Emotional abuse, defined as "soul murder" (Garbarino, Guttman & Seeley, 1987), consists of recurrent parental critical attacks, rejection, devaluation, contempt and ignoring the child, all of which undermine the child's emerging identity. The parents preserve their harsh control over the humiliated child by presenting their critical and devaluing attacks as caring and protecting the child's welfare (Thompson & Kaplan, 1996).
Self esteem and development of immature defence mechanisms are the two affected outcomes. Emotional neglect or abuse leads to narcissistic damage to a child's personality and detrimental to development of self. If this begins early then kids tend to overuse the id to counteract anxiety which then leads to egotistical distortion of personality. Often taking the role of protectors and indulging the "invincible" persona to douse their inner conflict of immature defence mechanisms.
Manik's journey up till now has showcased so much of his id because his Ego was spent in rationalising his neglect. Until Nandu entered the picture,she unwittingly became his Ego mediating between his id and super-ego and that's why they have this connection. The outside world can conjecture but will never be able to truly understand their connection. It's deep and basic (bushy you reading?). She challenges him, questions his impulsive decisions, calms him and is always a mediator.
His negative self image,the whole "I'm not good I like to be bad" is the most moving thing he has said. This projection is a direct result of feeling very deeply as undeserving of love to cope with parental neglect. I think that's the reason he finds it easiest to be so harsh with his mother and Nandu in contrast to his interaction with his friends.
The mind is beautiful for it craves balance,the endorphins,the inhibitory neurotransmitters. It knows what it needs to protect itself unlike the body which is Bacchanalian (Adhi couldn't resist). The inference being Manik is actually detoxing right now as a result of Nandus toxicity. Much like how a caffeine addict would feel once they start drinking antioxidant laden beverages. Our Nandu is his spinach and carrot smoothie with a dash of jaggery.
But saying that I'm really worried about Manik as he is now at the threshold of transitioning slowly from a boy to a man. If he continues his maladaptive behaviour it is going to impact his adult psychopathology. I briefly wanted to discuss his coping mechanisms. Ever since the dreadful Musicana week it has become painfully obvious that his defence mechanism is extremely immature and has been shaped by the very aggressive interaction between his mother and him.
Defence mechanisms are classified based on adaptive ness and maturity. Immature defence mechanisms incorporate projection,splitting,acting out,denial of external reality. This is Manik in a nutshell to me especially when he faces rejection,fear or anxiety.
On the other hand Cabir is such a beautifully written character and you can see he uses Mature defence mechanisms. This is seen with adaptive kids as a result of balanced parenting and they use sublimation,humor,suppression and altruism. Bira is awesome sauce.
I quickly want to mention Mukthi,because this girl really defines neurotic defence mechanism. She uses displacement,reaction formation,repression and isolation. Point in case being her obsession to a certain extent with Harshad.
I really hope we are able to see Manik metamorphose into a well adapted and psychologically stable person. It will be refreshing and necessary to close the loop.
My girls come back. Miss you all
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