Sree nice topic. all of you are doing a wonderful job of answering the qs.
In India still a large numbers of women are marginalized and deprived of even the most basic education. Historically, there was the practice of sati, now long abolished — where wives immolated themselves on their husbands' funeral pyres, as if life without one's husband was worth nothing at all. Arranged marriages, dowry, dowry deaths and female infanticide are all practices that continue to this day....But in traditional households, or within the less literate or poorer families, women often have little social freedom. And even in the quotidian aspects of life, deference to men is the norm — for example, it is a common practice for women from these families (which despite the economic surges of the last fifteen years make up a large percentage of Indian households) to wait for their husbands to eat before they let themselves begin their meal. And I have often seen couples walking down the street in India, wife trailing several feet behind her husband, as if not his equal.
But you know what I sit here in SFO and wonder why America is still 'not ready' for a woman President as yet and this, now, in the twenty-first century. The rest of South Asia has had its share of female leaders as well - from Bandaranaike and Kumaratunga to Benazir Bhutto to Khaleda Zia. Even Sonia Gandhi has been taken into the fold; she led the Congress Party of India to victory in the 2004 elections. There is, of course, the flip side of the coin (and with South Asia there is always that flip side) that all these South Asian female leaders have been relatives of male leaders before them (but then one jokingly thinks that one could say that about George W. Bush as well!). Despite this, despite the accident of origin — these women are powerful symbols to both women and men: to women that the heights are reachable, and to men that for women to hold power is natural.
Within my family, women were generally empowered (and I mean empowered in the sense of Maslow's use of the term 'self-actualization' — that is being the most that one can be, using all one's talents and capacities to their fullest potential, which is then more than being mother and wife). My great-grandmother was one of India's first women doctors — going to medical school after her children were born. She established a nursing home. My grandmother had been a working mother, and so had my own mother, both teachers. My aunts were chemistry professors, doctors and IAS officers.
So with a female Prime Minister and the positive female paradigms within my own family, there was never any question about anything being beyond my reach. Taking control of my life, making decisions, expressing opinions were natural. These were not issues I ever wondered about, or questioned. Growing up, the concept of a 'glass ceiling' for women was not within my vocabulary.
Some time ago, a most interesting thing happened to me on a cab ride to downown SFO from the airport. I give the Puerto Rican taxi driver detailed instructions regarding turns so that he would then be able to drop me off on the west side of Fisherman's wharf. I noticed as we approached that he did not turn where I had asked him to, leaving me instead on the wrong side of the Fisherman's wharf. When I asked him why he had not done as I had asked, he turned to me and said, "I don't take orders from women. And the women from your country are really good at giving orders!"
There is this image of urban, educated Indian women as being strong, proud and powerful. How to account for the fact that Indian women take to power so naturally? And to me, this is the important difference — that South Asian women leaders are generally accepted with grace. We are all avatar of Ma Durga/ Kali (watch out guys!)
Now in the twenty-first century in all our different chosen professions — from the arts and sciences to business and politics...... I suggest that we take the best from our history — fabulous role models, female Prime Ministers, goddesses — and use them as a platform from which we help rewrite the story at home and abroad.
The day the US is ready for a female President will be as wonderful as the day when an Indian village woman says to her husband that she is not waiting for him to finish eating before she helps herself, or walks down the street at his side, proud and full of grace!
Sorry Sree I kind of digressed fr your qs ans & wrote a essay
Edited by mink - 17 years ago
Two-day old baby girl abandoned in Patiala 
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