Vidushi OS - Her True Self

Hello! 

Before you read this let me just point out that this was my break from studying and my thoughts were completely out of order. I started writing and half way through questioned where the hell was I going with this story if it is really out of place...I apologize. Though I hope its alright. 😆

"HER TRUE SELF" 

She watched Sanyukta and Randhir enter the classroom hand in hand and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The famous couple of FITE had caused her peers to start whispering awws and making remarks about their unconditional love for one another. Unconditional, she scoffed. Not once had she received anything without a condition.

She peeked to the side and saw Parth smiling sweetly to the couple and making small talk with Sanyukta. Sanyukta being the sweet one, replied back just as kindly. Sweet. Kind. The words haunted her. When had it been the last time that she had been generous and caring to anyone?

Parth. She had been sweet, kind to him and loved him unconditionally. Loved? She still loves him, it's not a feeling of the past but the present and she knows it will remain for the future as well. However, Parth was someone she dearly loved, when did she do something nice for anyone else?

She tried to push the thought away as the class progressed. Why was she thinking about such things all of a sudden? She didn't give a damn about others after all. She wasn't Sanyukta the great, trying to fix and help everyone. Then why were the words coming back to her every few minutes?

"Randhir you're misunderstanding me! I didn't think..." She heard Sanyukta explain. She gave a sad smirk, misunderstood is an understatement for her. Sanyukta was not misunderstood, she was. Her roommate had a loving boyfriend, understanding friends and a mentor that believed in her with his eyes closed. She, she had no friends, a mentor that found her as useless as the garbage can in the hallway and she definitely did not have a boyfriend. She tried explaining to the one person that mattered the most but even he judged and retaliated saying she was "fake". Fake? Was she fake or was she brutally honest? Was she putting up a mask? Yes she was. Years of being hurt by her parents and ex husband had left her with no choice but to put up a mask. Masks helped her hide, hide from the ones that could potentially hurt her. But how does one hide from themselves? How does one get away from the pain they put upon themselves? She didn't have an answer for that.

She stumbled back as Yoyo bumped into her after getting shoved by Jiggy. "Kaustuki will never fall for an idiot like you," she heard Jiggy yell loudly at Yoyo. The ever-green, jolly Yoyo had a frown on his face. Jiggy had departed but his one sentence had left worry lines on the face of Yoyo. "Forget about him Yoyo... here finish your sandwich." Yoyo shook his head as if shaking an animate object off of him and thanked her. She smiled. The worry lines were gone, the cheerful (and slightly annoying) nature was back.

"See, you could be nice sometimes too Vidushi." Parth. The man did not leave her side the whole month after getting to know about her divorce. He tried to make small talk, tried to give her advice. Advice. When was the last time she took advice from anyone? She groaned, she didn't need advice, she had gone through life perfectly fine without it.

He once more tried to talk. Tried to get her to react but she politely excused herself, she felt his eyes making holes on her back as she walked out. Ironic how when she annoyed him by constantly talking he told her to shut it and go away, but now the silence was drawing him towards her. One may ask why but she didn't know. He had told her he didn't feel pity or sympathy but his past behaviour didn't make her believe it. He didn't know her story and neither did he fall head over heel for her, so why the sudden change in behaviour? Was it just his kind, sweet, polite nature again? Or was he helping her out of humanity. She once again pondered, had she ever been humane?

She hadn't. Not to Sanyukta, not to Randhir, not to any student in FITE. She had tried to lock her roommate in a place where she could have died. She had made remarks about everyone, spewing out the years of hatred she kept in her heart. Hatred. It had consumed her. It had made her actions and words bitter. They weren't a representation of her, no, they were a representation of her emotions. Her desperate need to win. Her desperate desire to be accepted (even if she denied it). However, when those needs and desires couldn't be fulfilled even with a lot of trying, her mind was filled with anger and jealousy. The anger and jealousy she realised led to hatred. Hatred for all those who had things she didn't, hatred for all those who were more privileged. Hatred for her potential friends and most of all hatred towards her life.

At that moment she had felt her questions coming together and her answer emerging.

Over the course of a few months her life had changed. She had limited but civil conversations with her peers. Problems were solved between her and her ex husband and his family, there were no more disturbing calls interrupting her sleep in the middle of the night. She had extended a hand of friendship towards Randhir and Sanyukta but she didn't hesitate to give her piece of mind when she felt they were going overboard. More than anyone else in the dream team she had become the most close to Randhir...there had been a few bumps in the road but she found a protective friend cum brother in him. What about the love of her life? Well she's kept a good distance from the love of her life, Parth. No, she didn't hate him or ignore him but she wanted a fresh start. She would wait for him to fall for her true self from a distance.

As she crept away to the field behind the girl's hostel she felt a hand grab hers. She instantly panicked and turned around, only to see him standing there with an aura of intensity in his body language.

"Parth." She said, questioning him silently of his presence beside her so late at night. "I have to say it today...or I will never be able to do it." He began hastily, his hands trembling around her wrist slightly showing nervousness. Her heart picked up its pace, something was sure to happen. And it did as the words left his mouth, "I love you. Will you give me the honour of being your boyfriend? For real this time without any conditions?" She nodded and engulfed him in her arms.

That one day of reflection and observation had helped her clear her questions. The words she pondered over gave her a vision on how she'd like to lead her life. In that moment Vidushi Kumar had learnt that she needed to be herself around her people. Her true self. Not the girl that was governed by hatred, jealousy and anger because truly that was not what defines the girl that is Vidushi Kumar. She was a homogenous mixture of many things, not just three emotions that clouded her soul. In reality her true self was a bit blunt, a bit honest, a bit stubborn, a bit loving, a bit sweet, a bit caring, a bit possessive, a bit idiotic, and a bit of HER. 

-Fin- 

Edited by Vikruti - 9 years ago

Hey Vikruti , I think you should take more breaks during your studying, coz the result is such a lovely piece of work!! This was absolutely beautiful!! I loved it. You don't need to apologise it went on smoothly , didn't think anything was out of place, simply loved all of it. 

Awww. 

Originally posted by: Vikruti

Just wanted to add a little disclaimer. I know I've commented on a few stories, and on other's I've res-ed saying I'll comment after my exams. I'm not playing favourites or anything like that. Some stories are shorter than others and therefore they don't take as much time. That's why I've res-ed on particular stories, because they're quite long and I don't have the time to comment now. I will get around to commenting though so please bear with me.

Also, sorry for writing this here Vikruti :P I just wanted to let people know.

Hello! 

Before you read this let me just point out that this was my break from studying and my thoughts were completely out of order. I started writing and half way through questioned where the hell was I going with this story if it is really out of place...I apologize. Though I hope its alright. 😆

"HER TRUE SELF" 

The title itself sounds very interesting :D I'm sure the OS will be too!

She watched Sanyukta and Randhir enter the classroom hand in hand and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The famous couple of FITE had caused her peers to start whispering awws and making remarks about their unconditional love for one another. Unconditional, she scoffed. Not once had she received anything without a condition. I really like that last line of yours, about receiving things with conditions. People often misunderstand Vidushi, but that last lines explains why she is the way she is perfectly.

She peeked to the side and saw Parth smiling sweetly to the couple and making small talk with Sanyukta. Sanyukta being the sweet one, replied back just as kindly. Sweet. Kind. The words haunted her. When had it been the last time that she had been generous and caring to anyone? "The words haunted her" I LOVE that! You showed the deepness of her pair so perfectly. How she's haunted by something that seems so harmless. And your last sentence is amazing. It shows how Vidushi's own character haunts her. It shows that she actually feels bad for the way she acts, and isn't completely heartless (despite what people may think).

Parth. She had been sweet, kind to him and loved him unconditionally. True, I've never seen a love more unconditional that Vidushi's. She loved him despite all the harsh treatment he gave her. Loved? She still loves him, it's not a feeling of the past but the present and she knows it will remain for the future as well. I like the past, present future comparison. And also the way you described Vidushi's love as eternal. However, Parth was someone she dearly loved, when did she do something nice for anyone else? Again, I love that she's feeling guilty about her actions. She's becoming more and more "nice" by the second.

She tried to push the thought away as the class progressed. Why was she thinking about such things all of a sudden? She didn't give a damn about others after all. She wasn't Sanyukta the great, trying to fix and help everyone. Then why were the words coming back to her every few minutes? Because she's finally found a place where she wants to belong. I like how you didn't write it like that, but it's subtly mentioned anyways. Also, I love "Sanyukta the great" 😆 It's like a little taunt in between all the emotional parts.

"Randhir you're misunderstanding me! I didn't think..." She heard Sanyukta explain. She gave a sad smirk, misunderstood is an understatement for her. Oh this is GOLD! Misunderstood describes her perfectly. No one knows he back story, yet they all judge her without understanding her fully. Sanyukta was not misunderstood, she was. Her roommate had a loving boyfriend, understanding friends and a mentor that believed in her with his eyes closed. I've kind of always disliked Vardhan's "favoritism" towards Sanyukta. I think he has the ability to change Vidushi too, if he tried. She, she had no friends, a mentor that found her as useless as the garbage can in the hallway and she definitely did not have a boyfriend. 😭 As sad as that it, it's perfectly true. Vidushi is such an undermined character on the show :( She tried explaining to the one person that mattered the most but even he judged and retaliated saying she was "fake". I sometimes hate Parth 😡 Fake? Was she fake or was she brutally honest? Ohhh deep thought there. Was she putting up a mask? Yes she was. Years of being hurt by her parents and ex husband had left her with no choice but to put up a mask. Masks helped her hide, hide from the ones that could potentially hurt her. I like your analysis of her "mask". A lot of people have written about it, but yours is one of my favourite descriptions. But how does one hide from themselves? How does one get away from the pain they put upon themselves? She didn't have an answer for that. That. Was. Amazing. I'm being so honest here, those were some of the best lines in this OS (so far).

She stumbled back as Yoyo bumped into her after getting shoved by Jiggy. "Kaustuki will never fall for an idiot like you," she heard Jiggy yell loudly at Yoyo. The ever-green, jolly Yoyo had a frown on his face. Jiggy had departed but his one sentence had left worry lines on the face of Yoyo. "Forget about him Yoyo... here finish your sandwich." Yoyo shook his head as if shaking an animate object off of him and thanked her. She smiled. The worry lines were gone, the cheerful (and slightly annoying) nature was back. This was sooo cute! Vidushi helping YoYo, out of all people to notice his change in character, it was Vidushi. You've shown a gentler, softer side to her and I really like it.

"See, you could be nice sometimes too Vidushi." Parth. The man did not leave her side the whole month after getting to know about her divorce. He tried to make small talk, tried to give her advice. In a way it's sweet that Parth's not left her side and all. But at the same time, it's a bit annoying because he didn't care for her at all until he realised she had problems. Anyways, that's my problem with the show, not your OS :D Advice. When was the last time she took advice from anyone? She groaned, she didn't need advice, she had gone through life perfectly fine without it. That sounds exactly like something Vidushi would say.

He once more tried to talk. Tried to get her to react but she politely excused herself, she felt his eyes making holes on her back as she walked out. I really like the description of his eyes making holes in her back. Lovely choice of words. Ironic how when she annoyed him by constantly talking he told her to shut it and go away, but now the silence was drawing him towards her. Another of my favourite lines. It's the biggest truth of their current relationship... that he's drawn in by her silence. And amazing choice of words there. It sounds almost poetic 😊 One may ask why but she didn't know. He had told her he didn't feel pity or sympathy but his past behaviour didn't make her believe it. He didn't know her story and neither did he fall head over heel for her, so why the sudden change in behaviour? That's a question I'd like the answer to as well. Was it just his kind, sweet, polite nature again? Or was he helping her out of humanity. Hahah I like the reference back to that "helping out of humanity" scene. She once again pondered, had she ever been humane? That is such a deep question. Vidushi had always been humane, and the fact that she has to think about that makes me sad. She's judging her character based on other people's opinions :(

She hadn't. Not to Sanyukta, not to Randhir, not to any student in FITE. Aww that's a bit harsh na? She may not have been the nicest person, but she wasn't inhumane. But I like the guilt she's feeling here. You can see just how sorry she is for her actions from those first few words. She had tried to lock her roommate in a place where she could have died. She had made remarks about everyone, spewing out the years of hatred she kept in her heart. Hatred. It had consumed her. Love that line. Hatred consuming her... it's such a powerful image. It had made her actions and words bitter. They weren't a representation of her, no, they were a representation of her emotions. Again, amazing line. "Representation of her emotions" it sound so beautiful. Her desperate need to win. Her desperate desire to be accepted (even if she denied it). However, when those needs and desires couldn't be fulfilled even with a lot of trying, her mind was filled with anger and jealousy. I think you've analysed Vidushi right down to a T. It's like you know everything about her, all her inner emotions, why she acts the way she does. The anger and jealousy she realised led to hatred. Hatred for all those who had things she didn't, hatred for all those who were more privileged. Hatred for her potential friends and most of all hatred towards her life. I like that you said "potential friends" because that's what they are, even if Vidushi didn't see it herself.

At that moment she had felt her questions coming together and her answer emerging. Really, really liked this, especially the "answer emerging" bit. 

Over the course of a few months her life had changed. She had limited but civil conversations with her peers. Problems were solved between her and her ex husband and his family, there were no more disturbing calls interrupting her sleep in the middle of the night. She had extended a hand of friendship towards Randhir and Sanyukta but she didn't hesitate to give her piece of mind when she felt they were going overboard. I like that she's still the same old Vidushi; strong and confident and unafraid to give her opinions. But she's also changed herself for the better. More than anyone else in the dream team she had become the most close to Randhir...there had been a few bumps in the road but she found a protective friend cum brother in him. I LOVE this! I absolutely adore the Randhir-Vidushi friendship and I think they have the scope to become the most popular friendship on the show, if only CV's would give them a storyline. What about the love of her life? Well she's kept a good distance from the love of her life, Parth. No, she didn't hate him or ignore him but she wanted a fresh start. She would wait for him to fall for her true self from a distance. That last line is amazing. That line itself shows Vidushi's character growth from who she was before.

As she crept away to the field behind the girl's hostel she felt a hand grab hers. She instantly panicked and turned around, only to see him standing there with an aura of intensity in his body language. Ohhh I sense some Vidarth romance coming up. Also, the "aura of intensity" descriptions is super amazing. How do you even think of these lines? 😆

"Parth." She said, questioning him silently of his presence beside her so late at night. "I have to say it today...or I will never be able to do it." A confession?  He began hastily, his hands trembling around her wrist slightly showing nervousness. Awww Parth's behaviour is absolutely adorable. The strong. confident Parth is actually trembling because of Vidushi 😆 Her heart picked up its pace, something was sure to happen. And it did as the words left his mouth, "I love you. Will you give me the honour of being your boyfriend? For real this time without any conditions?" Awww that's such a cute confession, especially the "for real this time" part. She nodded and engulfed him in her arms.

That one day of reflection and observation had helped her clear her questions. The words she pondered over gave her a vision on how she'd like to lead her life. This is why I like this OS. Because you showed Vidushi changing, not because of anyone else, but because of herself. Her thoughts were what initiated the change in her, and I find that's so different and unique that it's beautiful In that moment Vidushi Kumar had learnt that she needed to be herself around her people. Her true self. Not the girl that was governed by hatred, jealousy and anger because truly that was not what defines the girl that is Vidushi Kumar. Another amazing description. I'm really falling in love with your writing. She was a homogenous mixture of many things, not just three emotions that clouded her soul. Yup, I'm definitely in love with your writing now. In reality her true self was a bit blunt, a bit honest, a bit stubborn, a bit loving, a bit sweet, a bit caring, a bit possessive, a bit idiotic, and a bit of HER. What an ending! Seriously, you ended with the best line in the entire OS. The way she describes herself is just so honest and true. And the last bit, "a bit of HER" that part just makes everything seem more poetic and beautiful. You have such great talent, I hope you'll continue writing more Vidarth fics like this.

Love, Rae

-Fin- 

Originally posted by: Happy_hippy

Hey Vikruti , I think you should take more breaks during your studying, coz the result is such a lovely piece of work!! This was absolutely beautiful!! I loved it. You don't need to apologise it went on smoothly , didn't think anything was out of place, simply loved all of it. 

Yeah Vidushi is more than what she seems to potray, infact she is a lot like Randhir.

I loved the way she was trying to put the pieces together and wondering where she went wrong.

Loved her short convo with Yoyo, how she became close to Randhir later on,, yeah Vidhir! She is really a female version of Randhir, bottling up all her emotions and letting her blunt side loose..

Yes, she does not need Parth's sympathy and one day hopefully Parth will realise this, 

This was a wonderful OS.. Keep writing more would love to read ! 

N happy studying..😊

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken

Originally posted by: unishaz

superb..

vikku what a start to my Sunday... no breakfast,no lunch,no dinner for me coz im full after reading this one!!

😳👏👏👏👏👏

Originally posted by: Vikruti

Hello! Hello Viks!

Before you read this let me just point out that this was my break from studying and my thoughts were completely out of order. I started writing and half way through questioned where the hell was I going with this story if it is really out of place...I apologize. Though I hope its alright. 😆

Trade secret: most of my stuff is written in break times so I completely get how you feel. But this felt like a planned, flawless piece girl. Do not apologize for writing this !😆

"HER TRUE SELF" 

Beautiful title. Pulls you right in. Hooks you! You want to know more about it instantly. Perfect !

She watched Sanyukta and Randhir enter the classroom hand in hand and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The famous couple of FITE had caused her peers to start whispering awws and making remarks about their unconditional love for one another. Unconditional, she scoffed. Not once had she received anything without a condition. You effortlessly make a pang of pain hit me with the sentence in bold. 

She peeked to the side and saw Parth smiling sweetly to the couple and making small talk with Sanyukta. Sanyukta being the sweet one, replied back just as kindly. Sweet. Kind. The words haunted her. When had it been the last time that she had been generous and caring to anyone? She's thinking. A thing I desperately want to see. Some self introspection from Vidushi's side. She's always been kept in the shadows. I want some more on her thoughts.

Parth. She had been sweet, kind to him and loved him unconditionally. Loved? She still loves him, it's not a feeling of the past but the present and she knows it will remain for the future as well. However, Parth was someone she dearly loved, when did she do something nice for anyone else? @ bold. This is one of the most painful realizations. Her pondering over her behavior is fantabulously penned down. 

She tried to push the thought away as the class progressed. Why was she thinking about such things all of a sudden? She didn't give a damn about others after all. She wasn't Sanyukta the great, trying to fix and help everyone. Then why were the words coming back to her every few minutes? That's my Vidu. Sarcasm is a part of who she is and I LOVE how you have incorporated that into this otherwise serious and emotional piece of perfection

"Randhir you're misunderstanding me! I didn't think..." She heard Sanyukta explain. She gave a sad smirk, misunderstood is an understatement for her. Sanyukta was not misunderstood, she was.

This is a double edged sword right there. As much as I ADORE  and Love Vidu, her judgement here is slightly flawed. Yes, she's misunderstood. But only  because she's given people opportunities to misunderstand her. She's in a way, the girl who cried wolf.

Her roommate had a loving boyfriend, understanding friends and a mentor that believed in her with his eyes closed. She, she had no friends, a mentor that found her as useless as the garbage can in the hallway and she definitely did not have a boyfriend.

Poor Vidu. I just want to give her a hug right there.

 She tried explaining to the one person that mattered the most but even he judged and retaliated saying she was "fake". Fake? Was she fake or was she brutally honest? 

Ah! There you go, using words that purely delight and torment my brain.

Was she putting up a mask? Yes she was. Years of being hurt by her parents and ex husband had left her with no choice but to put up a mask. Masks helped her hide, hide from the ones that could potentially hurt her.

Vidu's this girl. Offence before defence. Hit first then ask questions.  She'll hurt you before you can hurt her. I loved the part about masks. It's so beautifully apt that I have no words to describe it

But how does one hide from themselves? How does one get away from the pain they put upon themselves? She didn't have an answer for that.

I don't have an answer for that either. This really was something I can relate to and it made me think too. I love you for writing this. As Vidu introspects, so do I.

She stumbled back as Yoyo bumped into her after getting shoved by Jiggy. "Kaustuki will never fall for an idiot like you," she heard Jiggy yell loudly at Yoyo. The ever-green, jolly Yoyo had a frown on his face. Jiggy had departed but his one sentence had left worry lines on the face of Yoyo. "Forget about him Yoyo... here finish your sandwich." Yoyo shook his head as if shaking an animate object off of him and thanked her. She smiled. The worry lines were gone, the cheerful (and slightly annoying) nature was back.

This made me  awww. her real self is peeking out from that mask of her's

"See, you could be nice sometimes too Vidushi." Parth. The man did not leave her side the whole month after getting to know about her divorce.

Stalker much Parth?

He tried to make small talk, tried to give her advice.

Despo Much Parth?

Advice. When was the last time she took advice from anyone? She groaned, she didn't need advice, she had gone through life perfectly fine without it.

Again you effortlessly you bring us back to the serious aspect so beautifully.Your portrayal of Vidu is larger than like and you have nailed it babe. Give yourself a cookie!

He once more tried to talk. Tried to get her to react but she politely excused herself, she felt his eyes making holes on her back as she walked out. Ironic how when she annoyed him by constantly talking he told her to shut it and go away, but now the silence was drawing him towards her. One may ask why but she didn't know. He had told her he didn't feel pity or sympathy but his past behaviour didn't make her believe it. He didn't know her story and neither did he fall head over heel for her, so why the sudden change in behaviour? Was it just his kind, sweet, polite nature again? Or was he helping her out of humanity. 

^^^^

This. Perfection

She once again pondered, had she ever been humane?

She hadn't. Not to Sanyukta, not to Randhir, not to any student in FITE. She had tried to lock her roommate in a place where she could have died. She had made remarks about everyone, spewing out the years of hatred she kept in her heart. Hatred. It had consumed her. It had made her actions and words bitter. They weren't a representation of her, no, they were a representation of her emotions. Her desperate need to win. Her desperate desire to be accepted (even if she denied it). 

Again, nailed it. For once, I am out of words to say how amazing this was girl

However, when those needs and desires couldn't be fulfilled even with a lot of trying, her mind was filled with anger and jealousy. The anger and jealousy she realised led to hatred. Hatred for all those who had things she didn't, hatred for all those who were more privileged. Hatred for her potential friends and most of all hatred towards her life.

At that moment she had felt her questions coming together and her answer emerging.

👏👏

😭 This is the moment of descry and self realization. Penned perfectly.

Love you for this.

👏

Over the course of a few months her life had changed. She had limited but civil conversations with her peers. Problems were solved between her and her ex husband and his family, there were no more disturbing calls interrupting her sleep in the middle of the night. She had extended a hand of friendship towards Randhir and Sanyukta but she didn't hesitate to give her piece of mind when she felt they were going overboard. More than anyone else in the dream team she had become the most close to Randhir...there had been a few bumps in the road but she found a protective friend cum brother in him. 

Vidhir! I love this friendship and I want it in the show!

What about the love of her life? Well she's kept a good distance from the love of her life, Parth. No, she didn't hate him or ignore him but she wanted a fresh start. She would wait for him to fall for her true self from a distance.

As she crept away to the field behind the girl's hostel she felt a hand grab hers. 

With these simple but effective words my heart started beating faster , I swear

She instantly panicked and turned around, only to see him standing there with an aura of intensity in his body language.

Lub dub!

"Parth." She said, questioning him silently of his presence beside her so late at night. "I have to say it today...or I will never be able to do it." He began hastily, his hands trembling around her wrist slightly showing nervousness. Her heart picked up its pace, something was sure to happen. 

👏😳  My heart just started beating faster too!

And it did as the words left his mouth, "I love you. Will you give me the honour of being your boyfriend? For real this time without any conditions?" She nodded and engulfed him in her arms. 

I literally squealed here and my brother gave me one of his 'Girls' looks.

Ahhh! 

tHIS. was. amazing!!!!

That one day of reflection and observation had helped her clear her questions. The words she pondered over gave her a vision on how she'd like to lead her life. In that moment Vidushi Kumar had learnt that she needed to be herself around her people. Her true self. Not the girl that was governed by hatred, jealousy and anger because truly that was not what defines the girl that is Vidushi Kumar. She was a homogenous mixture of many things, not just three emotions that clouded her soul. In reality her true self was a bit blunt, a bit honest, a bit stubborn, a bit loving, a bit sweet, a bit caring, a bit possessive, a bit idiotic, and a bit of HER. 

This. This was one of the best parts of this lovely os. I had khushi ke aasu at this girl!!👏

-Fin- 

This is marvellous!! You should take breaks from studies more often. 😆
Its a well written work 👏👏and I really really loved it.

Edited by --aimy-- - 9 years ago