Daughters: A Boon Or A Bane!!! - Page 2

Are women still considered inferior to men?

In India yes, not so much in the US where I live. I think India needs another feminist revolution.

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

It's sad and completely uncalled for. Some women feel shameful when their parents are unable to give dowry, hence suicide. It's an absurd practice and people need to get real, educated, and learn to analyze all the problems that crop up from dowry. Women who think they are a burden and commit suicide are wrong. Grow a back bone for god's sake. Go work and support your family. This is the 21st century and its not like women in India don't work. I am engaged and I have already made it clear to my fiance and in-laws they are not getting a penny from my parents. They were very supportive.

Feticide is heinous and a crime. A murder is bad as it is but murdering a defenseless child?! Only truly uneducated and jaheel people can do this. If you don't want a girl put her up for adoption because someone else may want her. It's common sense and these people obviously don't have any.

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

Because Indian society is sexist for the most part. Plain and simple. This way of thinking has been passed down from generation to generation and it is very sad that society has failed to evolve and change their way of thinking.

I realize I was blunt with my answers so no offense to anyone.

Very Interesting topic...
Are Women still considered inferior to men?

Well I'm from Pakistan and my hubby is Indian but we live in the US. In both of our home towns this issue is quite prevalant....it's sad as there are those families that want to move with the times and give their girls the same liberties as their sons have enjoyed but overall the society pressurizes them to the point where they have to revert to society norms. Here in the US the same situation occurs in towns with tight knit desi communities...but as parents we are planning to raise our daughter with the same rules as our son.

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

The simple answer to this according to me is lack of educaion and fear of a new reality. When one does not know any better one travels down the same beaten path regardless of its consequence. Only education can change an antiquated belief system.

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

Again Education but also the courage to follow through on what you know is right ...many of us know that such views are ridiculous but yet do we try to change the views around us...if all of us can educate 1 person (and I don't mean book smarts) ...I mean pass on the wisdom in thinking ...what is it that makes a man child a torch carrier ???? Just coz someone started the fad yonks ago? there is no logical reason except for carring on a name ...so tomorrow if my daughter grows up and decides
not to take on her husbands name after marriage...and my son for some reason decides to drop his last name ....does that not make my daughter the elusive "torch bearer"...

sorry you caught me on my feminist best ....but think about it guys...we can all be part of this change...in how we raise our kids and talk to members in our society.

Gia

Excellent discussion Sree di 👏

We unfortunately still live in a male dominated society!  Famlies in India want sons so that their son can take care of them in their old age.  But what happens when that same son throws them out of the house or disrespects them?  There is a saying that goes "A daughter is a daughter for her whole life.  A son is a son until he gets a wife!"

•   Are women still considered inferior to men?

100%.  Whether its India or America, inequality still presists.  For all those who say that it is only in India that women are treated unequally, then lets look at a few facts.  Firstly, women in the US earn 75 cents for every dollar that a man earns.  Secondly I believe there are anywhere from 4-9 female CEOs in the Fortune 500 Companies (The number fluctuates but never gets into double digits).  Now what does that tell us about our society?  Its not only a traditional country like India where women aren't treated equally but developed and industralized nations like the US still have not reached that equality.  In fact in America, children are told in schools that the dominant culture here is that of the White Male (this means better jobs, more power, etc etc) - and then we are told that America is a democratic country where everyone recieves equality.  Interesting contradictions, isn't it?   

• Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

 Old customs like dowry, uneducated public (this is more so in the villages) and the hunger for money can all be seen as probable reasons.   In the end, greed can take over anything and everything and so dowry deaths just stem from this green monster. 

• Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

Sadly as I said before parents still believe that their son will take care of them in old age.   They think that a daughter marries and leaves the house, while the son stays with them.  But times have changed.  Not many children actually in reality take care of their parents in old age and even if they do, its with alot of humiliation that parents have to face.  However unfortunately, times have changed but our old customs and thoughts remain the same. (These are some general statements I have made.  Yes there are famlies where sons take very good care of their parents but unfortunately its not the case everywhere).

Lineage and the carrying of the last name is also another reason why famlies want sons.  However, times have changed and today when a girl marries - she does not always change her last name to that of her husband's.  Many women do choose to keep their own last names and there is nothing wrong in that - is there?  Why should a girl change her whole identity - a name is one's identity at the end of the day!  So even lineage does not fully justify the reason for wanting a boy over a girl.  

Lastly, on a more positive note perhaphs looking at history one can say that there has been progress in the status of females.  However, there is still time in reaching that pedastal of complete equality and whether that day will ever come - well that's still to be seen!

Dolly

Edited by Diva - 17 years ago

Are women still considered inferior to men? well in our indian society, women are still considered inferior to men. there is no doubt in that. men are still prefered for jobs over women. even in my classes, the teachers call on boys before girls even though they are girls!!!

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today?? the pressure is too much on women/girls to see their parents find money for dowry deaths. it's crazy how the groom's family asks for soo much money without thinking where the girl will get it from

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?? i think that this is totally wrong. the girl is the torch bearer of the family. if there were no girls, then there wouldn't be anymore children/offsprings. it's the woman who bears the baby for nine months and who deals with a whole lot and yet it's the men who get all the credit for carrying on the family😡

-i don't wanna say more cuz i'm getting carried away and i don't wanna say anything rude or out of context😳

Great topic!!!! Yes, betiyan ghar ki lakshmi hoti hai, unhi ki kismat saye ghar main roshni hoti hai. They are the flowers the fragrance and the beauty of the home.

•   Are women still considered inferior to men?

Well it really depends on each family system. The family I belong to gives way more importance to girls then boys. My cousins and I are very much spoiled in every way. And not once in 21 years of my life, I was considered as a burden to them. Education wise too, we are allowed to study anywhere, and as much as we want. As parents they do worry about the marriages but it is parallel to the worry they have for the sons. We are never told that we should learn this and that as we have to get married. According to my mom, all these things can be learned as time goes. Education is must. However, all my cousins got married after their education was finished; now they are complete housewives.  

 

Women are not at all inferior to men, but instead men are inferior to women in many angles. Men need women's support more then a women needing a moral support of men. But in all other cases they are equal. They walk together and balance the families. If any one of them is not present, the whole family is disturbed and the balance is out. So both should be there, and if any man thinks that he is superior, tell him to take care of the home for a week. He will know himself.

 

• Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

 

Dowry in Islam is a gift parents of the bride give, so she can start the new home. It is up to them, how much they want to give. They can give a set of two plates and spoons too. And if parents can't afford to give then there is no pressure on them. People who force parents of bride to give dowry are committing direct sin.

 

Dowry keh saman saye ghar nahian bantye, homes are made with the kismat of the bride and the love and understanding of the couple. It is tragic that all this is happening. Many girls grow old and miss their marriage age, just because their parents can't afford to give trucks and trucks of dowry, which is demanded by the groom's family.

 

We are in 21^st century and there should be a rule for people who demand dowry. There should a limit of what can be asked for dowry. If its that important. Otherwise, I don't think anyone needs dowry. Everyone has plates, beds, and other stuff at home.

 

As for feticide, it's a sin, a crime, a murder!!! People who wish for son and commit such crimes, they don't get pleasures of that son. They might be cruel, but God is not cruel.

 

• Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

 

 In reply to the first what I told about my family is something I have noticed in my country, in my life time I have not come across any family which felt bad about the birth of a girl. Instead I have seen families having double pleasures of having a daughter. Families, who don't have daughters in home, are very "Viran" …… Empty. Plus there is no guarantee that a son will grow up and be a bread maker of the family.

 

Many who wish too much for a son, and feel horrible and bas kismat on the birth of a daughters, their sons go on wrong path or not obedient of their parents, and finally separate their paths from their parents who wanted them so badly.

 

The child is God's gift, and it should be cared and nurtured with love and affection. Doesn't matter if that child is a female or a male, coz God has not made any one for no reason. Girls are important as much as boys are important. People, who are expecting, should pray that who ever is coming to the world is a good human being. And he/she will automatically give a good name to the family.

 

and ya if u see the stats, there are more women in the professional world then the men. so more are actually completing their education and going forward then men.

Edited by Ms. Bholi Bhali - 17 years ago

wow great discussion

it was funny though, replies from "Princess" and "indianhomey1992" were so similar that i had to chek who was writing many times! 😆

Originally posted by: kisnakiradha

wow great discussion

it was funny though, replies from "Princess" and "indianhomey1992" were so similar that i had to chek who was writing many times! 😆

😆srry i didn't mean 2 do dat!😳...just came out like dat!....i hadn't even read princesses' post so😳 

Things are changing albeit slowly. Many people do still consider sons to be superior but I do see a change in that attitude.. As for homemakers, etc. one would be surprised to see that majority of women in the US are homemakers and in fact I see more women in high positions in India than I do in the US! But socially - a lot of women were considered inferior, a burden and all the usual BS. That was also becuase of the dowry problems. I don't consider daughters a burden at all - quite the opposite, I have a daughter and am very very happy about that - I believe that daughters have the very same responsibility towards their parents after marriage that a guy has and so on and so forth. I also don't believe in a girl being 'pariah' and it infuriates me that I still see so many serials depicting that nonsense! But any change does take time and I am happy to see some changes. I was delighted to hear from one of my friends in Bangalore (who adopted a girl child) that the demand or waiting list for girl children is 6 months while for a boy child it is 3 weeks!! Which leads me to believe that this bias exists more in certain parts of India and also depends on upbringing/education, etc.

Hi.. very good topic...
These days as the times are changes so does one's views... These days women are considered inferior to men but unfortunately have to give in to alot of sacrifices and so on because they are women... one thing i hate the most is when i hear people saying that a girl has to do all the housework in the house not study and earn money as that is a mans job and the most common one i hear alot is that a guy can do anything a girl can... HELLO!! Sorry to say u can't... u can't look after all the members of your family, u can't give birth and most of all when u get married, unlike women u can't adapt to having all those relationships like devars and bhabhis and so on as well as women do... and it is kind of sad that many girls/women especially in india die mostly cause of dowry and all because they havent the courage and srength to stand up to soceitys unruly ways... ONE QUESTION TO ALL OUT THERE IF U WANT TO KILL GIRLS BECAUSE THEY ARE A CURSE THEN HOW DID YOU COME INTO THE EARTH AND IF U KILL ALL THE GIRLS/WOMEN WERE WILL ALL THOSE PRECIOUS BOYS COME FROM???


No offense to anyone please... i am a hardcore feminist and had say what was on my minded.. if i offended any one than i am sorry..

hi
nice topic,

its is very true.

as the time is changing people views aer also changing.

but for me its very true that girls are ghar ke lakshami.

i totally agree with you.