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IN THE VALLEY OF HEART
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
And rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
The world is too full to talk about." -Rumi
And rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
The world is too full to talk about." -Rumi
I laid on bed but usual comfort was missing, I was losing myself in guilt of what did today. But still whenever that incident flash in my mind I feel same gust of anger within me. That bloody moiez how could he even thought of proposing farah, my wife farah, mine farah. Sight of when he was about to make her accept that ring I killed him mentally for thousands of times. Not that I am not able to kill him physically but I am not raised in that way. I am losing my control over my life I am burden with responsibility. Wali suhaib khan was not same anymore I am grown up too soon. So soon that even I didn't realize it. But the responsibilities never troubled me somehow because deep down I always found that baba is with me, he is guiding my every step but I guess today I lost him again. For the way I behave with farah he could have never forgiven me, he loved her so much more than us. This is girl who was over my mind these days, since day baba told showing her picture that she will be my bride. I was very young at that time to understand this but for last five year I felt like I am committed to her forever, she belongs to me naturally. I know she was not ready for Nikaah but still it happened, I could've given her all the time in life to coming to me. Wait of lifetime big words to say but like baba used to say you never force someone you love. And I love her, everything about her. But she choose to betray me for that moiez. She want moiez as her life partner. This is never going to happen she is too nave to understand his plan. I can never failed baba and bade papa. I still remember on the day of nikaah bade papa told me to take care of her, to protect her from every bad in this world and I will do the same I will fight with her for herself. I tried convincing myself but the way I treated her today and wounded her with poisoned words are still not justified. I felt suffocated in my room so I decided to take a walk outside to calm my inner turmoil. I took my shawl and slide on slipper, hoping to find some peace outside.
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Wali Suhaib khan I hate him, I hate very thing about him. How dare he insult me like that I am not his zamin which he owe. Whole restaurant was staring at me when he humiliated me. I have no control what so ever in my life as much I try to gather it, it complicates more. For five year I spend every minute to please someone. It's like everyone but me taking decision of my life. No one ever asked me what I really wanted. And I can't share my feeling with anyone. I often thinks that I lost my mama the same day I lost my baba. She was not same one whom I used to remember as child. She changed not only her but everyone around me changed and but remained same old farah. It was my passion to be a doctor but last few day everything seems worthless. My life just stopped and I see no way ahead. Everyone who claims to love want something in return. It's not what I think is love and that's why I miss my baba. He loved me like no one, he used to know me more than myself. I hesitatingly admit I trusted him more than mama. And that why I I agreed for Nikaah with Wali. But still think what got into him to marry his daughter at that young age. Wali I never felt anything about him but i knew baba wants best for me. And all got is pain, tears and broken relation. I was happy in my little family so this development of new relation. I kept my quite when wali kept badmouthing me he even called me low character. I have seen this new side of him today, this outburst from him was kind of frighten me and I am not strong as tried to pretend with him. Besides for some reason I couldn't meet his eyes. I want to hide somewhere. That is because I owe him this fortune which my mama is spending blindly. Or maybe? This may be scares me. I was doubting my decision going with moiez I mean this newly made relationship with him, arrh it's happening to fast? Wali was not my choice but Moiez is also not my choice? And if wali is blamed for claiming me then moiez should be blamed also. But why I am comparing them. They both declared their love for me but I kind of have no right to take decision. This is frustrating o so frustrating! So I closed the topic in mind and tried concentrating my mind human anatomy.
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Here night slowly disappear and day claimed its right. But for few hearts it was still solitary night. Wali was awake whole night guilt and regret clouded him. He was standing and watching sun coming up his favorite place in whole haveli the one where he and his baba used to spend I lot of time maybe now he can feel his presence. Wali aaj itni subah uth gaye' agha jaan said. Wali wiped his face with his hand and walked up to him. Agha jaan aap yaha' he asked, he knew agha jaan's health was not fine these days because of what happened few days before. He just laughed at wali's concern. Jawab mein sawal our tumhari ankhe itni suji huyi lag hai raat ko soye nahi kya?' agha jaan knows that wali never complain but he was having responsibilities which are really hard at his age. woh agha jaan bus yuhi nind nahi aa rahi thi' he lied. jhooth bolna nahi ata tumhe, suhaib bhi jhooth nahi bol pata tha. Hum dost hain na toh apne dost ko bhi nahi bologe apni pareshani.' He knew agha jaan was right he can help him in this clueless situation. He narrated him the incident as it is and noticed his creased forehead. boliye agha jaan kya karu mein uss ke beloved cousin ke sath nahi dekh sakta mein usse, our uss ko meri koi baat samaj hi nahi aati.' Wali asked him with a plea. wali woh tumhari bibi hone se pehle tumhari cousin hai, mere behroze ki beti hi hai our agar koi uss se iss tarha se baat karega to mein usse chodunga nahi. Par mein ye bhi janta hu ki tum bhi apni iss harkat se khush nahi ho, apni galti ka ahsaas hai tumhe. Jao uss se baat karo.' He said placing his palm on wali's shoulder, wali took his hand in his. agha jaan mein aap ki respect karta hu par mein uss ki shakal bhi nahi dekhna chahta. Nafrat karta hu farah se mein.' issi liye usse hurt karne par raat nind ayi tumhe, ye toh irrational baat hai miya, meri baat mano isse apni ego ka maumala mat banao. Warna sari umar nikal jayegi rishte phir se jodte. Jo galti maine ki hai woh mat dohrana.' Wali noticed aghajaan's tears which he was trying to hide. So he nodded his head in agreement and decide to meet farah.
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Farah was getting ready for collage when ruhi again demanded check for her bhai and bhabhi. Wali's words her just using agha jaan for his fortune echoed in her ear. And she flatly says know ruhi again try to blackmail her emotionally but today nothing seems to be working. This time she just walked out from her house ruhi tried stopping her and farah completely ignore her. She told driver to take her to collage, throughout her journey she was thinking about wali's comment about her being so low character. And with each passing moment she was remembering all her interactions with wali. In her mind she determine something. Finally reached the collage and got involved in her daily routine without giving any second thoughts to any of her personal. During her practical her phone beeped it was message from moiez that he was standing outside her collage and want to talk to her. She completely ignore that text and continue her work. But this time her phone rings and she excuse herself from class to meet him. While walking out she gathered all her courage and clear this problem for once and all. Moiez saw her of stair case and strides towards her. Farah are you ok? Mein subah tumhare ghar aya tha par phupphi ne bataya ki tum ghar pe nahi yaha collage mein ho. And I so worried for you ki mujh se raha nahi gaya our mein yaha aa gaya. I know jamindaar ke bacche ne mujhe bacche ne tumhari insult ki uss ko mein dekh lunga don't worry.' He keep on talking but farah maintain her silence and listen to his blabbering. farah say something nahi toh hum aisa karte kahi lunch karne chalet hai. You will feel better after that.' And he hold her hand.
Farah angrily pulls out her hand from his grip. Look moiez you are my cousin and mein iss rishte ko badalna nahi chahti. Mama and mamu jo faisala lenge who baad ki baat hai lekin now tum mere sath waisa hi behavior rakhana jaisa log normally rakhte hai. Ye mat bhulna that I am married OK' she talking all her integrity and she found her lost strength. Tum wali ke nikaah mein ho ye tumhe qubool kab se farah? Ek raat mein itni badal gayi tumhari thinking? Our mein jo tumse mohobbat karta hu tumhari care karta hu uss ka kya haan?' now he grabbed and shakes her with shoulder. Farah push him away and said behave yourself moiez. You can't change the fact that I am married to wali. Main uss ke sath nahi to iss ka matlab ye nahi maine tumhe apna husband qubool kar liya hai. Agar tum mein itni himmat hoti toh tum kal usse meri insult karne nahi dete. Whatever equation we have it's only between him and me. Our ek baat sunn lo mein tumse mohobbat nahi karti iss liye apni ye care apne pass rakho. Mein farah behroze khan hoon I can handle myself. Ok now leave mein yaha our drama nahi chahti.' And she turned walked away coldly without looking back. A small smiled played on her lips, she took first step towards being free. She was not someone's toy or pawn anymore, from now she took control of her own life and choose to fight her own battle. She never thought she can this sharp but she too has jamindari blood in her, just like her father.
Wali who watched this scene from his car sprung out walk up to moiez and sarcastically said bade dheet ho yaar itni insult ke baad bhi yahi khade ho.' Moiez clutched his wrist in anger and said ye sab tumhari waje se huwa hai wali, you will pay for this' wali just crossed his arm of chest just remember to whom you are talking. Apni bhalai chahte ho toh farah se dur raho. Maine kal bhi kaha tha aaj phir se kehta hu that woh meri bibi hai, our mein apni bibi ke sath batamizi bardasht nahi karunga.' Moiez walk out from site without uttering a single word. Wali too get in his car he was feeling relief now farah didn't betray him. Today she proved that she and she only has quality to be his wife. He thanked his father for choosing right girl for him. She acted just like bade papa same anger which agha jaan used describe. He will never doubt his decision to will her heart. He know they both need to cross long way across but he will do anything for his ladaka sherni.
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Wali Suhaib khan I hate him, I hate very thing about him. How dare he insult me like that I am not his zamin which he owe. Whole restaurant was staring at me when he humiliated me. I have no control what so ever in my life as much I try to gather it, it complicates more. For five year I spend every minute to please someone. It's like everyone but me taking decision of my life. No one ever asked me what I really wanted. And I can't share my feeling with anyone. I often thinks that I lost my mama the same day I lost my baba. She was not same one whom I used to remember as child. She changed not only her but everyone around me changed and but remained same old farah. It was my passion to be a doctor but last few day everything seems worthless. My life just stopped and I see no way ahead. Everyone who claims to love want something in return. It's not what I think is love and that's why I miss my baba. He loved me like no one, he used to know me more than myself. I hesitatingly admit I trusted him more than mama. And that why I I agreed for Nikaah with Wali. But still think what got into him to marry his daughter at that young age. Wali I never felt anything about him but i knew baba wants best for me. And all got is pain, tears and broken relation. I was happy in my little family so this development of new relation. I kept my quite when wali kept badmouthing me he even called me low character. I have seen this new side of him today, this outburst from him was kind of frighten me and I am not strong as tried to pretend with him. Besides for some reason I couldn't meet his eyes. I want to hide somewhere. That is because I owe him this fortune which my mama is spending blindly. Or maybe? This may be scares me. I was doubting my decision going with moiez I mean this newly made relationship with him, arrh it's happening to fast? Wali was not my choice but Moiez is also not my choice? And if wali is blamed for claiming me then moiez should be blamed also. But why I am comparing them. They both declared their love for me but I kind of have no right to take decision. This is frustrating o so frustrating! So I closed the topic in mind and tried concentrating my mind human anatomy.
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Here night slowly disappear and day claimed its right. But for few hearts it was still solitary night. Wali was awake whole night guilt and regret clouded him. He was standing and watching sun coming up his favorite place in whole haveli the one where he and his baba used to spend I lot of time maybe now he can feel his presence. Wali aaj itni subah uth gaye' agha jaan said. Wali wiped his face with his hand and walked up to him. Agha jaan aap yaha' he asked, he knew agha jaan's health was not fine these days because of what happened few days before. He just laughed at wali's concern. Jawab mein sawal our tumhari ankhe itni suji huyi lag hai raat ko soye nahi kya?' agha jaan knows that wali never complain but he was having responsibilities which are really hard at his age. woh agha jaan bus yuhi nind nahi aa rahi thi' he lied. jhooth bolna nahi ata tumhe, suhaib bhi jhooth nahi bol pata tha. Hum dost hain na toh apne dost ko bhi nahi bologe apni pareshani.' He knew agha jaan was right he can help him in this clueless situation. He narrated him the incident as it is and noticed his creased forehead. boliye agha jaan kya karu mein uss ke beloved cousin ke sath nahi dekh sakta mein usse, our uss ko meri koi baat samaj hi nahi aati.' Wali asked him with a plea. wali woh tumhari bibi hone se pehle tumhari cousin hai, mere behroze ki beti hi hai our agar koi uss se iss tarha se baat karega to mein usse chodunga nahi. Par mein ye bhi janta hu ki tum bhi apni iss harkat se khush nahi ho, apni galti ka ahsaas hai tumhe. Jao uss se baat karo.' He said placing his palm on wali's shoulder, wali took his hand in his. agha jaan mein aap ki respect karta hu par mein uss ki shakal bhi nahi dekhna chahta. Nafrat karta hu farah se mein.' issi liye usse hurt karne par raat nind ayi tumhe, ye toh irrational baat hai miya, meri baat mano isse apni ego ka maumala mat banao. Warna sari umar nikal jayegi rishte phir se jodte. Jo galti maine ki hai woh mat dohrana.' Wali noticed aghajaan's tears which he was trying to hide. So he nodded his head in agreement and decide to meet farah.
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Farah was getting ready for collage when ruhi again demanded check for her bhai and bhabhi. Wali's words her just using agha jaan for his fortune echoed in her ear. And she flatly says know ruhi again try to blackmail her emotionally but today nothing seems to be working. This time she just walked out from her house ruhi tried stopping her and farah completely ignore her. She told driver to take her to collage, throughout her journey she was thinking about wali's comment about her being so low character. And with each passing moment she was remembering all her interactions with wali. In her mind she determine something. Finally reached the collage and got involved in her daily routine without giving any second thoughts to any of her personal. During her practical her phone beeped it was message from moiez that he was standing outside her collage and want to talk to her. She completely ignore that text and continue her work. But this time her phone rings and she excuse herself from class to meet him. While walking out she gathered all her courage and clear this problem for once and all. Moiez saw her of stair case and strides towards her. Farah are you ok? Mein subah tumhare ghar aya tha par phupphi ne bataya ki tum ghar pe nahi yaha collage mein ho. And I so worried for you ki mujh se raha nahi gaya our mein yaha aa gaya. I know jamindaar ke bacche ne mujhe bacche ne tumhari insult ki uss ko mein dekh lunga don't worry.' He keep on talking but farah maintain her silence and listen to his blabbering. farah say something nahi toh hum aisa karte kahi lunch karne chalet hai. You will feel better after that.' And he hold her hand.
Farah angrily pulls out her hand from his grip. Look moiez you are my cousin and mein iss rishte ko badalna nahi chahti. Mama and mamu jo faisala lenge who baad ki baat hai lekin now tum mere sath waisa hi behavior rakhana jaisa log normally rakhte hai. Ye mat bhulna that I am married OK' she talking all her integrity and she found her lost strength. Tum wali ke nikaah mein ho ye tumhe qubool kab se farah? Ek raat mein itni badal gayi tumhari thinking? Our mein jo tumse mohobbat karta hu tumhari care karta hu uss ka kya haan?' now he grabbed and shakes her with shoulder. Farah push him away and said behave yourself moiez. You can't change the fact that I am married to wali. Main uss ke sath nahi to iss ka matlab ye nahi maine tumhe apna husband qubool kar liya hai. Agar tum mein itni himmat hoti toh tum kal usse meri insult karne nahi dete. Whatever equation we have it's only between him and me. Our ek baat sunn lo mein tumse mohobbat nahi karti iss liye apni ye care apne pass rakho. Mein farah behroze khan hoon I can handle myself. Ok now leave mein yaha our drama nahi chahti.' And she turned walked away coldly without looking back. A small smiled played on her lips, she took first step towards being free. She was not someone's toy or pawn anymore, from now she took control of her own life and choose to fight her own battle. She never thought she can this sharp but she too has jamindari blood in her, just like her father.
Wali who watched this scene from his car sprung out walk up to moiez and sarcastically said bade dheet ho yaar itni insult ke baad bhi yahi khade ho.' Moiez clutched his wrist in anger and said ye sab tumhari waje se huwa hai wali, you will pay for this' wali just crossed his arm of chest just remember to whom you are talking. Apni bhalai chahte ho toh farah se dur raho. Maine kal bhi kaha tha aaj phir se kehta hu that woh meri bibi hai, our mein apni bibi ke sath batamizi bardasht nahi karunga.' Moiez walk out from site without uttering a single word. Wali too get in his car he was feeling relief now farah didn't betray him. Today she proved that she and she only has quality to be his wife. He thanked his father for choosing right girl for him. She acted just like bade papa same anger which agha jaan used describe. He will never doubt his decision to will her heart. He know they both need to cross long way across but he will do anything for his ladaka sherni.
Hey guys some of you may know me I am Dhani. I Love love wali-farah and Osman-maya. so I have something about last episode hope you will enjoy reading it. please read, like and comment. sorry for typo and bad hindi😆
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