CV No 1: So you are our lead character for a new show on "SP - Sex and Passion *NOT*" channel.
Ishita: Interesting ... What am I like?
CV No 1: Well you are our ode to new age "nayeee sochi-ness" ... you're beautiful, educated, strong and independent woman with a meaningful career. Plus you do something which bahu's of desi soap rarely do.
Ishita: I think?
CV No 1: Yes that too ... but more importantly you can drive.
Ishita: O wow. Creative thinking at best 👏
CV No 1: Lol we sure would like you to think that. In reality we were "inspired" ... in this case by a book
Ishita: Oh ok 😲. Tell me more.
CV No 1: You have a painful past ... your childhood sweetheart leaves you on the day of your engagement.
Ishita: But why?
CV No 1: Ah well, you conveniently drop down with a stomach ache when he tries to "ring" you. It's revealed that you can't have kids due to stomach TB.
Ishita: Oh no. What are the chances?
CV No 1: 10% as per medical experts.
Ishita: No, I meant chances of me finding out on the day of my engagement.
CV No 1: That was just the drama quotient. Anyways you're better off. The guy was a SOP and his mother is a bitch.
Ishita: Oh ok.
CV No 1: So you miss having kids while your mother harasses you to marry ... well just about anyone. She gets so annoying that viewers wanna bop her on the noggin ... literally. (CV *Self Talk* ... and to show that we always listen to those frikking critics, we give them a torturous head bopping track of Amma later *evil snicker*)
Ishita: I sure have a painful past and present no?
CV No 1: Yup ... pain which you and we reminisce and are done with in a couple of scenes.
Ishita: ???
CV No 1: And then ...one fine day you meet the love of your life.
Ishita: Is he handsome *blush*
CV No 1: It's your neighbor's daughter.
Ishita: Say what?
CV No 1: Not to worry ... she is cute. You'll fall in love with her.
Ishita: Awww ... and then?
CV No 1: Then you walk in on her Dad when he is naked.
Ishita: WHAT !!!
CV No 1: Kidding ... He's only shirtless, in his own home. You go and lecture him on his parenting skills.
Ishita: Interfering, am I not?
CV No 1: All in the name of Ruhi.
Ishita: *sigh* Am listening.
CV No 1: Anyways so this guy hates everyone in his vicinity and has serious anger management issues ... oh and he hates women more than all the other things combined.
Ishita: Err... but why the anger & hatred?
CV No 1: It's his painful past. We will elaborate on every pain of his (including back & joint pains) in the next 2000 episodes.
Ishita: Bloody hell ...his pain deserves elaboration? I thought I was the bahu.
CV No 1: Not to grudge the "almost nayi soch" please. Anyways coming back to the story ... the guy hates you more than all the other women combined.
Ishita: But what have I done?
CV No 1: It's a mystery. We're all still trying to figure that one out.
Ishita: *sigh*. Go on.
CV No 1: He thinks you are a gold-digger and taunts you on your broken relationships and your inability to conceive. Also he sends your parents to prison on kidnapping charges.
Ishita: Oh my god ... Sounds like a monster.
CV No 1: He more than makes up for it.
Ishita: How does he manage that 😲
Ishita: Really 😳... errr I meant, I must really hate this guy right?
CV No 1: Yup ...so much so that you marry him.
Ishita: What the F*ck?
CV No 1: Its no biggie...you forget all that he's done in a jiffy. We even manage a twist in here. Instead of your names on the wedding card, we print the tag line "Sirf Ruhi kay liye".
Ishita: Sounds like every woman's dream wedding *snort*
CV No 1: And then you find out that he's addicted.
Ishita: Drugs, alcohol, smoking???
CV No 1: No ...to his son.
Ishita: Son?? Wait a minute ... just how many kids does this guy have?
CV No 1: For the moment these two. We might introduce a surprise in case we run out plots related to these two kids. But don't worry ... Just remember he is HOT. But treats you like shit.
Ishita: Gosh ... What next?
CV No 1: Then there is his ex-wife who doesn't lose a chance to get touchy-wouchy with him. But not to worry, she left him 6 years ago for a hotter sugar daddy who just happened to be his boss.
Ishita: Doesn't sound much of an "EX"? Does she still love him?
CV No 1: No ... but his Ex boss does. Obsessed with your new husband he is.
Ishita: Bahhh !!! Whatever 😡
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After a few weeks:
Ishita: Things are finally settling down. Ravan Kumar isn't half bad.
CV No 1: Is that what you are calling him nowadays?
Ishita: Yup. Apt, isn't it?
CV No 1: Whatever ... seems like you can carry this soap on your own now. Tell me more.
Ishita: There's this one thing of his that really irks me.
CV No 1: His drinking habit?
Ishita: Nope ... made sure his Mom drank it all.CV No 1: his snide remarks & taunts?
Ishita: Nahh ... I give back as good as I get.CV No 1: Does he still call you fat?
Ishita: I switched to transparent sarees & he has bigger problems down south to worry about now. *HA taught him a thing or two about calling his own wife fat *
CV No 1: That's our girl ... so is it his OCD with his son?
Ishita: Got it covered... arranged to send the kid to "Uni Expressions Therapy".CV No 1: His constant tears??? On that note ...our studios are flooding you know and we can't keep blaming it all on the rains.
Ishita: Don't worry about that. I told him glycerine is close to extinction. He is abstaining at the moment.
CV No 1: Great. Is it his Ex-wife's antics time & again that upsets you?
Ishita: Am good with that too. In fact I asked him to respect her ... he went two steps ahead and picked her up in his arms.
CV No 1: f' course you did. "Mahaanta" runs in your veins *double snort*
Ishita: Huh?
CV No 1: Nothing. For the love of God ... will you just spit it out now.
Ishita: Its his weird fascination for SPA's. Am afraid "CEO of the Year" is just a cover up ... he actually works for a SPA
PS -- Fun post again.
PPS -- Please not to blame me for parts which are not funny. Am super pissed coz IF ate my entire post & had to re-write it.
Silent readers -- if anything, rewriting this certainly deserves a comment.
NOTE to Vijay bhaiyya -- Bhaiyya ji, your website is eating up the very posts on which it runs 😡 ... pleej to provide a decent save button.
Previous posts in the CV's Series:
Part 1: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4089687/tales-from-the-cvs-p
Part 2: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4091917/from-the-cvs-desk-part-deux
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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