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Chapter 13: Decisions
"I have always thought that love is an overrated feeling in this world so I wouldn't even talk about it. But I just want to make this thing clear that I like you. I really do. You affect me like no one ever has. It's you I want to feel around me, it's you I want to see all the time, It's you I want to think about. And all these sudden feelings are confusing me. I don't know what to name this! So, I thought I should ask you. I want to know if you feel the same way or not? We can handle it like mature people instead of playing I-spy with our feelings. If you feel the same way, we can take this further. If you don't, just say it to my face. I'll handle myself."
Honesty!
Sincerity!
Good will!
Clarity!
Concern!
All above mentioned emotions were peeping out of his words and overwhelming her in the process.
The words also mocked her!
If he was a man too god, she was a girl too selfish.
Never meant for each other.
And this was going to be her answer in return to his question.
"I don't feel the same way about you" She would tell him that.
She had decided it.
Because even if she told him the truth, it was taking her nowhere.
He would be happy, but for how long?
His happiness was going to die the second he learns the entire truth.
And by no chance she was going to allow that heartbreak to him.
Eventually he was going to hate her and hence she didn't want him to love her.
Come what may he would never learn what her heart held for him.
~~***~~
"Hi..!" the familiar and much hated voice interfered with her thoughts, snapping her back to the surroundings.
She was sitting in her cubicle supposedly doing some file work while Arnav was still out for the meeting.
"Welcome back from your dreamland" Akash further said while she continued to stare at him coldly.
"What are you doing here?" she asked acidly and his smile broadened.
"This is my Bhai's cabin, Miss Khushi Gupta and I am allowed inside" He explained with pleasure, placing a hand on the back of the chair she was sitting in and the other hand on the side of the chair, thus trapping her.
"Move back" she hissed as he started leaning close to her and she quickly turned her face to the other side.
"Come on, Khushi, you don't hate me that much. Do you? Look at me, baby!" He said devilishly.
"If you don't move back this second, I am pushing you. So spare me from touching you" She screamed in a slow voice.
"Fine. As you say" He said with a chuckle and stepped back from the chair.
"I really scare you" He stated as she took in deep breaths, calming her nerves.
"Why have you come here?" She asked
.
"You already know the reason" He replied, crossing his hands across his chest and leaning his back against the glass wall of the cubicle.
"No, I don't" She replied with a lowered gaze, displacing the mouse on the mouse pad to get rid of the screensaver on the PC.
"In that case, lemme tell you again" Akash started while she focused her gaze on the mail she had just received.
"You're delaying your assigned task" He let out and she stopped typing the reply, her fingers whitening.
"I know my work and I am doing it" She replied in a clipped tone.
"Well, Miss Khushi Kumari Gupta, you're more than allowed to fool my brother but don't you dare try it on me. I won't buy it." Akash sneered while Khushi resumed the typing with increased speed, hitting the keys as if she held vengeance against them.
"You were supposed to cause him damage, not be his love interest. Seems like you are forgetting the real reason of your presence in this office." Akash continued, fixing his gaze on her changing expressions.
"I am here because you are a bast*rd, Akash and you certainly do not need to remind me the reason of my presence in this office. I am aware of it, every second, every minute." She replied, her fingers clenching into a fist on the keyboard and creating pressure on the keys.
"Fine, I agree with the bast*rd portion. I was born to be one." Akash said, with a malicious smile appearing on his face as he pushed himself forward towards her, once again towering the chair with his tall frame.
"But know what? Bhai is no less! He's not what exactly he makes the world see. He's a monarch, thirsty for power and to top the charts, he loves pitying others. He wants to be the better person, never cares to have a glimpse at the other side of the coin. In short words, he thinks he can be a god to me but I know his true colours. You don't! He's a man unworthy to live a blessed life. He needs to be destroyed and YOU are going to do it. You have to break him into pieces. Devoid him of everything he relishes, enjoys, is proud of. Snatch the single happiness coming his way. Only I have the right to own happiness. He deserves nothing but hurt." Akash continued in his own daze, for once and all, letting his guard slip and Khushi could see a mentally obsessed person before her.
She was scared with the words, she could feel the fear travelling down her spine and chilling her insides.
What if this man succeeds?
What if Arnav really gets hurt?
Would she be able to survive it?
Can she afford to be a part of this?
Did she really have an option?
"Look in my eye, Khushi" She heard the commanding voice of Akash and instantly looked up in fear.
"If you want your family to lead a respectable life, do exactly what I have asked you to do. Get those property papers signed. Rob him off his possessions. If you don't do this, those pictures of mine and Payal would be sent to your house, this time to your Buaji instead of you. Your Buaji is asthmatic, isn't she? She might have a severe asthma attack. Or should I send those pics to your Babuji? It would serve as a ticket to heaven for him as he is already dealing with a heart attack" Akash went on, laughing a sinister laugh.
"You have a week, Khushi. Get the work done or I am going to parcel those pictures, along with the pregnancy report of Payal to your house".
Akash threatened her for a last time and she looked up at him with moistened eyes.
"Tears! Don't tell me you're feeling bad for Bhai. I might choke with laughter, sweetie. You can't feel bad for a person whose brother is set to ruin your and your sister's life. Bye now." Said Akash and before Khushi could guess his next move he leaned in and pecked her cheek.
"You look irresistible with these moist eyes." He winked at her and sauntered out of the cubicle, making her feel disgusted while the tears made their way out of her eyes.
Her life had indeed become a living hell and she could see no way out of it.
She was trapped and something told her that this was going to get much uglier.
~~***~~
The same night as she lay still in her bed, her head covered with the comforter she could feel a heavy rock settled on her chest, making breathing difficult for her.
She could literally see the glinting and hopeful eyes of Arnav when he had returned from the meeting and had smiled at her.
The evening had passed in a daze.
Each time she looked up at Arnav's face she could feel daggers being jabbed inside her throat from all directions. Air seemed too dense to be breathed in.
She recalled the day she had learnt of Payal's affair with Akash. Payal was happy and ecstatic as she narrated her journey of love with Akash to a tensed Khushi.
Khushi had asked Payal to be cautious and careful and Payal had assured her that Akash was the most sincere and truthful person.
It had hardly been a month when a crying Payal had rested her head on Khushi's shoulder and informed her that she was pregnant with Akash's child and learning of the pregnancy, Akash had broken up with Payal, thereby refusing her pleas to marry her.
This had shocked and infuriated Khushi to no limits.
She had, on the same day, visited Akash and given him a piece of her mind while in the meantime, Akash had done nothing but to give her lecherous looks.
She had asked Akash to marry Payal but in return Akash had mocked her.
He had also offered Khushi to sleep with him and he might consider her words but Khushi had slapped him right there with a few colourful words and had stomped out of the place, fuming.
She had decided to make Payal see the reality, that Akash was a nothing but reeking bast**d and that she should move on in her life.
Payal had taken the news with tolerance but that was not the end of it.
The very next day, a parcel was received by Shashi Gupta which held a few intimate pictures of Payal with Akash.
The parcel had been a severe shock to the old man and triggered the heart attack from which Shashi Gupta was still recovering.
The parcel was later found by Khushi, who didn't have a hard time guessing the name of the sender.
After Shashi was hospitalized and stable, Khushi had paid another visit to Akash, ready to murder the man with her very own hands but what took place next had landed her in the situation she was in now.
When she had reached the flat Akash was living in, she had been pleasantly welcomed by the man.
The day was still clearly etched in her memory.
FLASHBACK
"Was expecting you, Khushi" Akash welcomed her with a smile on his face while the girl lying on his bed, half-dressed, collected her clothes and awkwardly scampered out of the room.
"Can't believe you're this cheap" Khushi spat in pure disgust, as he buttoned his shirt with the same smile.
"What's cheap about it? S** is one of the basic needs of humans, especially men." Explained Akash, sending another wink her way.
"How dare you send that parcel to Babuji? I am going to murder you for it" said Khushi, infuriated with his reply and lurched forward to grab him by his collar, her eyes spitting fire.
"Oh my..! I am scared sexy doll..!" Akash laughed, out of blue circling her waist with his hands and she flinched at the touch.
"Leave me" She wriggled, tightening her hold on his collar and pulling them wildly.
"Hear me and I will" He replied, forcing his gaze on her eyes and she could read the lust in them.
She stomped her 3 inches heels brutally on his shoes and wincing in pain, Akash staggered back.
"You're a devil and I am going to make sure you pay for it" She roared in anger.
"And how will you do it? By tempting me to send another parcel to your house?" Akash asked, taking a step towards her and smiled as he noticed her demeanour slipping.
"Remember the slap? The parcel was a return gift for it. Now do something more to infuriate me and you'll receive another parcel. Maybe a video clip this time!" Akash replied, his voice scathing.
"You will not do such a thing" Khushi had warned Akash.
"Yes, I will not. As long as you follow my words I would be the most harmless person you know" Akash smirked, welcoming the ball in his court.
"What do you mean?" asked Khushi. She could feel the apprehension running high in her blood.
"Get a job in my brother's office and make him sign some documents for me. Pretty simple and easy" said Akash, reading her expressions.
"Why don't you do it yourself? Why me?" she asked.
"Because that son of a bi**h, Aman Mathur wouldn't let any document pass to Bhai without scanning them with his eagle eyes. And even Bhai doesn't sign any document without reading them. Plus, I have my own motives"
"And what makes you think your brother would sign the papers offered by me?"
"Because you're a different thing, sweetie. You're the type of girl anyone can easily trust. For Bhai, it would take time but I am sure you'll earn his trust. You have that charm Akash explained.
"I won't do it"
"Okay, go home and wait for the second delivery"
"You can't..."
"I can and I will"
"You're no human"
"Thanks for the compliment."
"I can't cheat anyone"
"Don't worry. He's not anyone. He's Arnav Singh Raizada and you have no other way to save your family from the damage I can cause."
The words slumped her shoulders as she reflected upon her choices.
It was true.
If she wants to keep her family intact, she will have to do this. There was no other way out.
"But in return, you'll have to handover ALL the images and clips to me. And by ALL I mean ALL."
"As long as you don't ask me to marry your sister, I am fine with your conditions. Akash Raizada isn't really insensitive. Do my work and I'll keep my word."
"Jeeji deserves a person far better than you. So forget the thought of her wanting to marry you"
"Well of course. She deserves a person who can handle her 'oh-I-am-so-pure' antics, not me" replied Akash.
"So, it's fixed. I'll arrange a job for you in Bhai's office. The current PA will have to be bribed to do something which can cause Bhai to fire her from the job which would lead to a vacancy. I can suggest Sheetal to Bhai and he'll call her for an interview. She'll behave herself and knowing how Bhai is, I am sure he's going to throw her out of his cabin. There you can make your entry and impress Bhai. With this, no one would suspect my presence in the picture and you will do your job smoothly. Get it?" Akash explained while Khushi listened to him with an unresponsive face.
"Get a tongue and speak" Akash said, taking a step towards her.
"Okay" She replied in a heavy voice, eyes down cast.
"Good. Now go home and wait. And yes, once you join the office make sure that Bhai never suspects you. You'll have to behave yourself before him. I am dead sure you're going to win over his heart, like you did mine" Continued Akash with a wink, extending a hand to her face and she quickly backed away.
"Do not touch me" She spat and rushed out of the room, leaving behind a smirking Akash who mentally rejoiced at the perfect play of his cards.
Things were going great for him.
Very soon, Arnav Singh Raizada was going to realise what hurt and betrayal means.
FLASHBACK ENDS
A tear escaped her eye as she realised the distance she had covered since then.
She had successfully won over Arnav's trust and very foolishly allowed him a place in her heart.
Not to mention, led him on to the same way by allowing him to fall for her.
But hadn't she tried her best to avoid this?
She had known she was not the best thing for him, she was meant to cause him hurt, thus she never wanted him to fall for her, but he did anyway.
All of this would have been so much easy had the dhak-dhak and acidity stayed away.
Now she was ready to strike him while he had tenderly offered her his heart.
He had asked for her reply and there was no chance she could let her heart answer.
She'll have to shut off her heart and let her mind rule.
She'll make him believe that she has no feelings for him.
She'll make him hate her.
That would make the things easier for both of them.
Once she gets those papers signed, she can easily leave the office and he can hate her forever.
To shatter his hopes was the only possible way to not break his heart and that was what she was going to do.
"I am too selfish to love you, Arnav. You deserve a better person. Not me. For the sake my family, for the sake of myself, and for the sake of you, I'll make you hate me.
With the decision being made, she drifted to a perturbed sleep.
*****
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