anjali and lied and created a big MU between Arnav and his wife.  Arnav does not need to explain things to anybody, but he owes an explanation to Anjali since Shyam is Anjali's husband.  He tried to explain but Anjali refused to listen, not once but three times if I remember correctly. 

3.      On Payal and Aakash's wedding day, Anjali welcomes Payal into Shantivan and says, Payal's life, happiness and sadness are now tied with Aakash.  But she constantly proved that it does not apply to her and it does not apply to Arnav's wife either.  During renewing their wedding vows on Teej, Anjali promises her husband that she will not step between him and his happiness.  Anjali never shared her unhappiness with Shyam.  Whenever she was frightened, she clung on to or looked at Arnav as if Arnav is her father.  She never sought that kind of solace from her husband.

4.      She was hell bent on 7 wedding vows.  Which wedding vow did she fulfil in her married life?  One of the wedding vows is, in sickness and in good health they will be together.  She never disclosed her sickness including a near fatal accident to her husband and got hyper whenever Shyam got as small as a scratch on his body.  The other vow is, they will be together whether they have money or not.  She used money to buy stuff for herself, which was not earned by either of them and she used money to write cheques for her husband, which was neither inherited nor earned by her.  I seriously think the vow they took was "we will be together in spending Arnav's money" 😆 .  Truthful and faithful to/with each other.  She hid so many things from her husband in the pretext of surprising him or not wanting to worry him.  The other vow is to have kids and take the family name forward.  She did not disclose her suspected pregnancy to her husband.  She did not even think of calling him before sharing the pregnancy news with the rest of the family.

5.      While we are at wedding vows, I remembered something else.  First she preached Arnav that a certain Saanse rokne wali will come into his life.  She did not speak about Saath Phere at that time.  When he secretly married Khushi, she screamed on top of her lungs that why did he marry in a hurry without telling her.  She did not even realise that they were missing during Aakash's wedding until she needed a thal.  When Arnav threatened to leave home, she did not question them about Saath Phere, while making them fulfil the other customs.  How did she assume that Arnav will get married with all the wedding rituals, when he does not even believe in marriage?  When Dadi mentioned about Saath Phere, Anjali suddenly remembered about that particular custom and said, "Without Saath Phere how can we accept you as a couple?"  What if they have already consummated their wedding?  Would she have asked them to get separated?  When he agreed to marry Khushi again with all the customs, she said, I have so many Armaan about your wedding, now I can fulfil them.  So, it is all about her Armaan.  His wedding has nothing to do with a Saanse rokne wali or Saath Phere 😆.

6.      Arnav's love for Anjali is unconditional.  Anjali boasted her love for Arnav, but manipulated, criticised, questioned, pushed and finally back stabbed that love by meeting Shyam secretly behind Arnav in his own house after Arnav kicked Shyam out in front of the whole family. 

7.      How many times did she say she was tired and want to take rest?  How many times did she say, Shyamji must be tired and needs rest?  What did that couple do to get tired so often more than Nani who is two generations old, Arnav who works hard to take care of the whole family, Mamaji and Aakash who works with Arnav, Payal who takes care of cooking and cleaning and Khushi who helps around the house and takes care of her own tiffin service?  I have never seen her telling these people to take rest.

Continued in the next post...

Reasons Part 3:

1.      By the looks of it, Anjali must have read her mother's letter to her future DIL so many times.  One of the requests in the letter was to bear with Arnav's anger and return his love with interest.  When Arnav shouted at Khushi and asked her to leave, on the first day of her job as a trainer, Anjali said, it is not an insult to Khushi but to her because she hired Khushi.  She then got angry and screamed at him and ordered him to bring Khushi back.  Why did she get angry at him?  Can't she bear his anger and solve the issue with a cool head? Isn't that what her mother wanted or is it reserved for only Arnav's future wife?

2.      The morning after Khushi's contract marriage, Mami vehemently refused to let Khushi into the kitchen saying that I can't let her in my kitchen.  No matter how much she loved Anjali, her hold on that kitchen is stronger than Anjali's.  We all know that only Arnav or Nani can veto Mami's claim not Anjali.  In that house, everybody loves Anjali because, the caretaker of the house, which is Arnav, puts her in his mother's position and wants to keep her happy all the time just like any other adoring sons do.

3.      Why does she always want Arnav to help around the house during festivals?  What is the significance of Arnav working in the house?  There are three other men in the house.  Why didn't she ever ask any of them?  Unless, it is Arnav's house and as the owner, he will get good luck if he does festive related chores.  Don't tell me that she is used to depend on him from childhood.  Don't forget they came to live with Nani's family when their parents died.  So, festive related work was done by either Nani or Mami in that house.  When Arnav's business flourished and he bought Shantivan, that right of taking care of the house should go to his wife.  Since he is not married, he let Anjali perform all Pujas in that house.  I am 100% sure, that is how, Shyam noticed Anjali's increasing financial status, followed her and made her fall in love with him and got married to her.

4.      Shyam has Pineapple allergy and Anjali made a huge fuss.  First she instructs kitchen staff to make some halwa without Pineapple for Shyam.  When Shyam ate halwa with Pineapple and started sneezing, she screamed at the staff saying I already warned you and why did you let him eat it, as if they fed Pineapple with their own hands.  Arnav has dust allergy.  She forces Arnav to clean the house and can happily watch him cleaning the house with a cloth tied around his nose and mouth.  She even giggles about it.  I have no idea about Pineapple allergy but dust allergy can get worse too!  I am a living example.  When I am hit with dust allergy, I feel like chopping my head off and throw it away.  That is how irritating and painful it can get.

5.      One day, Arnav got upset with Khushi for making noise when he was on the phone.  He calls out for Di to complain.  Di comes down and says, there is no one in the kitchen and Chote has disturbed her unnecessarily when she was busy doing some work.  What was she doing?  Selecting jewelry for Chote's future wife.   Selecting his future wife's jewelry is more important than his current concern.  Why would he make up that someone is making noise in the kitchen?  I am flabbergasted.  On top of that whenever she calls Arnav she expects him to pick up the phone without a second's delay.  He can never be in a 'not to be disturbed' situation when she calls him and she keeps instructing other people not to disturb Shyam because he must be busy at work!!!!!!!!    

6.      Arnav and Khushi made mistakes, they suffered and once all the misunderstandings are cleared, they started enjoying life.  In Anjali's case, she is the sole reason for Shyam to set foot in that house.  Raizada family adored him and respected him through Anjali and for Anjali.  Had they dealt with him directly, they would have realised how vile he was.  Anjali simply needs a trophy husband.  She does not need anything from her husband and she was willing to sacrifice everything for him including her happiness.  That is not how a husband-wife relationship works. Their's bound to fail and it failed.  Anjali did not even realise why it failed and on the other hand she preaches all and sundry about successful marriages. 

Continued in the next post...

Explanation Part 1:

As far as I can see, Anjali's character is the most confused, clueless and flawed in the entire show.  To create an impossible love triangle between a cold and ruthless billionaire business tycoon, a stupid but nave girl Khushi, ever manipulative - and half the time missing from home - Shyam, all the flaws were dumped on Anjali.

I could not even enjoy the beautiful brother sister relationship between Arnav and Anjali with all these flaws.  I know a real life brother and sister where the younger brother sacrificed his career to take care of his sick sister and the sister who has recovered now, treats him literally like her third child.  The love, banter and adoration I see between this lady and her brother are much more enjoyable than what I saw between Anjali and Arnav.

Anjali forgave her father who cheated on his wife.

She forgave her mother who committed suicide without thinking about the children.

She forgave her uncle who snatched their home and left them on the street.

She forgave her grandmother who ran away to Ashram without worrying about the newly orphaned grandchildren.

She forgave Shyam for lying and cheating.

None of them apologised or repented.

But when it comes to Arnav, whenever she was upset with him, she sits on the bed or in a corner with a sad face and cries until he asks for forgiveness. 

Mind you, this does not apply to matters related to his marriage, his religious beliefs or his rude behavior towards Khushi or Lavanya.  In these matters he would not listen to anybody and Anjali apart from pouting and raising her voice by a fraction of a dB, she never got upset with him.  I will come back to this point later.

Lavanya was invited to Shantivan because of Anjali.  During her stay, Lavanya was badly treated by Nani and Arnav.  Anjali did not stand up for Lavanya.

Anjali blackmailed Khushi to train Lavanya at Shantivan.  Khushi was badly treated by Arnav, Lavanya and Mami.  Again, Anjali did not stand up for Khushi.

Of course, she stood up against Arnav for Khushi few times and excused him as soon as he reiterated that Anjali is his Devi Mayya and Arnav continued on insulting Khushi and Anjali continued on living a happy and giggly life.

In my opinion, Anjali should not have hired Khushi to train Lavanya without considering Arnav's feelings or without telling him or without consulting him, because, she hired Khushi to train Arnav's girlfriend, which is directly related to him.  When he shouted at Khushi, she should not have gotten all angry at Arnav, because Shyam and Mami have already warned her about this outcome.  When Arnav was insulting Khushi and calling her a gold digger, Anjali should have said, Khushi did not want to work here in the first place and she had to blackmail Khushi using the contract to get Khushi to train Lavanya.  That could have saved lot of heart ache.   Instead Anjali accused Arnav that Arnav has insulted her, by throwing Khushi out, who was hired by her.

If I have to believe that she was a pillar of support for Arnav in the last 14 years, she should have done much more to Lavanya and Khushi who were basically her responsibility during training days.  And she should not have cried for all those minuscule matters and should have stayed strong and took care of some of her own problems too!

Her character was flawed because she has no real purpose, no rights or no responsibilities apart from emotionally blackmailing and bossing Arnav around.  Her character is the only one, who preached something and practiced entirely different.  I forgot the count half way through the show.  This whole show is about Arnav's marriage.  At the beginning, Anjali never thought about his marriage.  She knows about Lavanya, Nimmi, Lisa and all the models Arnav was dating and has no issues with Arnav's Casanova style of living.  It became an issue only when Nani found out about it.

Continued in the next post...

Explanation Part 2:

During Teej, she was on fasting for two days.  At the same time, to pacify Arnav, she wanted to cook something special for him.  Excellent!

She fainted while cooking and Arnav rushed home to take care of her.  Everybody said, health is more important and she should not worry about customs by putting her health at risk.  Not to forget that she herself preached Arnav on various occasions that health is more important than anything else.  She did not listen to them.

Arnav finally said, O.K if you still want to continue with the fasting, at least sit at one place and don't walk around.  But in those two days, she literally run a marathon for no apparent reason and fainted at regular intervals too!

She meant well, when she wanted to take care of Arnav, but that forced Arnav to stay at home to take care of her instead. Did she realise that?

She told everyone not to bother her husband because, it would worry him and she does not want to disturb him in the middle of his important work.  Her husband's work is important, but her brother's is not?  What is the point of telling Arnav to go and attend his meetings, when she kept fainting in front of him?

My point is, she did not mean anything wrong, but she is old and educated enough to realise at some point that her actions are causing more worry to Arnav than making him relax and think about his own life.   

What was that wedding vow?  Anjali promises her husband that she will make sure that he always stays happy and she will not come between him and his happiness.  So, she is not a part of his happiness?  What a stupid wedding vow?  On the other hand, she happily listens to Mami, whenever Mami says, Arnav will sacrifice his happiness for his Di.

In other words, Anjali Jha will keep Shyam Jha happy, Arnav will keep Anjali Jha happy and Raizadas can go to hell.

Shyam suggested that they should bring Lavanya home, so Nani can change her opinion about her.  Anjali was over the moon for the suggestion and forced Arnav to bring Lavanya home.

When Nani was yelling at Lavanya and forbidding Anjali or Mami to help Lavanya, Anjali got this idea that she can buy the services of Khushi to train Lavanya.  In her enthusiasm to make Lavanya suitable for Shantivan, she completely ignored that the equation between Khushi and Arnav is not good, Arnav has enormous anger issues, he might not like Khushi working in the house and consequences can be disastrous.  She was training Lavanya for Arnav's future happiness at the cost of his present happiness.  100 points (negative, though) to you Anjali.

Lavanya was just an arm candy for Arnav.  When it came to confrontation with Nani, Arnav clearly said he wants to have a no strings attached' relationship with Lavanya and Nani said she can't accept Lavanya as their daughter in law.  Both are completely two different opinions.  Anjali along with Shyam supported Nani but Anjali kept claiming that she was doing it for Arnav's happiness.  If you look at it without prejudice, they have actually mislead both Arnav and Lavanya.

Throughout Lavanya's training Anjali's actions/feelings are like a see-saw.

First she apologises to Nani for hiding the details of Arnav's girlfriend.

After a day, she tells Nani that she will support Arnav no matter what.

Then she said may be Nani is right and Lavanya is not suitable for Arnav.

She went against Shyam and Mami's suggestions and hired Khushi to train Lavanya saying that it was her only option to get happiness to Chote and she will take care of the rest.

She failed on first day itself and when Arnav insulted Khushi for keep coming back to his house, instead of telling him the truth that she has blackmailed Khushi to train Lavanya, she suddenly become a damsel in distress and made Arnav a monster for daring to insult his fragile Di in the eyes of his family.  In the process, she unknowingly created 4 solid enemies for Khushi.  You know who they are don't you? 

A day or two later, when the same Khushi was again insulted by Lavanya (by bringing in police to get her background verified), Anjali with a shocked expression stood on the side and watched the drama instead of saying that she hired Khushi and she can vouch for Khushi.  At the end she told Arnav that it was all a big misunderstanding.  Which part of the drama was a misunderstanding?

She asked Arnav whether he does not want to get married at all or just not want to get married to Lavanya and she promptly forgot about it and kept shoving Lavanya down his throat.

She preached him about a Saanse rokne wali and did not try to find whether Lavanya is the one or not.

When Lavanya left Shantivan for the first time, she said they have to sort this problem out between themselves.  Who asked her to intervene in the first place?

Anjali created a big mess in Lavanya's case and at the end happily took credit for understanding Arnav for breaking the engagement with Lavanya.

Continued in the next post...

Explanation Part 3:

Let us fast forward to the confrontation episodes.

After Arnav was rescued from the kidnappers, Khushi accused and, Anjali defended Shyam.  That is perfectly fine, because it is one against one and there is lack of evidence.

Later Mami, NK and Payal have also pointed fingers at Shyam.  Even though Anjali has no reason to believe Payal, even though there is no proof, it is 4 family members against one, which indicates something.  Still Anjali believed Shyam.

When Arnav without saying a word (oops, sorry - without saying a word in favour of Khushi) slapped Shyam for cheating his Di and misbehaving with his wife and threw him out of Shantivan, shouldn't Anjali think maybe there is really something wrong with Shyam?

Doesn't she know how much Arnav loves her and does anything and everything to keep her happy?

If she still thinks Shyam is innocent, hasn't she got some logical choices to make?  She could have confronted Arnav.  Demanded for proofs/tried to look for proofs herself.  If there is no proof, she could have ordered Arnav to bring Shyam back to Shantivan or she could have left with Shyam.

She did nothing.  Because, her problem is not, why Arnav kicked Shyam out without proof, but it is, why Arnav supported Khushi without proof.  I can confidently say this because, she never tried to, find out what really happened, but, as soon as Arnav explained that as per his Di's prediction, he found his Saanse rokne wali in Khushi, she softened a bit towards Khushi.  This did not shed any light on the allegations and counter allegations thrown between Shyam, Khushi and the rest of the family.

During that conversation Arnav said that he misunderstood Khushi and married her to save his Di and her unborn child and it is much later that he found that Shyam is the sole culprit in this whole mess.  Did Anjali pay any attention to that?  I guess not.

The only things she picked from the whole conversation were, she was right in her prediction and Arnav married Khushi to save Di's happy life.

She did not understand that her husband was a bad guy.  Arnav suffered and made Khushi suffer in the process and she completely ignored the fact that Arnav got kidnapped.

If it was not Shyam, it was someone else, but kidnapping was real, right?  Arnav and Khushi returned home in dirty and torn clothes with cuts and bruises.  Did Anjali notice any of that? 

Actually, I said she had some logical choices.  Forget about choices, leaving Shantivan is not even a contemplatable subject for Anjali.  She thinks it is Arnav's responsibility to make her stay comfortable.  If she is upset with him, Arnav must apologise to her and if she is not happy, make her happy by giving whatever she wants.

To her horror, Arnav not only ignored the regular script, but also put someone else next to his Di.

That is why she said, when your Di is going through so much pain and grief, how can you give importance to Khushiji?  She completely ignored that Arnav and Khushi have suffered too! They need some time off too! (From her, I say   )

That is the problem with Anjali.  She took so many things for granted.

1.      Nani, Mama and Mami giving shelter to them

2.      Arnav growing up overnight to take care of her

3.      Arnav earning money and taking care of her and her husband.

4.      Can depend on Arnav for financial, emotional and physical support, while claiming that her husband has done a huge favour by marrying her and her husband is working very hard to take good care of her.

5.      If something goes wrong, it is Arnav's duty to fix it.

Continued in the next post...

Anjali's relationship with Arnav - 1:

Her relationship with her brother and husband is very confusing

Let us start with the brother.

She claims that she knows her Chote very well, she can do anything for her Chote and she can make Chote do anything for her. 

Does she really?

What was Arnav's recurring nightmare?  What was his biggest fear?

He thinks he somehow could have saved his Mum from committing suicide.  He feels guilty that he could not save her.  So, he gave his mother's place to his elder sister and wanted to make sure that she is safe and happy.

He was angry with his father for cheating on his mother. He even disowned his father's last name and adopted his mum's last name.

Anjali has no such issues.  She respected both parents equally.  She only blamed the other women. I doubt she changed her last name to Raizada before getting married.

Now, what did she do to get rid of Arnav's biggest fear?

She could have said, Arnav, you grew up very fast and took care of me all these years.  Now I got married.  I love my husband and he loves me back.  There is nothing to worry about me.  I am safe with you and my husband.  I am happy with my family.  So, stop worrying about me and start enjoying your life.  I want you to forget about the past, move on, find a life partner and settle in life.

Instead, she continuously showed Arnav that she still needs his attention or she is still his responsibility.  Whenever Mami or someone said, Arnav can sacrifice his happiness for Anjali, did she ever say, there is no need to sacrifice his happiness and he has done enough for her?

If you are a mother or an elder sister, won't you say that? 

She once said, a certain Saanse rokne wali will enter Arnav's life and he will not be able to breathe if she goes away from his life.  Fantastic thought.

In the beginning episodes, at least three times, Arnav blurted Khushi's name, when Anjali was talking about Lavanya.  A person who never gives a damn about any person other than his Di, blurted a girl's name (who, he recently got acquainted with and hates too!), doesn't that mean that he was affected by her?

She even found him staring at Khushi's photo when she barged in on him one day.

Anjali (who says, she knows him inside out) could not put 2 and 2 together.  Her focus was only on Arnav's future wife Lavanya not on him.

When she brought Lavanya into Shantivan, did she try to find out whether Lavanya is that Saanse rokne wali or not?  Of course, she raised a question and forgot about it as soon as she raised it.

There were clear signs that she was not the one.  Arnav was very cold towards Lavanya.  Arnav openly insulted Lavanya and despised Lavanya's changed ideology on love and marriage.  In spite of that, Anjali was busy getting Lavanya trained and busy getting Nani's approval.  What was she planning to do when Nani approves?  Arnav said he doesn't believe in love and is never interested in getting married and he never said he will marry Lavanya if Nani approves.  If she loves her Chote, why did Nani's approval become more important than what Chote wants?

She made a big fuss when Lavanya left.  Arnav did not give a damn as usual. 

Then Arnav openly started flirting (maybe there is a better word, but I can't think of it right now) with Khushi.  Again Anjali did not try to find out whether Khushi is the one.

Instead, she started playing Comedy nights with Nani and Tragedy days without Anjali.

Continued in the next post...

Anjali's relationship with Arnav - 2:

When Arnav forced Khushi to marry him, he said everybody wanted him to get married, so he got married, so, just be happy and leave him alone. 

Anjali even noticed his affection towards Khushi before their secret wedding.  So, she should not have any reason to believe that there is something wrong between them.  Still she kept on asking him, why he married Khushi without consulting the family, especially her.

Arnav announced his decision to marry Lavanya without consulting them.  He set his engagement date without consulting them.  He changed the engagement date without consulting them.  He has decided to break his engagement without consulting them.   He never gave a reason for any of his actions.  Why did she think he will give one now?

Knowing his impulsive decision making habits, she should have been worried about Khushi.  Not torture her with more questions.  She ordered the family to accept them as a couple only after Arnav threatened to leave Shantivan.

Anjali barging into Arnav's room before he got married in itself is bad, but we will excuse her because he is her brother.  (Why only Anjali, the whole clan treats Arnav's room as Grand Central).  How can she bang the bedroom door, barge in or walk in on the couple when they are having a private moment?  She did not even find it odd when Shyam is frequently making trips to Arnav's room after Arnav got married.

Did you notice, she rarely stepped into Arnav's room when he was away on that alleged Scotland trip and resumed her barging-ins once he returned? When Khushi is still living in that room while Arnav was away, how can Anjali suggest her husband to use the bathroom in Khushi's bedroom?  How disgusting is that?  Is she that ignorant?

Some members said, she is a nice lady and she assumes everything around her is also nice.

Being nice and being dumb are two different qualities.  More than nice, she is a clueless & confused person, which was bad for both herself and her loved ones. 

Anjali assumed a mother's role in Arnav's life.  She could get him to do certain things, which are listed below.

1.      She could get him to go to Darga because she made a wish

2.      She could get him to carry Puja Tals to temples, because she is fragile and fatigued

3.      She could get him to let Shyam stay in Shantivan (after the miscarriage) because she needed Shyam!  It really amused me, when she asked Arnav, "Chote I want Shyamji, please give him back to me", as if Shyam is a toy and Arnav carries him around in his pocket.

4.      She could get him to bring Khushi back to train Lavanya because she was upset.

5.      She could get him to tie lemon and chillies to a tree in his garden by putting a guilt trip on him. 

Arnav did all those things not only because Anjali asked him, but also because he considers her as his mother and he will, can and wants to do anything for her.

 On the other hand, she could not make him do certain other things.  Please check below. 

A.    She could not make him laugh

B.     She could not make him enjoy social life

C.     She could not get him to control his anger

D.    She could not get him to forget the past and move on

E.     She could not get him to believe in love (as in loving your soulmate) 

He did not do all these things because he never got a chance.  After his parents' death, he had to grow up fast and take care of him and his sister.  So, he concentrated on his studies and then started his own business to take care of the whole family.  He got his sister married and continued taking care of her.  

Anjali as a sister, never stepped aside and gave him a chance to let him enjoy his life.  She knows that he keeps thinking about her happiness.  She never tried to show him that she is well and truly happy.  She never hid her unhappiness, sadness, sickness and panicky nature, from him the way she hid them from her husband.  She always tried to impose her beliefs and her sorrows on Arnav both knowingly and unknowingly.

Continued in the next post...