Posted:
So I just made a comment on Chotidesi's post titled "Analysis: 8/5/14", and my response turned out to be pretty long and I realized my response shares an opinion that I wish to share with everyone. Many may not agree with my post, so I am saying it now, everything I have written is strictly my own opinion and reflects my own personal understanding of RR, Laila, Parud, and society in general. Any disagreements with my post should be made in a civil, mature manner. Thanks in advance.
Paro is innocent and naive and so often makes irrational decisions and behaves in a manner that makes many feel that she is really no different from Laila. And she may not be, in a sense. But at the end of the day, Paro means well, and Laila does not.
There was a discussion on Chotidesi's post going on about Laila and what she does or does not deserve, especially as a woman in her specific situation/position, and these are my general thoughts relating to the discussion (I copied and pasted my post from there to here):
Naachnewaalis only exist BECAUSE of a patriarchal society. They put on a performance, they are reduced to pieces of meat, all for the pleasure of the man's eyes. Laila conforms to patriarchal society and I agree that one's sexuality is not linked to one's purity, but the fact that Laila dances for the male gaze and her sole job is to please them is very telling of her character, to me she has very little or no self-respect.
If one wishes to battle patriarchal codes of conduct they must teach women that they are more than pieces of meat and they should not reduce themselves to mere objects no matter what (unless maybe there is absolutely no other way to make a living). But if there is absolutely no other way for women to make a living other than to be dancers or prostitutes than that is because society is patriarchal. So at the end of the day, if one wishes to work for change, they must work to change society. It is extremely unfair that many women have no choice but to dance or have sex for money in order to make a living. What is wrong with our society and system is that many women are nothing but objects of pleasure for many men. Of course, in no way does this mean that women who subject themselves to such degradation are bad people or deserve to be disrespected; but these women are definitely responsible for their own conformation to patriarchal society.
Unfortunately many women have internalized the culture of patriarchy so much that they see it as natural and believe they are naturally inferior to men, but I believe that many women who still CONSCIOUSLY stick to patriarchal codes of conduct have no choice but to do so either, because they LIVE in a patriarchal society. In fact, no matter how much the west claims to be an egalitarian society, it is still a patriarchal society - one only needs to examine where most political, economic, and social power lays (with men) to see this.
Although Rudra always made it clear to Laila that she would never be more to him than a lover and maybe a friend, Laila could not help but fall in love with him. Can we blame her for this? Not at all. Rudra may never have seen Laila in that light but Laila is a woman of strong emotions, it was inevitable that she would fall for him. Can we blame Laila for feeling betrayed, despite Rudra constantly telling her that she would never be more than a lover to him? I do not think so. Poor Laila cannot help what she feels and despite Rudra's aloofness; he opened his feelings to her, sought her for comfort, and slept with her...and believe it or not, sex can never go on for 8 years without any emotions involved. Rudra is not stupid, he is a Major in the army, how is it that he was not perceptive enough to realize that having sex with one person for 8 years will definitely result in complications and unwanted or unexpected feelings? In this case, Rudra is to be blamed. He should have known that of course Laila would develop feelings for him, and yet he still chose to use her for his own sexual pleasures. Not surprisingly, Rudra took advantage of the patriarchal society he lives in, and Laila conformed to it.
If not an apology, I definitely feel that Laila deserves an explanation from Rudra. However, I still adhere by my opinion that Laila reduced herself to a piece of meat and in that sense she is responsible for the way she is looked at not only by others but by Rudra as well - can she look around please. She lives in a highly cultural society that has no sympathy for women who serve themselves to men. Rudra is no innocent here either. He is a patriarchal man, in the real world feminists would hate him - heck, most feminists would even hate the character, even though it's fake. But please note: Just because I feel that Laila is RESPONSIBLE for the way she is looked at does not mean I think it is RIGHT. It is absolutely wrong. But we all have internalized certain cultural values to an extent and are often a reflection of the society we live in...Laila lives in a patriarchal society and it is sad that she is judged by other women because of her profession, but she has chosen to subject herself to such judgement, because I am sure she is aware that in her society such women are not accepted.
I personally cannot understand or sympathize with Laila's plans to hurt Paro. Yes she is a woman who has been wrongly scorned in her own way, but again here Laila conforms to patriarchal society when instead of blaming the man (Rudra) for straying, she blames the "other" woman (Paro). She has no right to take her anger and pain out on Paro. Try killing Rudra instead will you?
On another note...Laila and Rudra definitely had a more realistic, mature relationship than Rudra and Paro have right now, but I still feel that Paro is better for Rudra and there is a huge difference between her and Laila.
Laila was/is a victim of patriarchal standards, she is passionate and outspoken and raw (to be honest, she is kind of the female version of Rudra and that is the last thing Rudra needs - he needs someone completely unlike him in order to change him, and change is definitely something he needs. Hell, change is something Laila needs as well. She deserves the male version of Paro, and I hope that one day she finds him). While both Laila and Paro smothered Rudra with their love, the reason Paro's love was accepted and Laila's was rejected is because of the type of love that they were both smothering Rudra with. Paro's love gives Rudra hope, it makes him see the world and even himself in a better light; while Laila's love was/is toxic and could only drown him further in his sorrows. Laila loves Rudra because the janwar she loves makes HER happy, makes HER satisfied. Paro loves Rudra because she sees a broken man who has the capability to BE happy, to BE satisfied, and to love. Paro sees all of this and loves Rudra for the man he can be...Laila, to put it plainly, loves the IDEA of a janwar, loves what a janwar can do to HER and give to HER...if she finds another man like Rudra she will be just as happy and in love. But like mentioned above, what this woman needs is the male version of Paro. I seriously think she has the potential to have a beautiful love story as well...with another man, a man who is like Paro. Maybe Aman 😉
Lastly, you cannot help who you fall in love with. Yes it is chance and Paro's luck that Rudra fell for her and it is Laila's bad luck that Rudra did not fall for her (though I also think it's expected...because I don't really think Laila's love is love for Rudra...it is love for her IDEA of Rudra. If Laila really loved Rudra she would love him no matter who he became...but no. Laila loves her own idea of who Rudra is and who he should be. She does not care for the good man he can be). Sometimes two souls connect...and that is what happened with Paro and Rudra. Like said in the show, Bholenaath has destined Paro and Rudra to be together. They have a connection. Even if Laila's love was pure and selfless, it may still not have been enough, because sometimes it's just not the right person. I'm sure we know plenty of great people in our lives...but when it comes to look for a romantic partner, many of these great people we know will just not have that spark, that connection with us. And then we find that one person who does. That is the case here. Rudra has found that one person he has a divine connection with. And Paro has found him. Poor Laila has just been caught up in this mess and I really hope that one day she has her own happy ending.
Paro is innocent and naive and so often makes irrational decisions and behaves in a manner that makes many feel that she is really no different from Laila. And she may not be, in a sense. But at the end of the day, Paro means well, and Laila does not.
I am extremely sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get it out of my system. 😳
P.S. Wow just saw that I basically wrote an entire essay on Laila and Parud 😆 Oh man, what is life...I have never written this much without realizing for any educational purposes before, and here I am all passionate about TV characters. God save me
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