Dont we need family's consent- Ram

Ram asks a very profound question. Has Dasrath taken the consent of the family. Why that question was important. It is very important. Because when such major decisions are announced all the family has to stay united. irrespective of the day or night of the coronation announcement one thing I know is that the queens knows about the coronation announcement through other sources and not through the king. 

Though when I had read Ramayan I have not looked at this aspect very deeply, but when I watched SKR it touched me deeply. 

Reason having born in a joint family, having grown up in a joint family till early teenage I have seen the family disintegrating and when I turn back I still love my days in the joint family as a child. Though as a teenager I didnt know why it broke up, later in my youth and post my marriage I understood why the family disintegrated. Why trust faded. Why it became nuclear families. 

Reason was ego clashes, power equations and the inability of the family head to handle the moral conflict the proper way. issues were pushed under the carpet expecting them to corrected on their own. But they were never healed. There were enough Manthara's around to open the raw wounds and they burst open now and then. 

Even if you look from Valmiki Ramayan perspective you see Dasrath was unable to handle his family. His wife overrode his decision shaming him. It doesnt matter what she did or what became of her. But this man's inability to take his wife into confidence the proper way or keep a tag on a dasi Manthara by putting an ultimatum ( comon he is the king and if the king feels something is threatneing for his family and country harsh decisions has to be taken) ended up destroying the lives of 8 youngsters who had nothing to do with the mess. 

And in SKR it was shown most prominently. Dasrath knew Kaikeyi had conflict of interest. Why didnt he speak to her on Ram's coronation. Infact why didnt he speak to the queens on the coronation aspect before announcing to public. 

First you convince the inside people, before you go outside. Because if you cannot convince inside, how were you convincing outside. You are just pretending and that's the truth. You are just sticking to traditions and ruling according to set customs that's it. But unfortunately great things are not done by walking the path travelled by mutliple people, but by cutting a new path of one's own. 

So before you go outside, ensure you are able to convince everyone inside. First convince your decision to yourself. Then convince your family. You will see a much better result than taking decisions to appease your ego. Because it will back fire. It can only bring destruction. 

Well thought of Shruthi and well pointed out. Jeez we can learn so much from every incidence of Ramayan..the epic is so so deep, relevant and applicable to human lives. 

Even I think had he taken Kaikayi into confidence knowing wat conflict she is goin through, it would have been a different situation than that wat actually happened. 

The deadly repurcussions occur when the same news is broken to the person by some other source, as here, it is manthara...the effect of hearing the news from some third person and that too the news that one has conflict or some anger issue associated with it is always detrimental.

 When we discuss something with a person and we know that we both have different opinion or some conflict abt the issue, and then all of a sudden, the other person already takes a decision regarding the issue without even consulting once, it makes the former hyper and lose sense/logic because it comes to ego clash and power inequality. 

wat is even more damaging is that the news of the decision is given by the third person. it makes the person highly insecure and it can force the person to feel that the other person has conspired against him/her just as wat Kaikayi thought. in such situations, the person can then make very harsh decision just to prove that he/she is also powerful and how dare the other one tried to suppress him/her.  

Ego 

That is what creates the clashes

@attubaby you are right. The third party involvement makes it look like some conspiracy. As much as possible try to solve issues one to one. If third party needs to be involved use one whom both parties trust and accept and one who has the best interests of both parties. 

@gmgi all that was needed was some soothing words to kaikeyi on Ram's gun. It would have stopped any poison from Manthara. 

You picked up a valid point here. I feel that only when tradition /custom/parampara is followed while taking care of emotions of the people involved , then only any decision taken  can succeed and it inspires the following generations to follow that too .. Not caring of inidividual's emotions and not respecting them only leads to discontent and eventually rebellion at somepoint turning things ugly .. this holds even to nuclear families as well ..