Priorities post marriage

Hi All,

I agree with you totally. I do not think she is being unreasonable wanting to be a priority in his life. They way she went about it was very wrong. Bushan never quite understood Shreya. He always expected her to just fall in line and fit in. Something for obvious reasons she could not do and when she thought about just them he called her selfish.  She felt she had to compete with his family for attention and in the beginning of their marriage I always felt he was too hard on her. He was not very patient with her. Shreya's mother is what brought about her downfall. Instead of telling her daughter to be patient and try to learn how the family operates etc, she tells her they are all trying to take everything from Bushan. So Shreya gets it in her head that she is helping Bushan get his rights. something her mother told her was the right thing to do.Unfortunately I am not sure if her character can be redeemed anymore.

Originally posted by: darrish

I agree with you totally. I do not think she is being unreasonable wanting to be a priority in his life. They way she went about it was very wrong. Bushan never quite understood Shreya. He always expected her to just fall in line and fit in. Something for obvious reasons she could not do and when she thought about just them he called her selfish.  She felt she had to compete with his family for attention and in the beginning of their marriage I always felt he was too hard on her. He was not very patient with her. Shreya's mother is what brought about her downfall. Instead of telling her daughter to be patient and try to learn how the family operates etc, she tells her they are all trying to take everything from Bushan. So Shreya gets it in her head that she is helping Bushan get his rights. something her mother told her was the right thing to do.Unfortunately I am not sure if her character can be redeemed anymore.

[/QUOTE] Edited by smileeee - 8 years ago

You are right...what Shreya was expecting...quite justified knowing her circumstances, to me Bhushan failed to balance between family and wife.

Originally posted by: skar1984

Hi All,

In light of Shreya being exposed I wanted to start a discussion over a point she brings up about wanting to be the most important person in Bhushan's life.

Please note - I absolutely detest the character Shreya. I think she's manipulative, selfish and downright psychotic. This discussion isn't about justifying Shreya's deeds in any way - but it is about a point her character raises. 

Bhushan comes from a very tight knit joint family structure. His family is his life, they all share a deep bond who's foundation lies in friendship/kinship. There is no concept of me - its us.

Shreya on the other hand was shown to come from a nuclear family - she's an only child, she is used to getting her way and not sharing. 

This is fundamentally a mis-match. It would have made for a great story with out all the negativity to see this mis-match being handled with sensitivity and maturity to see the different challenges both parties face when adjusting to each other. This was partly done initially when for example Shreya takes lunch just for Bhushan when she goes to meet him at the shop. It's clear that it didn't occur to her to think of taking lunch for everyone - primarily coz she's never had to think about so many people at one time. 

In today's episode she tries to justify her actions by saying she did it out of love, out of the desire to be his number one priority etc. I want to discuss this part. 

Every relationship is special and has its own place in a person's life. When someone from a joint family structure marries someone (man marrying woman) regardless of whether the woman does or does not come from a similar family structure - is it unreasonable for her to want to be a priority in her husband's life? 

She's coming to his household, living with his family - leaving her old life behind - obviously some time and understanding is needed to adjust and space too as the relationship is still new for the newly weds - they need time to figure out their equation.

Is it reasonable to tell the new wife that she has to share number 1 with everyone else or worse she can't be number 1?

I personally think in such a scenario we need a very emotionally stable/mature husband. Who understands the needs of his wife, understands his duty to make her feel loved, secure and comfortable and likewise maintain a balance between all family members. He needs to be able to put his foot down if members get too invasive, likewise he also needs to explain to his wife the dynamic of their household while maintaining her dignity and self respect. He can't expect her to heed to everything his family says blindly and likewise he can't blindly support his wife regardless of how unreasonable her demands are. 

Those are my thoughts - what do you guys think?

Bushan will never be a fav character of mine. He's too autocratic. However, I agree with him. What Shreya did has nothing to do with love, wanting to be his priority, etc. She's mean and selfish. How is stealing the family jewels, wanting to separate him from his family, trying to kill Dadi be love or wanting the best for him? I have no sympathy for her.