remember me?😆
after my song drabble on armaan ridhima m here again😃
bringing you all a poem drabble on our beloved armaan and ridhimaa😛
i am a kashian so have kept shilpa in my mind while writing and making banner
however you can imagine whichever ridhimaa you love😉😉
update dedicated to enthusiastic aka meri paru🤗
oops sry sry...meri ni jiju ki🤣
and also to nkapoor001 aka nikki as she turned rockerzzcongo🤗
banner made by me...well the raw banner.😆
i know its a crappy edit but its my first failed attempt🤣
😛Sparks Of Attraction😛
I didn't know what was love until I fell so hard from my not-believing-in love attitude. Being a rowdy natured girl with life's equation full of fun and mischief I never wanted anything more. But the wave of destiny crossed over me. And breezes seemed to be so smoothingly good caressing my insides that I didn't even realized when I fell for him.
The chatter box that I used to be once wasn't able to utter a single syllable when he stood in front of me. That was my hesitation and he was the first man in this big world who made me blush. Heck I didn't even knew how to blush until he made me. He made me blush really? Or were they only my hormones which were unable to control those sparks of attraction?
It might have started with just attraction but I know now that the feelings have grown so much inside me that it has matured into my honest love for him.
Do love stories ever have endings? I wonder and ponder on such things many times. I don't know if my love story was ever our love story. Neither do I know that if this love story has even started yet or not. All I know is that there is surely something between us whose ending I couldn't see. It might be eternal...thinking that I console this heart who is sitting dull and hollow. My heart beats still but the void which is unfulfilled scares me. It has made me strong but I'm afraid it would drown soon.
I sigh closing my diary gazing at my table lamp. I'm feeling so alone and it's like a weight has been kept on my heart which is unbearable. The heavy weight of lonliness. I switch off the lamp and glance outside my window into the dark night. Li'll creatures buzz around and their wings sparkle in the moonlight. It's has been a hot day. I breath long and sigh switching on the lamp again. I want to write so much about how I feel but the lump in my throat doesn't let me and the weakness engulfing me isn't helping much. It's not that I'll have to speak but then again words aren't enough to describe how I feel. And there's no one to whom I can share or who can understand my condition.
I switch off the lamp again staring into nothingness trying to befriend the silence. I lean on the table folding my arms on the surface and resting my head on my wrists. Two tears slip by mocking at my vulnerable state. And I too smile sadly accepting that no matter how strong I pretend I am, I know the truth is something died right within me when he left me. My thoughts go back to the time he was near me. Not that near but fairly near enough.
I was coming back from my college. Fiddling with the shoulder strap of my bag I bit my lip out of nervousness. It was that time of the day when he used to stand in his balcony and I used to cross his building while going to mine. Glancing at him shyly I used to cover my side of the head with my hairs and then used to curl those strands behind my ears. I always saw him smirking at this act of mine. It took me days to realize that he actually saw me blushing. And that's when I learnt this new style of teenage love...coloring the cheeks with natural blush. Releasing the flesh inside of my mouth from my tooth's grip I used to see his glistening eyes. With my steps taking me away from his region I used to whisper a chuckle like a crazy love struck. It was love which got me going crazy.
My head spins as I open my eyes smiling sadly at his memory still so clear in my heart. I stand up and walk to the window pane. To cause some relief to this humid day the light breezes starts wheezing playing and rustling the dry leaves. It soothes my tear stained face. Though the leaves and the li'll creatures still make some noises, silence shakes hands with me and I sigh in satisfaction to finally have made friends with what they call khamoshiyaa'. I close my eyes leaning to the nearby wall seeking support as my mind takes me on an another ride of his memory.
My heart knew no bounds as that much excited I was. The reason being I was asked to go to his mom and ask for the contact number of his aunt. I know I wasn't that excited to meet aunty as she's one of the nicest and kindest lady...but the excitement was him. The thought of seeing him accelerated my heart beats and made me nervous too. God knows how many times I've brushed my hairs straight that day! My steps were so bouncy and happy when I headed towards his home. As the distance got decreased my pace slowed as my heart thumped against my chest. My palms had become sweaty as the nervousness kicked in. I breathed and finally opened the door. There he was standing right in front of me smiling that dimpled smile.
"hey" I'd whispered smiling hesitantly trying to cool down the heat which threatened to rise in my cheeks.
"hey ridhima" he'd said with such an intensity that I couldn't have broken our eye lock. My name uttered from his mouth, in his voice was the best thing happened to me and even the bestest was me falling in love with him.
"kuch kaam tha?" I was jerked back to present when I heard him asking something.
"huh...uh haan wo tumhari bua ka contact number chaiyee tha" I fumbled in the web of words as he bore his eyes in mine
I didn't know why he'd smiled at me so widely...maybe at my innocence.
Next I remember is him speaking the numbers and I penning it down at the little piece of paper I'd taken with me. After writing I gazed at him and he caught my gaze arching his eyebrows. I gulped and had looked down when he asked me
"any thing else I can help u with?"
I dug my teeth in the lower lip and shook my head when sensing my hesitation he took the paper slip from my hand and also the pen I was writing with. His thumb had grazed my soft skin sending shivers down my spine as I stared down blushing already. He made my toes curl that day and my heart pounded furiously. When I glanced up he was writing something and I widened my eye in surprise as he completed penning down another number.
He'd given me back the chit and smiled in the most kindest way I've witnessed.
"won't u call me?" he's asked whispering and I couldn't help but nod so happily. He has given me his number. That day is still in my favourite list confined to be there. That day I have felt these sparks of attraction growing within me. That day a hope was born that that might be the new beginning of the love story I had. If only I knew those hopes would be crashing down like a thunder. THUNDER
I jerk back to present as the loud thunder breaks my train of thoughts. I glance up at the red night sky and in no time the rain starts pouring. I rush to close the window as my eyes dart to some wet drops of rain on my table's surface. How happy must be the creatures for the relief has been provided to them via these rains. I could hear the merriness of my mom as she might have came upstairs to enjoy the rains. Once I was just like my mom...no matter how late it must be ...if it rains the terrace used to scream my name...wanting my presence. But now I was not living at all...i was surviving without him. Getting wet into the pouring rain doesn't give me solace and peace...for me rain is the synonym of romance and in my life it has no place...I'm not that ridhima anymore who used to fantasize dancing in the rains. I switch on the lamp again and sit on my bed hugging my pillow. I start to hyperventilate as I remember the worst day of my life which opened the gates for many more worst days to come. The day I called him up.
I wasn't sure when should I call him up and I didn't have anything to say to him honestly. So I didn't call him for a week or two when he's given me his number. Many a times I would just hit the call button and before it even starts ringing I would cut it. "Damn me if I didn't call him today" I'd given myself an ultimatum exactly one month after I met him.
My exams were over and I was planning to come back to Mumbai ...to my home and this was the good news I thought of giving him...so that we could meet once more and maybe many more times...who knew I would receive a shocking news myself! Surfing through my cell contacts I hit the call button after much of a battle of my thoughts. My heart beats had raced eager to hear his voice...to talk to him after so long. I waited and waited but he didn't pick it up. Cutting the call I'd frowned and again tried his number. The drowning feeling engulfing me I'd counted the number of rings trying to not let my mind wander about wrong assumptions. On exactly 7th ring I heard someone's broken voice asking who was I calling. It was a girl's voice. I'd guessed maybe it was his sister but I was confused as to why was she sniffing!
" mini mai ridhima bol rahi hu...armaan se baat ho sakti he?"
That sobbing I still remember...that sobbing of his li'll sister had wrecked my heart...that pain in her voice when she'd whispered " kabhi nahi" was shocking enough for me. Her voice has withered something deep inside me making me anxious. I didn't realized when did she cut the call for I sat there numb...
The silence all around surrounding me...my tears have given a trail on my cheeks as they flowed uncontrollably and the realization dawned on me...that I have lost him...forever.
A scream echoes in my room as I try to clear my blurred vision. The pain inside my heart grows and grows suffocating meand making me cry in despair. His memories if made me smile sadly...they also made me cry a lot...to cope up with them I tried many techniques but failed miserably. Outside the creatures rejoice and inside my heart collapses...for once I think it has stopped beating as I try hard to breath but then a beat in a while confirm me that I'm still surviving. Though one thing is common and that is outside the rain pours down...inside there's a storm in my head and it rains on my bed. i glance towards my diary. I move towards my table and sits down at the chair. Gripping the pen with my trembling fingers I start writing. The continuous coughs follow as I continue to write. i drink water in between as my condition worsen a bit. But that didn't stop me from writing. Finally done with what I wrote I read it twice in between my growing coughs. The asthama is getting the worst out of me but still I read it one more time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tere jaane se sab kuch niras ho chukka he...
Koshishe kiya karti he ye hawaye kuch baya karne ko...
Nasamajhi, mai ek nadaan hu,
Tabhi to aaj ye likhne ki wajah tu he.
Tu chala gaya maano sab choot gaya...
Pehle ki tarah wo sukoon gayab he...
Ek jharoka he jo intezaar me he betha
Kahi milenge zarur yahi he dil kehta...
Naa jaane tere dil me meri kya pehchaan thi?
Bas itna jaanti hu tere saaye se bhi mohabbat kar chuki hu...
Ajeez pal diye tune mujhe uphaar me
Zindagi kya kabhi aur khoobsurat ho sakti thi?
Na jaane mujhe kyu yakeen ho chala he
Mera accha samay anayaas hi chalte chalte humari mulakaat fir se mukkamal hone dega.
Mera khuda mujhe tujhse zaroor milayega...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I admire my work as I sit smiling at the diary.I know I'm ailing and that I don't have much time to survive anymore. And that is where my happiness lies. Coz leaving this world would let me live somewhere up in heaven...and I am so sure of living up there after I die coz I would be soon joining him. My love story will continue forever and ever. I might not be having enough words to describe my plight but this night my sparks of attraction would give birth to a poem. For this is said rightly
"when love happens...everybody becomes a poet."
The lamp bulb flickers on my face giving out a golden glow to me and for the first time my solemn smile reaches the depths of my eyes...for I am happy to die...despite of the coughs getting harder...I feel numb and a sinking feeling hugs me. The lamp is still flickering...the rain's frequency also varies against my window as I feel my heart collapsing...there I lay in peace whispering an inaudible song of my heart "I love you armaan...i'm coming...i'm coming..."
Outside the rain spats harshly and the lamp lights up still.the roar of the thunder again breaks out loud decreasing the heavy rain to gentle tip-tip. And the darkness follows as the lamp light dies. In the silence of the room a heart beat is heard...one two...________________.
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thanku so much for reading🤗
i only added a part of my poem which was fitting here. to read full poem click here
Dil ki yeh dastaan kuch ankahi si 😃
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