I am a Kulvadhu first and then sister- Sita

Because in relations there will always be conflicts . An efficient manager is the one who manages the conflicts in relations. And women are said to excellent manager and that's why they are good home makers. And especially if you are in a leadership position like that of Sita the eldest vadhu of Ayodhya it becomes very important quality you should have with you. 

So what is conflict management and how do you manage it. First and the foremost thing in conflict management is fixing the priority. When you are at crossroads what will you choose. 

Sita is a sister to all 3 girls, but post marriage in addition to being sisters they are kulvadhu's of Ayodhya and Sita's devrani's too. Sita is jethani to them. 

It is natural for any sister to feel sad if Sita's behaviour towards them change. Conflict is bound to happen. Someone can pour oil in the burning insecurities. So Sita in the beginning itself is telling that her priority will be the duty of the kulvadhu. Her sisterly duty comes after that. If there is any conflict between her sisterly duties and her duties as Kulvadhu of Ayodhya, she will choose the duty of Kulvadhu of Ayodhya. 

And her sisters also will have to do that. Over and above their sisterly love, they have to choose the kulvadhu dharma. 

With this sentence Sita is ensuring that all the sisters know why she acts in a certain way in future and they dont feel sad, instead they try to understand it is her duty as a kulvadhu to do that. 

Same is the case with our relations also. Learn to fix priorities upfront. Dont give unnecessary expectations. Many people dont know to fix priority and they mess up everything. Instead of one conflict they will end up having multiple conflicts. 

Conflict management is very essential for working woman. If you have your child's b'day and client meeting, tell the child upfront that mama wont be available on b'day but will make sure the coming weekend will take the child for movie or dinner. Then stick to it. So that the next time you are making trade offs the child trusts you. 

if your child is sick and you have important office meeting, call the office upfront, inform the situation, tell them the back up plans also and ensure the back up plan works so that trust is maintained. 

Learn to make trade offs in a nice way. Stick to committments so that people accept trade offs with free will. Instead of running around doing everything sensible trade offs will give you breathing space. 

Now another thing. Sita stressed the word Kul Vadhu not beti. Understand this difference. First try to be a good kulvadhu. That's your relation with them. And as times goes by when you become so much part of the system as kulvadhu slowly you will be accepted in the family as beti. Never try to jump into everything and try to become beti. You will neither become kulvadhu nor beti. You will end up in soup. Learn, take guidance from your MIL, get support from your husband be a good kulvadhu or DIL before attempting to be a beti

Whenever you are at a new place any intelligent person will observe, will learn, will adapt, will try to win trust by doing diligently the tasks assigned to them. Problems you discuss with your husband. Support him when he takes a stand and then slowly you will be asked opinions and you will start giving them.

Men may not observe everytime. But atleast 60-70% of them listen to you if you speak with clarity and conviction than cribbing.