Burden of Expectations- Meghnadh

When Akshaya kumar died I had told he died in search of his identity because he was compared 

Tarini Ravan's other son died of Blind faith in his father

And Meghnadh the most talented of Ravan's sons he dies because of burden of expectations. Though not to that extend in Meghnadh I saw myself the 10th std student of 1997. Class topper, school 3rd and a very strong contender for one among the 15 rank at state level 10th std exams. Parents, relatives, teachers, neighbours from the time I was in 8th was waiting for 1997. 

For the 15 year old it was overwhelming. Exam after exam she had straight As. But the question she got at home was whether she will be able to continue that performance next exam also. If there was a 98 or 99 it was asked where was 1 mark or 2 mark. It was never told good you got 98 or 99. 

When I turn back the girl who finally sat for the 10th board exam was mentally very weak. Fear of not meeting the expectations of many had creeped into her. And that journey ended the most disastrous way. She was not among 15th rank and she was pushed to class 4th and that too because of her strongest subject. English paper 2. Guys those of you who praise my analysis understand the mental state of a person that too a 15 year old  who has got 2nd at State Level Youth Festival for English Essay writing got a meagre 76% for that paper when others who couldnt even write 2 sentences properly had scored 96 and 98%. 

Irrespective of getting a 92% in SSLC I shut myself in a room crying. And to add to the wound there was no dearth of sympathisers who came and consoled me it's ok. I didnt wanted sympathy at that point. I refused to go to school, I refused to meet anyone. 92% marks I was ashamed to tell anyone. Because for me it was failure, it was trust breaking for my family. 

If not for my mom's colleague's husband who was a professor I dont think I would have recovered. Instead of showing me my English marks he showed me my Maths mark that too second paper geometry from 8th to 10th. A journey from 75% to 98%. He said no measurement is needed for my English talent. It will be there. But to reach 98 from 75 grit is needed. And my 92 % overall will give me the group I want for plus 2 and once plus 2 admission is done SSLC marks no one cares. It doesnt matter whether I was 1st or 2nd. Now what matters is plus 2. 

Yes I was lucky to get that guidance. To see the glass half full when it mattered most. But many kids dont get it. Satisfying their parents expectations they burn day in day out. With no emotional support to talk about their failures, talk about their fears they walk towards their destruction. And world loses many talented youngsters. 

A word of appreciation goes a long way in a child. You can mentor, but appreciate the good things. Allow the child to open up and share their fears. Give them a cushion for their failures. Teach them to enjoy the journey. Many a child will bloom, it will not wither. 

But if you go on burdening your child with expectation after expectation, not trusting the child enough, not acknowledging the child enough understand you are sending that child towards destruction.

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Gowri parents realize the fault once the child no longer exists. The recent example is the suicide of a girl in Kota who wrote a 5 page letter to her parents. What is the point crying if you have not understood what are you doing to your child 

Understanding children , their potentials , capabilities and limitations is a very important need for every parent . It is with these that they should motivate and encourage the kids to go for their targets. In the process they should also prepare them to face certain unexpected failures with a strong positive mind and extend their support in handling such crisis. Sure all this can be done only by developing a heathy rapport between the parent and children . Here is where some real life experiences  shared could go a long way . Spiritual guidance too would help .

As mentioned by you , the cushion of understanding from the parent's side is to be extended to the child .

Ravan as mentioned by Sulochana has been quite a selfish person who cared about anybody else but his ego !

Sad the sons kept searching for their father in Ravan and  all of them ended with failure !

Good to see a more calm and sensible Lakshman today after the near to death  experience and reminder of their guru's lessons by his Ram bhaiya yesterday.

Also lakshman's strategy today reminded me of your  writeup regarding - trick them to react  !

But after a few scoldings my parents started encouraging me, nd that's where I gained that grit to perform well in my  other competitive exams.  And finally I kept on improving and I got very good rank in other competitive exams, 1000 rank too 😛 all because of the constructive criticisms by my parents :)

What I loved in skr sanjeevni track was how Ram awakes Lakshman and prevents him from going on the wrong path of anger and rage, whereas Ravan blames MN and that makes him choose even more wrong path. 

If Ram had not taught Lakshman to control his anger, maybe again he would have lost the battle again and Ram would have lost his dearest brother... And then the way he stood behind Lakshman as a support was a treat to watch :)

@aditi good that your parents finally started supporting you. See unnecessary competition due to comparison is really bad for the child. And Ram I guess his way of criticizing I had detailed in our loops post.

Ohh in Symbol thread! I lost track of the thread, its moving very fast 😆😆

I read the horse symbolism by Savita di, is it after that??