STAY .. for me
If I asked you to stay, without asking, would you hear me?
If I asked you for forgiveness, without asking, would you forgive me?
If I asked you to smile, without asking, would you understand me?
Because I am in this dark, deserted, delirious state,
Drowning in, if you leave me like this to my fate,
So If I asked you to stay, without asking, would you stay... for me?
He sighed, and closed his eyes as soon as the pen in his hand stopped the words flowing from his heart to the piece of office paper in front of him. One name screamed out at him from this poem. Zoya. He didn't know why he wrote down what he could, he didn't know why he felt the way he did. Only, he did. He'd grown attracted to her and had felt it coming onto him since.. well, ever since he could remember her presence. But why was he then scared to admit it? To himself and to her? If just once, he'd ask her to stay, directly without any other way of implication, she would do it wouldn't she? She'd stay back wouldn't she? For him? Then why was he such a coward?
Coward? His name was Asad. A lion, literally! So where did all the courage go? His hands balled up into fists. Of course he had courage. He had the courage to berate her for every small thing. He had the courage to roll his eyes and make her feel as though her opinions were pointless. He had the courage to blinking voice it to everyone how she would never fit in anyone's life. But even that, he realized was a cowards way out. He never wanted to face any sort of feelings that were rising up in him. So he did the first thing anyone would do. Run away.
He smiled bitterly, his jaws clenching. Oh the irony. He'd been doing his best at staying away from her, pushing her away, and insulting her. And finally, when she was really going away, he wanted nothing more than to hold her back, wrap his arms around her and promise her he'll always be there for her from now on. But the tickets were booked, and she'd also said it,
I didn't know you'd help me so much
She didn't want to leave did she? But then how could Tanveer be wrong? Maybe she genuinely meant what she said. He switched off the lamp beside his sofa and got up, ready to go sleep. A sudden gush of wind picked up the piece of paper with it, and Asad watched it flow outside, without any remorse. It wasn't like any one was going to read it. And there was no way he would give it to the person it was desired for anyway. He got into bed, ready for another sleepless night and mentally preparing himself for a lot more.
* * * * *
Zoya could not sleep. Why? She wondered. Why did it matter so much to her, that he'd booked her tickets to leave? Right after giving her a way to extend her visas? Why was he such a confused and complicated person, who took so much time to figure out? She'd given up figuring him out though. And it wasn't like her. It wasn't like Zoya to give up something easily. But then again, when one's heart breaks, then how can a person continue? The wind was quite chilly, as she stepped outside. But this wasn't what was bothering her. It was his actions. Asad Ahmed Khan. Lion, she wondered to herself. More like chameleon! That guy changed colour faster than she could change her mind! One day he's all good to her, the next he'll insult her. One day he'll shout at her, have a good go at her for something that wasn't even her fault and the next he'll buy her what she wants. One day he'll look after her like she was the most precious thing to him and the next day? The next day he frigging booked tickets for her to go back!
She didn't want to go. She'd found more than a family living here in this house. Yes, the initial days had been awful for her, however things improved so much from then onwards. Well, misunderstandings had always been present. And she hadn't behaved the best way possible, she knew that. But she was human! Who didn't make mistakes? A scowl etched itself on her forehead at the unfairness of it all. It also added to the stabbing feeling that was penetrating deeper through her chest by the minute. Why did it hurt so much when he gave Tanveer more attention? She didn't know the depth of her feelings for Asad, however she was sure there was something there. But how could she act on it if he kept giving her mixed signals?
Zoya kicked a small stone and it rolled away towards the base of the bench. Watching it settle caught her attention on something unfamiliar in the environment. A piece of paper was stuck by its corner on a rusty leg of the bench, its ends fluttering uselessly against the wind. She rushed towards it and her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the handwriting on it and saw the logo on the top corner. What on earth was Mr Khan writing about?
* * * * *
Tanveer smiled thoughtfully to herself as she walked slowly around the house. Zoya would be leaving the next day and slowly, Asad would get back to normal. She needed him to. She had not forgotten Razia's harsh, spear-like and cunning words that were thrown at her so mercilessly in front of so many people! No way would she let that hypocritical, two faced woman have the last say. If Razia had taken lead by winning one battle, she, Tanveer, would win the full-fledged war between them and end it in victory.
Her mind drifted back to her past.
Your past does not define you
Exactly. Her past would not define her. So what if she had been drowned in injustice? So what if everyone who met her and knew the real her scorned at her? So what if before, she was too small, too naive to speak up for herself? Right now, she was self-sufficient. She'd survived this long hadn't she? She'd shown everyone that she was a fighter. And even if that meant grabbing an opportunity of earning money with both hands. She would do that any day. Even if that meant going against her best friend. Well, in some way, she wasn't really going against him was she? Yeah, he'd fallen in love with Miss USA and what not. But love didn't really exist. She'd seen enough in life to know that.
Just as she was crossing the door, her eyes fell on Zoya in the garden, reading something. Well, maybe she could spare a few words of comfort for a broken heart.
* * * * *
Zoya could not believe her eyes. Was she reading a poem? Was Mr Khan a closet poet along with being a closet dancer? What other talent did he hide? She took a closer look at the words, but at that moment, heard someone call her.
"Zoya?"
"Yeah Tanveer?"
"What are you doing outside in this chilly wind?"
"Oh, nothing. You know.." Zoya smiled back.
"What's the paper about?" Tanveer asked curiously, spotting it in her hand.
Zoya looked down, and thought whether to share the writing with her. Immediately, her possessive side took over. If Mr Khan had really written it, somehow she didn't want Tanveer to read it. Tanveer had enough (and gave enough too!) attention from the Angry Young Man. And the idea did not sit well her. So by sharing it, she was not going to let Tanveer shower some more attention on him! Not while she was here anyway.
But then again, she was leaving the next day, so how hard could it be?
"This? Nothing. Just a list of things which I needed. I was just checking it and I've got everything I need for tomorrow." Zoya found herself mumbling, but then she smiled brightly. "I'm not one to make lists and everything. I was never organized. But then, I really don't know what's happened to me now. Maybe Mr Khan is really rubbing off on me!"
Tanveer offered Zoya a smile.
"So, what time is your flight tomorrow?"
"It's at twelve noon and check in is at nine o'clock in the morning."
"Oh. Let's see what you've got on that list then." The curious question was back and now Zoya really did need a permanent way out.
"I've got everything, don't worry. Oh look! I've forgotten to pack my Ipad charger! I don't know how I'll survive without it to be honest! Let me just quickly finish it off now."
"Ok then."
"Good night Tanveer!" and she left before Tanveer could even utter a word to oppose her decision.
As soon as she had closed the door behind her, Zoya read the poem again. It seemed as though the poem was written for both of them. Did Mr Khan write this poem for her? Did he really want her to stay, but couldn't say it? It all fit so much. That was why he'd given her an employment letter? He actually wanted her to stay? And everything made a hell lot of sense all of a sudden. Him asking for forgiveness, him asking for her smile. All without directly asking it! He was there for her when she found out she lost her Abu! He held her, comforted her and helped her through it. Did that really mean..?
She wanted to go ask him. Directly. But then, that would only put him on defense mode! He'd refuse as soon as possible! So how could she find out if this was meant for her?
Zoya walked slowly to her bed and sat down with a thump. God Mr Khan was so convoluted! When he wanted her to get out of the house, he didn't hesitate in saying it at all. What sort of a host was he? And when he wanted her to stay back, normal hosts would just ask and persuade guests to stay back, however he couldn't bring the words to his mouth! Annoyance was hitting high now.
"Weird guy!" she huffed. "I'll have to think to think of something."
* * * * *
Seven am. Two more hours before Zoya would have to check in. He could volunteer to drop her. But would he really able to do it? Asad glanced around the table. Everyone was there except the one who he yearned to see. Where was Zoya? And if he dropped her, he was sure Najma and his Mum would tag along. Not that he minded taking them, but that meant he wouldn't get time alone with her. And somehow they only spoke, really spoke, when they were alone. That was when he could voice, however shortly, whatever was going on in his mind. Maybe he'd ask her for forgiveness and make sure one last time she really wanted to go. But if the others came along, then he wouldn't have the chance.
Life would go back to normal. Normal was good wasn't it?
Nope. Normal now seemed alien to him. But he'd have to get used to it. Gritting his teeth, he continued with his breakfast.
"Good morning everyone."
The cheerful voice rang in the atmosphere and he looked up at her. The smile was ever present, radiating her face with a glow. He hair was left open and she looked at him for a tad second too long. Why did she do that? Not that he minded, but there was something knowing in those beautiful brown eyes of her. Something that he longed to know.
"Uhmm, Phoopi." She began, as soon as she sat down. "Thank you so much for everything. I mean you guys have done so much for me."
Dilshaad gave a few words of comfort, while Najma looked close to tears. Asad merely looked on at Zoya, wondering where she was heading. Her eyes drifted to his and held his gaze for possibly the longest time. He didn't want to look away this time. But she broke the connection soon afterward and continued.
"I was hoping to find out more about my dad. Who he knew, what he did and how he was basically."
Everyone's eyes were fixed on her. Absentmindedly, Zoya brought her hand onto the table and Asad immediately noticed a piece of paper folded neatly and gripped between her fingers. If he wasn't mistaken, was it his paper? A more studied look confirmed his suspicions as he saw his office logo in the top corner of the paper.
His eyes widened. She'd got it. He was sure of it! She was the one who found the poem. Did she recognize it? Did she know it was meant for her? Had she figured out what he really wanted? He glanced at her again, but she was looking at his Mother with a slight, hopeful smile on her face.
"So, would it be alright if I stayed back for some more time?"
Something inside his chest skipped a beat. No, several beats. She wanted to stay back! She decided to stay back and maybe, maybe it was for him! No, it definitely was for him. He looked at her once more and found her staring at him. Right now, even though his Mother and Najma were shedding tears of joy, he only had eyes for her. And slowly, uncontrollably, a small smile formed on his face which she reciprocated with one on hers.
* * * * *
Zoya got her answer. She could feel part of her soar into the air with no hope of coming down! That was for her! That poem was for her! And he really wanted her to stay back! She could see her Phoopi and Najma's smiles which would not leave their faces. However, her gaze was stuck on one person. And when he smiled at her, she finally got an answer that had kept her awake for so many nights! She finally got the answer she was hoping for! He did not want her go. He wanted her to stay. Stay for him! And as she gave him an equally small smile back, she realized that was exactly what she did.
So If I asked you to
stay, without asking, would you stay... for me?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Heyyah People.
Do let me know what you think. My first Asya OS. I've written tonnes more for AR. This idea was in my mind. And I have not proof read it so please do forgive any mistakes. Also, it's not quite how I wanted it to turn out, but eh..
Poem above was made by me. That's how the whole OS came to my mind really. 😆 Please do give me your opinions. Cheers!
Sanaa😊
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