CHAPTER 11- CANDLES OF HOPE
Aman waited for Nandini to reply, looking expectantly at her face. A flurry of emotions passed on Nandini's face. A hint of happiness appeared on her face, before it quickly faded away. Finally smiling a sad smile, she went near Aman and said, "Aman, I cannot agree to this. No. No, I will not marry you. You deserve a girl who's untainted, young, the one who will always be by your side. You're a good man Aman, you deserve so much more. I am too torn. I won't be able to live up to you."
"I want you by my side, Nandidni", said Aman. "Just hear me out" he continued, before she could interrupt him.
"I want you by my side Nandini, not anyone else. These last few days of my life have been the best, because I met you. No one ever understood me as you did. You came into my life as a breath of fresh air. You're my friend, my companion. You make my life meaningful. Before I met you, my life was a routine. All I had was my work. There was no who I could connect with and that changed only because of you. I know that we have known each other for a short while, but time does not determine emotions."
"I treasure the bond we have. The way we can understand each other without words being said. You reached out to my soul Nandini, you helped me discover sides of me, which even I wasn't aware of till now. I know what we have between us is beautiful and I know that you agree with me too. At the end of the day, all I can think about is the time I spent with you. Being with you is my sanctuary. You add that spark into my life."
"I have not experienced love Nandini and that's why I don't know the feeling. But I know what I have with you. Maybe I can't define it, but I do know how precious it is to me, how precious you are. All I know is that I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I like you, I respect you, I admire you, and if this feeling of being elated and alive every moment when you're with the other person is love, then yes, I love you Nandini. I love you so much. I want you by my side. I won't give false promises of spending my 7 lives with you, but I promise you that this life of mine is yours."
"I know about your past, I know the ghosts still haunt you and they may continue for longer. But I promise to you, when the past comes to frighten you, you'll find me by your side, matching my stride with yours."
Taking Nandini's hand in his own, he said, "I'll follow you till the end of the time Nandini. So will you marry me?"
Overwhelmed by his words, Nandini began to cry, before she hugged Aman tightly. "Yes. Yes Aman, I will marry you" she said laughing through her tears.
Overjoyed at her response, Aman hugged her closely before cupping her face in his hands. Bending towards her face, he kissed away the teardrops from her cheeks, before gently placing a kiss on her lips, to which Nandini happily responded.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Jija I'm so happy for you" Paro said hugging her sister, while she continued to jump on her toes, like a child who had been promised lots of candy. The four women were gathered in the hall where Nandini had just told them about Aman's proposal. Aman and Nandini had planned to get married in a week's time. They both didn't want any extravagance and wanted a simple temple ceremony. Mala had promised Nandini to take care of everything and Nandini, who had always dreamt of marrying with her family's blessings was elated to have Mala, to whom she was eternally grateful.
Paro was the happiest. She had witnessed her sister's grisly past with her own eyes. She also knew that Nandini had gone through all of it to protect her, to keep her away from Tejawat and his men. Despite facing all the misfortune, her Jija had never once blamed Paro for it. Paro had always wanted Nandini to escape from all the misery and Aman had come as an angel into her life to take her away from it.
The four women celebrated at home while Aman told about his engagement to Rudra at the station. Aman couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear as he told Rudra about it. Despite his restrictions and his past, Rudra was genuinely happy for Aman. Congratulating him and wishing him all the luck for the future, Rudra enquired about the date of the marriage.
"Sir, we'll get married on next Thursday. I actually wanted to get married today itself", Aman said grinning sheepishly, while Rudra looked at him in disdain. "But the day after tomorrow is Parvati baisaa's birthday and Nandini wanted to celebrate it entirely with her, since she felt that Parvati deserved the day after what they had been through in the past few weeks"
The information about Paro's birthday, brought back Rudra's full attention to what Aman was saying. Dismissing Aman after congratulating him one more time, Rudra picked his jacket off the chair and made his way to the jeep. He had work to do.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the clock struck 12, Nandini and Prakriti brought out the cake, lit the candles and went into the room to wake up Paro. Gently brushing Paro's hair, Nandini woke her up and wished her a happy birthday, placing a kiss on her forehead.
Now fully awake, Paro had a wide grin on her face as she looked around to see the room bathed in a warm glow from several candles. She hugged Nandini, followed by Prakriti and thanked the both of them for what they had done. She then proceeded to cut the cake baked by Prakriti and feed both them a piece. Paro looked up to see Nandini and Parakriti playing with the cream of the cake, smearing it on each other. All Paro had ever wanted was to see her sister this way. She wanted nothing more.
Prakriti then handed to Paro her gift which was a pale blue lehenga- choli with beautiful mirror work, which Paro couldn't wait till morning to adorn.
Next morning, there was never a moment when Paro didn't smile. She was having the best day of her life. Mala had gifted her bangles with bright topaz stones embedded between intricate gold carvings. Despite Paro's refusals that Mala didn't have to give her a gift, Mala insisted she have them.
Another surprise for Paro was her favorite sweet, Gulab Jamun, from Nathulal's shop. As a young girl, Parvati had absolutely enjoyed gorging on them. She found them so delicious that she wouldn't even share them with her sister.
After a hearty breakfast, Nandini, Prakriti and Paro left for the mela being held in town, where they decided to spend their afternoon.
While Paro was having the best day of her life, the thought kept ticking in her head that Rudra still hadn't wished her.
After spending a truly amazing day at the mela, the 3 girls returned home. As Nandini and Paro were about to enter the kitchen, they ran into Rudra. Nandini suddenly remembered that she had to be somewhere and left the two alone, now surrounded by an awkward silence.
Still moments passed before Rudra finally said, "Happy Birthday Paro."
A beautiful smile broke out on Paro's face the moment he wished her. Blushing pink, she thanked him for his wishes. Not knowing what to say next, Rudra gazed at her smiling face before he left without another word. Paro on the other hand wanted to scream with joy. She had secretly been waiting the entire day for him to wish her. After a while she had given up hope thinking that he didn't even know about her birthday. Now hearing him wish her had finally made her contended and happy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sudden burst of music from the hallway startled Paro, who was busy folding laundry in the verandah. She walked into the hall, drying her hands, wondering what the music was about. As she stepped in, she abruptly stopped in her tracks when she saw a colorful stage, bright with fairy lights that had been set up against one wall. Nandini, Prakriti and Mala stood next to it, smiling at Paro. Even Aman had joined them.
Befuddled, Paro asked them, "Maasa, Jija, what is all this?"
"Another of your birthday gifts. Now don't ask any questions. Just come and sit down here and enjoy the show." said Nandini, pulling Paro towards her and all of them sat down before the stage whose curtains remained close.
"But jija, atleast tell me what is it happening", demanded Paro, but Nandini just shushed her and asked her to wait for the show to start.
Suddenly, a song, a song Paro had heard in her childhood, begn playing behind the stage as the curtain slowly began to raise. As the curtains finally raised, Paro was amazed to see that it was a human puppet show. The artists on the stage, announced themselves and wished Paro a blessed birthday, before they began their performance.
By now, Paro was completely dazed. She looked towards Nandini, who hugged her and asked her to relish the show. The happiness inside of Paro wouldn't stop bubbling as she watched the song and dance surrounded with an array of colors and glitter. Suddenly, she was aware that Rudra wasn't present there and her eyes darted towards every corner of the room in search for him. She finally spotted him standing at the back, resting against a pillar, his eyes fixated more on her, than on the show. Their eyes met briefly, before he averted his eyes towards the performance on the stage. Paro turned back towards the enactment, her smile refusing to subside.
Paro and the others clapped enthusiastically once the performance ended and praised it. As the performers began to disperse, Paro's eyes began their search for Rudra again. Looking at Paro searching earnestly, Nandini walked towards her sister.
Seeing her sister before her, Paro hugged her closely and thanked her again and again for the surprise. Laughing, Nandini asked her to stop thanking her so much.
Cupping Paro's face she said, "Bas Paro, how much more will you thank me? Anyway, I wasn't the one who did all this. All this was planned by Rudra Bhaisaa."
"What?" Paro asked, stunned. "ACP sir did all this? For me?"
"Yes Paro, Rudra Bhaisaa did all of this. He had come over the day before and asked me for my help in planning something for you. He wanted to know what you liked, so that he could get it for you. Even the sweets and the lehenga-choli, it was all by Rudra. Prakriti and I helped him, but it was entirely Bhaisaa's plan."
Paro took her pallu in her hand, too shocked to utter a word. He had done all of it for her. He had planned the entire thing. She had thought that he didn't even know about her birthday, but now, words couldn't describe how happy she was.
"Go and thank him" Nandini told her smiling.
Hugging her sister once again, Paro ran up the stairs towards Rudra's room. She know knew. She was sure of her feeling. She had made up her mind to admit them. Reaching his room, she calmed herself before knocking on the door. A few seconds later, Rudra opened the door and her heart beat faster by looking at him.
"What happened Paro?" he asked her.
For many moments, Paro said nothing and stood gazing up at his handsome face.
Now concerned, Rudra gripped her shoulders and asked her again, "Paro, tell me what happened?" He continued to watch her, trying to get her to respond.
Finally, Paro spoke and what she said left Rudra speechless.
"I love you ACP Sir."
So ladies, as always, please don't forget to rate and review. I value your comments more than anything. 😊😊😊
"I love you ACP sir" she said with a beaming smile.
It took Rudra a few moments to comprehend the depth of her words, before he pulled her into his arms and hugged her closely with the thoughts of never letting go.
Pulling back, he looked at her face, cupping it in his fingers and said "Paro, I love you too. I love you so much. I tried to control my feelings, but I can't. I was yours since the time my eyes first gazed into your beautiful ones." He bent down and kissed softly on both her eyes and then kissed her cheeks. By now the temperature surrounding them had dangerously risen, threatening to consume them both in its swirl.
The soft graze of his lips against both her cheeks had left Paro weak in the knees. The simple act of affection had set a spark to the cinders. Seeing her affected by his touch, Rudra's breath hitched in his lungs. He started intently into her eyes, his dark smoldering eyes reflecting the passion that would soon envelope her. Paro, now flushed to a bright pink, turned her face away, as she felt his eyes drink her entire form.
Placing his index finger under her chin, he slowly turned her face towards him and then bent down to kiss the contours of her lips gently.
He knew this was Paro's first time at physical intimacy. He would have to be slow and gentle with her so as to not scare her by their union. He wanted to pleasure her, he wanted her to experience the satisfaction of love-making, and he wanted her to desire him. By now his body was hard with pent-up energy, begging for the release, but he would have to be patient.
He had done it many times with Laila. With her, it was always animalistic, the way she liked it. They would both tear at each other when had made love. There were no tender kisses or gentle caresses. It had been just pure, brute force from both sides. Rudra had believed it to be her love and passion towards him, but now he knew that he was just a means to sate her lust. She had told it to him herself when he had arrested her. Taunting him, at a time when was already broken, she had told Rudra that she had always imagined the man whom she was in league with, while she made love to him.
But he knew Paro was nothing like that vile woman. She felt softer than flower petals in his hands. He would make it her night. He would make love to her slowly and gently, he thought mentally, controlling his body that raged with vigour.
Rudra pressed his lips first gently and then firmly on hers, causing Paro to shudder and she placed her hands against his chest to hold onto her balance. Her soft lips were driving him crazy and he longed to taste her. As the moments passed, his kisses became more passionate and vigorous. Rudra then took the intimacy to the next level and slowly brought his tongue out to lick her lower lip, shocking her. He continued to tease her lips, his way of getting them to part to grant him the access into her mouth. Finally, he pulled her lower lip gently with his teeth and began to suck on it, causing Paro to gasp, leading her to part her, now wet, lips.
Not wasting a moment, Rudra dipped his tongue into her mouth and touched hers, eliciting a moan from Paro, which nearly drove Rudra to the brink of insanity. Not breaking the kiss, Rudra wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, their feverish bodies now pressed together. Rudra kissed her like a man starved, a man whose thirst was finally being sated. His lips never left hers. His arms now roamed across her dainty waist. His long tapered fingers touched every inch of her long waist, causing Paro to shiver with unexplained pressure.
Rudra knew that this was all new for her and that she couldn't explain what her body was going through. Her hands held onto his collar for support as he continued to stroke her waist.
Gasping for air, Paro pulled away from him and breathed raggedly. Rudra looked at her longingly, his body now at its limit. Desire poured through his veins when he touched her. His dark eyes never left her tantalizing body.
He finally picked her up in his arms and walked towards the bed. Laying her down gently, where she kept still, with her eyes closed, half- scared, while the other half anticipated what he would do next. Laying on top of her, he drank in every curve of hers with his eyes, before her bent down to kiss her throat and her long elegant swan-like neck. He worshipped her tender skin with his brazen mouth. He licked and sucked at her collar-bone, causing her to squirm under him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly under him because of his ministrations.
He longed to be a part of her, to bury himself deep in her, but he knew he had to be gentle. While he was willing himself to be gentle, he felt her wrap her hands around his neck and pull him towards herself. Startled and yet, pleased by her response, he continued to kiss her. As he was about to go lower, he suddenly felt her dig her nails roughly into his back. The pleasure was slowly ebbing away, with pain now taking its place. She began to raise herself towards him as held on to him tightly.
Something didn't feel right to Rudra. Pulling away from the vice-like grip, Rudra lifted his head to look into the cunning green eyes of Laila.
Shocked, he pulled himself away from her and stood up, while Laila started laughing, twirling her long strands in her fingers.
Rudra, still in a stunned daze just kept staring at her, lost for words.
"What's the matter Rudra?" she asked in a sly, sing-song voice. "Don't you like doing it with me anymore? But you used to enjoy it before."
"Is it because you found someone else that you don't want to do it with me anymore?" she continued, her laugh echoing. "You know Rudra, I broke you for a reason. You don't deserve any love in your life. You are going to remain weak, broken and pathetic your entire life. I will never let you forget how easily you fell into my trap, how I played with you and then left you to die. You cannot ever love anyone. After what I did to you, you'll just burn the girl by staying with her."
"You cannot love. You are nothing but an empty shell, a pitiful excuse of a man one that I used and I will never let you forget it, Rudra Pratap Ranawat" she finished while her eyes blazed with a fire, threating to consume him.
Rudra's eyes shot open and he sat up on his bed breathing heavily. As he got up from the bed, he realized that his shirt was soaked with sweat. The dream had stunned him. No it was a nightmare, one that was he was all too familiar with. She haunted him every night. But this time, it had been different. It had involved Paro.
Entering the bathroom, he peeled his shirt off and tossed it, before splashing cold water against his face. The water felt good against his heated skin. Wiping the water away, he looked into the mirror to look at a gaunt face, with tired eyes staring back at him. Looking at his reflection, he remembered the events of the evening...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The evening before:
"I love you ACP sir" Paro said, her happiness glowing on her face.
They both stood in silence for the next few moments, with Rudra processing her words, while Paro eagerly waited for his answer.
A war waged in Rudra's mind. The two voices in his head battled fiercely, before one emerged victorious and Rudra stepped forward towards her.
"Leave" he told her fiercely, his face now stiff with anger.
"But-" Paro opened her mouth to protest.
"I said LEAVE!" Rudra roared at her, his eyes blazing red.
Shocked, Paro closed her gaping mouth and turned around and ran away.
Rudra gripped onto the table, his knuckles white with the pressure. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm down.
A sudden chiming noise of anklets caused him to turn around and look into the determined eyes of Paro, who was now back in the room.
"No ACP sir, I will not leave this time. You will have to listen to me today", she said refusing to budge.
Softening a little, she tried to explain, "ACP sir, please listen to me first before you throw me out again. Please." Her earnest pleading softened him a little.
Taking his silence as acceptance, Paro started speaking.
"ACP sir, I know how much you hate love and anything related to it. I saw the full extent of your anger that day in Prakriti's room. I know at this point of time how much you hate me. There was a time when I felt the same. After you rescued me, rather than feeling relieved, I felt trapped. I did not like staying at this house because you were a part of it. But Maasa and Prakriti always made me feel at home and Maasa loved me as her own child, so I couldn't refuse.
As the days passed, my anger vanished. Instead all I felt towards you was respect. I admired your honesty, your bravery and soon, even I don't know when, I started respecting everything about you. The day you rescued my sister, that day was the day that I knew loved you and today, after what you did for my birthday, I am more sure of my feelings. I know I am not wrong."
Treading carefully about what she was going to speak next, since she knew speaking about her would upset him, Paro said hesitantly, "I know what Laila Baisaa did to you was wrong. It was vile, cruel and I can't even imagine the pain that you must have gone through. I know that the scars haven't healed and that you think you can never love anyone. But that is not true ACP sir. You are capable of loving others. I've seen you respect and love Maasa. Prakriti absolutely adores you and that wouldn't have been possible if you aren't such a great person. Everyone is flawed ACP sir, but the ones who chose to overcome them are the winners.
I also know that we have met very recently, but love is not measured by days or minutes, it is by how much your heart years for the other person. It's when you see the other person smiling, it's when that person starts to mean more than your life. It's when every breath of yours is for the other person. My breath, my life, my happiness are all yours ACP Sir."
The entire time she spoke, Paro's determined eyes never left Rudra's. Rudra was amazed by her determination and resolve. But she was fighting a losing battle. His demons were far too big for him to escape.
Rudra was never good at explaining things and hence he would lose his temper and sound as rude and arrogant. After years of seeming that way, he had imbibed the trait completely. This was the way people now recognized him and he was not ready to change the way he was.
He wanted to be different with Paro. But his pride and reluctance didn't allow him to.
"Look Paro, whatever you said just now may apply to others, but not to me. When something goes wrong, I vow to never repeat it. I was scorned and used by that woman and I will never let anybody use me that way ever again. I am not capable of being loved nor can I ever love anyone. I am hollow from inside, a void from where there's no escape. I don't want you to enter my life. I can give you nothing but tears and sorrow. Go away from me Paro, before I burn you too. Leave.
Despite his detached demeanor, Paro saw the pain in her eyes. She wanted it wiped away from his life, but she would have to wait for it.
"You're not the only stubborn one in this room ACP sir" said Paro with a small smile. "I will wait. I may be wrong now, but I am sure of my future. I will wait ACP Sir."
Leaving Rudra dumbstruck, she turned around and walked away, her resolute smile disappearing as soon as she left the room.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tearing his eyes away from his lifeless reflection in the mirror, Rudra went back and laid down on his bed. Nowadays, every time he closed his eyes, the only face he saw was Paro's, bringing him peace, before his demons took over again.
"Forgive me Paro." thought Rudra as a single tear slipped from his eyes.
In the room downstairs, Paro's tears never stopped the entire night. The determination and strength that she had shown while talking to him was long gone, now replaced by tears and grief.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, Paro hardly smiled. Throughout the day she went about her work silently and answered that everything was fine whenever anybody asked otherwise.
Rudra had observed her the whole time from the shadows. He had seen the tears that she wiped away quickly when anyone was near, her grief, her misery, but not once did he come before her. He had made up his mind to stay away from her. They were never meant to be together. Deep down, he was afraid that he would hurt her.
Nandini, who knew the reason why Paro was upset, didn't talk to her about it. She knew that her sister capable of fighting her own battles. But seeing Paro so inert disturbed her and she proposed that they, along with Prakriti visit the mela again.
Despite her refusal, Nandini dragged Paro to the mela where her mood improved considerably. The girls had a lot of fun, but it was sometime later that Nandini and Paro realized that Prakriti was missing.
Rate and review ladies, your likes and comments mean so much to me. major stuff coming up in the next chapters!!
Stay tuned.
Much love to all of you!! :))
comment:
p_commentcount